Kill Zim
by Familiar47
Summary: The galaxy's biggest TV show, countless contestants, and all for one thing: to watch every nemesis of our favourite green maniac try to exact their revenge on Zim! Summary does not do this justice!
1. Chapter 1

Kill Zim

_Zim and the crew are brought to Gladiator World to be toys for the Irken Empire's amusement. They are stuck with a pyromaniac human, a mutant, a Were-Alien, and three other aliens chosen specifically for this punishment. They must survive the Gladiator world and each other all the while._

Xxx

Prologue

Another day, another mission. The spy looks back and forth across the terrain from under his cover. He slowly advances towards his goal.

Stop! One of the security drones lock onto him. He does not even draw breath as it examines him, the red lights of its eyes giving it a rather eerie appearance. Finally, it turns away and scans another section of the ground.

The spy begins to move forward, making each step a silent as possible. He avoids the main path, approaching the front entrance from an angle. He is mere feet from being within the circle of the defences and safe from retaliation.

He had awaited this day for so long, to finally have the chance to bring his enemy down. Now his plans would come to fruition! He would have his victory after so long!

Going back and forth in this seemingly endless war upon all that is evil had been costly, it had taken his friends and alienated him from his family but he would come out victorious! Even as the spy began to reach out to finally open the door, he could imagine the future.

He would be known as a hero, he would be remembered for as long as humanity endured in this universe! Children would be taught of his exploits and his descendants worshipped as royalty!

But then suddenly, something went wrong! A beeping sound that formed a tune! IT was coming from his pocket! Damn it, he forgot to rid himself of anything that could cause noise to give away his position!

He spun as the two nearest security drones turned and locked onto him.

"Security breach, security breach, perimeter breached!" A voice droned from a small speaker on top of the door.

"No!" Tossing away his disguise, he whipped out his weapon and slammed it into the side of one of the drones, knocking it onto its side.

The next one caught him with its stunners. He cried out as electricity ran through his body. He collapsed onto his side, and lay there, staring at the sky, pondering his failure.

His lack of attention had caused his cover to be blown, and now he was once again foiled by his enemy. His mission had failed, HE had failed himself and the human race.

He felt the drones grab his ankles and begin to drag his immobilized body away. His coat dragged behind him, and his bat remained attached to his wrist by a length of wire he had tied around the handle and his wrist to keep it from being knocked away before his mission.

"And stay out!" They all shouted as one before they unceremoniously tossed Dib Membrane, his Aluminum Bat, and the squirrel costume he had worn over his body onto the side walk. The Gnome Sentry Drones returned to their positions and sat in the ground, their creepy red eyes examining anything within the boundaries of the fence.

Growling, the big headed boy grabbed hsi cell phone. "Gaz, what the hell is this about? You blew my cover!"

"Get your big head back here before I drag it back here, dad's going to take us out to Bloaties' Pizza.'" Gaz Membrane said impatiently. "Back here, car, five minutes."

The fifteen year old sighed. "Coming Gaz." He hang up and stomped back home.

Xxx

"The FOOL! He truly thought his puny disguise could outwit my security system! HAHAHAHAHA- I AM ZIM!" Deep under the house that Dib had tried to infiltrate, a series of rooms tinged red were occupied by only four individuals.

The one who was speaking was a slender, green skinned alien with a pair of antenna on his head and large red eyes. He wore a pair of boots, black pants, and a red striped shirt. Invader Zim had grown to a proud stature of five feet since his assignment to Earth. Though he had not conquered it, his new height had given him some authority to requisition new weapons and training programs for himself.

"Aw...the squirly left...TACO!" A short silver robot that looked like a mismatched walking pile of scrap proclaimed, opening the top of its head up and pulling a freshly made taco out of it.

"VICTORY! THE MIGHT IRKEN EMPIRE WILL TRAMPLE OVER THE PUNY BUT BIG HEADED STUPID HUMAN DIB!" Zim proceeded to laugh maniacally.

"Uh...hey Zim?" A shorter, rounder Irken spoke up.

"What is it Skoodge?"

"Um...look at this." Skoodge pointed to one of the main screens which showed an image of the solar system and a warning sign.

"**WARNING: INCOMING VESSEL!**" The computer blared ,but Zim did not acknowledge it.

"What is it?"

"Uh...there's an incoming ship." Skoodge said.

"And?"

"Uh...It's Tak's ship!" Skoodge said. "Remember? I saw her buying it at Carshoptonia!" He had to pause in an attempt not to vomit at having to use the childish name given to what used to be the Venarane home world by the Tallest.

"And?"

"Zim, what happened last time Tak landed here?"

Zim just stared at him. Irritated, Skoodge smacked himself in the face and dragged his clawed hand down his face.

"Zim, think long and hard. What will happen if that ship, which is containing Tak lands here!" The Invader reasoned.

"Hm..." Zim pondered the answer.

Xxx

Zim continued to think over skoodge's question as he read a book about human immune systems.

Xxx

He sat in the cafeteria, staring at a spider as it spun a mosquito caught in its web into a cocoon. He ignored Dib as he shot wads of wet paper at his head.

Xxx

Zim stared at the wall infront of him as a fellow class mate by the name 'Nicky' was standing on his shoulders and trying to carve an ice sculpture using a chainsaw.

Then...it hit him.

"TAK'S COMING TO KILL ME!" The Irken flailed around, making the kid fall off his shoulders and send the chainsaw spinning into the air.

As the boy landed, the chainsaw came down and the boy screamed. Zim looked down. "Whoops! Sorry!"

"It's...ok...it's only my arm...and my legs." The boy replied.

Xxx

Skoodge was standing in the middle of the living room back at the house, staring at the TV, which had the Scary Monkey Show on. GIR and Minimoose cheered as they watched the monkey scratch its butt for the seventh time.

Suddenly Zim kicked the door open and rushed inside. "COMPUTER! LOCK DOWN THE HOUSE! ACTIVATE DEFENCE SYSTEMS! CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION TO READER'S DIGEST AND SET THE MAIL BOX TO SELF DESTRUCT!"

Outside, a massive explosion levelled every house nearby except for Zim's. In the house next door ,the rotund lady on her couch looked around and then shrugged. "Eh...I need me a new house" She looked back to her TV.

Back in Zim's base, the Irken Invader was running around. "AH! OOH! EEH! AH!" He stopped in front of the main computer. "COMPUTER! CONTACT THE TALLEST!"

"**CONNECTION TO MASSIVE ESETABLISHED.**" The Computer boomed.

Xxx

"My Tallests, we are picking up a transmission from...EARTH!" The operator finished his sentence with a scream.

"Zim." Red sighed. "Alright, put the moron on, let's get this over with. And hide the donuts!" He stuffed a box of donuts into a drone's hands and stuffed him under his throne.

"Transmission open!"

Zim appeared on the screen. "MY TALLESTS!"

"Yes Zim." They said in a deadpanned tone at the same time.

"That mission stealing maniac Tak is coming to Earth to steal my mission and try to kill me!" Zim screamed. "I need reinforcements! I need a battlegroup! Nay, a fleet!"

"Uh...we would Zim but...uh..." Purple began.

"Invaders confronted by er...rogue Irken Invaders must personally deal with them if they attempt a mission theft. It is a...rite of honour! Yes, a contest to see who is worthy to serve as an invader of a planet and you my little friend must fight for the right to conquer uh...what was your planet again?" Red asked.

"Earth." Zim said, not taking any notice of the obvious amount of bull pies that was forming on the Massive with every word Red said.

"Earth! Right! You must fight for the honour to conquer Earth!" Red exclaimed. "Now go Invader Zim, and fight for your honour, your life, the ratings- I mean uh...the honour of the Irken Empire!"

"I shall not fail my Tallests!" Zim proclaimed before cutting the link.

"...he is so dead." Red snickered. "Do we have the camera drones in his base ready?"

"Link established." A drone replied.

"WELCOME TO 'KILL ZIM'!" An animated voice yelled as the image of the title appeared on every Irken ship and planet. "In this, we shall finally watch as Invader Zim!" The screen showed a picture of a smiling Zim standing on top of the ruins of an Irken ship. "Meets his well deserved demise!" The picture exploded. "Watch as-" Red's voice took over. "Tak." It showed a picture of Tak cleaning up garbage. "Whoever she is, defeats Zim in single combat fgor the honour of conquering the planet...uh...what was it called again?"

"Earth." A Lieutenant replied.

"Earth!" Red yelled.

"Why is it called Earth anyway? Does it have a lot of dirt on it?" Purple asked.

"I dunno...wanna swing by? Zim did say there's tons of junk food, and with him gone we won't be in danger of blowing up." Red smirked.

"I'm in!" Purple cheered.

"Stay tuned for 'Kill Zim'! Brought to you by the Irken Empire!" Red cackled.

All over the empire, trillions of Irkens eagerly awaited the commercials to end.

Xxx

"AH! OOH! EEH! PLAN! COMPUTER GIVE ME A PLAN!" Zim shouted.

"How about run and hide?" the computer asked.

"What kind of plan is that?" The invader shouted.

"I dunno, the only one I could come up with?" The computer guessed.

"You're a computer! You're supposed to make a...a...brilliant plan!" Zim shouted.

"Ok...uh...run...hide...and make sure you have a gun incase she finds you?" The Computer asked.

"GAH!" Zim began to curse in Irken. "SKOODGE!"

Skoodge sighed. "Yes Zim?"

"I need you to put on this disguise as me, go outside, wait until Tak arrives, and say 'hi' when she shows up!" Zim shoved a holographic generator onto Skoodge's PAK.

"But won't she try to kill me?" Skoodge asked.

"Skoodge, Skoodge, Skoodge," Zim shook his head. "We're friends, right?"

"Yeah..." Skoodge said as the hologram activated and his voice became Zim's.

"And friends take risks for each other, right?"

"Yeah..."

"So be my friend and take a risk for me, buddy!" Zim dragged Skoodge to the elevator.

"HE'S GONNA GE DECAPITATED!" GIR cheered.

"What?" Skoodge asked. "Zim, can't you think of a way that won't get me killed?"

"I could, but I don't think I have enough time." Zim shrugged. "But...if it makes you feel better how about when she comes at you I sick GIR on her and you can run away screaming? Feel better now Mr Selfish?"

"Yes!" Skoodge replied before he was shoved out into the street by Zim.

"Alright, we're in agreement!" Zim ran back inside and slammed the door, locking it and placing a force field over the inside of it and all the windows and activating sentry guns and had some of his own combat drones on the inside at the ready.

"The things I do for friends, Irkens, and duty to the empire." Skoodge sighed.

"You ain't gonna help him are you?" GIR asked Zim.

"The hell I will." Zim chuckled. "As soon as Tak is done with him I'm gonna lay low and make a better plan."

"Whu-why not shuh-shoot her while sheh-she truh-tries to kuh-kill Skoodgie?" The universe ended...or some universe ended as GIR made a plan that would work.

"It's too complicated GIR! What's more it brings unwanted attention to me!"

Outside, Skoodge looked up as a pair of camera drones hovered over him. "What the-?"

"WELCOME BACK TO 'KILL ZIM'!" A voice proclaimed from the Speakers. "So Zim, how do you feel about your upcoming fight against Tak?" It was the voice of Tallest Red speaking to Zim.

"My Tallests! I-uh-ehh-er...I...feel...good?" Skoodge said hesitantly.

"YOU HEARD IT RIGHT FROM THE VLORAN'S MOUTH FOLKS! HE! FEELS! GOOD!" Red exclaimed. "And here comes the challenger!"

"Meep!" Skoodge said.

Inside, Zim was watching with horrified eyes. "It's being televised? NO! If Skoodge wins he'll get all the glory instead of me!" He ran around. "GAH! I need a plan!" He paused. "Wait, that's it! While Tak is killing Skoodge, I'll pull out my gun and shoot her!" For emphasis he pulled out his standard issue Invader rifle ,the only non-malfunctioning thing that was not attached to his PAK. "And then I'll say Skoodge made a voluntary sacrifice without my knowledge in an attempt to distract Tak and give me the opening I needed! How do I make such good plans?"

"AH! OH ALMIGHTY TALLEST SPLORCHAMHEIMER!" Skoodge screamed as he referenced one of the most infamous Tallests in Irken history.

(Fact: Tallest Splorchamheimer (Splore-kam-hime-er)-Attempted to betray Irken Empire, murdered 24723579384 Irkens, and is now used as a curse word in universal language...which coincidentally is English for one half the galaxy and Binary for the other half)

Zim slowly edged towards the window and peeked out...and his jaws dropped. He saw Tak, and like him and Skoodge she had grown, and he himself had trouble trying to look away from her attractive features right from her antennae and beautiful, flawless face to her slim, elegant legs. She wore a pair of boots and black leggings like any Irken, but her shirt was purple and included a cape. She was currently bending Skoodge back over her knee. He had no spine to break, but it was extremely painful for Irkens to experience it.

"Wow, Tak's been doing good." He said appreciatively as she tossed Skoodge into the front door.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF THE TALLEST HELP ME!" Skoodge screamed.

"Oh, right, save Skoodge." Zim checked his rifle and saw it had a full charge of 500 shots.

Tak picked Skoodge up by his throat. "Come on Zim, at least put up a fight before I rip your eyes out!"

"NO! NOT MY EYES! I NEED THEM TO DO STUFF! HELP ME!" Skoodge screamed...right before Zim kicked the door open and raised his rifle.

"Put the short one down!" He commanded.

"What? Is this a trick?" Tak demanded, dropping Skoodge just as his hologram deactivated.

"Thanks for the distraction Skoodge, I'll handle this from here." Zim smirked.

"Anything...for...friends..." Skoodge fainted.

"Zim, I knew it was too much to expect you to confront me on even grounds." Tak smirked. "Then again I didn't have any plans to do that either!"

"It's over Tak, now you will meet the wrath of ZIM!" Zim laughed maniacally, and when he opened his eyes she was gone. "...ah crap."

THWACK!

Zim was knocked back into the house. He landed on his feet as Tak leaped in through the unsecured door, her spider legs extended. Extending his own, Zim raised his rifle and fired once. She leaped over the shot and swung one leg at him. He countered with his own spider leg and fired again, seering her side but then she slammed into him. Tumbling as they wrestled with each other, Tak pinned and straddled Zim, beginning to punch him as he blocked her blows.

"And Tak goes for the mount!" Red yelled as the drones recorded the fight. "And what's Zim doing now- oh." He sounded disappointed when Zim flipped Tak off of him to the side and delivered a cross to her left cheek. "Ooh! Zim hit a girl!"

"Tak, you can break my bones. You can kick me and punch me in the squidlyspooch. But if you think you're going to steal my mission, you are even more defective than I thought!" Zim taunted Tak as they circled each other.

"We'll see about that when I hang your corpse in front of the Tallest." Tak hissed.

"I said you can't have the mission!" Zim said.

"Yeah, I heard you, moron." Tak rolled her eyes.

"I said...you can have the MISSION." Zim emphasised the last word. "GIR! That's the code word!"

"Oh! OK!" GIR screamed from nowhere.

"What is going on-" Tak paused when suddenly the floor opened up and GIR appeared ,holding a massive energy weapon that was mounted on the top of his head.

The SIR Unit waved. "Sorry Takky!" Then he fired once.

The Camera Drones were blown away by the explosion, but moments later two more appeared from the walls and looked at the carnage that was the living room. Zim, Tak, and Skoodge were all on the floor, unconscious while MiniMoose floated over them, squeaking as it tried to awaken Zim.

"And it's a tie!" Purple yelled.

"Crap! Zim's still alive!" Red exclaimed. "Ok, that's it, they can't get any fighting done in this environment! COMPUTER!"

Sighing, the computer in Zim's base replied. "What?"

"We're moving this fight elsewhere. Collect these three and search for a few more. We'll be having Kill Zim in a much more appropriate environment." Red smirked.

Xxx

"WELCOME CITIZENS OF...uh...what was this called again?" Red, who wore a wig on his head along with a moustache and a set of glasses looked to Purple, who was dressed in a long dress-nobody had the heart to tell him it wasn't a ceremonial robe.

"Earth." Purple said.

"EARTH! You shall be watching the number one event in the universe! KILL ZIM!" Red proclaimed to the crowd of humans. "For this, we will be offering a reward of uh..." Red looked to Purple.

"Snacks?" Purple shrugged.

"Ooh! Zim said that one human likes video games!" Red said. "We have tons of planets to make those kinds of games." He looked to the crowd. "We will give out the world's most amazing, realistic, and awesome video game ever created!" He held up a game. "Invader Apocalyptic!"

It was an Irken Video Game that was based on the legendary Invader Apocalyptic who defeated the Tallest Splorchamheimer and salvaged the Irken Empire when it was about to fall to the Meekroobians fifty thousand years ago. It had only one game made and it was still the most popular throughout the Irken Empire and several other races.

"There's uh...death, violence, explosions ,laughter and uh...snacks!" Red said. "Yes! As a bonus prize we will also give out a life time of snacks!"

"I'M IN! OUT OF MY WAY! MOVE IT FATTY!" A voice called from the crowd as somebody made their way forward.

Humans were sent flying or crushed by the contender, who revealed himself to be a boy with black hair and blue eyes. He wore a pair of dark sneakers and pants along with a black t shirt under a denim jacket.

"And here we are!" Red grinned. "We have our first champion! What is your name?"

"My name is...CARLOS!" The boy exclaimed.

Right after he said that, several windows smashed. Looking over, Carlos blinked. "That happens every time I say my name."

"HEY! THAT GAME IS MINE!" Suddenly a young teenager with purple hair and wore dark clothing and a skull necklace.

"Gaz, wait, no! It's a trap!" Trying desperately to hold her back was her older brother Dib. "Isn't it obvious! They're aliens! Come on people nobody is that tall and floats! LOOK AT THEM!" He pointed at where they floated off the ground.

"We offer one of a kind items everybody! Plus, snacks that you just love will be handed out if you ignore the big headed child!" Red said.

The crowd began to cheer. And Dib slumped, muttering. "Idiots."

"Ok everybody, don't be shy! Tacos, Pizza, Nachos, Cookies! We have them all!" Purple said as drones handed the snacks out.

"And who are our other two contenders?" Red asked.

"Gaz Membrane." Gaz said.

"But I'm not a-" Dib was cut off.

"Big Head! He has a big head so he is now contender big head! That will be your fighting name in this tournament!" Red smirked. "Good...we have three...that will do just fine."

"Now everybody, we shall go to a disclosed fighting area where the events will be broadcasted to you all live!" Red yelled. "Tune in tonight for this exciting event: KILL ZIM!" The entire crowd shouted with him.

Laughing maniacally, Red called the Massive and had the entire group teleported away. The teleportation created a small blast that left the crowd covered in black ashes.

"...weird guy." One of Zim's class mates, the kid with webbed feet said. "Anyone want to see something weirder?" He got down and began to untie his shoes.

"AH!"

Xxx

"Hm...something is not right...air...stale...can't move...can't stop...talking like...William...Shatner!" Carlos exclaimed from where he was held in a gravity beam. Dib, Gaz, Zim, Tak, Skoodge, and three others were held in individual gravity beams and they were all in a circular red room...the bridge of the Massive!

"Zim! This is your doing isn't it?" Dib shouted.

"No! I was beating the heck out of Tak on live Irken TV, there was this huge light...I don't remember much else after that." Zim chuckled. "I wonder how much the Tallest liked my performance!"

"ZIM! WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS I'M GONNA FLAY YOU ALIVE!" Tak's hands stuck out of her gravity prison and tried reaching for Zim.

"Oh you're just cranky because you lost." Zim chuckled. "No wonder you're a mere garbage drone. An invader in that temper would never be able to conquer a planet full of crying gullible smeets!"

"SQUEAK!" Suddenly Minimoose floated down.

"Minimoose! You're here! Wait...oh no...that only means one thing." Zim said.

"What is it?" Carlos asked. "And dude, nice antenna...are you an alien?"

"No! I'm swamp gas and what I mean is that...well...remember the saying 'where there is smoke, there is fire'?" Zim asked. "Say Minimoose is the smoke and-"

"MASTER!" GIR burst out of the ceiling and flew right into the gravity prison, hugging Zim.

"GIR! You're squeezing the life out of me! You already nearly killed me once today!" Zim lectured his robot. "Now get me out of here!"

"Yo dude I'm on it." Zim, Dib, Gaz, and Tak blinked in surprise as they looked down and saw Carlos was out of his prison.

"How'd you get out of that?" Tak yelled.

"I look on that computer right next to me and it said 'off'." Carlos said, pointing to a computer that was 10 feet from where he had been held that had a huge button labelled 'OFF'.

"That's way too far for a human to reach. How did you reach that far?" Tak asked.

"Good question, I don't know." Carlos said before something red came out from under his shirt and the pointed tip of the tail scratched Carlos' head. "Ow! Hey be careful with that thing!" His tail retreated back down into his clothes.

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!" Dib yelled.

"wow, what the ysaid about you is true. You ARE crazy." Carlos snickered.

"I know! He keeps accusing people of different things." Gaz huffed.

"That kid's an alien. That kid's big foot. There's no way a human can have green skin ,red eyes and no ears." Zim mocked Dib. "He is so prejudiced."

"I know, I mean do you know how much it hurts to be said I'm possessed? Now I'm not letting you out." Carlos crossed his arms and spun on the spot, a pout on his face.

"YOU LET ME OUT OR I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR SPINE OUT THROUGH YOUR THROAT AND USE IT TO PLAY JUMP ROPE!" Tak screeched.

"Wow, she's cranky too." Carlos said, facing the group again.

"I know! She had a crush on Dib, only somebody insane would have a crush on big head." Zim said.

"I DO NOT!" Tak yelled.

"...I like this girl." Carlos snickered. "Insane, cranky, just my type, but there'll be time for that later!"

"Hold on there human!" Carlos suddenly spun and produced a rifle sized weapon, aiming it at Red.

"What the-where'd you get that?" Red asked as the flame thrower was jammed against his face.

"Uh...Twilight Zone?" Carlos said.

"where's that?" Red asked.

"Oh well if you take a right on 76th street and then go down that creepy alley where that wierd woman who keeps saying 'Doom' hangs around it's right down a ladder about...seven miles and then its right through the lake of lava." Carlos said.

"Would that woman be Ms Bitters?" Dib asked.

"Oh, you know her?" Carlos asked.

"She's my teacher!"

"She teaches? Wow, I knew that education is practically shot in America-or basically all countries now but I didn't think the budget was that bad." Carlos shuddered. "The poor children. But back to business. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"I'm the host of this event!" Red said. "You were supposed to remain unconscious and in your prison until we reached the arena!"

"Oh I don't respond well to drugs." Carlos said. "The big headed kid is too insane, the purple haired girl is too evil. The green kid...pretty sure he's just as evil and insane."

"But I'm not an alien, right?" Zim asked.

"Meh, whatever." Carlos shrugged.

"Yes!" Zim pumped a fist into the air. "In your face Dib!"

"And the purple eyed girl there-oh man I have never met anybody cranky and loud as her...well except that one girl I tried to date but that never worked out." Carlos shuddered.

"What happened?" A now awake Skoodge asked.

"She tried to drown me in Maple Syrup!" Carlos said.

"That's awful!" Skoodge said. "Uh...Maple Syrup can kill you, right?"

"Well if your face is covered in it and your lungs are full of it I guess." Dib said.

"That's awful!" Skoodge said.

"Well, you know the old saying, death is best served sweet and on pancakes." Carlos licked his lips.

"Who made that up?" Dib asked.

"Me, I'm right here big kid." Carlos said. "Now, to deal with the two tall geeks-" He paused as he turned and found himself facing ten guards aiming rifles at him. "Guys. Guys. There's no need to resort to violence. I just want to know where my room is before we get to the arena."

"WE'RE IN A PRISON YOU IDIOT! THEY DON'T GIVE OUT ROOMS!" Tak yelled.

"Yeesh, no wonder Zim doesn't like you." Carlos said.

"Where are you taking us, alien scum?" Dib yelled at Red.

"To the Gladiator World Big Head." Red replied.

"Ooh! Sounds nice! A bunch of gladiators fight it out and get fed to lions." Carlos said. "Right?"

"Uh...lions are meat eaters ,right?" Purple asked.

"Yeah." Carlos and Dib nodded at once.

"Then yes! And so much more!" Red yelled.

"Ok, I'm in, where's my room?" Carlos asked.

The guards pointed to where he had been held in a gravity beam. "...the in flight movie better make up for this."

"I hear they got a good resort on the Gladiator World, we're just moving so fast we don't have the time to get you into a room. So for the next five minutes try to stay alive." Red said.

"Five minutes in here? I guess I can handle it." Carlos shrugged and lowered his flame thrower.

"Good! Come along Purple! We'll tell you all the details of the games later!" Red stepped out of the room...only to hear screams and the sound of blows landing and felt the heat rise. Spinning ,he saw all ten guards on the ground ,bruised or burned as Carlos stood over them. The boy was shaking with rage as he held his flame thrower.

"What happened?" Purple shouted.

"Uh...I got claustrophobic." Carlos said. "I didn't want to go back in, your leader here got pushy and uh...I just snapped."

"What kind of human is this?" Skoodge wondered out loud.

"He isn't human! Damn it I'm telling you he is possessed!" Dib shouted.

"No I'm not." Carlos waved one hand...and his tail popped out into the open again. "Uh...I got that from...the...internet?"

"Sounds good to me." Zim shrugged.

"SILENCE!" Red shouted. "We shall go to the Gladiator World and the show Kill Zim shall continue!" He laughed maniacally. "YES! IT SHALL FINALLY BE DONE!"

"Aw..." Zim smiled. "It makes me warm and squishy inside knowing my tallest has so much confidence in me!"

Carlos looked around. "Uh...can I use the bathroom?"

Xxx

End of chapter


	2. Chapter 2

Kill Zim

Xxx

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!" Red yelled, resisting the urge to put this human out of his (Red's) and Purple's misery. 'Don't kill him Red, we need him to kill Zim.'

"...Aren't we...not not not not there yet?"

Sighing, Red dragged one clawed hand down his face. "We are not there yet. It's been three minutes, can't you wait like..." He looked at his watch. "A hundred seconds?"

"Dude, I have what could be considered ADD's older and muscular brother who's out of puberty." Carlos replied. "I need to RUN! JUMP! BURN THINGS!"

"So tell the Empire Mister Carlos, what are your talents?" Coming to save Red, Purple held the microphone out to Carlos.

"OH uh...well I have my flame thrower here." Carlos hefted his flame thrower.

"No weapons are allowed on the planet." Red said.

"How do we fight then?" Carlos asked. "I swear if you tell me to use natural resources to make a weapon I will just spite you by digging until I find gas and light it on fire when somebody comes by just so I have the satisfaction of BURNING them." Carlos snickered. "Oh, and I'm pretty athletic too. Just finished my 15 mile run before these two twigs picked me up." He pointed at Red and Purple.

Instantly ,trillions of jaws dropped as the Irken Empire, the Resisty, and the clueless humans watched Carlos insult the Tallest in even the smallest way.

"Alright, where's the can around here?" Both Tallests screamed and spun around, Purple leaping into Red's arms as they looked down at Gaz.

"How did you get out of your prison? What was the point in those gravity cells if they don't even work?" Red yelled.

"Oh, Zim's walking microwave let me out." Gaz pointed at Gir, who was looking at the skull necklace Gaz had bribed him with.

"Ooh..." Suddenly Gir ate it.

"...I lose a lot of jewellery that way." Gaz said. "Now where's the bath room?"

"SHE GONNA EXPLODE!" Gir giggled.

"Gaz, get me out of here! Hurry!" Dib yelled.

"Hm...Big Head needs to be relaxed." Purple said. "Shock!"

A drone jabbed Dib with the tip of his staff. "OW! What was tha-" Dib stopped. "Dizzy...legs...jelly...throat dry...doom..." He went limp.

"You better not gave killed him, dad won't like having to clone him." Gaz said.

"Ah don't worry, it was a minor shock." Purple said. "Uh...you had that set on low right?"

The drone looked at his staff...which was set to 'Oh dear Tallest Splorchamheimer why do you even feel the need to set it to this? Seriously man that just ain't cool, it's cruel.'

"Uh...yes my Tallest." The drone replied.

"My Tallest! We have arrived!" The helmsman shouted.

"Good! Wake big Head up!" Purple commanded, followed by Dib screaming as he was jolted back into the waking world.

"My arms! They feel noodley and gross!" Dib screamed. "What have you done to my arms you alien scum? AH!" He was shocked into unconsciousness once again.

"No change from what I can tell." Gaz shrugged, coming out of the little humans room.

"alright then! Start broad casting!" Purple yelled.

"Uh...you are broadcasting." Carlos ,who still held the mike said.

"Uh...I knew that...GIMMEE!" Purple snatched the mike away.

"Welcome people of uh...run it by me again?" Red began.

"Earth." Zim, Dib, Tak, Skoodge, Purple, and Carlos said at once.

"Earth! We are broadcasting three minutes away from Gladiator Planet. There the most dangerous, the most cruel, craziest, fighters along with everyone who has ever had a grudge against Zim will be participating. We promise grand prizes for the winners and for our viewers you will get the privilege of seeing action fights, explosions, drama, doom, and lasers!"

"I still think the smoke screen would work." Said Purple.

Red pushed a button and a laser shot Purple in the eye.

"OW!"

"See? Lasers are the best!"

"Uh...why couldn't we just have the fight back on Earth?" Dib asked.

"Because little Big Head, lots of people are in on this grudge against Zim and they are paying extra for this. If you're too fragile I'd suggest getting out of the way when they come for him. If you're tough...go ahead and get a little stomped, it'll increase ratings. Oh, and if you do Kill Zim, most likely the rest of the contestants will come after you "for killing him first before they could so we expect this to be long and bloody. We'll deploy teleporters after Zim is dead." Red explained.

"But what happens when I win?" Zim asked.

"Uh...you...will be...give me a second?" Red asked a drone.

"Uh...we tallied up the chart my Tallest...one million-billion bets on how Zim will die." The drone said.

"So nobody is betting on him winning?" Red asked.

"Nope."

"We need somebody to bet for Zim!" Red said.

"Yo." Carlos dropped a 10 dollar bill on the console.

"What do you want?" Red asked.

"I'll bet on the little green dude."

"you want to bet against one million-billion against yourself?" Purple asked.

"Just that many? I've had two million billion vote on how I could die from uh..." Carlos paused. "Well there's this guy I'm chasing and trying to kill and he always beats the crap out of me. They keep betting I'll die in one of these chases...but I show them!" He looked at the camera. "If you can hear me Kurt, I'M COMING FOR YOU, YOU G.I JOE WANNABE!"

Suddenly a drone with a screen approached and activated, revealing a boy Carlos' age wearing a pair of red sneakers, black shorts, a black t shirt, and a pair of sun glasses giving Carlos the finger. He had a name tage on him that said' Hi! My name is-' and on the line it said in cursive 'Kurt'.

"Damn you!" Carlos shook his fist at him. "I'll kill you yet! You can hack those drones! You can punch, kick me, break my bones and somehow strangle me with my spinal cord but I will never stop hunting you Kurt! I'm on an unholy crusade of justice here baby!"

"Uh...unholy?" Dib asked.

"Yeah, unholy, ain't nothing holy with me." Carlos snickered. "But to quote the Boondock Saints...let's go commit some gratuitous violence." He paused. "Anyways, see you later Kurt. I have a million-billion bet to win, then I'll be back to kill you."

Kurt waved and then the screen went blank.

"Uh...how do I win?" Zim asked.

"Either A: kill every single contestant." Purple began.

"Oh boy that'll be easy!" Zim smiled.

"We currently have...546 832 contestants." Red said. "B: Everybody kills eachother while trying to kill you. Or C...you somehow manage to evade them for an amount of time."

"How long?" Zim asked.

"Uh..." Red and Purple discussed this.

"How long do these events usually last?" Red asked.

"Uh..." Purple looked at Generic Drone 1, who sighed and pulled up a chart.

"Usually the one on one man hunter matches last a few hours or at least a week. But for something this big..." The drone did some calculations. "I estimate...eight months."

"EIGHT MONTHS! I have to go to school! Our dad will know we're missing!" Dib yelled.

"Don't worry, there is a time distortion field set up so that time there will progress much faster than the rest of the universe around it. We will be able to still broadcast events accurately, but only eight hours will have passed out here!" Red explained. "So this 'dad' guy won't even know you're gone."

"Got that right." Gaz said.

"WHAT ABOUT THE SCARY MONKEY SHOW? I NEED MY MONKEY! WAH!" Gir began to wail.

Zim shuddered. "That monkey again. Gir can't you find an Earth show that doesn't have that monkey on it?"

"WAH!"

"I guess that answers my question...GIR! DEFENCE MODE! NOW!" Zim needed the robot to shut up.

"Yes my master!" Gir snapped a salute and then fell over, snoozing.

"Squeak!" Minimoose said.

"The moose has a point." Carlos said. "you need to get that dog fixed." Gir was wearing his dog disguise.

"He's not a dog! He's an alien robot!" Dib yelled.

"wow, that kid is paranoid, insane, loud, and annoying." Purple said.

"Just like my cousin Bob!" Carlos said. "OF course he isn't so much anymore after that one accident with the flaming birdies...of doom."

"I say we add this kid to the roster of targets." Red said. "Trillion credits on Big Head getting his head blown up!"

Instantaneously trillions more bets poured in

"Hehe...even if Zim doesn't die Big Head might annoy everybody into killing him." Red laughed evilly.

"Hold it right there, I need Big Head here back home, if he isn't alive dad will spend six months having to clone him instead of taking me to Bloaties!" Gaz said.

"Six months to clone him? We could do that in two minutes! We could even make his head smaller." Purple said.

"Sorry, not an option, if dad finds out aliens made a clone he'd say cloning is imaginary by relation. That's a no go for me." Gaz shook her head.

"Ok...ADD HER TO THE ROSTER!" Purple commanded. "Creepy Purple Haired girl falls into volcano, three trillion credits!"

"You can't just bully my friends like that! I'm with Zim!" Skoodge joined Zim.

"Ok...the fat Invader goes down in the first hour, one trillion!" Red yelled.

Skoodge looked down, his antennae drooping. "I'm not fat..."

"...Meh, I need to go with the underdogs. Put me up for killing." Carlos shrugged.

"Ok, crazy insane pyromaniac goes down by uh...getting drowned for 1.5 trillion." Purple said.

"Dude! That is harsh!" Carlos said, shocked at the thought of being drowned in the most hated liquid he could think of. "Water? How cruel can you get?"

"What's so bad about water?" Purple asked.

"This is why!" Dib, free of hsi gravity cell splashed Carlos with something wet.

"AH! AH! ACID!" Carlos fell over, writhing in pain.

"Oh yeah! Water is like acid to us!" Skoodge said.

"Ah ha! So you're an alien Carlos!" Dib leaped on Carlos and started pulling at his face. "It's not coming off! It must be a flesh mask! You're smarter than Zim but I'll get you yet!"

"Gaz-OW! Little goth-ow girl. I know you-ow want him to-ow live, but if-ow he doesn't remove-ow his hands in three-ow seconds-OW he'll find out what-ow happened to the last science-ow dude who tried to experiment on me!" Carlos growled, his eyes turning red and the temperature rising suddenly.

"Uh...Dib-stink, I would stop now if I were you, I think your assault on Carlos-human is triggering this rise in temperature." Zim pointed out. "Ok seriously stop, it's getting hot now...please?" Dib ignored him.

The Irkens in the room looked to their PAKs as their built in heat shields began to fail.

"Ok! That's it!" Carlos suddenly grabbed Dib by the throat and reared back oen fist.

"Mommy!" Dib yelled before the fist made contact with him.

Suddenly the showcut to commercials and a young pink eyed invader appeared. "Hello everybody! I'm Invader Tenn and due to the intense violence that is taking place outside of the battle we are taking a five minute intermission. Rest assured all that the Tallest have promised and more shall be delivered." Then Tenn played an Irken radio station until somebody yspoke to her off screen. "And here we are! Back to KILL ZIM!"

The screen showed Dib with his head wrapped entirely in bandages. He stumbled around, muffled groans coming from under it.

"I told you to stop Dib-stink. For once I actually tried to save your life, and what do you do? You don't listen to me." Zim rolled his eyes. "This is the third time I've tried to warn him of danger and once again he ignores me!"

"I told him what would happen if he didn't stop pulling on my face." Carlos said.

Gaz shrugged. "I'd have done the same thing."

"I gotta say Gaz, your brother does not listen to good advice. I mean Zim is a little weird but your brother is off the hook-hey, watch those hands pal!" Carlos looked to Dib, who had stumbled around blindly and accidently put a hand down Carlos' pocket. "Hey, what are you- OH NO!" Dib pulled out a small metal canister. "Dib, if you can hear me, do not move!"

"He won't listen to you Carlos-Human, the Dib-Stink is dumber than-" Zim was cut off when Dib was sent flying from the explosion the canister caused.

"I told him not to move." Carlos said.

"Put this bet down for me. I say twenty monies on Big Head getting killed before Zim." Purple said.

"Yeah, you got it right, I never thought I'd meet anybody worse than Zim...and his head is EXTREMELY big." Red noted.

"Um...hey, have the other ships arrived yet?" Purple asked.

"They are in position now my Tallest." Drone 1 said. "Should we heal Contestant Big Head?"

"Yes, we need him to be able to scream." Red said before a drone came out and pulled a struggling Dib into its claws. After it was done fixing his face, it dropped him.

"AH! MY FACE!" He rolled around, now reasonably uninjured.

"Oh will you stop whining? We healed your injuries." Red growled.

"You'll all pay for this one day you alien scum. I'll be there to watch them cut you open abd spill all your gooie alien insides!" Dib shouted.

"Anybody want to explain to hi mthat since he's not on Earth but another ship that 'he' is the alien here?" Tak asked rhetorically.

"Well technically his sister here is also an alien but then again she's no where near as annoying as he is." Carlos pointed out.

"ENOUGH!" They all looked to Red. "We shall continue with the show! The peanut gallery is OVER!" He cackled maniacally.

"Contestants, one and all!" As Purple spoke the other three contestants dropped out of their gravity cell. "We have arrived at Gladiator World! The grave of millions and where champions are born!"

"This planet once belonged to the mighty Veniran race, they fought against the Irken Empire for seven thousand years straight and almost won, but then...well the Massive was done construction just five hundred years ago and we didn't want it to go to waste so...we used it to conquer the planet." Red shrugged.

"And enslave what little was left." One of the three aliens spoke.

"That's very smart of you to say. He knows too much, take him to a cell and shock him with ten thousand volts!" Purple said.

"I'm a Veniran you idiot." The alien grumbled.

"Ok, seeing as you're a contender...1000 volts only." Purple said.

Two drones advanced on the taller Alien...and were knocked down instantly and the alien had a staff pointed at Tallest Purple, who screamed and leaped into Tallest Red's arms...right before the alien vanished.

"Teleportation complete my tallest." A drone reported.

"Close one." Purple sighed in relief.

"Good, now get off me!" Red tossed Purple off, letting him hit the ground.

"Contestant uh...name?" Red looked to a drone.

"Credalan." The Drone replied.

"Contestant Credalan of the Venirans has been teleported down to the Gladiator World in a random area. This will be repeated with all contestants, who will acquire weapons and equipment. There will be teleportation grids and even atmosphere based vehicles that can be used! There will also be bases and outposts. Oh, and as an incentive for a much longer fight, we have deployed four million of our Copy Troops down to the surface. They are basic infantry that operate in squadrons only and will seek out and eliminate any contestants. So make sure they don't kill Zim before you, because if they do then nobody wins!" Red cackled again.

"You're getting the cackling thing down ,but you do it way too much." Carlos said. "Try rubbing your hands like this." He wringed his hands.

"I don't see how that will- ooh that feels nice." Red said as he did so. "Feels schemy, I like it...you're next."

"Aw-" Carlos vanished.

The screen showed Credalan in the middle of a forest...while Carlos writhed in pain in the middle of a shallow puddle.

"AH! NO! NOT THE WATER! AH!" The boy screamed.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" Tak asked.

"Yes, yes I did." Red nodded. "Now, the Copy Troops will have their own weaponry and vehicles not accessible to contestants, and once one team finds a target, other teams will coordinate for optimal destruction if they are within several miles. So make sure you don't get spotted, and if you do make sure you either run and hide or kill anything that sees you."

"Now contestants, let us introduce our final contestants! Zim, Big Head, Little Creepy Purple Girl, Tak, Skoodge, and contestants..." Red stared at the other two contestants, a female Irken with blue eyes who was glaring at him and a Vortian with green eyes. "Do I know you? Wait, I remember this Irken."

"Former Invader Skullene, my _tallest._" She hissed.

"Oh yeah! Isn't she the one we spied on in the locker room back in the academy?" Purple asked. "And then when she wouldn't go out with you, you had her transferred to Planet Consortia-" Red covered Purple's mouth.

"Yeah, Consortia...great Tallest Splorchamheimer that place was awful, but after I escaped and tried to assassinate these two bozos they caught me and then...well the rest is history." Skullene was almost as tall as Red and Purple, short by barely a foot and looked like she stayed in shape instead of going stick thin like the two Tallest.

"Hey, you had a chance to go out with the tallest Skullene but no." Red shook his head in shame.

"You asked me over the radio while I was being shot at by snipers, you cut off my link when I tried to call for artillery support and refused to let me talk to the field units unless I said yes!" Skullene hissed. "With the way you run things Zim won't have to doom the empire, you'll do fine on your own you decadent, lazy, immature, antenna tingling-" Irkens gasped at the horrid insult. "Squidly slurping, eye gouging, lying, horn choking, incessant piles of waste! Why they chose you to be Tallest I will never know!"

"Uh...because we're the tallest? We're taller than you, you're just mad because they didn't choose you." Purple sneered.

"I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU MADE ME INTO A CONSORT ALL BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO ABANDON MY TROOPS!" Skullene yelled.

Unlike most Irkens, Skullene was _actually_ feared for her fighting prowess rather than her ranking.

"Zim, who is this girl?" Skoodge asked.

"Don't you remember Skoodge? Invader Skullene." Zim whispered.

"Is she famous?" Dib asked.

"You have no idea Dib-Stink. While we revere and obey the Tallest, she constantly snaps at them, insults them, challenges their authority on the grounds that they were leading our proud empire into ruin. They sent her on dangerous missions to get rid of her, but she kept coming back. She even conquered the feared Orginia empire." Zim said. "While many look down on her for her impudence, and by the way the way of the Tallest has been our way since the formation of our empire, she has gathered many followers by her side, respected and feared. She only lead one percent of one percent of the Irken fleet and she still conquered any planet she came to. But then after she was sent to Consortia, she came back and killed over seventy guards in an attempt to murder the Tallest, and I am proud to say _I_ stopped her. She attempted it when they were inspecting Devastis, and my causing the blackout stopped her from accessing their room due to the deactivated security doors. She was captured and that was the last I heard of her until now."

"I would have made it if it wasn't for you Zim!" Skullene hissed.

"You tried to murder the leaders of our society! That is the highest crime! Punishable by death!" Tak said. "How are you even still alive?"

"Oh, I offered to let her sit for 12 months and then decide if she wanted to go out with me." Purple said. "Gotta admit Red was right, I'd tap that."

"So when she refused again I wanted to go for the executions ,but like Zim said she had followers and we didn't want a martyr, so the perfect way to get rid of her is on the Gladiator world." Red said. "And also the offer is still open Skully."

"I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR ANTENNAE OFF AND USE THEN TO HANG YOU RED!" Skullene yelled.

"Gotta admit ,despite the attitude I still like her." Purple said. "Oh well, have fun on Gladiator world."

"Wait, who is this guy?" Zim looked at the vortian.

"Oh, this guy is one of the head vortian commanders who survived the conquering of the Vort home world." Red said. "Captain Shen Baron."

"Former Captain, now renegade, he was running amock causing trouble since we took vort." Purple added. "And also he took my ice cream cone from me!"

"Ah yes, I remember that day so well...I cam so close...so close." Shen sighed.

Xxx

**Seventeen Irken years ago (4 years after the conquering of Vort)**

**Vort, Irken Citadel**

"Ah, very good Admiral." Red nodded, examining the streets of the city as he, Purple, and several guards walked along.

Suddenly gun shots rang out, and Shen came rushing through the crowds. He moved with lethal grace, slamming one fist into a guard's gut and his knee into his forehead. Grabbing the second guard by the antennae, he swung him around and kicked him in the small of his back, sending him tumbling away. Spinning, he brought up his laser pistol, his eyes filled with rage.

"Vort Stiala Everfa!" The vortian shouted in Vortian, saying 'Vort stands forever', the common phrase used by the Vortian resistance.

He fired. Purple screamed and leaped into Red's arms, his ice cream cone flying into the air. "My ice cream!"

A guard caught it in one hand. "Got it my tallest!"

A second later as the vortian fired more blasts, one struck the guard in the chest and knocked him back. The cone fell from his hands and splattered on the ground.

"NO!-" Purple was cut off when a laser burned through the collar of his robe. He shouted at the fleeing vortian. "You'll pay for this! That was my favourite! Do you hear me? YOU WILL PAY!"

Xxx

"Wait, how do you know I said that if you weren't there?" Purple asked.

"Uh...internet?" Shen lied.

"Makes sense to me." Purple shrugged.

"Alright Captain Shen Baron, you're up next! Good luck...not." With that, She nwas teleported down along with Skullene, Tak, Zim, Dib, Gaz, and Skoodge.

"...five monies says Skullene kills Zim first." One drone said.

"Let Kill Zim BEGIN!" Red and Purple cackled maniacally as hundreds of thousands of contestants were dropped down to the surface.


	3. Chapter 3

Kill Zim

I own nothing

Xxx

"AH! What are we going to do?" Dib ran around in circles. "I don't wanna die! I'm too young! I'm not supposed to be here! Swollen Eye Balls, help me!"

Thoroughly annoyed, Credaran picked the child up by the head. As his legs continued to pump, Dib looked around as far as his eyes could turn. He looked at the Veniran. "Uh...ok I'm done now."

"Good, now I may actually focus on how to escape this cursed planet." Credaran looked around the forest area they had been teleported to.

"Isn't this place your home world?" Dib asked.

"No...I was not born here, my race has been stored on one of the Irken Labour worlds to labour away in their accursed sugar mines. I HATE THE DAMNED STUFF SO MUCH I'VE BECOME A VEGETARIAN! MY KIND IS MEANT TO EAT MEAT! WE ARE MEANT TO HUNT, TEAR, CLAW, SHRED!" Credaran paused as he realized he was frightening Dib by clawing at a tree, gouging out entire sections of bark. "Uh...but I'm just interested in getting off this planet now."

"So where are we?" Dib asked.

"If I am right this is the Forest of Ontoria. This place was made to honour the dead who had fallen in battle if I am right. It was before the Irkens conquered us." Credaran said.

Credaran was tall and bipedal, with cloven feet and grey, armoured scales for flesh. He looked as though he were part raptor below the waist, with legs and a tail similar to a raptor's or a vortian's (in the case of the legs), but his upper body looks like a slim human's, with three fingers and what looked like the equivalent of opposable thumbs tipped with claws. Finally his head was slightly angular and had two bright blue beady eyes and a mouth not unlike a human. Surprisingly he had hair also, which was now black and had been allowed to grow until it almost reached his shoulders, he kept it tied back and away from his face. He wore a skin tight black suit that left his arms and his feet bare.

The stun staff he had taken from the guards was inactive, deactivated by remote command.

"No weapons, no way off this planet, some idiotic Irken bringing hell fire down on all of us and worst of all I am stuck with the big headed one!" Credaran sighed.

"My head is NOT big!" Dib shouted.

"Human child, do you EVER look in a mirror?" The Veniran asked.

"What are you whining about? This is your planet! I'm going to die on an alien world!" Dib began to run in circles again only to be picked up by the head.

"In case you've forgotten, you're the alien here, and you aren't setting a good example for your people." Credaran growled. "And how do you know this 'Zim'?"

"Oh, he's my nemesis." Dib said.

"Hah! You?" Credaran scoffed.

"What, do you know him?" Dib asked as he was set down.

"No but I've heard of him, he brought down the first Operation Impending Doom, rumour has it he was responsible for the death of two previous tallest." Credaran replied, and paused.

"What is it?" Dib asked.

"Down!" Credaran shoved Dib and leaped up just before a spear buried itself into the ground.

"Missed." A deep voice growled. "Damn."

A massive alien came out of the bushes. It was humanoid and just...well...extremely big.

"A planet jacker! Why am I not surprised?" Credaran growled.

"You not little green one who messed up plan and destroyed our ship." The Planet Jacker growled.

"What does he mean?" Dib asked.

"The planet jackers fuel their sun by dumping planets into it. And apparently that Zim messed up their plan." Credaran shrugged.

"We had eyes on your planet, he messed up plan, made boss mad at us." The Planet Jacker growled.

"Wait, I remember that! The sky shifted apart and there was this star that shouldn't have been there...Zim saved us?" Dib asked. "Man, the one time he actually tries to help-"

"One of three times according to the Irken." Credaran cut him off.

"You know green one...you bring me to him." The planet jacker cracked his knuckles. "Or else."

"Sorry, I have no idea where they teleported him. Besides, I don't think I like you any more than Zim." Dib replied.

As the planet jacker advanced on Dib, he paused when Credaran stepped in his way. "Out of way little hunter man." The Venirans were known as 'Hunters' due to their covert tactics in battle. "You hunters had your glory long ago, now you just Irken pets."

"A pet I may be, but I still have my decency, and I will not let you threaten a child no matter how annoying or big headed he is." Credaran growled. "Now get lost scavenger! Your people are no better than the Irkens, feeding off of others to fuel your own existence and offering nothing in return! I swear the Meekroobians are the last truly powerful and good species left in this damned galaxy."

The Planet Jacker scoffed. "As if they care about you." He suddenly swung his fist down ,but the Veniran back flipped out of the way with amazing agility.

"And the first fight has begun between the Veniran Credaran and the Planet Jacker 'Lorak'!" A camera drone monitored the fight from above. "And Lorak misses the first hit, and Credaran goes in for the first-ooh he's got him in a mount!" The Veniran had dodged the next attack used the planet jacker's arm as support to heave himself up to the alien's shoulders where he wrapped his legs around the neck from behind and then clapped both of his hands down on the ears, discombobulating the alien. "And Lorak is in a daze! He's stumbling!"

Credaran leaped off and stood before Lorak. Growling, he looked down at the Veniran. "You fast, but not strong enough to bring me down."

"I'm not, I just wanted to make some noise." Credaran smirked before he pointed upwards behind Lorak, who turned...and saw an automated Irken Dropship dropping a squadron of ten Copy Soldiers.

"You're next on my list after Green One." Lorak turned to face Credaran...only to take a spear in his left arm. Credaran had distracted the Planet Jacket with the presence of the Copy Squad and used his own weapon against him.

Snapping the spear off and leaving the tip of it in the alien's arm, Credaran spun it in his hands and whacked Lorak across the face with it. With the Planet Jacker off balance, Credaran collected Dib into his arms and leaped up into a tree, perfectly balancing on one branch.

Lorak looked around and growled. "Will get you soon Little Hunter!" He then took a large hunting knife from his belt-the Planet Jacker had wasted no time in collecting weaponry apparently. He faced the Copy Squad as they advanced, their faces hidden by visors and their rifles in hand. The Planet Jacker leaped forward wit ha roar, and the slaughter began.

"Thanks!" Dib said.

"No problem." Credaran set Dib on the branch.

"So what do we do?" Dib asked.

"Well...if I wanted to live I'd track down the one known as Zim and dispatch him but there is no point in it." Credaran sighed.

"Why?" Dib asked, shocked.

"We will all die if the Tallest get their way. You heard their bets, they will not allow themselves to lose so much money." Credaran sighed. "And even if they allow the victor to leave, what will the point be? They will conquer all and then bring it down with their never ending cycle of decadence and neglect."

"Why do they want to kill Zim anyways? I thought he was an Invader!" Dib said.

"No little human, he is not." Credaran looked down at him. "He is the most destructive Irken to ever live, even when he was just a smeet he caused a power outage on the planet he was born on. And like I said he was indirectly responsible for the deaths of two former Tallests, including the noble Tallest Miyuki, perhaps the last truly respectable leader of this ridiculous empire. He also completely butchered any idea of Operation Impending Doom. They sent him to your planet hoping to get rid of him, but even far away he has proven to be too chaotic for the empire."

"Wow...and here I thought for all these years I was facing an elite operative of an alien monarchy looking to specifically destroy my planet...and in the end he was just some doofus." Dib sighed.

"Don't be so sure, the entire empire s afraid of him, even my people fear the days Zim spent on the planets we were kept on. We actually begged to be kept near our guards on those days." Credaran sighed. "He is definitely intelligent, but he can't be controlled. Even if he reveres the Tallest, they can't control his destructive urges."

"Um...hey, what about that Skullene woman? She looked like real leader material." Dib suggested.

Chuckling, Credaran stood up on the branch without losing his balance. "Exactly, which is why she is a threat to the current Tallest. It is not common knowledge and I only found out by talking to her personally, but Tallest Miyuki had a part in her creation. She oversaw the creation of Skullene and four other altered Irken Smeets designed with a rather...odd modification. All Irkens have an implant that automatically acknowledges their superiors by height and makes them totally obedient, but she did not have it, instead she measured them how any true soldier should: on their worth, their bravery, and their integrity."

"Wow..." Dib sat down and watched Lorak tear apart the Copy Soldiers. "So if we're going to die, what's the point of this?"

"Mindless entertainment little human, mindless entertainment. And the chance to get rid of all of the Tallest's greatest enemies." Credaran paused. "We should move this elsewhere, the planet Jacker may be clumsy but he is more than a match for an army of those cheap clones."

Xxx

"AH! THE AGONY! THE AGONY!" Carlos screamed as Skullene dragged him out of the puddle.

"You're certainly interesting, I hear your kind lives on a planet practically covered in water and you scream at the very touch of it." She said.

"Don't taunt me, I just can't stand it! And no I am not possessed by the devil damn it!" Carlos said, not noticing his tail again.

"Never heard of it...but let me guess, it is the embodiment of pure evil in your culture?" Skullene asked.

"Heh, you're smart, you really should be the leader of that Empire." Carlos said, not noticing ap air of horns had appeared on his head next.

"Um...human-"

"Just Carlos please. Or The Carlos, either one."

"You have horns on your head."

"No I don't!" Carlos slapped his hands on his head and when they came back his horns were gone.

"And you have a tail."

"Oh, you know what I'm trying to be friendly since you're the only intelligent non-human I've ever met but you are really annoying me with this." Carlos stuffed his tail back down his pants. "Man I hope nobody from Rome was watching that. So what's the plan?"

"Get off this planet and kill those two idiots like I would have if Zim hadn't stopped me." Skullene hissed.

"Isn't the point of this to kill him? And what has he done to get so many people afraid of him?"

"Quite frankly he's been the bane of those two idiots' existence. It would be fine with me if he wasn't for the deaths of two other Tallests...one of them I considered a mother." Skullene sighed.

"I don't get it, that guy doesn't strike me as something so horrible, just psychotic." Carlos asked as he looked through his pockets.

"He is," Skullene said. "Irkens are designed to obey all commands and not have emotions. He is the embodiment of arrogance, ambition, blind loyalty, and a form of stupidity mixed with insanity and a hint of ingenuity that could topple empires if he could put it to use."

"AH HA! I found it!" Carlos pulled out another flame thrower/rifle.

"Although looking at you, I would consider you the humans' version of Zim." Skullene added.

"Was that a compliment or an insult?" Carlos asked.

"Both."

"Ok...if it wasn't for the following facts I'd kill you here and now. One: You're hot. Two: You're smart. Three: Kurt is number one on my list above all other beings both human and otherwise in this or any other universe. Four: I have that odd feeling that if I do I will only be causing more trouble for both you, myself, and countless other beings both innocent and guilty of various crimes such as those two stick figured morons who keep chowing on junk food up there in their fancy ship. Seriously, how do they live on junk food twenty four hours a day? I mean I have my fill of sugar but I still have a healthy combination of all forms of food." Carlos ended his rant.

"We are designed to have perfect immune systems, fat is non-existant." Skullene said.

"Uh-huh? If you're so perfectly designed then why do you have Zim or incompetent leaders? Did somebody screw up on Zim or something? Add DNA from some crazy race or something?" Carlos asked as Skullene looked at the pond she had dragged him out of...which was the only source of water in the desert they had ended up in. "What is it?"

"Look there." She pointed down, pointing out a capsule. "A weapon's capsule, I've watched episodes of Galdiator Challenges before, these are randomly distributed...but I can see the dating on it..." Her enhanced optics spotted the date. "The date is several decades old...whatever is in it won't be an assault rifle that's for-"

"RAH!" Suddenly a large figure landed, sending the small pond splattering in all directions. Skullene avoided the water's touch, as did Carlos ,and the water did not penetrate the armour the massive Irken wore.

"ZIM! WHERE ARE YOU? I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR EYES OUT FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" The Irken roared.

"I thought fat didn't exist in the Irken race!" Carlos shouted.

"I recognize that voice...SIZZ-LOR!" Skullene shouted.

"Huh? Skullene...I came here looking for the bane of our empire and I happen upon one of our greatest traitors!" Sizz-Lor growled.

"This is no soldier Carlos-Human...he's a chef." Skullene looked to Carlos. "He was head of a dining establishment on Foodcourtia, after Zim destroyed all hopes of Operation Impending Doom he was sent there as a food service drone and escaped...twice."

"I was left alone for forty years on that planet!" Sizz-Lor roared.

"Forty? Last I checked Zim wasn't on Earth that long." Carlos blinked.

"There's a...time...warp...thing involved with the foodening." Sizz-Lor shuddered. "It is an urge for food so great it increases the gravity of Foodcourtia to such an extent that no ship can escape it for twenty years. I brought him back and intended to leave him to do the work, but he escaped at the last second and left me alone again FOR TWENTY YEARS!" He roared.

"Sounds like you aren't a very good boss." Carlos noted, leaning on his Flamethrower-which was jammed into the sand by the extended stock he had attached to it.

"He was sent there as punishment for nearly wiping out our race!" Sizz-Lor growled. "But enough of that. Skullene...hah! I'm very lucky today! I can track down Zim and get rid of him any time I want ,but the Tallest will pay me extra if I bring the second greatest traitor in our history to them!"

"Who was the worst traitor?" Carlos asked.

"Tallest Splorchamheimer." Skullene and Sizz-Lor shuddered.

"Don't think too highly of yourself Sizz-Lor, I would not allow a simple fast food Chef to bring me down." Skullene crouched, ready to fight. "If Zim managed to elude you twice this will be easy for me, I am a lot more focused."

Sizz-Lor smirked and grabbed the weapons canister. "But no where nearly destructive as he is...and now..." He opened it and brought out a small rod shaped device that extended until it was taller than him and a set of blade popped out of each end. "Time to face your judgement traitor!"

"A Vortian Ancient Combat Staff...used before the days of space travel...truly a dangerous weapon. Stay back Carlos-Human, that can take your head off or split you down the middle with one hit and it won't melt so easily!" Skullene warned Carlos.

Carlos chuckled. "Like I'll get sliced by a Chef, my grandmother can cut tougher things than this slob. And I don't need my fire to take care of him." He slid his flame thrower onto his back and then spread his hands...which turned into claws.

"How did you do that?" Sizz-Lor asked.

"Uh...Internet?" Carlos said hesitantly.

"What's that?" Sizz-Lor asked.

"My secret weapon you green skinned slug!" Carlos leaped forward and swung one claw...which struck the blade of the staff as Sizz-Lor parried the attack.

"What? That should have cut your hand off!" Sizz-Lor yelled.

"Like I said, I won't get taken out by a Chef!" Carlos grinned, his eyes a fiery red colour.

'This human is different from how Zim described them. He said they are tall but completely stupid! He is almost as tall as Skullene and seems extremely capable!' Sizz-Lor thought as he parried and struck at Carlos again and again, the boy did back flips, cart wheels, rolls, jumps, and even climed on Sizz-Lor from time to time.

"I don't see why you considered fighting! With every soldier and bounty hunter coming here you won't last the day!" Sizz-Lor taunted Carlos before he struck him in the gut with the spear, impaling him.

"Carlos-Human!" Skullene shouted.

For several moments Carlos remained still...and then looked up with an insane grin, with dagger sharp teeth and a pair of horns on his head.

"What...wha tare you? You're no human!" Sizz-Lor yelled, struggling to free his spear.

"I..." Carlos gripped the metal shaft of the spear. "Am..." He pulled at it. "THE CARLOS!" He tugged it out of Sizz-Lor's hands ,and a fire like aura spread over it as he ripped it out of his gut and he jammed it into the ground ,resulting in the sand being turned to glass and the staff being stuck.

"My staff! I'll tear you apart myself you freak!" Sizz-Lor yelled. "How can you do this? No beign should be physically capable of this except the Meekroobians!"

Xxx

Several million Meekroobians watching it were just as shocked.

"Did we enhance him?" One Meekroobian in one of the main military bases asked.

"No, this is something else. Whatever it is...I fear the Tallest attempting to kill Zim have brought many destructive forces together." The General replied. "I fear for us all."

Xxx

"And now...time to end this." Carlos leaped at Sizz-Lor, who screamed with a very high pitched voice as Carlos' fist hit it's mark...followed by his foot in the same area, and then repeated punches and kicks until the massive Irken toppled over, clutching his testicles.

"THAT'S FOR PUTTING A HOLE THROUGH MY BREAKFAST!" Carlos yelled at the downed Irken as the hole in his gut healed. "AND FOR RUINING MY FAVOURITE SHIRT!"

"You are quite different Carlos-Human." Skullene noted. "I never thought a race as puny as yours could take down Sizz-Lor."

With his demonic features vanishing entirely, Carlos shrugged. "Eh, there are special cases...oh and sorry if you wanted that staff."

"Quite alright, it was worth it to know Sizz-Lor will never breed." Skullene replied. "Now 'let's go before the Copy Soldiers arrive, they can be quite formidable in large numbers."

Xxx

"STUCK HERE AFTER TRYING TO DESTROY THE GREATEST BANE OF OUR EMPIRE!" Tak yelled to the skies. "GAH! DAMN YOU ZIM WHEN I FIND YOU I WILL RIP YOUR SQUIDLYSPLOOCH OUT THROUGH YOUR THROAT AND CUT IT UP INTO A NEW CAPE!"

"...Calm down, now." Gaz said.

"Why are you even here? You only came here to get your hands on a game the Tallests will never hand out!" Tak snarled at the human girl as they proceeded along a beach. "Now that they bet you will die they will make sure that you DO die."

"Maybe if you didn't come back whining you wouldn't be here then, now shut up and help me find my big headed dolt of a brother. He's my meal ticket and I won't sit through six months of dad tending to a test tube and making tons of noise and finally that annoying laughter he makes every time it's done." Gaz then mocked her father. "MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA IT'S ALIVE! MWA-HA-HA-HA!" She sighed. "So why do your leaders hate Zim so much? He can't do anything."

"He is the most despicable, undisciplined, and idiotic Irken to ever stain the face of our species, that's why!" Tak replied. "He kill two of the Tallest, he ruined Operation Impending Doom by killing every Invader! And just after he was born he led us to ruins by killing an entire generation of smeets and delaying three more generations in development!"

"wow...who the hell cares? You've obviously got some serious cash in those pockets, or at least those bug eyed twigs up in their stupid ship do, just make more." Gaz rolled her eyes.

Tak scoffed. "Only an idiotic human would taunt something as serious as a generation of Irkens being cut down before their prime!"

"If you ask any other human, they'd actually give a damn." Gaz said. "Me?...I'm too bored to do that, so quit your whining and let's go. Like your freak leaders said they sent down a whole lot of their copy soldiers, so unless you like sitting around and doing the following: 1: Not winning; 2: Not living; and 3: Not killing that bug eyed freak Zim then get a move on."

"Odd, last tiem we met you struck me as a rather neutral person." Tak said.

"Well there's a game on the line and I hate Zim and I hate waiting 6 months without Bloaties Pizza...and I especially hate having to change a clone's diaper." Gaz shuddered.

"Like I said, the Tallest won't give you a game when they try to kill you-" Suddenly there was a flash of light and a massive amount of water went flying into the air. Tak leaped out of the way while Gaz just stood still and let herself get hit with a little water that barely did a thing to get her wet.

"Gah...I need to find out how Zim keeps developing an immunity to that." Tak hissed.

"WHERE IS HE?" A massive humanoid alien in battle armour yelled. His gaze focused on Tak. "You're Irken...but not who I'm looking for."

"It wouldn't be about this high, red eyes, a very big ego, and have a very annoying voice ,would it?" Gaz asked.

"YES! ZIM! WHERE ARE YOU?" The alien yelled.

Sighing, Gaz looked at Tak. "Who is this weirdo?"

"Sergeant Hobo 678, one of the most talented and loyal training commanders from Hobo 13." Tak said. "He's a legend among the empire because he's trained entire legions of Irkens, even Invaders!"

"Ah, thank you, you've obviously heard of me." Hobo 678 said pleasantly. "Well if you know about me then you know that when Zim came to my training camp he killed off all of my trainees except for Skoodge during a simple squad training exercise! He used those poor souls as meat shields and eve nas a bridge!"

"Uh...you do know that they most likely got teleported out ,right? I trained there once and I got teleported out when I failed that lava gorge-" Tak started.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! He sacrificed the mall and humiliated me! To be defeated by the worst invader ever dealt a serious blow to my reputation! He shouldn't have won but he somehow did! He is a disgrace to the word 'Fighter'!" Hobo 678 growled. "And ask that Veniran guy if you ever see him, he'll agree with me, those guys are all about honour! Why I remember when I was training them once-"

"Yeah...not listening to your life story." Gaz said.

"Whatever..." Hobo 678 grumbled.

"Look, Zim is mine, that game is MINE, stay away from him or I'll plunge you into a never ending nightmare." Gaz threatened him.

"HAH! I still owe him for turning me into a garbage drone!" Tak yelled.

"IF you think I'll listen to either of you then think again! He disgraced me and he is mine!" Hobo 678 snarled. "And if either of you get in my way I'll do to you what I did to Invader Tenn when she got lippy with me after she failed her course!"

Suddenly the 'Mortal Kombat' song began to play as Gaz tensed, one eye opening visibly as she clenched her teeth. "You're...so...dead."

"Bring it one!" Hobo 678 got into a stance.

"I'll enjoy this." Tak extended her Spider Legs.

Red shouted from the camera drone. "MORTAL KOMBAT!"

They all leaped into the air, calling out their battle cries, and then collided!

Xxx

"...so...how's life?" Skoodge asked Shen Baron.

"...terrible." The Vortian replied stoically.

"Huh? Why?" Skoodge asked.

"My people are enslaved and I'm being used as Monie Bait." Shen replied without a hint of emotion in his voice as he climbed several rocks and came over the ruins of what looked like a small town. "How about you?"

"Oh, well me and my best friends are on a planet where we'll be hunted down and killed." Skoodge shrugged.

"You're friends with that psycho?" Shen raised an eye brow as he looked back at Sckoodge, a cowl consisting of what had been a blue cloak covering his lower face from the sand that was blowing.

"Oh yeah we've been friends since we were smeets! Skoodge grinned.

"you're the second from the generation Zim caused aren't you?" Shen asked.

"Yeah I guess I am." Skoodge shrugged.

Moving on, the Vortian slid down a slope, followed by the Invader. Skoodge asked as they started towards the ruins of the buildings. "So what will you do?"

"I suppose what I always do: survive." The Vortian replied. "This looks like an old stop...bet before the Tallests burned this part of the continent it used to be beautiful, the Venirans treasured their planet."

"So you're not going to kill Zim?" Skoodge asked.

"No point in it, if I do then someone will come for me, and so long as he lives and makes their lives miserable I can live with it." Shen replied as he led skoodge down a small alley between two of the buildings. "For such a perfect race it is hard to believe Zim is an Irken."

"Oh sure he gets excitable but all in all he's had the best intentions for the empire." Skoodge said.

"Really?" Shen sounded genuinely surprised. "I wouldn't know, I only hear about him destroying things."

The vortian stopped as he spotted a weapon canister in the middle of the street.

"A weapon pod! And look at the date, it's brand new!" Skoodge said.

"Hold it." Shen raised one arm to block the Invader as he made for the pod.

"What is it?"

"It's a trap." Shen's eyes narrowed under his goggles. "You see that pipe there?" He pointed to a small pipe laying in the alley.

"Yeah, why?"

"Hand it to me." Skoodge did so, and Shen tossed it, sending it arching through the air until it struck the canister, which exploded.

"A tactical weapon pod...you can rig it to detonate and destroy other contestants...somebody has been here recently, if it hadn't exploded than nobody had touched it or at least hadn't used it for ten minutes." Shen took cautious steps out.

"Impressive Vortian, perhaps your race is still useful after all!" The companions looked to the roof of a nearby building. They noticed another weapon canister, slightly older than the one they had detonated and already opened and emptied. On top of the one story building-once a storage building was an Irken of 5'4 feet in height and wearing black and green robes and combat armour, a cowl covering the lower half of his face and revealing green eyes and one missing antenna and a scar.

Skoodge gasped. "Invader Dev!"

"So the young one recognizes me, I'm flattered, but you are not who I seek." Dev replied.

"You know this one?" Shen asked Skoodge.

"Know of him? He's legend! He was also a guard at the science convention where the blob Zim developed devoured Miyuki!" Skoodge said.

"And left an everlasting impression on me when it overloaded the other experiments." Dev ran his hand up to his face and pulled his cowl down, revealing the lower half of his face was impossibly scarred and healed with mechanical implants. "You are the Invader Skoodge...others have looked down on you for your height."

"Well I can't hold a grudge for every bad thing said about me." Skoodge said with a smile.

"A positive attitude, and a vortian...you are Shen Baron, aren't you? The Pirate King of the Vortian Resistance?" Dev asked. "It is an honour...and you are on the Tallest's kill list. Each pod contains an updated one and you were added only minutes ago."

"And I guess from how you said Skoodge is not the one you seek, you are looking for Zim." Shen replied.

"Let's just say I never really got to repay him for that incident on the science station. Why he was never punished for Miyuki's death I shall never know." Dev shook his head, pulling his cowl back up.

"Hey you can't hold a grudge man! It was years ago anyways." Skoodge shrugged.

"You don't get it young one! Miyuki was more than just my leader andthe one I was to guard, she was everything to me and all those who remember the golden ages of our race before Red and Purple! If not for my loyalty to Miyuki's legacy I would have done what Skullene attempted to do and I would have succeeded!" Dev yelled.

"Instead you are now one of the greatest invaders in modern history...regardless of you being a target or not, I won't walk away without at least trying to kill you." Shen said, pushing his cloak aside.

"You don't get it Shen, Zim is number one on my list and the sooner he is gone the better for everybody on this planet. Nay, in this universe!" Dev replied, leaping down and landing on his feet like a cat.

"It is not a matter of your personal preferences Invader Dev...I know you led the final charge against my people...I know it is because of you my people are slaves...this is personal for me. I guarantee you now, the years my people have suffered at the Irken Empire's hands will be repaid when I rip that PAK off of you and crush it under my foot." Even when obviously enraged shen displayed no emotion. "Do you remember the Vortian Admiral Shala Baron?"

"Ah yes...your sister." Dev smirked. "an honourable warrior and another everlasting memory on me." He pulled up his left sleeve, revealing his entire arm was metal skeletal prosthetic combat implant.

"Well get ready, because I'll leave mine and finish what she started." Shen tossed his cloak aside, revealing a small scar near his mouth and then took off his goggles and pocketed them, revealing blood shot eyes with black circles under them.

"When was the last time you slept?" skoodge asked.

"For me...I stopped sleeping the moment Vort became an Irken controlled world." Shen picked up another piece of piping. "Not my idea of a weapon...but it shall do for now." He looked at Dev. "Alright then Invader Dev...do it...either make me feel like the old Captain Baron or put me in the dirt with my sister, I don't care." He looked to Skoodge. "Hide, I'll deal with this one."

The Invader crouched in the alley.

Shen leaped forward without another word and swung his pipe down. Dev revealed a set of four knives in belts attached to his upper body. Drawing two, he met Shen, and their respective weapons clashed.

"So be it Captain Baron, let me even the playing field though, I would hate to kill such an opponent with the odds entirely in my favour!" On that last word he cut the pipe apart and leaped back. He tossed his two daggers at Shen, who caught them. Drawing his last two, Dev circled Shen, who got into a half crouch.

"Prepare to join your sister, I assure you that you shall not miss her for long." Dev said coolly.

"I shall greet her gladly when my time comes...the question is if you shall see the Tallest Miyuki after I kill you here." Shen replied just as coldly.

Their blades met again.

Xxx

Zim growled as he stomped along a path in a forest. "To prove my worth to the Tallest I have to survive in a land of mediocre warriors for eight months! DAMN IT ZIM HAS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! My mission not the Tallest takes PRIORITY MAY TALLEST SPLORCHAMHEIMER DAMN IT ALL!"

He paused as he came upon a valley. He scanned it with his optics. "Nobody...gladiator fights already started and nobody is here? How lazy-"

"HI MASTAH!" Gir suddenly appeared in Zim's view.

"AH!" Zim fell over as Gir tackled him. "GIR! How did you get here?"

"I was in the bat hroom taking a potty...and I guess I fell in." Gir said shamefully.

"Ok, ew!" Zim forced him off. "Gir, self cleansing mode, now!"

"Yes my master!" Gir said before a green light covered him. "All contaminants removed from unit!"

"Good!" Zim groaned. "Now let's go, we need to find a place to hold out while the competition kills itself off trying to find me. They'll never figure out this is where I'm hiding-" Zim paused as he saw a figure...an Irken in a regular uniform, shorter than him at the bottom of the slope entering the trees. "What the- looks like we have company!"

"I don't see anyone." Gir said, his head twisting round and round.

"He's right there!" Zim pointed down to where the Irken was slowly entering the tree line and vanished from view. "Hey! You! Come back here!"

He slid down the slope and rushed into the trees. "Hey, come back! I just want to interrogate you and then leave your corpse to rot in a river!"

He came out of the trees and came upon a structure...which unlike all the others was relatively intact. "A base? This is a world where gladiators fight it out in the remnants of a war torn world that as usual was crushed under our might, not a military world! Why does this base look so new? HELLO? Anybody? ANSWER ZIM!"

"Heehee..." Gir paused and went into Defence Mode.

"Gir?"

"Walk...forward." Gir started marching forward.

There was a flash and then the Irken was there ,and then he was gone in another flash.

"Don't order me! Let's go." Zim paused when his robot did not react. "GIR! I said let's go! That's an order!"

Gir paused . "Look inside."

Flash! The Irken stood before a much taller Irken clad in red and black armour. This tall Irken was incredibly built and held a massive assault rifle.

"We don't have time to look in some useless structure Gir, we have to go!" Zim snapped.

FLASH!

"Ah! Computer, analyze memory banks!" Zim groaned.

"**Scanning.**" The Computer in Zim's PAK said. ""**Unknown memory files located. Files downloaded into pack."**

"What? You can't download into a PAK! Unless..." Zim paused as he looked at the base. "This base has my genetic code in its memory banks!"

"**Possibility of former Irken Soldier with your DNA having used it. All former Irken Elite soldiers were permitted to pass on DNA to create further generations of Irkens." **His computer said.

"Why here? The Irkens never used this as a cloning planet." Zim said.

"**Base design is old, relied heavily on basic DNA Scanning, became obsolete once Veniran Covert Ops breached Irken Scanning Technology. Was replaced with new defence system for modern bases and ships."**

"Maybe it has something I can use."

"**Not recommended, technology possibly five hundred years old or even more. Possibility of data corruption or malfunctioning security systems."**

"Yeah, whatever, this base has my DNA somewhere in it." Zim said. "Might as well see what proud Irken soldier I can call my genetic ancestor." He strolled up to the doors. "Open!"

"Welcome Soldier Ess." The base AI was cut off with static, and only said 'Ess'.

"Ess..." Zim said as the doors opened. "Computer, search Irken name 'Ess'. E-S-S around five hundred years ago when the Irken Occupation began."

"**Scanning...seventy four thousand-eight hundred-twelve results. Will process DNA archives for more accurate results."**

"Look for Genetic DNA matches with mine." Zim ordered as he passed into an air lock. The door closed behind him, and the room lit up.

"Stand by Soldier Ess," Once again the AI was cut off by static. "Data Corruption, Identification lost...defragmentation initiated...defragmentation ineffective, will acknowledge soldier s S-469334." The AI said.

"Computer ,search for Irken Drone S-469334." Zim said.

"**Data corruption in one file.**" The Computer replied.

"Data corruption in my own PAK?" Zim gasped as the room scanned him and removed contaminants from him. "Impossible."

"**Data corruption result of cyber warfare attack dated back...26.3 Irk Cycles ago.**" The Computer toned.

"That was a year before I was born! What irresponsible nitwit was using Soldier Ess' PAK so shamefully?" Zim snarled before he stomped out of the air lock.

"OOH! IT SO COLD! Gir squealed as the system still sprayed him to decontaminate him.

"Gir! You're back to normal...that's it I need to hook into the system." Zim said. "Computer, open all files in this base's archives."

"**Cannot comply, archives locked to remote access under order 6345-D, Base commander saw fit to disconnect all outward connections except direct Command Access." **His computer said.

"Splorchamheimer damn it! Where is the Command Access Node?" Zim demanded.

"Heehee...Splorch." Gir giggled.

"Vocie command recognized, base lock down will end in three minutes." The AI said.

"Splorch? That is the pass word? But that's the beginning name for Splorchamheimer!" Zim said. "Who was the commander of this base?"

"**Cannot confirm, all personnel data corrupted, cannot compare to onboard Archives."**

"Does anything about this base actually work?" Zim growled as he stomped down the hall and onto a teleporter pad. "Computer, take me to the command office!"

"Voice command authorized, please wait a moment for automated systems maintenance, this system has not been in use for...536 Irk Cycles." The AI said.

"That time...it was before the occupation...just a year or so before it." Zim said. "What was the purpose of this base?"

"This base was used as a command post for Splor Forces on this planet, all further data is restricted and guarded by password authorization." The AI replied.

"Splor Forces...computer-" Zim was cut off when he vanished in a beam of light and appeared o nthe other end of the base in a room outside the command room, there was a desk where a secretary must have sat at one point. "Check for 'Splor forces'."

"**Scanning...Splor forces mentioned in only one file, cannot access, restricted to code Miyuki access."**

"Code Miyuki access...that code was deleted after Miyuki passed away!"

"**Negative, code was repurposed. File can only be viewed with permission of current Tallest."**

"Why would the Tallest lock down a file on an onboard archive?" Zim wondered before he tapped something with his foot and looked down...and saw the rotting corpse of an Irken Soldier in vastly outdated armour. "AH!"

He leaped up and gripped the ceiling, his fingers digging in.

"WEE HEE!" Gir gripped him. "This is fun!"

"What is this?" Zim leaped down and looked at the various corpses in the room, all of them Irken, some wearing the red and black of the Irken Army and others wearing Gold and Black armour. "This is a slaughter! Computer, what happened here?"

"Security Archives inaccessible, protected by password authorization. Pause...this computer has noted that its service has been below satisfactory standards, if you wish you may save a copy of these files to your onboard archives until you can access them with a pass word. Tallest Spalan may be able to give permission."

"Spalan was the other Tallest alongside Splorchamheimer," Zim noted. "Computer, access all files related to my previous questions concerning this base, the Tallest, and have them ready for transfer to my PAK as soon as I'm connected."

Marching into the office, he was it had a desk with command ports in it for coordinating nearby infantry units. It also had an old Irken blade hung up on the wall, but it was rusted away now.

Heading over to the desk, Zim slid over it and took a seat. "Accessing Command Node." He connected his PAK to the desk via a cable, and then screamed as multiple files were transferred to him.

"Accessing...Tallest spalan directives...Base directive...Splorchamheimer directives...Corrupted files removed. Please enjoy your stay at Outpost Splor Alpha."

"Yeah, I'll try." Zim grumbled as he tore his PAK free once the connection was done.

He groaned ,falling out of the chair and gripping his head. "Computer...what is happening?"

"**Memory files integrating to data base...unauthorized files set aside for later access." **

Zim groaned again as pain shot through him. "AH!

As he screamed, the AI noted that the current user was in distress-for whatever reason and immediately activated one of the few remaining systems left...its homing beacon.

Immediately hundreds of thousands of competitors became aware of it.

Xxx

"Huh? What's going on Skullene?" Carlos asked as they paused in the process of beating up a pair of competitors who tried to jump them.

"An Irken homing beacon." Dropping her unconscious foe, Skullene examined a screen her PAK displayed. "Impossible, this is not an occupied military world. Computer, DNA code scanner, identify origin and the Irken who activated it."

"**Scanning...unknown Irken outpost, 831 miles north west...Irken...Ess."**The computer said.

"Ess...never heard of him. And this signal must be old." Skullene noted.

Xxx

Shen and Dev stood across from eachother, bleeding from wounds when their respective electronic equipment alerted them to the signal as did Skoodge's PAK.

"Hm...unidentified Irken military homing beacon...Irken Ess? I have to put this on hold, this Irken Ess would not be on this planet if he had a homing beacon, my first priority is to keep my fellow Irken soldiers safe." Dev sheathed his knives. "Keep the knives."

Dev vanished into an alley.

Xxx

678 sent Rak flying back, and paused as his gauntlet beeped. "An Irken homing beacon...on Gladiator World? What is this?"

"What is he talking about?" Gaz asked Tak, getting to her feet and wiping some blood off her chin. She had given 678 a few bruises despite his muscles and talents.

"He's right, there's an Irken military base sending out a homing beacon! But there were never any official bases constructed, after the occupation and cleansing the entire military garrison was pulled out!" Tak said.

"Hm...sounds serious...I'll cut this short for now, later ladies!" 678 ran off.

Growling, Gaz looked at Tak. "Alright, I say we follow him."

"Why should it be your concern? I thought you were going to kill Zim for the game." Tak sneered.

"Think you idiot. If we received it, then Zim sure as hell did and he's the most whipped Irken ever. If he hears that there are Irkens in trouble that he isn't supposed to kill then where do you think he will go?" Gaz reasoned.

"Good point, let's go!" Tak said before they took off in a rush.

Xxx

Credaran examined the PAK of the Irken he had pinned to the tree while Dib looked at the knife he had taken from it. "What is this?"

"Gah...uh...military...distress...call..." The Irken wheezed.

"Ah, good...lead us there, where it is others shall also go and we may possibly be able to find a ship if it is a military beacon." Credaran set the Irken on its feet and fumbled wit hit's PAK. "I disabled your offensive options so don't get smart with me."

Sniffling , the Irken led them along.

Xxx

End of chapter

Don't worry, it won't be all serious from this point on...and a lot of the plot won't be revealed for a bit...but I have one hell of a surprise for you all.

Oh, and chapter four will have 50 percent more Carlos.

Carlos: Yayz! ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

Kill Zim

I own nothing, and I'm glad to see that Zimsmostloyalservant is not the only person reading this.

Zim: Hah! Truly humanity loves me!

Oh shut up Zim.

Zim: I don't have to take this abuse! I'm leaving-

Oh really? I'll give you a candy cane if you stay.

Zim: You can't bribe me with- (I hold up a massive candy cane) wha-what? (I hold up a 50 gallon jug of soda next)...ok you win. (takes them and chows down.)

Good...oh and I lied, this chapter will have 50 percent less Carlos.

Carlos: you lying son of a-!

Moving on!

Xxx

"Ow...! THIS STUPID THING SHOCKED ME! COMPUTER, GIVE ME MY DAMN LASERS!" Zim yelled. "This thing shall know the wrath of ZIM!"

"**Activating Offensive Armaments." **A second later one spider leg popped out of his PAK, and morphed its tip into a small blaster that punched a hole through the desk.

"User alert, weapons fire detected in office," The AI said, increasing the level of urgency in the distress beacon. "Distress beacon active, please wait for Splor reinforcements."

"Distress beacon? That will compromise my position...and when did I get a laser installed in my PAK and how did my leg just turn into one?" Zim looked at his laser tipped spider leg.

"Shiny...HAHAHAHAH!" Gir started laughing randomly.

"Gir ,we have no time for this, we must-" Zim paused when he heard banging on the metal ceiling. "AH! IT'S TAK AND SHE'S HERE TO KILL ME!" He started firing his new laser into the ceiling repeatedly until a part of it collapsed, and a certain floating moose fell with it.

"SQUEAK!"

"Minimoose! You scared the florp out of me!" Zim said.

"Squeak?"

"I don't know how I got this, I just do!" Zim waved his laser around.

"Squeak!"

"Oh fine, I'll stop waving it around." Zim sighed. "Computer, status of PAK, when was this armament installed?"

"**Current weapon systems inadequate, upgrade in progress." **The computer in his PAK displayed a list of armamanets over his optics.

"What? Neutron disruptors...close range combat energy weaponry? Personal shielding...enhanced nanobot regeneration systems...amazing." Zim said. "IS this coming from the files I absorbed?"

"**Affirmative, current system inadequate, upgrade in progress. Subspace communication systems installed."**

"A communicator installed right into the PAK that has the same range as the system in my base? No PAK is that advanced, that is over seventy thousand light years to the nearest comm. buoy near Earth...how is this possible?" Zim asked. "Computer, display new data relevant to new upgrades."

The computer showed him six of the new and currently functioning upgrades installed into his PAK. The Neutron disruptor beam, the energy blade, the enhanced regeneration, the personal shielding, the Comm device, and another one.

"Combat boost...enhances reaction time, speed, strength ,and durability for a short amount of time..."

"**Warning, current PAK inadequate for constant use, all upgrades will only be able to operate for brief periods of time before recharging." **The computer toned.

"So I'll be limited in how much I can use them in a fight then...still this is beyond most Irkens, even the Invaders." Zim said. "Energy blade!"

Suddenly a part of his PAK extended over his right shoulder and then extended down his right arm and formed a gauntlet. From that sprang a single blue energy blade. Looking it over, Zim cut through the door to the office and watched as it fell. He snickered. "Oh I am so going to love this...computer...are there any other upgrades?"

"**Further combat upgrades inaccessible, protected by pass word security lock. Recommend acquiring pass codes to activate upgrade installation."**

"So I'll need to find a way to upgrade myself...this is too much fo a chance to pass up, it may help me survive this man hunt." Zim said.

"**Warning, multiple enemies converging, multiple vectors.**"

"The super scan works just as well as my base's sensors now! Amazing!" Zim said as he made a holographic screen appear over his eyes. "This is letting me see for five hundred feet!"

"Uh...AH!" Gir randomly screamed and then pulled out a taco. "This calls for a taco!" He ate it. "...I miss my taco."

"Hm...we have a choice Gir ,do we run away or face these enemies?" Zim asked.

"Squeak!" Minimoose suddenly made a pair of cannons pop out of his sides.

"You are right Minimoose...both!" Zim said. "We'll show them to mess with Zim but we shall be smart about it."

"**Jet pack option available."** The computer added.

"The upgrades get better and better!**" **Zim cackled. "Let's go!"

He activated his laser and aimed upwards.

Xxx

"The Irken beacon was coming from this area." An Irken Invader said, sweeping the area with a laser carbine. It was a standard Irken Infantry model, reliable and able to carry 160 accurate shots. He peered through the scope, looking at the base.

"Be careful," one of his two companions said, watching the base with his optics. "This looks a little fishy-"

"ACTIVATE DISRUPTOR BEAM!"

"What the-?" Suddenly the top of the base was blown off entirely, and as the trio of Invaders watched, a slow cackling built into maniacal laughter.

"Activate Jetpack!" Suddenly a shape shot up out of the base, a jet pack holding him up and slowing down his descent.

He landed on his feet, and looked at the Irkens with red eyes. "Already the copy troops have found me?"

"We aren't copy troops you worthless slug, we're Invaders and we're going to bring your head to the Tallest!" The pointman raised his carbine.

"You? Invaders! Ha! Don't make me puke my squidlysplooch out." Zim cackled. "You are a joke! That weapon is a joke...and its stupid and small! This is a real weapon." Suddenly his blade hissed to life.

"Holy Splorchamheimer!" The pointman screamed. "What is that?"

"Forget it, just take him!" All three invaders activated their Spider Legs and fired on Zim.

"Shield on!" Zim got into a crouch, and a small dome of energy covered him, reflecting over three dozen energy shots before the Irkens paused in their volley. After ten seconds of use the shield vanished, and Zim stood, looking at his gauntlet. "What a waste of my time. And now I can't even use that for ten more minutes...oh well, I won't need one to deal with you."

He leaped forward. "COMBAT BOOST!" Suddenly his PAK and eyes glowed extremely bright and he crossed the distance between him and the invaders in seconds.

"What the-? AH!" One Invader's spider legs were cut and he hit the ground. As Zim swung the blade down, he rolled aside. Zim swung again and cut the pointman's carbine in half down the middle.

"Prepare to meet the wrath of the almighty ZIM!" Zim cackled before he finally got a hit in and decapitated one Invader entirely with a stroke of his blade.

Xxx

"What is that?" Dib asked, pointing to a pillar of smoke in the distance.

"The source of the homing beacon," Their prisoner whispered.

"You are free to go." Credaran said.

"Really?" the Invader looked hopeful.

"...no." Credaran snapped his neck.

"Dude, you just said he could go!" Dib said.

"And his kind has lied and murdered for millennia, I do not care to make promises to them." Credaran replied. "I am certain if you saw your race reduced to being animals and pets for them also you would have a similar perspective."

Unable to argue with that, Dib followed the Alien down the slope and through a shallow river that went up to his waist.

Xxx

"This is the source Carlos-Human, that smoke is where the Beacon is...and I have to admit you run pretty fast for a human, are you certain the Big Headed one's accusation of demonic possession was incorrect?" Skullene asked.

"For the fifth time I am not possessed by the devil! That holy water burned because uh...it was...very hot! Yes, it was very hot and it hurt!" Carlos lied as they walked along.

Xxx

"Dear tallest Splorchamheimer!" Tak screamed as she, Gaz, and Sergeant Hobo 678 arrived a tthe source of the beacon, and found three bisected or decapitated bodies of Irken invaders and remnants of their weapons around.

"What happened to these guys?" Gaz asked casually, not fazed by the corpses.

"Whatever did it, it had to be very powerful...and very hot, these wounds are cauterized entirely." Hobo 678 said as he examined the bodies.

"Wait...only two weapons are here...if I'm correct this is an automatic rifle, this is a precision carbine...and this one here was executed with a shot to the head." Tak examined the body of the least damaged Irken Invader. "I'll upload some of his memories, if he hasn't been dead for too long he'll still retain them." As she crouched, she heard a shout.

"TAK!" She looked up.

"Skoodge!"

"Shen we have to stay away from her, she's a psycho!" Skoodge said to his vortian companion, who had donned his goggles and cowl long ago.

"I do not fear her...but I might be concerned as to what killed these soldiers." Shen Baron noted, staring at the bodies.

"Whoever did it took one of their weapons...and his spare power cells." Hobo 678 lifted an ammunition pouch that was empty. "Precision Carbine Model 43, real deadly at medium to close range and can knock a hole through you even if you're a little too far away, perfect for hunting in this territory."

"The base is also damaged...I wonder what could have done that." Shen said.

"Whatever did it destroyed the beacon also." Tak said before standing. "And I have it!"

The group spun as something large landed between the two groups, shaking the ground. The massive Irken roared. "ZIM!"

"Who is that?" Skoodge gasped.

"Sizz-Lor, the head chef of Foodcourtia!" Tak stood.

"Ah, I remember him, would have made a damn good soldier, but he went for cooking instead." 678 shook his head. "What do you want Sizz-Lor?"

"I want that midget, Zim!" Sizz-Lor hissed.

"You know he's not too short anymore, right?" Gaz pointed out.

"Whatever, where is he?" Sizz-Lor growled.

"We were wondering that ourselves. With the beacon gone he might not be interested in coming- oh dear Splorchamheimer." Tak looked up from her gauntlet where she had been examining the memory files. "ZIM!"

"WHERE?" Most of the aliens drew their weapons.

"No, he did this!" Tak held her gauntlet up. "MIMI! Project!" Her repaired SIR unit leaped out of her pack and projected the files of Zim destroying the base's roof and using a jet pack, a personal shield, and some sort of energy blade.

After the other two invaders were dead, Zim stood over the last survivor, who was missing both of his legs below the knees. He picked up the carbine and set on foot on the Invader's neck.

"You...defect...I'll see you burn..." The invader wheezed.

Zim chuckled. "If I'm the defect than what are you?" He aimed the carbine between the Invader's eyes. "Worse than dirt, you don't deserve to be an Invader either way. And now I win." He pulled the trigger, and the Invader's face was blown open.

"Ouch, death by PCM43 at point blank range." 678 shuddered.

"That can't be Zim! He's..he...he's bad ass in this! He's a pathetic shrimp with an over inflated ego!" Sizz-Lor said.

"Well it is him, there's no faking this." Tak said.

"Indeed FOOLS!" Suddenly a shape leaped out of the trees, a carbine strapped to its back and an evil grin on his face. "I am ZIM!"

"You!" Sizz-Lor hissed.

"Sizz-Lor? I told you, I QUIT being a food drone FOR YOU!" Zim roared.

"You were sent to me as a punishment Zim! And I don't want you back, I want you dead!" Sizz-Lor roared, revealing a massive energy automatic turret-the irken was strong enough to hold and fire it in both hands apparently.

"Go back to your precious counter Sizz-Lor; go back to your disgusting, under cleaned kitchen of DOOM!" Zim yelled. "I don't have time to play with you! I have a new mission for the next eight months!"

"Your mission is this, for the love of Apocalyptic, die!" Sizz-Lor opened fire with his massive energy gun, which looked like an old earth gatling gun.

"Stupid Chef...activate Disruptors!" With his Jet Pack, blade, and shield still recharging Zim revealed two of his blaster tipped spider legs and began to exchange fire with Sizz-Lor. "I've had enough of your fat, bloated, ugly face!"

Sizz-Lor gasped. "My mom said I'm just big boned! That's it, DIE!"

The two began to pepper the area with energy as the spectators took cover. Tak growled and leaped from cover. "Zim's mine you wannabe soldier!"

"No, he's mine!" As Tak leaped on him, Sizz-Lor sent her flying easily, but she landed on her feet and swung a round house kick at Zim, who leaped away from it and hung himself from a tree by his other two Spider legs ,still firing blasts with two of his legs.

"This is a sad display! A garbage drone and a terrible chef trying to be a soldier!" Zim cackled. "Bow before the awesomeness of ZIM!"

"Get down!" Shen pushed Skoodge into cover and then leaped up to avoid being torn apart by Sizz-Lor's fire.

When Sizz-Lor's gun overheated, he tossed it away. He drew a large blade next and leaped forwards. Shen watched from a high tree branch.

"Something is different...those weapons, the ones he used in the recording, no Invader has them, not even the Tallest have them!" The Vortian whispered. "But how?" He looked to the base. "He came out of there...maybe the answer is there."

As the fight continued, the Vortian began to sneak around the fight.

"INVADER ZIM!" The trio stopped for a moment and looked up before Invader Dev landed in their midst.

Zim scoffed, his arms crossed. "Who are you and why should I care?"

"I am Invader Dev, former guardian of Tallest Miyuki, and I am here to avenge her unlawful murder!" Dev revealed a staff that extended fro ma small handle into a spear tipped with an energy blade.

"Murder? I may have made the blob but I didn't intend for it to eat her and I sure as hell didn't set the Infinite Energy Generator right next to it!" Zim said. "Blame Invader Olark! He's the smeet who put it right there after I warned him not to!"

Xxx

Several decades ago...

"Olark, whatever you do, don't put that near my Blob, it'll set it off faster than the Massive fries planets." Zim said.

"Yeah ,sure, whatever." Olark, who was taller and more arrogant, said he ignored Zim. "Ok boys put it right next to the shrimp's little blob thing."

"Presenting Tallest Miyuki!" Invader Dev said as he entered the room with another guard. Moments later the beautiful blue eyed Tallest stepped into the room, a smile on her face as she waved to the crowd.

"Oh boy." Zim said. "I can just tell this won't end well...oh well, I'm Zim, I'm pretty sure I'll figure a way out to solve it."

Xxx

"And I was right! It didn't end well and I got blamed for it!" Zim said.

"That's how it happened?" Tak and Sizz-Lor asked at the same time.

"YES! Now shut up and watch me hand Sizz-Lor's fat bloated ass to him!" Zim growled.

"Hey! My butt is not big!" Sizz-Lor objected.

"And your fight is with me first Zim, I don't care if it was you, Olark, or both of you, you created that blob and it killed Miyuki...and Olark actually-"

"He deserved it!" Zim cut him off with a shout.

"So I'll just take your skull as compensation." Dev spun his staff in one hand.

"Ha! I don't plan on being killed by a lap dog by you! Get over yourself, Tallest die from time to time, its war." Zim said.

"We were in peace time you idiot ,the first ten years of peace out of fifty six thousand years of war!" Tak smacked herself on the forehead.

"Coming from a garbage drone?" Zim scoffed. "I am Zim! Shut up!"

"I-" Tak started.

"Shut up!"

"You-"

"Shut up!" Zim looked to his armaments and found his jetpack had recharged with his shield and blade not far behind it. "I am done talking! Quite frankly Tak if you want to be an Invader than take the damn test! It's been 42 years, meaning you had six chances to do it! You can't be an Invader if you whine about everything!"

"Uh...I thought you guys were in your twenties or something." Shen said.

"There's a uh...time warp thing involved-DON'T TRY TO DISTRACT ME!" Zim shouted. "YOU ALL DIE NOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

His legs extended, but at this point they noticed they were different. Instead of being fragile and pink, they were silver and looked stronger.

Upon scanning them, Skoodge confirmed their material...adamantium. "Uh oh."

"What is it?" Shen looked at Skoodge.

"Adamantium legs." Skoodge gulped. "This won't end well."

Gaz did not even flinch when Zim swung his now longer and stronger spider legs, cutting down several trees near him. Gaz casually ducked under it and walked towards Zim, who repeatedly tried to attack her. As she got closer ,she began to move faster, dodging and ducking and leaping.

"Damn..that human is either brave or stupid." Skoodge said.

"The game is mine!" Gaz hissed.

"SHIELD!" Just in time! Zim activated his shield and blocked Gaz's fists as she rained down blows on it.

'I have ten seconds to figure out how to get out...jetpack! Of course!' Zim smirked and deactivated the shield. "JETPACK!" His jetpack shot to life as his legs retracted and he shot up and out of the way of Gaz's fists. He flew up and landed on the edge of the base's roof. "Nice try human! But the almighty Zim is now far beyond anything you could ever possibly imagine."

"You still talk too much." Dev, who was already behind Zim said as he swung his energy spear.

"Blade!" Zim activated his energy blade and countered it, and then jabbed forward, making Dev back up. "Too slow Dev!"

"I liked you better when you used to kiss everybody's ass if they were taller than you." Dev smirked.

"I liked you better when I didn't know you at all." Zim replied, parrying a stab from Dev's spear and batted it away with another swing of his blade. "Go back to being a lap dog for our leaders, I might just spare you if you do!"

"I have conquered trillions on my own Zim, I have defeated armies and I won't-" Dev's spear clamnged off Zim's armoured gauntlet. "Be!" Zim knocked his spear aside again and swung, but Dev's spear was made of a material strong enough to handle the energy blade, so it bounced back. "Beaten by!" Dev stabbed forward and Zim back flipped out of range. "A tiny!" He swung downwards, and Zim parried it again and jabbed twice, forcing Dev back. "Pathetic!" He swung the spear around and hit Zim in the side of the head. "Food drone!"

Zim fell on his side, his blade vanishing.

"Now die, for the honour of Tallest Miyuki!" Dev jabbed the spear downward..but Zim caught it, his hand right below where the blade came out of it.

Zim slowly looked up, his eyes now longer filled with arrogance, but he still had a smirk on his face. "Now who talks too much?" He didn't sound like...well...Zim, he sounded far too calm, too focused...and usually Zim never thought to follow up on an attack. He tugged the Invader forward and slammed one foot into his chest, knocking him back and making him drop his spear, which Zim caught and spun so fast in his hands that it became a blur of light.

"What the-?" Dev backed away as Zim advanced and swung his new spear, cutting Dev's synthetic arm a bit.

"What's wrong? Scared of the little food drone?" Zim then entirely cut off the synthetic arm below the elbow.

"My arm!" Dev backed up and drew a small, compact laser pistol.

"Is it even worth it to fight a whiner like you?" Zim sneered, not in his usual way of saying his amazing he was, but in a way that made it clear of how he thought of Dev and that he was breaking Dev's emotional barriers and professional integrity bit by bit. "So what if I cut off your other arm? Will you cry to Tallest Miyuki? Did she tuck you into bed at night? Did she read you a bed time story?"

Dev was shaking with anger, hissing. "You..."

"Aw...are you getting angry now?" Zim tilted his head, an innocent smile on his face. "Can't find a female on Consortia to soothe your pain?"

Roaring, Dev leaped forward and knocked the spear aside and out of Zim's grasp, but Zim kept laughing even when the pistol was jammed into his gut.

"I can just see Tallest Miyuki at this! What a poor sight, you're a shadow of what you used to be!" Zim scoffed. "And to think as a Smeet I actually had respect for you." Suddenly he brought his knee up...right into Dev's groin.

Doubling over, Dev groaned. Zim sneered as he picked up the gun. "Scared yet little body guard?"

"He may be, but I'm not." Zim paused as he felt a blade touch the tip of his neck. He slowly turned and saw Skullene. "Finally, somebody worth fighting. Unlike him you don't whine every ten seconds."

"Something's different about you Zim...I don't hold you responsible for what happened to my mother but I won't let you walk away." Skullene swung her sword.

Zim rolled out of the way and came up in a crouch. "Are we even allowed to think of somebody as a family? Last I remember our society looks down on emotions." He stood up, and holstered his new gun, which had a full charge of 80 rounds, quite small compared to the average Irken hand gun.

"She may as well have been my mother; she all but gave birth to me." Skullene said.

"Don't think tha tentitles you to special treatment."

"I never ask for such a privilege." She put one foot under the spear Zim had dropped and sent it up into the air where Zim caught it. "And I don't ask for an unfair fight either."

"Maybe I'll actually have fun this time." Zim smirked. "Access Code-"

He was cut off by a brief whistle. "Hey midget!"

Zim turned. "What?" He found himself face with the tip of an Irken rifle with an under slung launcher attached to it...held by a grinning Carlos.

"Sorry little green dude, nothing personal." He fired a single concussive round and sent Zim flying off of the roof, over the astounded spectators and into the trees. "And Zim is going, going...GONE!" The boy hopped into the air, cheering. "The plan worked! I'm the best! I'm the-" He was cut off by a disruptor blast from the trees that sent him flying off the roof. "WEEEEEEEE!-Ow." He hit the ground.

"Teaming up with a human against me Skullene? I thought you weren't into unfair fights." Zim said.

"In war there isn't a fair fight, and you had the energy spear anyways." Skullene held up her plain, old, Irken blade.

"Excuses, excuses, excuses, everybody has one to carry out their grudges." Zim sneered as he came into view.

"I don't have a grudge against you Zim, in fact I slightly respect you for all you've done to the empire...except for killing Miyuki. Again, no grudge, but I'll still do all I can to kill you." Skullene said before she leaped down from the roof.

"I'm ok!" Carlos called.

"COMBAT BOOST!" Zim roared, and then rushed forward, sending Sizz-Lor and 678 flying when they got in his way. He pushed Skoodge and Gaz aside next and swung a fist at Skullene, who cart wheeled out of the way and let his fist smash a hole in the wall.

"Whatever technology could give him that strength?" Skullene asked.

"Psst!" As Zim was getting up, a voice came to Skullene from another hole in the building. Looking up, she saw Shen, who signalled for her to be quiet and not reveal him. She looked back at Zim as he faced her, his combat boost still in effect.

"Let's try that again." He lunged forward and began to swing his Spider Legs at her. She began to dodge or counter them.

One leg cut through her side and she grunted, clenching her teeth as she fell to one knee, one hand over the wound. She glared up at Zim, who advanced on her.

"CARLOS-HUMAN! NOW!" Shen yelled.

"YOU GOT IT!" Carlos suddenly slammed into Zim and pinned him to a wall.

"Release me you pathetic primate!" Zim growled, struggling, his spider legs pinned against him. Carlos ignored his attempts to break free as Shen leaped down, a small device tipped with three prongs in hand. He jammed it into Zim's side, and the Irken roared in pain and frustration as he was shocked by the centuries old Irken Tazer.

Zim went limp in Carlos' grasp. For several moments there was silence as the group processed what happened.

"So...what do we do with him?" Carlos asked.

"I say we kill him!" Sizz-Lor yelled.

"Shut up Sis-Laura or I'll crush your balls again." Carlos threatened.

"AYE!" Something leaped on Carlos' head while a moose began to float down, firing on the group, which scattered.

"AH! What the hell?" Carlos began to hit his head on the wall. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! GET OFF!"

"WEEEEEEE HEHEHE!" Gir squealed.

Suddenly Zim's eyes snapped open. "GREAT SPLORCHANHEIMER THEY'RE ALL COMING TO KILL ME!"

The scene dissolved into a rabble of screams, gun fire, laughter, and explosions.

Dib and Credaran arrived just in time to witness the fight.

"...STOP!" Credaran's voice was so loud it made them all freeze and look at him. "Are you all insane? There's an entire ship full of copy soldiers coming right this way and you're here beating the Caragash out of one another!" Dib assumed 'caragash' was a word for 'crap' or some other curse word.

"Copy soldiers?" 678 looked up from where he was strangling Sizz-Lor, who had a knife ready to plunge into the Sergeant's heart.

"Ship?" Tak asked, struggling to get Shen off of her while the vortian tried to force Gir off of his head-Gir had switched from Carlos to Shen during the fight.

"This way?" Zim cried out from where he was trying to keep Skullene from cutting his throat from behind. She had one arm around his neck and was trying to position a knife Shen dropped to cut him wide open, but he kept her hand away with both of his own hands.

"CARLOS!" Carlos grinned as he yelled out his name.

They all stared at the human boy before an Irken ship took position over the base. They looked up as Copy Soldiers began to drop down on lines. There were dozens of them.

"...SHOOT FROM THE HIP!" Carlos shouted, raising his flame thrower and firing on them.

All of the fighters got to their feet and focused their attention on their new enemies. Copy soldiers fired rifles and pistols at them, some of them drawing blades and charging straight at them.

"GIR! GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOW!" Zim's jet pack could carry him for up to thirty seconds, but if GIR didn't replace his fuel lines with paste again he could carry Zim a few dozen miles.

"Yes my master!" GIR and Minimoose shot into the air, the silver robot carrying Zim on his back.

"Coward!" Tak yelled.

"Man that guy goes through more personality changes than I go through shirts!" Carlos shouted as he beat a Copy Soldier he had in a head lock with his free fist.

"What do we do now?" Shen shouted as he cut down another copy soldier.

"RUN!" Skoodge shouted before he bowled over two more Copy soldiers and then rushed for the trees.

Skullene rushed forward, slammed her right fist into her open palm, reared her arm back, and then slammed it into a copy soldier, shattering his visor and knocking him head over heels as she rushed away with Carlos. Credaran and Shen also fled, taking Dib and Gaz with them. Dev had already left to go find Zim again.

678 and Sizz-Lor remained to fight as the group scattered. The two seasoned fighters tore through the cloned soldiers, ignoring their abandonment by their enemies and comrades alike.

Xxx

"GAZ! You're alright!" Dib hugged his sister as soon as they were away from the fight.

"...since we're actually on another planet, I'll give you a fifteen second warning to get off of me instead of five." The younger human said.

"Uh...noted." Dib released her.

"Skoodge, just come out of the tree, we're safe now." Shen said as he looked up a tree at the Invader.

"No way man! What if more of them show up?" Skoodge shouted.

"I'm certain they will after they spot an Invader hanging o to a tall tree right where a sniper can see him." Credaran said dully.

"Uh...ok I'm coming down!" The Irken climbed down the tree and joined the group.

"So what was up with Zim? He actually seemed...tough for a second." Gaz said. "Then he just bugged out."

"He wasn't scared of us; he was more like a wounded animal, understanding the fight was beyond him in his condition." Credaran rumbled. "If we want to find him, we'll need weapons." He held up his spear-which had no tip due to him breaking it off in the planet jacker's arm. "This is all I have."

"I have these." Shen held up a pair of knives. "But better yet, while I was in the base I managed to hack into the computer. Despite being dumb the Irken Empire makes their technology to last, and with a recent lock down lifted I was able to remote hack the system and break the fire walls. Before the computer initiated a purge I got as much uncorrupted data as possible."

"I got nothing," Skoodge said.

"Me neither." Dib shook his head.

"Five fingered sandwich." Gaz held up her clenched fists.

"What did you learn from the construct, Baron?" Credaran asked.

"It's a base constructed on this planet 536 Irk Cycles ago, equivalent of about 536 human years." Shen said.

"The Irkens had a base on my planet for that long?" Credaran asked.

"This base wasn't public knowledge like most front line bases are. It was occupied by some kind of army. The name was 'Splor' forces, I couldn't find much more data on it but the logs state that the base sensors acknowledged Zim as a member of the garrison's command staff when he approached it. It also detected his PAK was...outdated and applied a series of upgrades to it that most Irkens are never privileged to even hear about the possibility of."

"So that's why he had that jet pack? That blade thing? And why he managed to actually do something?" Gaz tilted her head.

"Yes but...it appears that there were a few problems. Another log was made while a remote connection between the base archives and Zim's PAK was still set. The upgrades will require further pass codes to become truly powerful, otherwise they take ten minute intervals to recharge." Shen said.

"How can the computer's recognize Zim? I know he's not 536 years old." Dib said.

"Irkens can live for millions of years, but you are most likely correct..." Shen put a hand on his chin. "But elite Irken soldiers, mostly invaders are permitted to pass on DNA material so that they are used for the creation of the next generation of soldiers. Hundreds of different war heroes could be put into creating a single generation, with each genetic code varying. It is possible that Zim has an 'ancestor' who was among the officers on this base. It also recognized his PAK and downloaded memory files to replace corrupted files. Zim also made many inquiries, most of which the Base AI could not answer but he may have one goal now when he referred to his new mission: he wants to unlock all of these new powers and the ones that have yet to come."

"So wait, you're telling me the Invader could gain more power?" Credaran asked.

"It is quite true, and the AI...it gave him coordinates in one of the files." Shen used his gauntlet to create a digital map. "He will head here...the ruins of Renora, the Capital City of Venira."

"I thought it was gladiator Planet." Gaz said.

"Credaran and his people used to live here, remember?" Dib turned to face his sister, but paused. "Hey...look!" He ran over to where he saw a small glint of light and pushed aside bushes ,revealing a weapons canister. "Nice!"

He pulled out a Vortian Plasma Rifle, a model that was still proudly used by the Vortians' conquerors the Irkens today. It was silver and smooth, and a small meter on the side showed it was at full charge.

"An impressive weapon young human. At full charge it can carry several hundred rounds." Shen said. "That is meant for continuous fire without the need of spare ammunition. With that, we might survive the city."

"Then what are we waiting for? The Invader will defile the ruins of my people. Let's go!" Credaran led them north east towards the city.

"There is one thing that concerns me...I made two copies on disk...where did my second copy go?" Shen wondered out loud.

Xxx

"You actually managed to pick the pocket of a Vortian Living Legend?" Skullene asked as she slid the disk into her right gauntlet. "I find that hard to believe."

"And I find it hard to believe that those gauntlets can do just about everything. Seriously, are they like Batman's utility belt because whenever we have to locate something you aliens always pull out your fancy computers mounted on your forearms." Carlos said, polishing his flame thrower.

"The average soldier possesses one; they needed to even the odds against the Irkens." Skullene replied. "And thanks for the medical treatment, despite the lack of necessity in it."

She read over the data and shared it with Carlos. "Alright, this cuts it; we either kill Zim or make him our meal ticket off of this planet."

"You know...maybe we can rule out killing him seeing as he wants off just as much as we do, and he does seem to have slightly less disrespect for you." Carlos pointed out.

"Carlos-Human..."

"Your tail." She pointed out his visible tail.

"God damn-AH!" Carlos toppled over, clutching his throat.

"Carlos-Human! What is wrong?" Skullene ran over to him.

"I forgot I can't say that word." He said, getting to his feet.

"What word?"

"Oh, god-OW!" He fell over. "That is NOT funny!"

Xxx

"AH!" Zim screamed as Gir crashed into a tree. "OW! GIR WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLY- AH!" Gir crashed through another tree. "OW MY FACE!"

When the 94th tree came, Zim screamed. "Activate shield!"

They had been flying for fifteen straight minutes, so his shield was operational again. It flashed to life and they went through dozens of trees without any harm or pain.

"GIR! DEFENCE MODE NOW!" Zim yelled as his shield began to give out.

"I DON'T WANNA!" Gir shouted, and then a moment later his eyes turned red. "YES MY MASTER!"

"STOP FLYING!" Zim shouted.

"YES MY MASTER!" Gir suddenly stopped his rockets in mid flight and dropped like a rock.

"AH! I CHANGED MY MIND! FLY GIR! FLY-" They fell into a river. "AH!"

"YAH! MASTER'S MELTING!" Gir cheered as Zim scrambled up onto the shore and rolled around in the dirt. "YAY!" He rolled next to his tormented lord and master.

"The pain! THE PAIN!" Zim screamed.

"PAIN! YEAH! I'mma sing the doom song!" Gir began to dance and say 'doom' in a sing song voice.

"NO!" Zim leaped to his feet. "The Doom is too much! TOO MUCH!" He paused as his optics opened a file. "What the-?"

"**Password accepted, navigation data integrating with archives."**

"The pass word is 'Doom'?" Zim asked.

"**Affirmative."**

"You have got to be kidding me. What's the map for?"

"**This unit has hacked into local navigation data points and land marks for Splor force coordination of ground and air units. You are in Grid 54 by 13."**

"More bases with the upgrades? Where is the nearest one?" Zim asked as he looked over a map of the region.

"**Grid 93 by 62, Renora City, Planetary Capital. Warning, no indication of Splor Presence in city, all sensors in Grid 93 by 62 are down."**

"After all this time I'm not surprised. Gir, Minimoose, let's go, we're going to the capital city to find the next base!" Zim ordered. "And computer, run a scan of my mental integrity, I suffered a lapse in personality during my fight."

"**Memory File integration with archives may have affects on user for a period of time as files are decoded."**

"Essentially I might just be living the memories of this soldier 'Ess'." Zim's eyes narrowed. "I need to hurry and get this next upgrade. Who knows what it might be!"

Xxx

"Whatever it is, it's ruining our show!" Purple yelled.

"Have Copy Units form up on Renora and take Zim out. Drop vehicle canisters to allow other contestants to reach it! Set up teleporter grids also! I want Zim DEAD!" Red barked.

He then turned to a camera drone. "We're live in three...two...Welcome back to 'Kill Zim'!" He announced. "So far we've had a few fights on day one and now it looks like it'll be a wilderness fight. Our main target Zim is travelling to the Capital City of Renora with a new arsenal of weaponry available to Master Targets in this game. We shall be showing footage of his battle later. For now enjoy a good two weeks of uh...walking and...fighting...oh and we have sixty thousand new contestants being dropped onto the planet so the fighting and death will not go down! But for now we'll be focusing on any and all fights taking place.

There will be death, there will be explosions ,there will be lasers, and best of all there will be Zim's death! We'll see you later on Kill Zim!"

"And...we're out!"

Xxx

End of chapter

Carlos: You liar! LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE! (sets my new jeans on fire)

Me: O_O AH! STOP DRO PROLL! STOP DROP ROLL! CARLOS YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! (splashes Carlos with water)

Carlos: AH! THE PAIN!

Me: Take that devil boy!

Carlos: I AM NOT POSSESSED!


	5. Chapter 5

Kill Zim

I own nothing-AH! (Carlos tackles me)

Carlos: Hello my name is Carlos and no I am not Oliviera from Resident Evil. And for the record, I am NOT POSSESSED DAMN IT ALL! Anyways, please enjoy this chapter brought to you by Carlos Broadcasting, now with eighty percent more Carlos.

Me: That totals it up to eighty one percent Carlos!

Carlos: Damn straight it does!

Xxx

"Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom-"

"SQUEAK!"

"Gir, that worked in the past but now it's just plain annoying and you've been singing for twenty four hours straight!" Zim growled. "TWENTY FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT! TAKE A BREAK!...Hey that rhymed."

Gir sniffed, tears forming.

"Oh relax, you can sing after I win and get us off this planet." Zim said.

"I miss my piggies..." Gir said as Zim moved on.

"Squeak!" Minimoose suddenly turned into a piggy.

"YAY!" Gir hugged the floating piggy.

"Come on you two, we might have bounty hunters after us, I feel it in my squidlysplooch, it feels gooey, and full of juice..._juice_!" Zim hissed. "We'll get to the city before any of these Bounty Hunters do, get the upgrade and they shall be no match for me."

"OINK!" Minimoose-er Mini...pig said?

"What? Incoming? Where- AH!" Zim was sent flying by something hitting the ground near him and landed on his feet in a combat ready stance. But this was no enemy before him...but a food pod!

"Congratulations all competitors, you have survived the first twenty six hours-a full day on Gladiator World. Every twenty six hours you shall received a shipment of food supplies unique to your own species." The voice of Tallest Purple said from a speaker on the pod. "Oh, and once again, Kill Zim!"

"Ah, good old Tallest, urging these pathetic mice along to their Doom so I can squish them under my boot like...squishy...spongy...mice!" Zim chuckled and opened the pod, where he took several snacks from along with some soda. "Nice!" Taking a sip, he sealed the canister and moved along.

Zim and his two robotic companions had not encountered anybody ever since they had escaped from the 'Splor' base. Now Zim was walking along what was left of what had once been a highway, now filled with the husks of vehicles and ships. There were even intact gun emplacements that had ceased working centuries ago that had once been mighty enough to shoot Irken ships out of the sky.

"I would have given my antennae to see a battle here." Zim smirked. "Maybe then I'd have a worthy opponent. So far only Skullene and to an extent that Carlos brat were any challenge at all. Now my power is so mighty it...it...IT IS ZIM!" He cackled.

"OINK!"

"I am not egotistic!" Zim snapped at the floating piggy as Gir hugged it.

"OINK OINK!"

"Oh forget this, there's no use arguing with a pig." Zim growled. "Let's go, we have to hurry and get to this city before we're tracked down again. I must know what was in those databanks and if the next pass codes are there then I can unlock even greater powers. This jet pack would be useful right about now."

"OINK!"

"Because I won't waste it in the event of me being attacked." Zim said. "But you have a point. Gir, status of your fuel reserves, now!"

"Master, fuel reserves at eighty percent!" Gir snapped a salute, his eyes red.

"Perfect! I'll be able to cut my journey down to two or three days! Why didn't I do this earlier?" Zim smirked. "To the air my robot minion! TO THE AIR!"

"Yes my master!" Gir took off with Zm on his back and Minipig-now turning back to Minimoose followed behind.

"MWAHAHAHAHA! YES! LOOK UP AND SEE YOUR FUTURE RULER PUNY MERCENARIES! HIGHER GIR! I WANT TO LOOK DOWN ON THIS LAND AND SPIT ON SOMEBODY'S FACE! MWAHAHA..haha...ha...uh oh." Zim saw a Copy Ship coming right at them! It was sleek and silver and had a pair of plasma cannons shooting right at them! "GIR! EVASIVE ACTIONS! NOW!"

"I DON'T WANNA!" Gir whined. "OK!" He went back to defence mode and began to dodge various bolts of energy. "WEEEEEEEEEE!"

"FULL SPEED AHEAD GIR! TO THE CITY AND OUR NEXT UPGRADE!" Zim grabbed Minimoose and turned on Gir, aiming the moose back at the ship. "Minimoose, Offensive code Alpha!"

"Squeak?"

"BIG GUNS! BLAST THEM!"

"Squeak!" Minimoose said in understanding before revealing a massive arsenal of rocket launchers and lasers that it fired right at the ship.

Zim laughed maniacally as the shots collided with the ship. "MWAHAHAHAHA! EHAHAHAHAHA-"

Xxx

Later...

"So what happened?" One Irken soldier asked.

"Zim blasted through the entire line. And his moose took down one of those copy ships and an entire battalion." Another Irken soldier said. "And it was so _cool_!"

"I know! I didn't think a little purple moose could do that! It was so cool." The third of the seven man team said. "The lasers came out of its _eyes_!"

"SQUEAK!"

"OUT OF MY WAY! I AM ZIM!" Suddenly the most hated and feared Irken came shooting over them, firing his moose at another set of Copy Ships that shot after him.

"...did you guys just see that?"

"Uh...maybe."

Xxx

"Alright, so we've learned one lesson, I'm a terrible driver." Carlos admitted. "Now will you stop being mean to me?"

"I've had to fight off all these test tube soldiers for you while you fix the ship, so NO!" Skullene snapped as she used her sword to cut through another Copy Soldier.

"I don't see you doing any better, now quit hounding me and get moving!"Carlos said as he bent down into a compartment in the side of the outdated Voot Cruiser they had acquired after it had been teleported down. He paused as he connected a circuit...and music started playing. "Oh for the love of crap what now?" He yelled as Frank Sinatra's 'I've got you under my skin' started playing. "Ooh this is actually good."

Singing along to it, he kept working as Skullene cut down multiple copy soldiers. Soon they all lay dead and Carlos finished fixing the Voot Cruiser just as the song ended.

"Yeah I've got you...under my skin..." Carlos wiped a tear away. "That was so beautiful."

"How did you manage to fix that anyways? You've never even seen it before." Skullene said, wiping her long sword clean of blood.

"Oh, I'm very adaptable." Carlos grinned. "Let's see if I can contact anybody over-"

"MY NAME IS ZIIIIIIMMMMMM!" Zim shouted as he shot over them and into the distance, still firing Minimoose at the Copy Ships.

"...why did I feel a disturbance in the Carlos just now?" Carlos asked as he looked up, closing the panel.

"That was Zim! And he was on a flying green dog!" Skullene said. "And uh...firing lasers from a...moose at some copy ships?"

"It must be that insane robot slave and his floating moose! Remember, he used that robot as a ride out of that battle?" Carlos asked. "Let's get them before they shoot him down!"

They hopped into their Voot Cruiser.

"Hey! Keep those antennae of yours away from there!" Carlos yelled.

"Sorry," Skullene mumbled as she tried to get her antenna into a position that did not disturb Carlos.

"Alright, let's go collect us one pissed off alien!" Carlos said.

"You're the alien on this planet!" Skullene yelled as they took off.

"Ah, touché." Carlos said.

Xxx

"So how long will it take for us to get to the city?" Dib asked.

"Well with our ride ruined thanks to somebody," Credaran glared at Dib. "Insisting he take over, just two more days."

"I said I was sorry!" Dib grumbled.

"I'll forgive you as soon as you admit your head is big but has no brain inside." Shen's eyes narrowed. "I honestly enjoyed my time here before I knew I'd be stuck with Big Head."

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" Dib yelled.

"It is Dib, so shut up." Gaz said in a tone that left no room for arguing.

"But what will we do? We can't let Zim get to the city and get another upgrade! You guys could barely take him as he is!" Dib said.

"Maybe our solution is coming up fast." Shen was looking to the sky. "The Tallest seem to have an interest in stopping Zim also."

"What is it- AH!" Dib screamed in a very high pitched voice as several pods struck the ground around them, sending dirt into the air. By the time it cleared, he was buried up to his scythe shape hair, and the others were untouched. "Why does this always happen to me?"

"Because your head is so big?" Skoodge guessed, sincerely trying to offer an answer to the human boy.

"Gee, thanks Skoodge," Dib said sarcastically.

"Any time man!" Skoodge replied with a grin.

"Ah...yes..." Shen opened one pod. "Power armour." He revealed a single black orb of an unknown material.

"They look like bowling balls." Dib said.

"Of doom?" Skoodge asked hopefully.

"No, these are some of the best in Vortian Nanotechnology, built for basic hand to hand combat. They won't stop a direct laser but they'll make you faster, stronger, and resistant to most elements of the battle field..." Shen tapped his sphere, which turned into a living tide that moved up his arm and moved under his clothing. "Also it's made to fit without being inconspicuous." He pulled his collar aside, showing the suit had attached to his skin under his suit entirely. "We built them to be convenient when needed. Mostly our spies used them for when they were discovered. Don't expect them to make you invincible though. Like I said they won't block attacks, so I'd suggest keeping yourself safe as much as possible in a fight if you can help it. And...the suits have a life time of ten hours, after that they need ten to recharge."

The Vortian showed his companions how to place the suits on, and then they were off, sprinting faster than they could without the suits.

Xxx

"Tell me again why I shouldn't kill you here and now?" Tak hissed as she and Dev circled each other.

"Tak, you and I both hate Zim ,we both want him dead." Devi replied. "And we won't be able to kill him if he gets the next upgrade. Think about it, you saw what he did. Do you really think we can take him on if he gets another upgrade?" Dev lowered the sword he had collected from a fallen enemy. "Think about what happened. He can fly, he can block any weapon at our disposal, he can use a blade that can cut through any armour we're allowed to use, he can do things I couldn't dream of with the regular enhancements I possess."

"So tell me then, why do you suddenly want my help specifically? I'd have thought you'd go for Sizz-Lor or Sergeant Hobo 678." Tak replied, wielding a pair of shorter, curved sword.

"I need somebody who is actually able to hit Zim instead of blundering about." Dev explained. "Think about it, if we kill him we can both work to get off this planet! I have no reason to betray you Tak, I only want Zim dead for his dishonourable murder of our Tallest Miyuki!"

Tak's eyes narrowed. "You want me to share my kill with you? You want me to throw away years of planning and hunting and working just so I can have a tie with you?" She paused. "Let me explain it plainly to you, Invader Dev." She hissed. "There is no way in this or any other universe that I will disgrace myself by allowing another to steal away MY victory!" She spun her blades in her hand. "Zim is MINE! Get it through your head!"

"Very well then...I am sorry for this Tak, but you have become my enemy now." Dev leaped forward and swung downwards. Tak parried with one blade and knocked his sword aside with the other. She spun and ducked, countering and striking at him with her blades. She leaped away as he tried to cleave her in half. Deploying her spider legs, she gripped a tree.

"Pathetic! Zim was right, you're just a little lap dog! We were all devastated when Miyuki died but we got over it! You're too busy trying to avenge her to actually advance yourself. Look at yourself," She climbed up to a branch. "You could go for Tallest if you grow much more, but I'd bet you wouldn't care to lead the empire unless Zim died first."

"You obsess over his death too!" Dev countered as she leaped down and swung one blade down, which he countered. "You blame him for failing the invader test, instead you have wasted six chances so you could pursue him!"

"I've been thinking about that," Tak strained as she and Dev struggled for ground over one another. "He had a point when he said that to me...so I've been thinking...instead of wasting my time pursuing him...I'll get out of here...let his dumb luck get him out...and then when everything is nice, quiet, and without anybody else to screw it up, I'll take him out myself...right after I take that test." She gave an evil smirk. "Thanks for the offer of alliance, Dog, but I'll be getting out of here on my own!" She then pushed away.

"He'll kill you if you go on your own you foolish child!" Dev shouted after her, but she was gone. "...still just a smeet."

Xxx

"AH!" Gir crashed once again, and Zim began to bounce head over heels.

"OW! EEH! OW! EEH! OW! OW! OOH! OH! OUCH!" Zim yelled with each impact as he rolled down the hill. He landed and lay there, looking at the sky as Gir landed next to him, giggling. Minimoose hovered over them.

"Squeak!"

"I know Minimoose, I hate them too." Zim said as the single remaining copy ship flew over them. "Forget this. DISRUPTORS!" His Disruptor legs came out. "I was hoping to save this until I reached the city, but I won't tolerate you morons pursuing me!" He opened fire with multiple shots as the ship came around for another pass.

Several shots splashed over the shields, but soon the defences fell and the next shots tore the front of the ship away. Several Copy soldiers fell out of the now opened air craft before it exploded.

"HA! TAKE THAT! I LAUGH AT YOUR PATHETIC SHIP!" Zim laughed maniacally. "Yes, now Zim is the one who rules the battle field!"

Gir joined him in laughing.

Sighing, Zim smiled as he retracted his legs. "Well, it feels good to take out those idiots, but now my disruptors are off line for several minutes. Hopefully the next upgrade will offer me a quicker recharging time."

"LOOK! A SHINY!" Gir pointed, hopping up and down. "A BIG SHINY-EEP!" The robot was slammed by a large hover vehicle.

"What the-?" Zim watched as a hover APC stopped and let out six Copy soldiers. "OH boy."

Suddenly one soldier fell, and four figures burst from the tree line nearby. Two Vortians and two other aliens firing lasers at the squadron as the two drivers got out to join the fight.

"Ha! A distraction!" Zim smirked.

"WEE HEE! THAT HURT!" Gir said as he appeared ,his head dented. He quickly tapped it and the dent suddenly vanished.

"Let's go my minions, onwards!" Zim began to go around the fire fight before he heard a familiar voice.

"GREEN ONE!"

"Uh...why does that seem familiar?" Zim looked towards the source and saw a massive Planet Jacker burst out of the trees and tip the APC onto its roof before continuing after him. "DEAD MEAT!"

"Oh no!" Zim yelled. "Activate-" He was sent flying as Lorak hit him in the face. "AH!" He hit a tree. "Mommy." He slid down, in great pain.

"Now green one, you die." Lorak chuckled, advancing on Zim.

"Hold it right there ugly!" Two shapes landed between Zim and Lorak. "You'll have to go through us first!"

"Huh, more humans." The Planet Jacker chuckled. "Very pretty ones, very fragile too."

"Ok, this mofo is dead." One of the girl cracked her knuckles. "Mel, let me take this guy!"

"We take him together Sophie." The other girl replied.

The girl known simply as Mel had dark skin and dark hair dyed with streaks of blue and purple that she kept separated at the center in curtains. She wore a pair of denim shorts and a grey t shirt under a black sweater that just exposed the bottom of the shirt and was unzipped at the collar to expose the top of the shirt. She wore a set of converse on her feet and was twirling a pair of sun glasses in one hand.

The other girl, Sophie, wore a set of converse, black shorts that went to her mid thigh, a white t shirt, and held her own black hair tied back in a low pony tail. Her skin was fair and her eyes were green. She also had traces of a series of tattoos forming a wave like pattern going down her arms and legs and even becoming visible on her neck.

"Too easy." Lorak advanced.

"Mel...NOW!" Sophie shouted.

"Oh hell yes!" Mel grinned, revealing shark like teeth as her hands became claws, and her eyes glowed a blazing gold colour. She thrust both hands forward and sent a stream of lighting at Lorak, who covered his face with his arms and sealed his armour before it hit him. The blast knocked him back a bit ,but he was far from done.

"Hah! Too weak-" He was cut off by the sight of Sophie, stripped to her undergarments. "What girl doing?"

Sophie was crouched, growling as she placed her hands flat on the ground. Suddenly she began to grow, changing into something else entirely. Soon she was gone, and in her place stood a tall bipedal alien with talon tipped hands and a slim build. She was covered in silvery scales where there wasn't white skin, and her white undergarments fit in perfectly. Her eyes now looked plain white, without pupils or irises in them. She grinned and let out a wolf like howl.

"A...a...what are you?" Zim asked.

"I'm a were-alien, what else?" Sophie cracked her knuckles. "Dead meat big guy!"

"Human still too weak to-" Lorak stopped as he felt immense pain from his equator. Looking down, he saw one of Sophie's fists buried into his pelvic area. She squeezed, and something snapped.

Lorak provided a choir for all those in range the next second. Falling over, he nursed his crippled man hood as Sophie posed for a camera drone. Many aliens had to admit that the scaled humanoid form was rather attractive. Sophie sent a wink into the lens and then asked. "Can I have some privacy? I have to change back."

The camera drone obliged. When she was in human form ,she pulled her shorts and a black tank top she wore under the t shirt on. "Ok, it's good." The camera looked at her. "Man that was a close one, good thing we showed up."

"I would have handled it...but thank you." Zim stood. "Who and what are you and why do I care to ask?"

"I'm Melissa, call me Mel." Mel smiled. "I'm a mutant!"

"A...mutant?"

"A government bred one to be precise. I got sick of all those schedules and rules...so I killed my caretaker and snuck out." Melissa said in a tone a little girl would use to describe her perfect day. "It's so much fun here!"

"I'm Sophie, and I...well I'm a were-alien, I turn into aliens." Sophie rubbed the back of her head with a sheepish smile. "Though most forms end up ripping my clothes I just decided to go with the strip tease you saw a minute ago."

"Zim cares not for human anatomy." Zim said sternly. "What was that alien you turned into?"

"Oh, that was a Teranai, I like their species so much. I turn into different species by just...well...oddly enough I have to bite them on a full moon. Turns them and lets me take their form when I want...but the craving for raw meat gets a little weird when I turn into an Irken." Sophie added.

"You can turn into an Irken?" Zim gasped.

"Yep!" Suddenly Sophie's skin turned green, he nose and ears vanished, her green eyes became big and like a lady bug's, a set of antennae popped out of her head, and her hands became clawed. She smiled, her hands folded behind her as she blushed a bit when the camera drone's speakers showed wolf whistles from Irkens all over the galaxy. "I like this form actually...but there is the problem of the PA...oh dear." She fell to one knee. "PAK...can't stay like this." She returned to human form and stood up, gasping for air. "Man it hurts to change so much in a minute..."

"Uh...maybe we ought to consider taking this to a safer place." Melissa pointed to the Planet Jacker, who was slowly getting up.

"Good idea, let's go Zim." Sophie said.

"How do you know my name?" Zim pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Dude, it's called 'Kill Zim'." Melissa said dryly.

"...Shut up and let's go." Zim followed them into the forest. "Why did you help me?"

"I got forced into this." Sophie replied. "Kidnapped and placed in it. When the Tallest found out about my existence they sent out an Invader to Earth and grabbed me a month ago."

"Why didn't I see him?" Zim asked.

"Uh...no offense but you don't seem to be the brightest bulb, I'm pretty sure you missed him." Melissa said.

"YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!" Zim yelled.

"Gah...this makes me miss Carlos." Melissa sighed.

"You know that insane demon of a human!" Zim looked at her.

"He is NOT possessed...just special." Melissa grinned. "And he'll be glad to see me."

"Oh, and why is that?" Zim demanded.

Xxx

"And this is Girl Friend Number three, Melissa." Carlos pointed to one of the pictures that unfolded out of his wallet. It was of him and Melissa making out on a bench while giving the camera the bird.

"I thought it was unethical to date others behind ones back in human culture." Skullene said as she manoeuvred the Voot Cruiser.

"Oh they're pretty fine with the six person date actually." Carlos shrugged. "What can I say? Love them all enough and you've got six crazy, supernatural girl friends, each as hot and crazy as the last."

"Now that I am more aware of your race...I suddenly wish I wasn't." Skullene admitted. "But if you are able to help me escape alive, then so be it. So far you seem to be a master of many talents, so I shall trust you to keep up the good work."

"Yeah yeah now excuse me," Carlos said in a tone that clearly stated he did not care as he painted a landscaping of a valley he had seen further back. He somehow had it all done in perfect detail. In the mean time his tail was somehow putting a tattoo of his name into his back while he used one foot to play the violin...where he got it I still don't know. O_O "Well anyways let's see how far we are from the city...and hey, where did Zim go? And OW! Be careful with that thing!" He glared at his tail.

"Shot down, but I think he's alive, the Copy ship took a hit when it came to circle the area." Skullene replied. "We're heading right into the city though, we'll wait for Zim and collect some better weaponry."

"Sounds good to me." Carlos said. "OW! What did I just say?"

Xxx

"Alright...we lost Big'n Ugly." Sophie said.

"Thank you for your assistance humans but I must be going. I have a MISSION!" Zim proclaimed before Mel put a hand over his mouth. "MPH!"

"SH!" Mel put a finger to her lips. "There's Copy Soldiers all over this place! You weren't exactly stealthy when you came in!"

"Zim does not require stealth, he has gained abilities far beyond what your human minds can comprehend!" Zim said as he moved away from Melissa.

"You just about got your butt kicked by Big'n Ugly." Sophie raised an eye brow.

"He took me by surprise and I would have counter attacked!" Zim snapped. "SILENCE! I AM ZIM!"

"Uh...Zim, you just brought the damn whirl wind down on us." Sophie pointed up as a copy ship began to descend.

"Them again? FOOLS! My weapons have recharged! Disruptors activate!" Zim yelled before his Disruptor Legs came out again, and he proceeded to blow the Copy Ship out of the sky. As several teams of Copy Troops rushed from the trees, he started to mow them down also. "MWAHAHAHAHA! YES! BURN! I AM ZIM! I AM AN IMPORTANT IRKEN AND I AM A HUNGRY ONE! HUNGRY!"

When the last Copy soldier fell, Zim's Disruptor legs retracted, and two shocked human freaks of nature stared at the battlefield before them.

"Uh...ok I'll take his word for it; he is a bad ass." Sophie whispered from where she hid behind Melissa.

Xxx

"I sensed...a disturbance...in the Carlos." Carlos whispered.

"I'm pretty sure it's the side effect of losing so much blood after having your own tail stab you seventeen times." Skullene said as she tended to his now butchered back.

"What tail?"

"Don't play dumb with me human or I'll asphyxiate you." Skullene threatened before she finished applying the medical paste. "How does it feel?"

"Like somebody just took a sickle to my back and took the time to carve out a picture worthy of Picasso and decided to waste more time snapping pictures and then just spite me by pouring salt all over it." Carlos shrugged. "Aside from that I feel very good and-ow, please don't put your antenna in my wounds."

"Damn it these things grow way too long!" Skullene pulled her antennae back.

After that was all done, Skullene looked over her slightly damaged armour. When she had been entered into Kill Zim against her will she had been given a simple black body suit connected to grey and silver armoured pieces consisting of a pair of thigh high black boots, a kind of battle skirt, a breast plate, shoulder armour and arm guards and gauntlets, all of which connected to her PAK. To Red and Purple's credit they didn't put her at a disadvantage with the outdated and weak armour, it was the same as what every contestant was given if they wore armour at all or brought their own. Several plates were scorched and dented. "I need better armour."

"I think I have just the idea." Carlos ran about 50 feet away and started chanting in some unknown language as Skullene pondered her situation.

Dark clouds began to gather overhead, red lightning shot out and struck the ground around Carlos as a pod hit the ground next to Skullene. The Irken opened it, and found a set of Irken Armour similar to what she used to wear, though it was all in the usual red, purple, and pink colours she despised so much. Gathering her courage, she took the armour and went into the Voot cruiser, bringing the canopy down and darkening it so the still chanting Carlos would not see.

Carlos by now was laughing maniacally as he summoned otherworldly forces. A small pond of lava-or was it magma? Anyways, a pond of very hot liquid formed and a cloaked figure rose out of it. A pair of narrow red eyes stared at Carlos. "Yessss...?"

"Oh hey Bob, I need a set of armour for my friend, is my soul still good?" Carlos asked.

"No...you sold it to me last year for a bag of cheetos, remember?"

"And then I kicked you in the face and stole it back. Here's your chance to get it again!" Carlos said.

"No...I've learned my lesson."

"Would you take my soul for a Klondike bar?" Carlos asked.

"I fell for that once and I won't fall for it again! Klondike bars do not bode too well down there in uh...you know where." Bob said in his whispery voice. "Now excuse me, the latest batch of sinners are coming up and your dad is going to be throwing a barbeque-"

"Whoa now, don't be telling the galaxy where my dad will be!" Carlos objected.

"AH HA! So you're not possessed, you're the son of the devil!" Carlos and bob saw Dib and his group standing near where the Voot Cruiser had set down.

"Ok, one: no. Two: If I was the son of the devil why would I be here?" Carlos asked.

"You have demonic power. The G word burns you. Holy water burns you. ADMIT IT!" Dib pointed a finger at Carlos while donning a twitchy, insane grin.

"...ok your idea of possession was a lot closer to the truth than this one." Carlos said. "The idea that I had power...not exactly from humanity. But I'd like to take this time to assure everybody: I am not the son of the devil, nor am I possessed by him."

"Then what are you?" Dib yelled.

"Uh...well you could call me a...um...hm...compare me to a leech. I suck blood from you when I get the chance, it's a similar concept with something else...except I'm sucking this power off somebody else and he can't do crap about it! And as for my dad...well he was possessed." Carlos shrugged. "You an see why this is a bit of an emotional topic for me."

"Wait...you leech demonic power from something?" Dib asked.

"Yeah...can we not go into it?" Carlos asked.

"Wait, if you're not a demon why are you on an 'unholy' crusade of justice?" Dib asked.

"Because of what Kurt called me!" Carlos replied.

"What did he call you?" Skoodge asked.

Carlos suddenly slumped, sniffing a bit. "It was so awful, he did it right in front of my family and my girlfriends and made me look stupid. He-he called me..." He looked up just in time to see a screen drone float down and show Kurt's image on it. Kurt stared at Carlos, and then gave him the finger. "DAMN YOU KURT! I'LL BURN THIS GALAXY AND EVERYTHING IN IT IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO KILL YOU!"

Kurt's image vanished as Carlos smashed the drone and started jumping up and down on its remains.

Skullene by now had come out of the Voot Cruiser in her bright new armour and was cursing Red and Purple for one thing: they had intentionally made it a size too small for her and it automatically extended a head set that looked like a tiara she wouldn't be able to take off without cutting off her link from the command interface, essentially making her into Red and Purple's little Warrior Princess they always fantasized about (just thinking back to how they stalked her in the academy made her shudder-damn Miyuki for making her so perfect!). She was just barely able to wear the armour, and it clung to her figure tightly. She was already inputting commands into its systems to use the adaptive projection system to change it black and try to make it a size bigger. "What did I miss?"

"Oh, just me explaining why I'm so awesome and Dib admitted his head is big...nah just kidding I never reveal why I'm awesome." Carlos said, having instantaneously calmed himself of his homicidal rage.

"I'm assuming you saw Zim flying overhead?" Shen asked.

"We were chasing him until he was shot down." Skullene grabbed her sword and hang it on her back. "Have any weapons?"

"Picked this up from a few bodies a mile back," Credaran tossed her a laser pistol, which she holstered.

"Excellent," Skullene smiled before she finished inputting commands and her armour turned pitch black. "Now, I'm heading to the city to catch Zim and make him help me get off this rock. I'm assuming Carlos-Human is coming along-"

"Hell yeah I am," Carlos looked at the newcomers. "Anybody else feel like chasing the insane green alien?"

"Are you kidding? He won't help us." Dib said.

"And he still thinks his leader were sent from the gods themselves." Credaran pointed out.

"Then maybe a slight revelation is in order." Skullene crossed her arms. "If we want to get out of here, we need Zim. If we want Zim, we need to make him see that the Tallest hate him."

"If we're doing this, I want that game too." Gaz said.

"I'll be going after the Tallest anyways, if it means so much then you can grab it on the way." Skullene looked to the Voot Cruiser. "I hope nobody is squeamish about tight spaces."

"As long as I once again only have one person in my lap and no antenna on my crotch I'm fine." Carlos said as he climbed into the pilot's chair.

"You let the human drive?" Shen asked Skullene. "And what was that about his lap?"

"It's cramped in there and he avoids crashing it." Skullene coughed awkwardly. "And the seat was too small for me."

"A Voot Cruiser of that age is meant to carry one pilot and a SIR Unit...there are seven of us and we have no SIR units." Skoodge pointed out.

"At least we'll have a ride, and this time Big Head better not crash us." Shen glared at Dib.

"I said I was sorry, damn it all!"

The group crowded into the now cramped cockpit. This time Gaz sat on Carlos' lap, playing her Game Slave absentmindedly. Dib was squeezed in under her feet while Carlos reached around her for the controls. Skullene and Shen were forced in on either side of the seat, pressed against the canopy while Credaran was squeezed behind the seat.

"I...hate you all..." Dib strained to speak.

"Just remember which one is the gas pedal and which one is the breaks Big Head." Carlos said before he started the Voot Cruiser up. "ROAD TRIP!" They shot off into the sky.

Xxx

End of chapter


	6. Chapter 6

Kill Zim

Carlos: Hello my name is Carlos (static blocks out his surname) and you are watching Familiar News.

Me: Thanks Carlos. Earlier today Familiar 47 admitted he owns nothing, but any OCs are his and based off of the property of Jhonen Vasquez. Back to you Carlos.

Carlos: Thanks Familiar, now we go to Shen Baron.

Shen: (hiding in a ditch) I'm being hunted by Irkens!

Carlos: Thats very good Shen, but the weather?

Shen: It's raining!

Carlos: Guess I'd better stay indoors today. Anyways we go to this chapter brought to you by Familiar 47.

Me: Now with eighty percent less Carlos.

And as a side note...saw Review 11 left by Zimsmostloyalservant...crap. There's only one way to solve this...(a team moves in to snatch zimsmostloyalservant) No, not that! Let's just keep it quiet and- NO! (Stops team again) I mean...let's say that since it's a fan fiction and I haven't watched Tak the Hideous New Girl for a few months that it's seven years. Oh, and if you like Twilight then you'll hate me soon enough. Just looked at a few pictures of Legacy of Kain and saw the reactions of various LOK chars to Twilight...I imagined how Zim would react. That and I want to reassure fans of Legacy of Naruto that sappy romance shall be avoided both there and here.

Xxx

"Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom-"

"SQUEAK!" Minimoose turned into a pig again. "OINK!"

"PIGGY!" Gir tackled Minipig in mid air with a hug.

"Aw...they're so cute." Sophie cooed as she picked Gir and Minipig up. "Yes you are! Yes you are!"

As Gir giggled even louder, Zim resisted the urge to rip his antennae out. "Weren't you the ones suggesting we be quiet?"

"But I can't help it! This doggy is sooo cute!" Sophie said as she ugged Gir, who had put his dog suit back on.

"You can have your doggy, I just want to see Carlos." Melissa drooled as she imagined being with her boy friend again.

"How did you end up meeting that maniac anyways?" Zim asked.

Melissa sighed dreamily. "Oh it was so romantic, it was like out of a movie."

Zim imagined Melissa and Carlos dancing in some dark background to some sort of sappy music from the human romance movies.

Melissa was picturing her beating up Carlos' older brother after he touched her ass and then Carlos stomping up and saying 'Hey bitch, quit messing with my bitch!' to which she replied with a guttural snarl and they began to beat the crap out of each other. Truth be a fight turned Melissa on and coincidentally enough it did the same with Carlos, the next thing they knew they were making out on the floor of their high skool.

"He's such a gentleman, and he's very smart." Melissa added.

Next Zim pictured Carlos pulling back chairs and opening doors for Melissa, again in that eerie black background and with that cheesy romance music.

Melissa picture Carlos growling at a jock who was flirting with a rather ignorant younger Melissa. Carlos paused and began to go over calculations in his head, and then confirmed them before enacting his plan. Drawing one foot back, he swung his steel toed boot up and jammed the tip right into the jock's balls with a sickening 'crack'. As the jock flew into the air, screaming, Melissa blushed as Carlos grabbed her and began to make out with her before she fell into it with him. The jock's head was stuck in the ceiling up above and he was writhing in pain.

"He also doesn't just give his love to one woman...he gives it to six, equally." Melissa sighed dreamily. "I never knew a seven way was so good."

Several million spectators gagged, not wanting to hear a romance story.

Zim pictured Carlos and six beautiful women. Carlos would be giving them all kisses and hugs and gifts and never once giving one less attention than the other. Like all of his visions they were clad in fancy, expensive, and beautiful clothing and unlike the real Carlos this one was charming and smooth talking.

Melissa pictured uh...what REALLY happened...this is rated T for Teen people!

"Uh...Mel, you do know that we're broadcasting to the whole galaxy, right?" Sophie said as she, Gir, and Minipig stared at her.

"OINK!"

"Heeheehee...TMI." Gir giggled. "What's that mean?"

"Too much information," Sophie answered the green dog in her arms.

"Enough of this romantic mumble JUMBO!" Zim declared. "Gir, Mel-Human's story disgusts me, FETCH ME MY BUCKET!"

"I DON'T WANNA!" Gir wailed and then suddenly stood and snapped a salute. "Yes my master!"

Sophie and Melissa cringed and looked away as Zim let out today's lunch into the bucket and tossed it away.

"Ok...ew," Melissa whimpered. "I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on."

"Really? I hear you keep it wide open with Carlos," A sneer came from above.

Melissa fumed. "You..."

"YES! IT IS I!" A young man leaped down. He was older than Carlos and had way too much hair, which was all black and his eyes were brown. He even had a thin beard forming. He wore a pair of tight black jeans and a matching t shirt and was made of muscle. "Roberto!"

"More like a Taylor Lautner wannabe." Sophie snickered.

Roberto hissed. "Do not mention the name..." It was well known that Roberto and his folk didn't like Twilight.

"What is this human and how combustible is he?" Zim asked Sophie, already prepared to summon his energy blade.

"He is Roberto...a werewolf." Sophie admitted.

"Were wolf? Those dogs that stand on two legs that the Dib keeps prattling about?" Zim asked. "Zim thought they were MYTH!"

"Dib as n Dib Membrane? Damn, that four eyed fanatic almost found me last month." Roberto noted. "Anyways...I have come on a sacred quest outside of the job of killing you Zim, I am here to...KILL CARLOS!"

"NO! For the thousandth time Roberto it's over and Carlos will just kick your ass again!" Melissa yelled.

"Why do you want to kill the Carlos-Human? This show is called 'Kill Zim' may Splorchamheimer damn it all! You're supposed to try killing ME so I may rip your neck open and dangle you upside down and watch you flop like a fish! LIKE A FISH!" Zim yelled to the sky.

"Very well Zim, I will tell you the tale...of Roberto da Venesia," Roberto said using an overdone Italian accent. "That bastard Carlos stole the one thing in life that truly mattered to this pathetic dog, the one thing truly worth living as a mutt for-"

"Yeahyeahyeah you're boring, MEL-HUMAN! Why does the talking dog want to kill Carlos-human?" Zim turned to Melissa.

"Gir wants to kill Carlos also?" Melissa screamed with horrified eyes.

"NO! NOT HIM! HIM!" Zim grabbed Roberto by the head and held him up infront of Melissa.

"Hi honey," Roberto said to Melissa before Zim tossed him away.

"Oh...I broke up with him for Carlos," Melissa admitted.

"Le gasp." Sophie said sarcastically. "And so the plot unfolds as what was a good reality show becomes the galaxy's biggest soap opera."

"It's not much of a soap opera unless I actually care about Roberto. He's a slob, I hate him, I want him to die, and I honestly don't want to see his repulsive unshaven face." Melissa shrugged as Roberto whimpered.

"Your words wound me Melly-" Melissa cut him off.

"Don't call me Melly! That was reason number four I left you for Carlos! The fifth was because you haven't even looked up the definition of personal hygene." Melissa shuddered.

"But I'm getting close!" Roberto pulled out 'DA WORLD'S BIGGEST ASS DICTIONARY'. "...hehehe...they put a picture of a dude's eye in here."

"He's on 'E' right now, he'll be on 'F' by Christmas, that'll be fun." Melissa rolled her eyes.

"Aren't you supposed to just look for the first letter of the word you're-" Melissa covered Zim's mouth.

"What was that?" Roberto looked up.

"He said 'Aren't you supposed to go look for the first better aura in a girl.'" Sophie lied, not missing a beat after helping Melissa evade Roberto for so long.

"Ah, that is quite true Mister Zim, but no girl can compare to my Melissa!"

"Almighty Splorchamheimer, this truly is as bad as that ridiculous Twilight movie you human girls like so much." Zim groaned in disgust. He had become curious about human entertainment and had gone for one of the most advertised movies at the time...sadly it was when Twilight was first shown.

Needless to say Zim vowed that Stephenie Myer would die first so she could not live to create more of these 'Sparkly Monsters of Doom' after he dealt with J.K Rowling and her legion of monstrously powerful witches, wizards and dragons along with Paul Anderson just because Zim felt like it. Of course these plans were made after he was done being resuscitated by paramedics-the bright side was that the theatre closed for the night after that because people thought he had suffered a seizure because of the bright lights. They were not too far off of the mark.

"You can mock me all you like, but until Carlos is dead he and all who stand with him shall never find a moment of peace!" Roberto snarled. "I am the greatest hunter on this planet now baby! I can rip you apart with my teeth and-"

"GAH! STOP IT! MEMORY FLASHES! BAD MOVIE! SPARKLES! THE SPARKLY BOY BANDS OF DOOM ARE COMING TO EAT MY SQUIDLYSPLOOCH!" Zim screamed. "MINIMOOSE! ATTACK!"

All too glad, the moose fired with everything it had.

"Oh crap." Roberto said before he was literally sent flying into the distance. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS ZIM!..." He faded away.

"That was close...much too close." Zim shuddered.

Xxx

"I sense...a disturbance...in the Carlos." Carlos said.

"You've said that six times-OW!" Dib yelled as Gaz kicked his head again. "What was that for!"

"You're annoying," Gaz shrugged, still playing her game.

"This is no joke Comrade Big Head, we might have a serious problem." Carlos said in a dead serious tone. "I'm not completely sure...but I feel that we're about to have an accident."

"From pilot error?" Shen asked rhetorically.

"No my goat legged friend...from...IT..." Carlos hissed.

"What is 'it'?" Skullene asked, confused.

"It's coming...oh no, EVASIVE ACTION!" Carlos pulled on the controls and dodged a flying ,screaming werewolf as he flew by. "That was close...but why did I suddenly feel a homicidal urge?"

"Wow, you were right, we really were going to hit something." Dib said, surprised. "I guess we're safe now."

"DIB YOU BIG HEADED BASTARD! YOU JINXED US!" Carlos shouted...right before the engines suddenly stopped.

Carlos looked at Dib. "I hate you so much right now."

They dropped. Shen, Credaran, and Skullene braced themselves. Skoodge and Dib hugged each other, screaming their hearts out. Carlos just stared at the quickly approaching ground while Gaz remained focused on her game.

"I just realized something, I forgot to send Bob back hell-." Carlos started before they struck the ground, sending up a spray of dirt.

Xxx

Bob the demon looked around the field he had been left in. "Oh crap cakes." He sighed. "Carlos, I'll get you for this one. I can't believe you're making me walk home this time!"

Xxx

"Ah...Roberto is gone, Carlos is probably closing in...it's a good day." Melissa sighed.

"If he's closing in, most likely the rest of the people trying to kill me are then, I must hurry to reach my goal!" Zim said, speeding up. "I'd fly again but I don't trust Gir. He shot me half way across the continent and then crashed into the middle of a fire fight."

"But if he hadn't then you never would have met us!" Sophie said from where she still held Gir, who still held Minipig.

"IF he hadn't crashed I wouldn't have been attacked," Zim pointed out. "Why don't you go look for the Carlos-human?"

"Silly, Carlos will be looking for you obviously," Melissa giggled. "He's just like the last man who managed to charm me...Johnny, oh how I loved it when he did what he's good at. (Guess what that reference is to)"

"Oh good lord don't bring that guy up again, he freaked me the hell out!" Sophie protested. "Why did he and Carlos hang out so much anyways?"

"Because they have so much in common!" Melissa replied with a shrug. 'And he gave Carlos tips on how to try killing that bastard Kurt.'

"SILENCE! YOU'LL GIVE OUR POSITION AWAY!" Zim shouted, his voice echoing through the woods and making every single bird creature fly up in a massive swarm that could be seen for miles.

"...don't say a word," The Invader glared at his two companions, who stifled giggles.

Xxx

"Hm...I sense...a disturbance...in the-OW!" Carlos glared at Dib, who had tossed a rock at him. "BIG HEAD!"

"You had it coming!" Dib snapped, only to once again be on the receiving end of Carlos' fist.

As Carlos proceeded to beat the poor maniac to death, Gaz sat on top of the wreckage of the Voot Cruiser. Skullene, Credaran, and Shen were looking for their weapons while Skoodge was unconscious.

"What is this 'Carlos' anyways?" Credaran asked.

"I have come to several conclusions," Shen announced. "The Carlos is the following: Firstly it is Carlos himself, adding 'the' as a way of making him sound more important. Secondly it seems to be some sort of alternate ego that supposedly 'warns' Carlos of danger...though after all the random crap I've heard I'll believe anything now."

"Another conclusion is that the Carlos-Human is insane and homicidal." Credaran added.

"I'M NOT INSANE AND I'M NOT POSSSESSED! I'M JUST LIKE ZIM! I'M SWAMP GAS!" Carlos shouted as he somehow strangled Dib with his own spinal cord.

"Why is it that Carlos-Human constantly insists on being either Swamp Gas or special?" Shen asked.

"From what I know of humanity, swamp gas is often used as an excuse for hallucinations." Skullene said as they watched Carlos brutally torture Dib with his bare hands.

"...should we help Big Head?" Credaran asked.

"Nonono." Skullene said quickly, putting one arm in front of her companions. "Let's just wait until Big Head asks us for help."

"AYE! THE PAIN! AH!" Dib screamed.

Xxx

"Ah...for some reason I feel as though I am listening to a sweet melody of pain and despair...that or my 'Dib is in pain' senses are tingling." Zim chuckled. "A funny story about how I got those actually- AH!"

He was tackled by a purple blur and ended up rolling as he struggled with the Irken on top of him. Soon he had Tak pinned under him, her arms pinned to her side as he straddled her. "You!"

"So Zim-"

"You!"

"So Zim-"

"You!"

"...So...Zim-"

"YOU!"

"GAH! ALRIGHT THAT'S IT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Tak squirmed under Zim.

"Aw...they're so obviously in love." Sophie said.

"Just like how me and Carlos started out." Melissa sighed dreamily, thinking back to how she had pinned Carlos after he charged in to save his brother and they ended up making out in their battle for dominance. Sophie ended up picturing a cheesy soap opera where Melissa would refuse to admit her feelings for Carlos, who would adamantly pursue her love...

But this is Carlos we're talking about and I f-ing hate those kinds of romances.

"Let me up Zim!" Tak growled.

"Uh... I would but I fear before I'[m on my feet I'll find myself ending up like Sizz-lor." Zim for once pitied the Fry Lord of Foodcourtia. "Make me an offer."

Tak had no idea until something came to her mind. Counting on Zim at least having the usual hormones any Irken male might have deep down, she put on a cat like smile. "I have just the idea."

"Oh? And what is that?" Zim asked suspiciously.

"This." Suddenly the galaxy imploded, stars went supernova, black holes devoured waves of BUNNIES! Gir managed to put two and two together, Minimoose turned bright pink! Ok all that shit never happened but Tak did kiss Zim right on the lips.

Zim's antennae shot straight up as he registered what had happened. Tak slid her tongue into his mouth, and he felt his grip loosen...which was all Tak needed to shove him off and straddle him. She broke the kiss. "Alright Zim, now we need to talk-"

"WHAT DID YOU O TO ZIM! LIMBS JELLY! ANTENNAE JIGGLY! SQUEEDLYSPLOOCH...SPLOOCHY!" Zim shouted.

"ZIM!" Tak shouted. "I'm going with you!"

"Wha?" Zim stopped writhing.

"As embarrassing as this is you're the most likely person to find a way off this planet knowing your damn luck. I want off of this planet also." Tak said. "What do you say Zim? Put aside bad blood just this once?" she held out a hand.

"Hm..." Zim looked at her hand...and then for some reason at her chest and then at her hand again. "Ok."

Tak blinked. "Seriously? No distrust? No 'you're lying'!"

"Nah," Zim shrugged.

"Uh...ok..." Tak got off of him.

"Before we leave this wretched ball of mud I shall retrieve my upgrades." Zim declared, standing up. "After that nobody shall stand in the way of Zim!"

Tak sighed. "Great Tallest Splorchamheimer, this will take forever."

Xxx

"Welcome back to 'Kill Zim'!" Purple shouted. "I'm Purple and I'm here with you at 'Kill Zim's shocking moments'!"

It showed Tak and Zim kissing. "Zim just fell for the oldest trick in the book!" Purple giggled. "HE JUST GOT PUNKED!"

A HUGE SIGN APPEARED BEHIND Purple saying 'ZIM GOT PUNKED'.

"And...cut to commercials!" the Tallest shouted.

Xxx

"Wow, she really did kiss him, I owe you five bucks." Melissa whispered to Sophie.

"You can pay me back if we survive." Sophie replied.

"So Zim, tell me about how you discovered these upgrades." Tak said.

"Oh nice try Tak, but I shall not reveal anything more than this: these upgrades are MINE! They are literally my BIRTH RIGHT!" Zim cackled. "And after I have them, I shall squish the competition under my boot until they are like how invaders should pass probing day: jiggly and full of _juice_!"

"That sounds so wrong," Melissa said.

"SILENCE! Zim is talking! And Zim shall destroy all who oppose him!" Zim exclaimed. "I AM ZI-" Tak smacked him on the back of the head.

"_Zim_ needs to shut up before even more enemies find-"

"ZIM!" Sergeant Hobo 678 landed in front of them. "I'll do to you what you did to your squad on Hobo 13!"

"Uh...you're going to teleport me away at the last second from instantaneous death?" Zim and Tak tilted their heads as the former voiced the question.

"GAH! No!" Hobo 678 growled. "You humiliated me on live Irken TV and-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, now you're going to take your revenge on me for the sake of your honour and blah blah blah." Zim rolled his eyes. "By Splorchamheimer you people are a broken record!"

Growling, 678 revealed his weapon, a massive assault rifle that was as long as Zim was tall and twice as thick as the slim Irken. Grinning evilly, Sergeant 678 opened fire. All four of his targets leaped aside as he tore up the area with laser fire.

"I'm gonna mount your head on my mantle and make smoothies out of your blood!" Hobo 678 shouted, laughing manically. "DIE!"

"Zim, how did you manage to piss EVERYBODY in the known galaxy off?" Tak shouted as she fired her laser back at Hobo 678 from her hiding spot.

"I was just trying to win the course!" Zim shouted, firing his carbine as the group retreated into the woods. As Sophie and Melissa kept running, Tak or Zim would stop and fire over one another to cover them from Hobo 678's advance.

"Run all you want Zim! I'll shoot up every hidey hole on this rock if that's what it takes to kill you!" Hobo 678 shouted from far behind them.

"He is starting to sound like Carlos-Human." Zim shuddered. "GIR! EVACUATION! NOW!"

"Yes my master!" Going into duty mode, Gir grabbed all four of the members of the group and shot away with Minimoose in pursuit.

"How far away are we?" Sophie shouted as the wind threatened to push one of them loose.

"WELL IF I DIDN'T LOSE TRACK OF TIME, IT SHOULD ONLY TAKE GIR A FEW MINUTES TO REACH THE CITY!" Zim shouted.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU FLY ALL THE WAY IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Tak shouted at the male Irken.

"BECAUSE I WANTED TO SAVE FUE LFOR LATER!" Zim replied.

"UH...GUYS?" Melissa and Sophie tried to get the attention of their Irken companions.

"THAT IS STUPID! YOU COULD HAVE COLLECTED THAT UPGRADE ALREADY!" Tak shouted back at him.

"UNLIKE YOU I THINK IN THE LONG RUN!" Zim replied.

"AND HOW LONG WAS THAT? AS LONG AS IT'S TAKE NYOU TO TAKE OVER EARTH!" Tak screeched at him.

"GUYS!" Sophie and Melissa shouted as Minimoose let out a loud 'SQUEAK!'

"WHAT?" The two Irkens snapped.

"INCOMING!" They pointed at a building that had a massive advertisement on it.

"GIR! EMERGENCY BREAKS NOW!" Zim shouted before all four of them broke into panicking screams.

Before they knew it Tank and Zim were holding each other while Melissa had fainted and Sophie just stared ahead with her jaw dropped and her skin a shade of white that made her Terenai form look like it had a tan. Gir had stopped mere inches from the bill board.

The massive advertisement showed a Veniran shaking hands with an Irken who had red eyes and wore gold and black armour. Part of the message was blown away, but the main headline still remained.

'VENIRA AND IRK, AN ETERNAL FRIENDSHIP'

Gir lowered to the roof top of a much smaller building and deposited them. Then he sat down and pulled a cupcake out of his head before he ate it as Zim and Tak realized their position and released one another. Sophie remained standing with her jaw dropped and Melissa was out like a light.

"Uh...I vote we camp for the night, it's getting late." Tak pointed towards the setting sun.

"Agreed." Zim nodded. "GIR-" Tak covered his mouth.

"Quietly," She whispered. "We're in Renora now Zim, this place will be crawling with contestants and Copy Units."

Renora was once a great metropolis that made the city planet of Irk look like a garbage dump. Its buildings were once pristine and white, with parks and canals almost outnumbering the housing buildings and businesses. The Venirans may have been a very combat prone culture, but they only fought when they saw it to be necessary at the time and focused very much on improving their quality of life. Renora would have once held tens of millions of Venirans, but now it was a waste, a shadow of the once great city.

Many buildings were in disrepair, one corner of the roof that the group was now camping on had crumbled away. The streets were littered with wreckage and massive holes. The wrecks of ships, vehicles, and even old bases had been removed over the centuries by Irkens whenever they were discovered by contestants in gladiator games or right after the Venirans were conquered. Only the ships that had no possibility of operating were left as part of the battle field.

"It looks like it used to be beautiful," Sophie whispered, breaking her terror induced silence.

"Well, we conquered it, and we don't leave things looking pretty after we're done with it." Zim crossed his arms. "Its war, it happens."

"But it looks like your races got along so well once," Sophie said. "And who is that Irken on that board? He looks taller than Red and Purple."

"Tallest Splorchamheimer," Zim's eyes narrowed.

"That's a mouth full," Sophie tilted her head.

"He was our greatest traitor! He murdered so many of his own people! I am glad that Invader Apocalyptic put him down!" Zim huffed. "No matter your height, if you betray the empire you have sealed your fate."

"Why did he betray you anyways?" Sophie asked.

"I don't know...it was centuries before I was born. Irkens can live for millions of your human years, and Splorchamheimer ruled for over two million years before he chose to betray us." Zim sat down. "I don't care, what is done is done and he got what he deserved."

Tak sat down as Zim pulled several sleeping bags out of GIR's head. Next, he went down a hole in the center of the roof into a room below and set up a tent. The room had debris that formed an easy path to the roof again. "We can rest down here while one of us takes guard."

"I'd suggest we get settled in," Tak pointed south to where clouds were moving towards the city. "Storms on Venira are dangerous."

Xxx

"WEE!" Carlos cheered as he and the group shot along the landscape in some sort of makeshift motorcycle Carlos had fashioned out of the Voot Cruiser.

"HOW DID THE HUMAN MANAGE TO DO THIS WIT HA VOOT CRUISER?" Shen shouted from where he sat behind the human as Carlos dodged around multiple trees.

Seated on the front of the motorcycle, Credaran felt exposed to the most danger. "I don't know! CARLOS HUMAN, WATCH OUT FOR THAT-"

BAM!

"OW!" The Veniran shouted as his body took the brunt of the tree, which luckily was not too thick or strong or he would have been crushed. "CAN'T YOU DRIVE THIS THING STRAIGHT?"

"DO YOU EVEN HAVE A NAVIAGTION LICENSE?" Skullene shouted, her arms wrapped tightly around Shen's midsection.

"If you mean a driver's license, then no!" Carlos cackled. "I'm a free spirit baby! And I can't let no government laws keep me down!"

Gaz, who sat on Carlos' lap again ignored the danger she and the group were in as she played her Game Slave again.

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING?" Credaran shouted.

"Why yes I do my fine alien friend! You see I managed to pin point the direction of Renora based on Zim's general direction. After that I just needed to confirm which way he was heading by fashioning that compass out of Dib's hair and a bowl of his blood!"

"I can't feel my legs..." Dib groaned from where he hung on the back between the two engines that propelled the makeshift motorcycle. Below him was a license plate that said 'I will pay you to ram this'.

"Don't worry Comrade Big Head! You'll get the feeling back in them by tonight!" Carlos said in his usual optimistic tone. "You'll be back on your feet and shouting out offensive accusations before breakfast!"

"I hate you..." Dib said, but he was blocked out by the roar of the engines and the wind.

"WOOOOOO! HOO!" Carlos drove through a shallow river, dunking Dib's head for a few seconds before clearing it. "I! AM! THE! CARLOOOOSSS!"

Xxx

It ended up raining as Tak predicted. The tent was big enough for all four of the companions and several more people if they wished. Melissa was asleep with GIR cuddling against her in his dog disguise while Minimoose turned into miniteddy to provide Sophie a way to fall asleep.

Tak and Zim were sitting cross legged, examining their respective weapons. They had scouted the building and found a single weapon pod crashed on the third floor-which was two below them. It possessed a human weapon surprisingly, a katana it was called. Tak had claimed it as her own now, and was polishing it.

Thunder roared in the distance and lightning flashed above. Their alcove provided protection and crask in the floor allowed water to drain out quickly.

"Tak...why did you kiss me?" Zim asked out of the blue.

Tak cursed as she accidently cut her thumb open on her blade. As the wound healed before her eyes, she growled. "Does it really matter? I needed to get your attention."

"Zim felt tongue."

Tak sighed. "Zim, you're the most likely to get off this planet alive, anybody who goes with you either has zero percent chance or a hundred percent chance. I'm willing to take the risk and smooch you once if that gets me out of here alive."

"Did you feel the necessity of using the tongue? Zim understands that is very...powerful if you want to seduce." Zim said. "The French kiss is what the humans call it if I am correct. Or tongue kissing...Zim forgets."

"Zim would be wise to drop it." Tak mocked Zim's use of referring to himself in the third person.

"Zim does not want to, I am curious. There would have been other ways to get my attention." Zim peered at her.

"Zim, look, it's cold and wet and I really just want to-" Zim planted his lips over hers, and she fell silent, blinking in surprise before she felt her lips part. She shivered and moved closer to Zim as he gripped her arms gently. Tak gripped the sides of Zim's head, but did not use it as leverage to separate, instead she pulled him closer, unaware of her own actions.

Zim leaned her back on the ground, not breaking the kiss. He gently gripped her wrists and forced her hands from his head and against the ground on either side of her own head. Tak moaned a bit and tried to turn her head away, but her body would not obey her command. Instead she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

But then Zim ended the kiss. Tak's eyes snapped open and she went limp as she finally got control of her body back.

Zim smirked evilly. "Now Zim sees why Tak kissed him, a French kiss does seem to work wonders."

Tak watched him as he moved back to his side of the tent and into his sleeping bag.

That was not Zim who had kissed her. It may have been his body and his decision but it was not him, it didn't suit his personality. When he smirked at her his eyes did not narrow in anger or his usual sneer but in more of an amused and interesting way. He left her with the knowledge that he got the better of her for the first time since they met.

"Splorchamheimer." She slapped herself on the forehead.

Maybe the old dumb Zim would come back tomorrow.

Xxx

End of chapter


	7. Chapter 7

Kill Zim

It's been hard to work on this a bit, that last chapter took days because...my minion has vanished. (looks to a desk with a type writer and the end of a chain attached to an opened collar is visible) That's the last time I trust him with a titanium nail file. That thing cost me a fortune! Damn it his soul belongs to me!

Carlos: (dressed n business suit) Sorry man, according to my client's files he sold his soul once in 2003 for a video game, 2005 for a bag of chips, and just seven minutes ago for a lollipop.

My Minion...(AKA: Tom): (enjoying lollipop) Yummy in my tummy. ^_^

Me:...Who did he sell it to?

Red: Alright my new minion, on to galactic domination! Without his author powers, Familiar poses no threats to us! Mwahahahahaha!

Me: Uh...anyways...Zim?

Zim: On it. To ADD Attention (anonymous reviewer), if you attempt to reveal your secrets before the conclusion of ZIM'S amazing adventure, you shall join the politicians!

Me: Where do they go?

Zim: They shall work in Zim's sugar mines! Mwahahahaha-oh and Familiar owns nothing.

Me: Damn right I do.

Xxx

"Ok Comrade Big Head, what have we learned today?" Carlos glared down at Dib, who's head was covered entirely in bandages once more- with the exception of his ears and eyes and nose.

"Mfmfffmmmff mff mffmff." Dib said in a muffled tone.

"Precisely," Carlos leaned in. "Never. Touch. My. SODA!" He held up a can of Pepsi-Caffeine free Pepsi to be precise. "You're just lucky you didn't wreck our ride again."

The group was camped out in the wreckage of what had been a Veniran ship the size of the Empire State Building in length. Credaran was looking over what little was left of old Veniran trinkets from the days of his people's freedom while the others gathered around a small fire. The ship's hull was intact enough to keep the rain water out of their section.

"How shall we pursue Zim tomorrow?" Shen asked, examining a makeshift hunting spear he had made. The Vortian was lying partially on his side, propped up on one elbow with the spear in his grasp as he touched the blade with one finger, drawing blood.

"We shall locate a vantage point and watch for Copy Troop movements first," Skullene replied, tapping the handle of her laser pistol. "If that does not produce results we shall split into teams and seek him out."

"Oh I think that won't be too useful," Skullene spun immediately and aimed her gun between the eyes of Credalan, who stared at her with a sneer.

"Uh...Cred?" Carlos tilted his head.

Credalan laughed, and suddenly flickered and was replaced by Invader Dev! "About time. Now drop the gun my dear, I'm certain you find that Veniran quite useful."

"Where is he?" Skullene hissed as Shen joined her.

The pile of objects Credalan had been examining was now left in peace.

"For the moment several of my new allies have him secured downstairs. I'm sure you'll hear him soon-" Dev started.

"YAY! WE CAUGHT A PRISONER!" A voice shouted from the bowels of the shp.

"SHUT UP! WE NEED TO BE SILENT!" The sound of the infamous Lard-Nar echoed.

"You got the Resisty to help you?" Skullene didn't sound impressed.

"Yes! The Resisty have arrived!" A short Vortian leaped into the room with four others in combat armour carrying assault rifles. Next came a massive grey skinned alien and a tall, skinnier but very strong alien that looked like some walking lizard. They carried an unconscious Credalan with them.

"Surrender your weapons Invader Skullene, and I might just spare your friend. After that we can work on finding Zim...these gentlemen have assisted me in a mutual interest. They discovered that Zim inadvertently initiated a series of events that resulted in the destruction of their capital ship." Dev frowned. "You can work on your own way off this planet, Zim is mine. Maybe if you're lucky my companions might assist you with your personal dream of murdering our leaders...though I highly doubt you would ever succeed."

Skullene lowered her pistol. "You bastard, may Apocalyptic's spirit burn you." She dropped her pistol, which one Resisty soldier collected.

Lard Nar chuckled. "Third Squad, secure the prisoners." He then spoke into his radio. "This is Lard-Nar, we have the targets secured."

"Copy that Lard-Nar, but we have Copy Units moving close by." The voice of another Resisty soldier replied over the link.

"How many have you brought here Lard-Nar?" Shen asked suspiciously, surrendering his spear, tazer, and other weapons to the Resisty.

"I have brought several dozen of my personal commandos here. As soon as Invader Zim has paid for the destruction of my ship I shall move on to the Tallest. At the moment the entire galaxy is only seeing you still gathered around your fire thanks to our cyber warfare programs, which Invader Dev took the liberty of upgrading." Shaking his head, Lard-Nar looked over Shen, who had his goggles and cloak off again. "Look at you, once the Pirate King of the Vortians and now you are reduced to this pitiful sight. Why did you abandon us to go on your vendetta? We all knew the fight would take time to finish."

"I had no time for wandering around aimlessly and trying to fight every Irken I came across Lard-Nar, I want the Tallest dead as much as you do. Do not listen to their lap dog, he will betray you in the end." Shen pointed at Dev.

"He knows better and he doesn't care about the Tallest, I doubt any respectable Irken does, what few there are." Lard-Nar shook his head. "Come back to us Captain Baron, come back to us and help us destroy the Irken Empire!"

Shen shook his head. "No Lard-Nar, I am no Captain nor am I a leader, and last I checked it was you who provided me my title. Honestly, Pirate King? That is so...so...cliche!"

"If they are not with us, they are against us Lard-Nar," Dev whispered into the vortian's ear before looking him in the eye.

At that point Dib finally noticed that Dev had an implant like Tak's, implanted into his head though of a slightly different design. "Hey, he has a-"

"Kill them, all of them." Dev smirked.

"Kill all of them," Lard-Nar snarled. "Kill them all!"

The Resisty troopers raised their rifles, and the companions backed up. Only Carlos did not move, he grinned evilly, and pulled out a single object...

A detonator, and whatever it was connected to was armed.

"Don't move or I'll do it!" The human yelled.

"Hah! I am very safe I assure you, but you on the other hand are much more fragile," Dev taunted Carlos. "Go ahead and do it."

"Alright D, it's your funeral." Carlos pulled the trigger...and the roof above Dev collapsed from several small explosions. Dev looked up as debris fell around him, along with water that began to melt through his skin. "GAH! Water!"

"You thought I was going to blow us all up?" Carlos laughed as Skullene, Credaran, and Shen leaped forward and began to disarm the five Resisty troops around them.

Credaran effortlessly slammed two of the Vortians together by the heads and then tossed them aside, taking up his own weapons and one of their laser rifles. Shen delivered an uppercut to his opponent's ribs and then tugged his weapon forward and out of his grasp before slamming the butt of the rifle across the other Vortian's face, shattering his opponent's goggles. Skullene delivered a round house kick to one Vortian's skull and then placed her hands on the ground to catch herself as she intentionally fell to avoid a shot from the fifth Vortian. She then thrust one boot into the Vortian's face, shattering his goggles and sending him flying.

"Don't. Move." Shen commanded Lard-Nar and Dev, who had moved out from under the water just before the last Resisty Vortian fell. Shen had a laser rifle locked on them, as did Credaran, and Skullene took her laser pistol back and joined them.

"Hm...I'd be scared now." Dev noted. "But...remember what the tallest said? We could find weapons, vehicles...and ships? The Resisty might not be much, but they're good scavengers."

Suddenly a medium sized ship moved into position over the crashed veniran ship, blocking the rain from entering the hole Carlos had blown in the makeshift roof. The ship was fairly angular and silver, several times the size of a bus from Earth. A hatch in the bottom opened and a beam of light shot down and illuminated the ground between Lard-Nar, Dev and the group.

"Ah, I see they succeeded in locating him. Excellent, I was counting on this." Dev giggled. "Oh I shall enjoy this."

"What are they up to?" Shen glanced at Skullene.

"I don't know..." She paused as a shape began to float down from the ship. "By Apocalyptic, I know that Irken...oh no. Get back!" The Irken grabbed Dib and Gaz around their waists and tossed them back to where Carlos now stood.

"What is it?" Credaran asked.

"Something almost as bad as Zim," Skullene shook a bit. "Zim may have accidently caused a near genocide, but this one...he causes genocides intentionally just for fun, using his own two hands."

"Who is he?" Shen asked, tensing as he crouched.

"Invader...Hellion." Skullene whispered before the shape touched the ground, going into a crouch in the light, which slowly moved over to cover Lard-Nar and Dev and began to lift them back up towards the ship.

"So the alien abduction theories were true...crap, I owe Kurt five bucks, another thing that G.I Joe Reject beat me at!" Carlos whined.

"Farewell Invader Skullene, if you survive this maybe I'll keep you as a bonus. Try not go get that pretty face scratched, I'll only let you live if you're in...reasonable condition after this." Dev blew a kiss to Skullene as he and Lard-Nar vanished into the ship.

"Ok, who isn't trying to get into your pants?" Carlos asked Skullene.

"Sadly this is the largest group that hasn't tried." Skullene replied before Invader Hellion stood up.

"Oh my god." Dib whispered after he finally got the bandages off of his head.

As far as Dib knew Irkens looked like the average green alien with antennae like in movies and were even cute to an extent or handsome in their own way. This was...demonic, the face was stretched back to reveal a massive jaw filled with massive teeth, his dark blue eyes were not wide and bug like but narrowed into near slits. His antennae were long and hang back off of his misshapen head, and his limbs were long and bony. He wore what was left of an Irken uniform's pants and a few shreds of a shirt.

He grinned. "Skullene...my angel, it has been so long."

"Hellion..." Skullene's eyes narrowed. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that."

"Oh but my angel how can I cease my affections for you? The only thing I love more than to see you get so mad...is to see your blood." Hellion looked over the group. "Yes...yes...yes, yes, Yes! Perfect!"

"Is this guy a few screws loose?" Carlos asked Skullene.

"Sounds to me like he's a freaking nut job." Dib shuddered.

"Hellion...was another of the five Irkens Tallest Miyuki created." Skullene admitted. "He worked far too well."

"Ah yes my Angel, we all remember that," Hellion giggled, running a long forked tongue over his teeth as he looked at the group like he stood in a buffet...which may have been the case now. "When I heard not only Zim, but _you_ were here, I knew there would be enough blood to drown myself in!" He moved forward on all fours, slowly extending one clawed hand and then one leg. If he stood to his full height he'd be taller than Skullene, maybe as tall as Red and Purple.

"So then my angel, how about we play a bit? Just like old times." Hellion said in a low, whispery voice.

Skullene actually shook a bit, but did not back down. "Everybody back, he's mine."

"Just don't let him get too close." Carlos advised her.

"I know how to fight him." Skullene said without looking at him.

"IT wasn't that, I don't wanna hear a story about how your own brother screwed you. Seriously, so far every single enemy I've met either wants you dead or in bed with them!" Carlos replied as he, Dib, Gaz, Credaran, and Shen fled, heading to a hole in the wall and down a makeshift ramp into the city. The rain reduced the visibility, but the flashes of laser fire were quite visible as Resisty troopers held off Copy Units as the Resisty ship above evacuated them. Lar-Nar may have shaken hands with the devil, either against his will or under Irken mind control technology's influence but he would not abandon his soldiers to die.

"That Dev guy had a mind control implant like Tak!" Dib shouted.

"Really? OW! Well I-ow guess-ow that we should-ow be more-ow careful- OW! CAN WE GET OUT OF THE RAIN? THE WATER HURTS!" Carlos shouted as water struck him and sizzled on his flesh, slowly turning it red with each second.

"Under here!" Shen threw his cloak over Carlos and kept leading him along.

"Thanks!" The obviously demonic child shouted.

Xxx

The two Irken legacies of Tallest Miyuki stared one another down as several operational camera drones came into the wreckage ,the transmission finally back up.

"So my angel, no more interruptions," Hellion and Skullene began to circle one another. "I have craved this day for so long. The feel of that beautiful, flawless flesh ripping under my hand!" He arched his back and looked to the sky, ignoring the droplets of water that slowly began to eat through his skin. "You have no idea just how much I've wanted this. I'm going to introduce you to such pain and pleasures you could not imagine possible." He stared at her with a mixture of lust and anticipation. "The armour suits you, really points out your figure."

"Thanks," Skullene grumbled. "It's a gift from Red and Purple-"

Hellion hissed. "Those geeks? I told them to stay away from my angel! SHE IS MINE! DO YOU HEAR ME TALLESTS? SHE BELONGS TO ME!" He gripped a camera drone and made it look him in the eye. "I swear if you've infected my angel with your repulsive claws I shall rip your eyes out Red! Purple if you've done anything to her either you shall join your disgusting brother!" He tossed it aside. "You are mine, my angel and I shall prove it here and now! Come to me my angel, COME TO ME!" He leaped into the air.

Skullene fired two shots, but missed the first time, and Hellion pushed off of the wall he was clinging to and the laser blew a hole through the centuries old hull. She tried to track him as he landed and rushed her. He moved impossibly fast, like some sort of demented spider, it almost frightened Skullene when she watched his blue eyes, so much like her own and Miyuki's glowing with an impossible blood lust that did not belong in a body that resembled Miyuki so much.

She fired a third time, but it shot right over Hellion when he pressed himself up against the floor, his elbows and legs sticking up at odd angles before he leaped up and tackled her. He knocked her pistol aside and pinned her to the floor, one of her wrists in each of his hands. He licked the side of her face. "So delicious my angel, battle has not ruined you!"

"Good," Resisting the urge to puke, she instead jammed one knee into Hellion's groin. The insane Irken groaned in pain and doubled over, allowing Skullene to get her hands free and drew her leg up to her chest. She kicked him in the ribs and shoved him off of her. She rolled and came up with her blaster in hand. She fired twice as he scrambled away and hid among the wreckage.

"Still as feisty as ever my angel, that is what I love you so much for, you are impossible to conquer...and I impossible to deny!" Hellion had somehow moved up to the top of the room and dropped down from a girder within seconds of hiding. He landed behind her, and she spun. He pushed her gun aside, but she spun it in her grasp and struck hi macros the face with the handle. He grabbed her gun wrist and slammed his other fist into her gut. It knocked the breath out of her, he was stronger than he looked! She recovered and twisted under the arm holding her wrist, breaking freed and leaped on Hellion's back. She looped one arm around his neck and tried to suffocate him, but he did not even react to it immediately.

He bent his arms back, once again moving them like they were spider legs and grabbed her. He tossed her over him and slammed her into the ground. He mounted her, and grabbed her knife from her belt after tossing her pistol away. When she tried to struggle he struck her on the head with the hilt, dazing her as he removed her right gauntlet and slid back the sleeve of the suit underneath it. He drew in a breath as he slid the tips of his claws over soft green flesh and then began to leave a cut with the knife, making it break the skin and draw blood.

Skullene groaned in pain as she regained her senses and tried to stop him, but his grip was like iron and her free hand did nothing to stop him as he forced the flat side of the knife to push the open wound apart. She tried not to scream as he slowly began to split the flesh of her arm open.

She searched for something to use as a weapon and gripped something long. She brought the pipe up and struck Hellion on the side of his head with it. It allowed her to get free and reverse the mount. As the cut on her arm began to heal-no longer bothered by the knife blade Skullene proceeded to hit Hellion again and again with the pipe. He spat out blood onto her, and smiled even as she hit him again. "You look good with blood on you sister, it matches your armour."

She stiffened as he began to feel her up with his hands, which she thought were pinned under her legs by now. "Will you stop trying to have sex with me?" she struck him again. "Seriously, it's really disturbing and we're trying to kill each other!"

"I can't help it my angel, you're just so..." He caught the pipe as it came down and was suddenly up and had Skullene pinned to a wall. He whispered in her ear-or whatever Irkens use to hear. "Delicious."

'Damn it, this is just S&M to this guy.' Skullene thought. 'I need a way to get out of here, need a way to my weapons!...oh crap, this better work.'

"You're right Hell...it is hard to help," She suddenly smiled seductively, and managed to move her arms enough to pull her exposed sleeve back up. She removed every plate of armour from her right arm and shoulder, and then took off her breast plate. Hellion licked his lips as she removed the armour of her left arm next. She put one hand to the zipper at her collar area and began to slowly slide it down. Hellion was now panting like a dog as he took in every inch of her. She slid the top half of the suit off; leaving her upper body in a plain dark tank top that hugged her figure. She slowly began to slide it up, resisting the urge to shudder as he felt every inch of skin he could with one clawed hand.

"Like it...my devil?" Skullene had no idea just how much of an effect this had on him.

"Yes...by Splorchamheimer yes- OOF!" She suddenly slammed one knee into his groin again and activated her spider legs, pushing both of them off the wall. Standing on a raised section of debris, she slid the top half of her suit back into place and zipped it up. She picked up her laser pistol and looked to her opponent.

"Ow...low blow my angel, low blow." Hellion slowly got up.

A single laser went through his right thigh. He fell, supported by his good leg only. "Ah...good angel, so good."

"I'd hit you again, but part of me is afraid if I hurt you anymore you'll have an orgasm." Skullene looked at him in disgust as she collected her armour and other weapons. "I'll see you later Hell," She took one of the unconscious Vortians' shirts and made it into a makeshift hood she put over her head, keeping her antennae down before she rushed towards a hole in the wall and leaped.

Hellion watched her as she jumped out of the ship, admiring every feature of her in mid jump before she vanished out of sight, dropping to the streets below. "My angel...for a moment there you had wings."

Xxx

"Man, Skull's brother is a serious freak," Dib said as the group huddled in an empty building.

"You're telling me, man I hate him more than I hate you Comrade Big Head." Carlos replied as he tried to light the pile of rags they had. The lighter he had somehow snuck onto the planet did not work. "Ok, screw it!" Suddenly fire shot out of his hands and lit the rags. Carlos began to laugh maniacally. "It's alive! Mwahahahahahaha!"

"Be quiet Carlos-Human, there are enemies all around." Shen whispered.

"Oh, sorry."

"Ok, seriously, how the hell do you do that if you're not possessed?" Dib demanded.

"That, comrade Big Head is for me to know and for you to ponder and never find out ,pursue with all you have, and then end up brutally and utterly butchered by me when you go too far." Carlos paused. "Or to put it shortly: None of your bees wax, buddy."

Xxx

For several hours the group waited in their hiding spot, using pieces of furniture and more rags to feed the fire. Shen was the one on guard, perched on the roof. The building was a rather odd design. Some sections of the roof were one story high, some two or three stories high. He was perched on a second story roof top, watching the street below. He was used to going days without sleep-he had already gone two days without it, he was good for another one or so.

There was suddenly a small 'clack', a stone against stone. He looked up to the right. There was a narrow path along the wall of the building on every floor. They were mostly for setting decorations out on, but now the best they could be used for was infiltrating this building without going on the streets. Shen slowly got up, shaking off his cloak and set his goggles on. He picked up his rifle in one hand and looked down at it. He still had several hundred shots in it, but no energy cells ,he had abandoned the few he had obtained when he was forced to surrender his weapons. With Hellion approaching he had not thought to grab anything but his own weapon. He also had the Vortian rifle, which had a full energy cell of several hundred more shots, so one enemy would be easy to dispatch. He set one foot on the stone ledge, tested it, and then brought his other leg up.

He looked down as a pair of Copy troops marched down the side walk below, and then looked forward to where the path ended out at another second story high section of the building. He kept the rifle aimed down, the stock against his left arm, which was the arm grasping the handle and trigger of the rifle. His right hand slowly went to the switch on the side of the rifle and switched it down to a low energy output, perfect for any infantry with weak or basic armour.

(If anybody is getting confused, try to imagine this. You have a building with three sections set out in a straight rectangular prism on its side. The middle section has a second floor on top. The top of the left and right sections are the precise same height and there is an edge sticking out from the middle section at the same height as the two smaller sections also. The edge is about one foot wide)

Resting his right hand under the barrel, he took cautious steps along the edge, never looking down or inside one of the windows next to him. He never once lost balance along the way, moving his legs slowly and deliberately in spite of the rain that pounded him, soaking his clothing to the flesh. Lightning flashed overhead, several bolts of it catching on a set of buildings that were hundreds of stories high. He could see the top halves of them due to the sheer amount of rain and other buildings blocking his sight ,but it was easy to tell that if the two sky scrapers were that far away and still looked big they were some of the best example of Veniran architecture before the invasion by the Irkens.

He reached the edge of the path, and paused. He released the handle of the gun and slowly ejected the energy cell, pocketing it and held the top of the gun with his left hand. He used his right hand to grip the top edge of a window sill next to him as he leaned forward, placing the tip of the empty rifle into the open. Suddenly a pair of hands snatched it out of his hands and a figure leaped away from the corner Shen had reached. It raised the rifle, and Shen did not even flinch or try to dodge. He was far too used to situations like this, so he did not instinctively tense under the gaze of the rifle...

Plus why should he be scared when it was Skullene wielding it? She looked shaken, her right arm was wrapped in some rags she must have picked up along her way, and she had a bruise on the side of her head. She slowly lowered the rifle. "You need to keep a better grip on your weapon, Captain Baron."

"The rifle was empty, it was bait." Shen replied coolly.

Skullene looked at the rifle, noticed the missing energy cell, and sighed as she handed it back to him. She had a makeshift hood over her head that was soaked and just barely kept the rain water from dissolving her where she stood. He smelled the familiar scent of Irken flesh reacting to water, and knew the wet rag was leaving her skin charred under it. "Come inside, quickly."

The Vortian led her into the nearest window and followed her in. She curled up on the floor, hissing as she tore the hood off and tossed it away. Her flesh had begun to melt away but was slowly knitting back together. It would scar until morning. Shen knelt next to her and set her against the wall. He reached into his pack and took out a towel that had come in one of the Survival Pods the group had found through their hours of trekking through Renora. He set it and several more over her as a layer of makeshift blankets and grabbed his medical kit.

"We don't have a lot of this, I think Credaran is the only one besides me who managed to find one in his supply pod." Shen held up a small hand held device. It was an Irken design based off an older Vortian design and improved upon, capable of regenerating tissue. It had saved lives by the millions in battlefields and billions in hospitals, but after every use it needed a powerful energy cell placed into it, and Shen only had the single cell he had found with it. Usually hospitals had built in generators capable of operating these Medical Devices for decades, but Shen was pretty sure he couldn't carry something that weighs several metric tons in his back pocket.

He held it to her head and activated it. A green light spilled over her as he held it close to her burns. She hissed as extended several small, insectoid appendages and began to treat her wounds. After it was done, only a faint outline of a scar was left along the back and side of her head. Now her own system would heal the scarring, and any danger was put aside.

"How did your fight go?" Shen asked.

"The bastard was more interested in screwing me than he was in killing me." Skullene shivered. "Are the others-"

"On the floor above us. The building gets taller as you go further in." Shen explained. "We set up two sections closer to the center...anywhere closer to the center was a bombed out crater or half of a room or corridor. This building must have been hit by a powerful explosive at some point."

"I can walk, I just...want a minute, I expended a lot of energy, it wasn't easy to get here." Skullene shivered again.

Shen sat next to her. For several moments the vortian remained as still as a statue, and then when he saw her obvious discomfort he closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around her.

"Shen, what are you-" Skullene paused when the vortian brought her close to him, and she felt his body heat. Vortians gave out several times as much body heat as an Irken, so he was quite comfy. She relaxed in his grasp. "I see."

"The sooner you are well enough to stand, the sooner we may inform the others of your safe return." Shen said in his usual emotionless tone. But it was obvious that the Vortian had some measure of concern for the Irken.

"Thanks." Skullene and Shen remained in silence for several minutes before Skullene sat up. "I think I'm good now."

Shen led her back towards the others to let them know the good news.

Xxx

"So this is him." A voice, female, middle aged Irken, possibly veteran.

"Doesn't look like much." Another, younger, male, possibly new recruit or has several years of service, few fire fights unless placed on front lines. Not likely, the front lines of the war chew up and spit out new fighters, and if they survive they aren't so arrogant until they've survived or won a few dozen fights.

"He's tall though, look at him." Another male, older than the second, younger than the first. May have some experience. Does not speak with open arrogance, but curiosity, some surprise but no visible emotion.

"I say we waste him now." The second voice sounded agitated, impatient.

"Alright," The female said. "Do it."

A set of red eyes snapped open to find the barrel of a laser rifle pointed in between them. The Irken holding it was looking to his two companions, a smirk on his face. "Alright!" He was the second person the Irken on the ground had heard...and he had been correct, this one was young and arrogant, thinking military status gave him everything.

A foot came up and knocked the rifle aside as the Irken looked down. A shot went off and hit a wall as the red eyed Irken rolled to his feet and reached for his weapons only o find them missing. He was not in his camp, but on the street outside. It was day light; the water was dried up by the hot Veniran sun. The red eyed Irken didn't stop to smell the daisies though, he snapped his spider legs out, and the tip of one cut through the rifle of the youngest Irken as he tried to take aim.

Placing all four spider legs on the ground ,the Red Eyed Irken shot up onto a roof as the other two Irkens fired on him. He shot up again, and by the time they realized his destination they were too late. He landed over them, one of his spider legs cut the second Irken male in half, splattering the other two with blood as the two halves of the body fell i nseperate directions.

The younger male screamed, and the female backed away, firing her rifle desperately.

"Shield!" A shield flashed to life and reflected all of the shots as the red eyed Irken advanced on the two attackers.

The young Irken spent the last moments of his life begging for mercy as the Red Eyed Irken's energy blade cut the top of his head off from above the jaw. The female Irken emptied dozens of shots into the shields before her rifle overheated and she tossed it away. She was backed into a corner now, staring with wide, frightened eyes as the Red Eyed Irken advanced on her.

She covered her face with her hands, and waited for it to end. She counted to ten, and nothing happened. She slowly looked up and saw the Red Eyed Irken standing in front of her, a cat like smirk on his face and his arms crossed.

"Combat boost." A single blow to the head and the female was unconscious.

He dragged her into an alley and left her there. Afterwards the red eyed Irken looked up at the sky and smirked. Sunny, no clouds, no chance of rain now. "Perfect."

Then a sense of dull pain from the head. The Irken put one hand on the side of his head. "Ah...oh...dear Tallest Splorchamheimer..."

That name rang a bell.

Xxx

_A pair of blue eyes stared down at him. The Irken above him wore a grey and black battle uniform of an Irken Invader, an empty blade sheath hanging on his back and various wounds covering parts of him. Part of his uniform's upper section was torn away, and the green flesh was forcing out shards of metal as the Irken frowned. "Why?"_

_Why? Why what?_

"_Why this?"_

_What did he mean?_

"_Why ...why did you make me do it?"_

_He didn't even know this Irken, why was he asking these questions._

"_I..." The Red Eyed Irken's mouth moved without his command. "...had to, to save...what is being threatened."_

"_What was it?" The blue Irken stood at an average height of an invader, a little taller actually, almost as tall as Red or Purple but had the build of a warrior. "This planet? These barbarians?"_

_The red eyed Irken chuckled humourlessly. "You always had the sharpest eye, but you were always entirely blind at the same time. No, not for these people...for ours."_

"_What is wrong with our people? We are the greatest empire ever! The Tallest have led us to victory over all who dare to stand against us just as they have this day! Our rule grows with each victory!" The Blue Irken actually began to cry a bit, now on his knees. "Why did you have to do it brother? Why did you when you knew they'd send me?"_

_The red eyed Irken sucked in a breath. "That attitude is precisely why I did it. It is because of what our empire is...because of what it twisted me into. I couldn't bear to stand by and watch it turn you too, or the trillions of others who stand at the ready to murder on command." The red eyed Irken raised one hand, and gently stroked the side of the younger Irken's face. "This planet was the means to the solution...but the reason I was so happy to defend it...is because of the planet itself..." The Red eyed Irken looked away from the blue eyed one and looked towards a nearby city where Irken ship were burning it to the ground with lasers. "If I must die...can I at least ask you a favour?"_

_Nodding, the Blue Irken managed to speak. "Yes, you deserve that much at least."_

"_Good...take me into the city when the fire stops falling...there is one place I want to go before it ends." The Red Eyed Irken looked to his chest where the Blue Irken's sword stuck out of it._

_The blue eyed irken nodded. "Very well."_

_As the blue eyed Irken set him down in a seat, the vision ended._

Xxx

Zim awoke with a yawn. He sat up, and groaned a bit. "Ah...Zim's joints ache."

"Zim has a funny way of talking." Zim stuck his head out of the tent and glared at Sophie, who was eating an apple she had found in her pack when it was delivered to her like Zim had received his snacks and soda for surviving.

"Zim will head for the source of the upgrade within the hour." Zim announced as he stood up. "Does anybody have a problem with that?"

"Nope." Melissa shrugged.

"Nope." Sophie said after swallowing.

"Nope." Tak was sitting on a rock, sharpening her knife.

"Good." Zim went to grab something to eat.

Xxx

"Welcome back to 'Kill Zim'!" Red announced. "Last Night we experienced a communications black out in Renora, but don't worry, we got a good view of a fight between Invaders Skullene and-yes, I am serious, Hellion!"

The fight played out.

"Man, looks like Hellion had something besides fighting on his mind, and Skullene played on that perfectly." Purple giggled as several wolf whistles played out during Skullene's strip tease...and then groans of sympathy as she kneed Hellion in the testicles again and sent him flying. "Well, looks like if you want to storm that tunnel you'll want some heavy artillery!" Several laughs were shared.

"We're all a little confused as the infamous Invader Hellion was supposed to be incarcerated...but what the hell, he's there and hopefully he'll die with Zim!" Red shrugged, the audience cheered at this news.

"We'll be bringing you every main moment of 'Kill Zim', so don't turn that channel!" Red pointed at Camera One.

"Yeah, or we'll invade your planet!" Purple shouted.

Xxx

"I sense...a disturbance...in the-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Dib shouted in Carlos' face.

"..."

"..."

"...Carlos."

"DAMMIT!" Dib's voice echoed for miles.

Several moments of silence. "...Big Head?"

"What is it?" Dib snapped.

"...you just blew our cover." Carlos pointed out the window next to them to where two Copy Ships were flying towards their building.

"We're back to business, everybody up!" A healed Skullene grabbed her weapons, as did the rest of the group-Gaz grabbed her Game Slave.

"Alright then," Carlos then pulled a bazooka out of his back pocket.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?" Dib shouted.

"Girl Friend Number 2." Carlos held up the picture of a blonde girl and kissed the photo. "Love you too baby." He suddenly smirked evilly. "Alright, now, let's do it!"

He ran to the window and locked onto one ship. "I! AM! THE! CARLOS!" He fired.

Xxx

End of Chapter


	8. Chapter 8

Kill Zim

Me: Welcome back to Kill Zim, I'm Familiar47 and this is Kurt!

Kurt:...

Me: So how does it feel to be here Kurt?

Kurt: (uses sign languages) (translates to: Dear lord why the hell did I let you talk me into coming here.)

Me: Uh...Carlos?

Carlos: I'll translate...uh...(lies) Oh thank the lord I came here, it's so awesome. (mouths an apology to Kurt)

Kurt: (flips Carlos the bird)

Carlos: KURT! (pulls out flame thrower and chases him off stage)

Xxx

"Ok, so let me get this straight. You want us to go...down there?" Tak pointed down.

The group had arrived at the area around the two sky scrapers in the center of the city. The sky scrapers were as bad as the area around them. The only way into them was the underground garage entrance...and the level of the city the entrances were on were flooded.

"Yes. The data says the hatch is down there. I tried to do that but water doesn't work for Irkens and I have no paste with me," Zim shrugged.

"You use paste to protect yourself?" Tak asked.

"Hey it works! One time Dib was going to take a picture of me running out of a pool screaming. Man you should have seen how mad he was!" Zim laughed. "Everybody thought he was going nuts when he yelled 'why isn't he burning'! They all thought he was talking about a sun burn. One kid said' because he's wearing sun screen stupid'." Doubling over, Zim slapped one knee.

"Ok...I don't d owater." Melissa shook her head.

"Why not? You're human ,you can handle it." Zim said.

"Yeah...a mutant with lightning powers. LIGHTNING." She held up her hands.

"...I don't see the big deal." Zim shrugged.

"Uh...I don't want to die?" Melissa tried to explain.

"Fine, we'll find another way Ms Selfish." Zim rolled his eyes.

"Uh...you guys know I could do it, right? I change into aliens for a living and I have just the thing for this." Sophie said.

"Ok, she does it." Zim pointed a thumb at Sophie.

"Ok...I'll have to change in private, I can't change into this particular form with anything on." Sophie blushed, scratching the back of her head. "Turn around Zim. Now."

Zim sighed and did so. Tak screeched. "Oh good Splorchamheimer that is hideous! Oh my-" She gagged. "So that's what a human looks like when crossed with a Splarchamplast!"

"A what?" Melissa asked.

"It's one of the biggest predators on the Ocean world of Waterparkonia!" Tak replied. "Ok it's done."

Zim turned around and saw what looked like a massive squid. It had one big eye on its body that blinked as it stared at Zim. Melissa was holding Sophie's clothes.

"Ok, now in the data the entrance used to be in an old lot before the empire built this over it. They were going to use it as a base but they decided to just pack up and leave after it was done." Zim shrugged. "I know for a fact the Venirans used mechanical systems to handle floods, they had rain storms like last night on many occasions. I HAVE THE DATA!" He paused as he yelled to the sky. "Er...just go into the main section of the garage and find the hatch, open it...and try not to get sucked in, that stuff gets into the water system so there most likely is a...uh...filter there...in the form of something most likely deadly to giant squids."

Sophie-Squid nodded and dove in.

"Uh...why didn't we just er...wait until it all goes out?" Gir asked.

"Huh?" Zim looked at his robot before the giant Squid broke the surface, beign attacked by another giant squid. "By Splorchamheimer! Another Splarchamplast!"

"How do you even pronounce that?" Melissa asked.

"Oh, I can pronounce a lot of difficult words. Like-" Zim proceeded to pronounce a word that could not be deciphered into any form of English. "And that's how I killed the donkey."

"Uh...ok..." Melissa looked to the squid fight, which ended, and after several minutes the water began to drain.

"Ah! The water is draining! The squid has served me well." Zim smirked. "Now to find those upgrades!"

The group climbed down to the wet cement below and crossed the small road to the garage entrance.

"Hold it buddy, wait until Sophie gets changed!" Melissa stopped Zim and went into the garage.

"Can't she do it on the way down?" Zim asked.

"Zim...you have a lot to learn about women." Tak smacked herself in the face.

"Huh?"

Xxx

"Ok, was it really necessary to do that Carlos?" Dib asked.

"Shut up and keep burying those bodies." Carlos commanded.

"Why do I have to do it?" The human asked as he continued to bury the bodies of dozens of soldiers.

"Because these are soldiers, and you are most disrespectful to them just because of them being aliens." Carlos glared at him. "And if you make a crack about them being 'alien scum' I will poke a hole in your head and let all that hot air out!"

"Can't anybody help me at least?" Dib asked, in the process of dropping dirt on the body of a Planet Jacker Carlos had mutilated with his bare hands.

"Sorry man, I'm a lover not a digger." Carlos shrugged.

"LOVERS DON'T BLOW UP PEOPLE!"

"In your words ,they weren't people, but 'alien scum'." Carlos crossed his arms. "Ha! Better to shut your mouth and let people think you're an idiot instead of opening and letting people 'know' you're an idiot...and your head is big."

"Game Slave. Busy. Shut up." Gaz said.

"Even though they're soldiers I just don't like you well enough to help you." Shen shrugged.

"I would Comrade Big Head, but I am busy here." Credaran was trying to piece together a tablet of Veniran pictures.

"Yeah you'd probably help if they were dead Veniran ladies!" Dib growled.

"Oh that's just uncalled for!" Skoodge said. "I was gonna help but now I'm just gonna go help Skullene."

Nearby, Skullene was trying to fix their makeshift rocket cycle. "Ok..."

"Ok! That...is the last...body!" Dib gasped for breath, finishing the job.

"Ok...does anybody want to say a few words?" Shen asked. "They were soldiers doing their duty after all."

"They were bounty hunters trying to kill us with weapons used BY soldiers!" Dib raged.

"You know you have got a real grudge problem. No wonder nobody on your planet likes you." Carlos shook his head.

"I don't hate him, but that comment about Veniran women has really alienated me now." Skoodge sniffed. "I knew A veniran slave, she was my only friend. And the guards killed her for no reason!"

Carlos hugged the crying Irken. "There there, it's alright little green dude."

"you'll see! I'll prove to it that aliens exist to the world! They'll love me and they'll have ot listen to me and my...crazy...nonsense...thingies!" Dib shouted.

"Has he ever been committed to a mental ward?" Skullene whispered to Gaz.

"Sadly no, dad wouldn't let anybody give him the shock treatment...he had a point though, that crap never works." Gaz shrugged.

"are you kidding me? My girl friends do it all the time because they like it when they scream?...now you're telling me it wasn't to get the madness in me?...I have never felt so hot for them until now." Carlos grinned.

"Uh...I think they're just into S&M like Skullene's insane brother/stalker." Dib said.

"Yeah, this coming from the boy who has probably never even had a girl friend. Hey ,since you have a big mouth to go with that big head is it even physically possible for a girl to kiss it?" Carlos asked. "OR does she have to 'stretch it out'." He emphasized this by opening his mouth wide with his hands on either side of it.

"Oh shut up and I'll say a few words." Dib grumbled. "Uh...attention people of earth...and other people...of other earths...we are here today...to pay our first and final respects to these bounty hunters who tried to kill us-"

"Hey, if you can't say 'dearly departed' then sit down and shut up." Carlos cut him off.

"Ok, dearly departed...but before we continue I want everybody to know just why I shall always be there to defend Earth from alien threats-"

"Skip it." Everybody said at once.

"Fine...uh...lots of people have their ideas about how the universe started...mostly about how their god made it and everybody else sucks but we still need to understand them for it. How...somebody came down from the sky-" Dib suddenly slipped. "Ah! Where'd that banana peel come from?"

"Wasn't me." Carlos shrugged before there was a loud 'gulp'. "Oh no...no...it can't be..."

Ignoring him, Dib shouted. "Ok, short version. A guy came down from the sky and said 'Funerals suck! Go on your insane quest, burning and blasting alien scum and...uh..yeah yeah...whatever...amen."

"Strangely that's not the worst speech I've ever heard." Skullene commented dully.

"YOU!" Carlos shouted.

"What I do now?" Dib asked.

"Not you, YOU!" Carlos pointed up to a figure sitting on the crumbling walls of the building they were in.

"Where did he come from?" Shen asked, reaching for his rifle.

"He came down from the sky!" Dib shouted. "HE CAME DOWN FROM THE SKY!"

All three aliens fired on the figure at once, but it leaped down and dodged every shot with unbelievable speed. Suddenly Credaran was unarmed, and then Shen, and Skullene found herself struggling with a human Carlos' size for her pistol. The human looked oddly familiar.

"KURT! YOU LITTLE- How did you get here?" Carlos pointed at Kurt as he leaped back, leaving Skullene with her pistol.

Kurt made various hand signs.

"Really? Oh man why didn't I try that? Man that's brilliant!" Carlos smacked his own forehead.

"Who is he?" Dib asked.

"This, Big Head, is my ultimate nemesis, my eternal enemy, the ultimate harbinger of chaos and doom, the black hole of all resumes, and the guy who insulted me in front of my girl friends and beat my high score in Vampire Piggies." Carlos said darkly. "Kurt."

"Wait, that Kurt?" Gaz looked up. "The guy with the highest score in Vampire Piggies online?"

Kurt nodded.

"Oh yeah, he whooped my online butt in that game." Carlos said.

Xxx

_TehCarlos slowly stepped into the keep, gripping a large spear. His cloak swirled behind him as his hat tilted down over his eyes. He tiled it back up. "Yes, where ever the prey goes the hunter is not far, whether it is in the concrete jungle of the city, the animal infested forests, the fish and shark infested ocean, or the retirement homes infested with smelly old people-who really did not like it when I called them that I shall never be far behind." He announced. "And now...where are you..."_

_Suddenly a gong sounded._

"_What the- uh oh!" suddenly a piano felon TehCarlos, crushing him. Up above, Kurtizawesome wiped his hands off on a towel and leaped down on a chain from the balcony above. He rushed up the stairs and went into the final room where he easily dispatched Count Pigula._

"_No, he got to the final boss! He beat my high score! Curse you little brother, you broke my save button!" Carlos shouted to the sky, looking at the broken 'save' button on his controller. "Oh and curse you Kurt, you glory stealing, crazy, awesome game player." He shook his fist at the screen. Suddenly Kurt appeared on it and gave him the finger. "CURSE YOU! Let it be known from this day forward that no matter where you hide, real world or games I'll be there to blow you right out of existence!" Carlos paused. "But first off I'm gonna get some onion rings."_

_Kurt looked over the top of his laptop at Carlos, who sat across from him at a table in a cafe. As Carlos walked away Kurt shrugged and kept playing._

_Xxx_

"And I did...man those were some good onion rings." Carlos rubbed his stomach. "Oh. Wait. Nemesis. YOU! KURT!" He pulled out a flame thrower. "DIE!"

Carlos proceeded to chase Kurt around the warehouse as the group watched. They both leaped to impossible heights, busted through walls and debris, until Carlos began to corner him.

"I got you now- uh oh!" Kurt had grabbed Carlos by the neck. "Ow! Oh! Wait- sorry! Ow!" Kurt proceeded to swing Carlos up and down into walls and the floor. "Ok ok! I'm sorry Kurt! OW! Oh for the love of god- ow I forgot I can't say that word! Oh come on Kurt what ae buddies for- AH!" Kurt suddenly tossed Carlos up into the air. "Uh...mommy."

Suddenly as he fell down, Kurt swung his foot up and let Carlos land on it...it hit him in the fork o0f his legs.

"Eep." Carlos fell off the leg.

"Ow, that had to hurt." Dib winced.

"Uh... I assume he just hit Carlos in his testicles." Shen said.

"He did," Dib nodded.

"Gah...ok Kurt ,maybe I was a little...rushed, how about we just get off the planet and THEN I kill you?" Carlos asked.

Kurt made hand signs.

"Thanks bro ,you're the best." Carlos collapsed. "Mommy? I don't want to go to school again, Ms Bitters will eat me."

"So he DID go to school with Ms Bitters." Dib said.

"Don't think this is over Kurt, I'll bat your score if its the last thing I do." Gaz said.

"How do you know him?" Dib asked.

"He beat me too." Gaz admitted shamefully.

"Somebody beat you at vampire piggies?" Dib asked.

"Little Big Head...like I said...ultimate harbinger of chaos and doom..."Carlos took a breath. "Doom!"

Kurt made hand signs and then waved in good bey before he leaped up to the top of a wall and then leaped out of sight.

"Where is he going?" Dib asked.

"He said he has a plan to get us home, but he needs a while to work on it, a few months at least." Carlos said. "For now he'll focus on making sure he can find a place to work without the Tallest watching him."

"This isn't over. When this is through I am challenging him to a rematch in vampire piggies." Gaz growled.

"Good luck little girl, if I, TehCarlos could not beat him you won't stand a chance at all." Carlos said.

"Wait...TehCarlos...you! you're the one who beat me two years, four months, and six days ago!" Gaz jabbed a finger at him.

"Yeah...that was more of an accident, you got in the way." Carlos shrugged. "I was going for Kurtwuzawesome. How does it feel to know you got both Carlos'd and Kurt'zd, pretty lame I bet!"

"You're next on my list." Gaz hissed.

"Ooh, scary...I like it." Carlos grinned before the group moved on. "Wait...I sense...a di-"

"Oh we get it already! A disturbance in 'the Carlos', man that's annoying." Dib said.

"You know, I thought by now you learned your lesson not to provoke 'The Carlos'." Carlos said. "Do not taunt 'The Carlos'."

"Or what?" Dib asked.

"Look up." Carlos pointed up.

"Oh what could possibly- AH!" Dib looked up and began to scream.

Five seconds later.

Dib was on the ground, extra crispy and twitching. "Mommy? I wnna go chase the Leprechauns again."

"I told him not to provoke 'The Carlos'." Carlos said.

"What was that anyways?" Skoodge asked.

"That my fine green friend is a secret you don't want to know, for now just call it...The Carlos." Carlos grinned.

"I may have to take 'The Carlos' more seriously now." Shen whispered. "Especially with this Kurt in the play now."

Xxx

"Welcome back to 'Kill Zim'." Red said. "Another unknown player has stepped onto the field and gave Carlos the whooping of his life." The screen showed the painful attack on Carlos. "Ooh! Man that last one had to hurt! Let's replay it." It replayed the moment where Carlos came into contact with Kurt's leg. "Oh look at his face!"

"That will ruin his weekend!" Purple giggled.

"Now back to the field!"

Xxx

"AH! MY BRAINS! IT IS DRINKING MY BRAIN SOUPS!" Zim screamed as the leech that latched onto his head proceeded to suck blood from him. The Irken ran around. "BY ALMIGHTY SPLORCHAMHEIMER GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!"

"Hold still Zim!"

"Hold on!"

"Grab it!"

His three companions tried to assist their companion. Soon Sophie managed to persuade the Leech to let go of Zim by somehow speaking to it in its own language.

"You speak to Leeches?" Melissa asked. "What else can you speak to?"

"I won't talk to your cat." Sophie said before Melissa could even ask.

"Dang."

"Alright Zim, you led us this far, where is it?" Tak asked.

Rubbing his head where the Leech bit him, Zim led them deeper into the garage. "Right...here!" He tapped a section of the wall. "Stand back! ACTIVATE DISRUPTORS!"

After a brief flash of light the wall was shattered and so was the hatch behind it.

"Perfect..." They entered the tunnel beyond it one at a time.

Zim put one hand on his head as they went in deeper and deeper. He stumbled a bit.

"Zim, are you alright?" Tak asked, supporting him.

"I...memory data..." Zim groaned. "Reacting..."

"Looks like Soldier Ess was here." Tak noted, going deeper and deeper until they reached a circular room.

On the floor was a set of clothes and armour, gold and black and fit for somebody of great stature, even greater than Red and Purple yet with muscle. The controls were inoperable by now, except for one screen that remained lit at the master controls near the armour.

"This is it." Zim moved away from Tak and to the controls. He sat in the chair and extended one cord from his PAK.

The screen said 'Initiate Data Transfer?'

He plugged in. "Initiate Data Transfer."

"**Data Transfer in progress, thank you Irken Spuh-uuuuuuuuuurrrrrk..." **The name was once again blocked out partially.

Zim took a deep breath...

And then screamed, writhing in the chair as even more memory files were transferred to him.

"MASTAH!" GIR tried to rush to his master's aid, but Tak held him back with help from Minimoose-who tried turning into Minipig to calm GIR but with no success.

"GAH! MEMORY! SPLOR!" Zm groaned, and then said in a blank tone. "System inappropriate for Data Transfer, initiating Upgrade-KRRRRR!" He breathed out through clenched teeth and then fell over, his face planting on the screen before him.

For several moments all was silent, and then the computer 'beeped'.

"**Data transfer complete."**

"Get him out of there!" Tak rushed forward and unhooked Zim. With help from Melissa she moved him away from the controls.

"Zim! Zim! Oh Splorchamheimer he's going into hibernation! If he does he might go into shut down next!" Tak produced two legs from her PAK. "Flip him!"

Melissa and Sophie turned Zim over, and Tak opened a panel in his PAK and worked to save Zim. After several minutes she shut the panel. "I managed to stop the shutdown process, but he'll be out for a few minutes."

"Well in that case we'd better-" Sophie was cut off when a crack appeared in the floor.

All three looked down, eyes wide. Then they exchanged a single glance before the floor collapsed under them, making them fall with a mix of debris and circuitry. They screamed as a surface shot up to meet them.

Xxx

Several minutes later Dib ran into the control room, followed by the rest of his group. "Ah ha! Step away from that...com...puter...Zim." He lowered his hand as he realized the room was empty. "...crap."

He saw the hole in the floor. "He must have gone through here!" He leaped in. "You just wait Zim, I'll get you!..." His voice faded away as the group gathered around the hole.

After several seconds Carlos heard a 'plop'. "Uh...I think there's water...I don't do water."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Oh well in that case-HAI!"

She shoved Carlos, and he looked back at her as he began to tip over the edge. "Oh you b-" He fell over. "AH!-" SPLASH!

After several moments of silence, Carlos yelled. "IT'S OK! THE SHALLOW KNEE DEEP WATER BROKE MY FALL! AND AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Let's go." Skullene leaped down next, hoping she landed on her feet.

Xxx

"_Yes, good, thank you." The blue eyed Irken set the taller red eyed one down on a seat. "How long would you say I have?" His hands were covering the hole in his gut, which was not healing due to his damaged PAK._

"_Several minutes." The Blue Eyed Irken sounded dead on his feet, his shoulders slumped and he was looking down._

"_Good enough." The Red Eyed one took a disk out of his PAK and placed it in the console. "Now...this is my final gift to the True Irken Race..." He smiled. "I doubted I would live to see the day things turn better...but I am not sad...I do not blame you for my death...Invader Apocalyptic."_

"_Please...just Apoc," Apocalyptic smiled sadly. "I feel bad enough without that ridiculous title."_

"_Very well." The Red Eyed Irken extended a cord from his PAK. "As soon as this transfer is done...I will shut down. Take my PAK, hide it for as long as need be, perhaps when it is bonded yet again to my heir may we do something about the state of our empire."_

"_I am sorry that I did not try to help you sooner, instead I followed orders blindly." Apocalyptic shook his head._

"_Is there any last words...brother?" The tall red eyed Irken asked._

"_Just one...good bye...big brother." Apoc shook as he tried not to cry._

_The red eyed Irken inserted the cord into place, and gently hugged the younger Irken, who broke down and cried into the armoured plating as the Red eyed Irken downloaded the last fragment of his very being into the computer._

"_There...it is done...I'm sorry...I couldn't stay...little Apoc." Then the Irken went limp in Apocalyptic's arms._

_Apocalyptic gently set him down and turned him over. Removing the PAK from the body, he bowed his head. "I shall not fail you...my Tallest."_

_He rushed out of the room as the body began to break down, beginning a two hour period of degeneration. Apoc didn't look back as he left the room ,and sealed the door behind him._

_Xxx_

Zim's eyes snapped open.

"Ah ha! We found you!" Dib, he was here? Damn it he was so bothersome!

"Ooh, shiny!" Carlos-Human...shiny?

"Carlos!" Melissa-human.

"Mel!"

"Where is Zim?" Dib shouted.

"Stay away for your own good human!" Tak hissed.

"Where'd you get that armour? Is that Zim's upgrade?" There was Skoodge. "Looks a little big for him, where is he anyways?"

Zim slowly began to rise. He had been hidden in a small tunnel branching off from the cavern. Tak yelled. "Don't any of you dare come near!"

"Tak, we do not seek to harm Zim, in fact we seek an alliance with him!" Skullene was trying to reason with Tak. "I swear upon Miyuki's memory I would not dare harm him."

"Speak for yourself, where is he anyways?" Dib demanded.

Zim slowly stepped into the light of a fire. Sophie and Tak blocked Dib, Shen, Credaran, and Skullene from getting near a set of golden and black armour...the ones they found in the control room...

The fire was dimming, going out bit by bit. Zim made his move.

"Dib, we have discovered something amazing, we won't let you destroy it for your own interests!" Tak growled. "Now back away or I'll kick your ass! You know you can't take me!"

The fire went out. Carlos and Melissa had been standing off to the side in a lip lock with full tongue. Carlos paused and broke it. "Crap. I got it."

A simple flick of the hand and he sent a jet of fire into the pile, lighting it up again.

"The armour's gone!" Sophie gasped.

"Which of you did it?" Tak glared at Skullene and her alien companions. "Give it back now!"

"We did nothing Invader Tak, I doubt we would have had the time." Shen said, remaining calm and cool.

"Everybody stop for a minute!" Skullene spread her arms. "Tak...what did you find?"

"They found me," The entire group paused as the voice hissed from the shadows.

"Zim?" Tak whimpered.

"The one and only, my dearest Tak." Zim's tone was just like how it had been during his personality changes: smooth, alluring, intelligent. "Give me a moment...this armour is a little big."

"Uh...Zim? I looked at that armour and it was way too tall for you." Skoodge, who seemed oblivious to the situation said.

Zim chuckled. "Skoodge my dear friend, that won't be a problem."

Suddenly he stepped out of the shadows. He tossed his Invader uniform-a pair of boots, black pants and a red shirt with pink sleeves and a pink collar onto the cave floor. He now wore a plain black body suit that had adjusted to hug his figure, and over it he wore a pair of armoured gold and black boots, a gold and black Irken battle suit, gauntlets, and even had the black robe with gold lining attached to the suit. He stared at the group with a look that would make one think of a smiling feline that was playing with its food.

"That armour...those eyes..." Tak, Skoodge, and Skullene took several steps back as Tak spoke. "I recognize it now...good Splrochamheimer-"

"Why thank you, Invader Tak," Zim said. "I believe I've been gone for a long time...and I see my little coup did not make much of a stir in the Empire." He brushed dust off of his armour. "So tell me...where can a Tallest get a good drink around here? I feel like I haven't drank in ages."

The Almighty Tallest Splorchamheimer, Soldier 'Ess', murderer of countless Irkens, betrayer of all the Empire stands for, and the greatest traitor in the history of Irk laughed at the shocked faces of the gathered aliens. "What's wrong? Splor got your tongue?"

Xxx

End of chapter.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN! O_O

At first Splorchamheimer was just going to be a random curse word...but I built on it. Yippe for me! ^_^...^_^'

Read and review or Splorchamheimer shall kill you.


	9. Chapter 9

Kill Zim

Skullene: All rise for the honourable Judge Kick Ass

Judge Kick Ass: Be seated...now...tell me...what the eff is wrong with you guys? Soul selling? Really.

Me: UH...well Tom promised his soul to me...and four other people...so we need this cleared up your honour.

Judge Kick Ass: I see...Skullene, you're my muscle for this case, right?

Skullene: Right.

Judge Kick Ass: Hunt down all five people Tom owes his soul to along with their lawyers, the last one standing gets to both live and gets Tom's soul.

Skullene: Yes! (gets dressed up in predator outfit and turns invisible)

Me/Red/Other Soul Keepers/Lawyers: O_O Meep!

Carlos: Heh, I aint scared!

Skullene: (rips on Soul Keeper's head off) Familiar47 owns nothing!

Kurt: O.O (backs out of room)

Me: Every man for himself!

Red: Protect the donuts!

Me: Be warned, there isn't a lot of comedy in this! It's a more serious chapter!

Xxx

"Tallest Splorchamheimer..." Tak gasped, staring in awe at what had once been her most hated enemy for so many years. "You...you're..."

"Please, don't call me that. Splorchamheimer died in the control room above. I am Zim now, as I have been since I was born." Zim examined the armour he wore-he must have used the systems within it to reset it to a more appropriate size for him since it was about three or four feet shorter than it used to be. "And my recovery is not yet complete; I cannot call myself a Tallest until I surpass those blasted fools Red and Purple."

"Wait, I don't get it. You are an utterly loyal Irken to the Tallests, you even saved them from me! Why would you be Splorchamheimer's reincarnation?" Skullene asked.

"Think back Invader Skullene. In my life as Tallest Splorchamheimer, I strove to defeat my own empire with help from the Veniran Empire and damn near succeeded. I killed billions of Irken Zealots in the name of changing the empire for the better, and in my life as Zim..." He held up one hand and uncurled his thumb. "I caused a black out that destroyed countless smeets." He uncurled his index finger. "I caused an entire Battle Ship to crash into a sun by remote control. I destroyed half of Devastis and almost brought doom upon Irk. Everybody, even I thought that it had been random clumsy acts of a Defect...or from my point of view the valiant power of an Irken Invader. But in reality..."

He turned and tapped his PAK twice. "It was this that drove me to do it. The PAK of Tallest Splorchamheimer, preserved by his own brother and murderer the Invader Apocalyptic. Apoc placed the PAK within the system and rigged the birthing process that upon the creation of a Smeet who matched Splorchamheimer's genetic descendants, the PAK would attach to this new, perfect copy of Splorchamheimer. If you recall for most of his early decades Splorchamheimer was well below the average height until the middle of the first century of his life, from which point he grew over the course of three centuries to the rank of Tallest."

Beginning to stroll back and forth, Zim continued to admire his armour. "The PAK itself may seem obsolete, as it has not been upgraded until recently for five full centuries. More proof of a defect to cover my growth. Apocalyptic and Splorchamheimer were friends for millions of years, they saved the empire together from the Meekroobians at one point, and even upon being struck down by one another they continued to act as brothers...if you recall not all Irkens used to be cloned at one point."

"Irkens used to actually...uh...you know...mate?" Tak asked.

"Quite often, but then came the use of the Control Brains and they began to 'perfect' the Irken race, butchering a once proud species. I watched as my people became lazy, disgusting and war hungry. I swore to do everything I could to defy these computers." Zim growled. "And even death cannot claim my memory, for now I have returned as Zim. I am ashamed that I am the cause for Miyuki's death though, it appears my urge to destroy the Empire...subconsciously pushed me to kill her too. She was a proud Irken, one of few remaining..."

Zim opened a compartment in his belt and revealed a small projection device. "And Splorchamheimer's mate." The image showed Splorchamheimer in his prime, impossibly tall and powerful, and barely reaching his ribs, was a tall blue eyed Irken that winked at the camera. It was Miyuki before she had ascended to the rank of Tallest! Splorchamheimer-in the recording crouched down and scooped Miyuki up. The female Irken giggled soundlessly and wrapped her arms around his neck as they kissed.

"Wait, so you two...actually...wait, how old was Miyuki when she died?" Dib asked.

"Usually you don't ask that Comrade," Carlos whispered.

"She was several millennia old... I was well into by sixth millionth year when we met." Zim smiled sadly. "She shall be missed, especially by me, she almost did what I wanted to do, if not for my foolishness the galaxy would be a better place...but what is done is done, I can't remain in the past forever." He sighed, putting it away. "Besides...I have not lost all of my family." He looked at Skullene. "Skullene, do you recall your creation?"

"Yes, Tallest Miyuki had myself and four other Irkens created based upon her own image, adding some different characteristics to make them..." Skullene hesitated.

"Unique." Zim finished for her. "Unique in the way most Irkens can never hope to be. You are no clone Skullene..."

He produced another projector, and the image showed something that made jaws drop. It was something no alien or Irken had ever seen.

Splorchamheimer and Miyuki, who was slightly taller than she used to be but nowhere near his height still. Splorchamheimer had his arms wrapped around her waist, and she was cradling a pair of bundles in her arms wrapped in blue blankets.

"You, Skullene...are an heir of Miyuki and Splorchamheimer. You were born only two years before my defection to the Veniran empire. You and your brother Hellion were the youngest of our five children...and possibly the last naturally born Irken. Miyuki made excuses most likely, saying you were modified to be a soldier and only a soldier, and drilled it into your head to be this way so you would not die. I did similar things with your other siblings before I wiped their memory of me. Around the time each of you were born natural birthing had been deemed illegal by the Control Brains. But genetic experimentation was acceptable, including the cloning of certain Irkens."

"You- you mean she...I...I was her...Miyuki was my..." Skullene fell to her knees as she raised one hand. Zim placed the projector in her outstretched hand and knelt next to her as various images appeared from the device.

It showed Skullene and her 'siblings' in various stages of aging and training. Most of them were security recordings, but there was always a picture of each child being held by their parents.

"Yes, Miyuki was your mother, and Splorchamheimer was your father." Zim placed a comforting arm around the former Invader. Skullene's antennae dropped, her shoulders slumped, and she had a devastated expression on her face. "You and Hellion are the last naturally born Irkens aside from your three other siblings."

"Dude...you're telling me a race numbering in the trillions hasn't had the chance to 'get some' for over five hundred years? Man, no wonder those two tall Irkens are so retarded, the ynever went through middle school...or sex ed." Carlos said, breaking the tension.

"They did go to school, but they spent most of their time peeking in the girl's locker room." Tak said dully.

"Oh, so they didn't know but they were curious." Carlos paused and added quickly. "But that doesn't excuse them for all this. Those guys are effed in the head."

"And I shall see them dead." Skullene shook with anger as she got up. "They've dragged my mother's empire down and the control brains have had it coming ever since they killed my father."

"And we shall destroy them, together." Zim said. "But first...we have company."

The group turned towards the lake that covered most of the cavern-which had some components of machinery sticking out of the walls. Several figures leaped down. One was the massive Planet Jacker Lorak, the next was Sergeant Hobo 678, followed by Sizz-Lor, who hovered over the water on a jet pack, and finally Invader Dev, Lard-Nar and several Resisty Fighters that rappelled down on lines.

"Oh well lookie here, the trash of the universe," Zim sneered. "A giant from a race of planet stealing parasites, a pathetic excuse for a Sergeant, an idiotic chef who should be doing his job, brainless freedom fighters, and leading the who is leading the whole circus, it's the Lap Dog himself."

"Green One has fancy armour. Will make no difference." Lorak cracked his massive knuckles together. "Ruined plan and almost made sun go out. Green one will die."

"Get as tall as you want Zim, your green hide is still mine!" Hobo 678 held a massive assault rifle in his hands.

Sizz-Lor did not make any introduction, instead he growled and began to advance towards the group, intent on slaughtering Zim.

Skullene whipped out her sword and growled. "I've had enough of you Invader Dev, stay away from my father or I'll rip your eyes out and crush you into paste!"

"Father?" Dev tilted his head. "Zim? What armour is that? That does not belong to a defect, but to a Tallest, I recognize those designs."

Zim scoffed. "The only defect Dev is you and those brainless morons you answer to. I applaud you for your loyalty to Miyuki but I must end our relation here." He stepped forward, followed by Skullene, Credaran, Shen, Skoodge, Tak, and Carlos.

"Take care babe, I'll be right back." Carlos kissed Melissa and ran off to join the forming fight.

"Each of you have done nothing beyond foolishly pursuing your pathetic goals. What Tallest Splorchamheimer started years ago shall be completed, of course after the empire is liberated from its sorry state." Zim taunted them. "After that if you're lucky I won't consider keeping you all around for entertainment."

"Hm...I know that voice," Sergeant Hobo 678 tensed. "No way...he died, Apoc took his PAK himself."

"And here it is, Sergeant Hobo 678." Zim turned to reveal his PAK. "Compliments of Splorchamheimer's brother, Invader Apocalyptic."

"You...you!" Sizz-Lor pointed at him.

Zim chuckled. "Sizz-Lor, what a sad excuse for a chef you've become. From running that grease shop in Foodcourtia and chasing Invaders that kept you there to do your job you've lost your touch." He stepped into the water, the armour protecting him from it. "Let me show you what a real Irken warrior can do."

He grinned. "Activate."

His new upgrade had provided him newer, powerful versions of his current upgrades along with new ones. When he activated his jet pack, a set of mechanized wings shot out of his PAK and he shot into the air. He angled himself for a dive at Sizz-Lor, who was wielding a massive staff tipped with a hammer head.

Shaking off his surprise, the Fry Cook Lord swung his hammer. Zim twisted out of the hammer's path and flew up towards the ceiling again. His thrusters pack ceased operation ,but his mechanized wings-so much like bat wings remained spread as he glided down, pulling out a blaster and firing two shots down at the attackers as the rest of his allies moved in for an attack.

Skullene let out an enraged war cry as she leaped into the air and swung her sword down at Dev, who countered with his knives. The two began to exchange blows with their blades, their movements sending water flying up, sometimes hitting themselves or each other. They ignored the burning pain and continued to press against each other's defence. Skullene delivered a snap kick to Dev's ribs, and he backed away before an evil smirk crossed his lips before he leaped forward and attacked with a scissor kick, pressing his left leg up to her chest and his right leg against the back of her knees. He kept his head inches above water by supporting himself on his arms and twisted.

Skullene cried out as she was sent right into the water. She writhed as she fell right under and felt it beginning to eat away at her flesh. Dev mounted her and began to force her head deep into the water. She became desperate, kicking and letting out a soundless scream that came up as a mass of bubbles.

"GET OFF HER!" Suddenly a rather chubby Invader tackled Dev, and both of them began to roll in what Irkens considered to be acid. Skullene got up, spitting out water quickly as he burnt skin began to sew back together.

Getting to her feet, Skullene searched for her sword. Failing to find it, she drew a knife and immediately stabbed a Resisty trooper from behind, took a small cylinder from the vortian woman's belt, and extended it into a full length battle staff tipped with blades on each end. She leaped at Dev as he shoved Skoodge off.

Dev rolled away from her as she swung down at him and drew both his knives again. Both Irkens began to circle him. "Two on one? Good, now it's slightly fairer fight."

Carlos was taking on Sizz-Lor, who tried to crush Carlos under his massive hammer. Carlos kept dodging, ducking, flipping, and leaping out of the way of the massive weapon. Carlos did not seem to mind the water now and in fact hid under the surface sometimes to confuse Sizz-Lor. Zim assisted, leaping into Sizz-Lor's range and snapped both of his arms outwards. "Activate blades!"

Instead of one, two blades of energy formed from gauntlets that extended out of his PAK and down to his hands. Zim made a shallow cut in Sizz-Lor's armour, and spun out of the way of his hammer. Zim tried to cut the hammer head off, but Sizz-Lor brought the weapon back up and out of range. He tried to kick Zim, but the reincarnation of Splorchamheimer back flipped out of the way and leaped forward, making two more shallow cuts that drew blood.

As Sizz-Lor roared in anger, Carlos leaped out of the water and wrapped his arms around Sizz-Lor's neck from behind. The human cheered as Sizz-Lor tried to throw him off. "RIDE EM COW BOY!"

Zim's energy blade disappeared ,and a five minute recharge time began. He crouched and opened is mouth to summon his disruptors, but paused and raised one hand, catching a combat staff in his palm and tugged it out of the grasp of the Vortian holding it. Spinning, Zim struck the Vortian on the temple with the tip of the staff with a jab. Zim tossed the staff away and rushed across the cave, sending water splashing up as he made for two of Lard-Nar's soldiers.

One saw him and raised his rifle, but Zim leaped right over them both, twisted in mi air and landed behind them. They both slowly turned as he said two words. "Activate Disruptors!"

Both of them along with two other soldiers were incinerated entirely. Zim pelted the cavern with disruptor shots until the weapon shut down and went into its five minute reset.

Carlos continued the fight with Sizz-Lor, evading the large Irken's attacks and striking back from time to time. He hid under the water after being tossed from his perch at Sizz-Lor's neck for the third time.

The boy leaped out of the water and gathered fire into his hands. "IMMA FIRING MY FIAH (fire)!" He then launched a concentrated jet of fire at Sizz-Lor, who somehow leaped out of the way and took cover behind a stalagmite. Growling, he set his hammer/staff aside for a shotgun style weapon that looked like an over-under shotgun...just really advanced.

He leaped from cover and fired. A bright pink blob of energy shot across the room.

"Whoa!" Carlos leaped up and gripped a stalactite as the shot passed under him and blew a hole through the cave wall.

"Got you now!" Sizz-Lor aimed the shotgun weapon at Carlos and fired again.

Carlos pushed off before the stalactite exploded. As he fell, Sizz-Lor cocked the shotgun, and a pair of bright red shells popped out of each tube and fell into the water before two fresh ones from who knows where replaced them. Carlos hadn't seen that one coming, that's for sure.

"Now, die!" Sizz-Lor pulled the trigger and fired...

And hit the wall again. Carlos was hovering over the hole, a pair of big leathery wings sprouting from his back. His feet and hands were replaced by claw tipped appendages, and his eyes were bright red and accompanied by an insane grin as a pair of fire balls appeared in his hands.

"I. Am. The." He focused both spheres into one and shot a massive ball of fire at Sizz-Lor. "CARLOS!"

Sizz-Lor's jaw dropped as he fired a fourth shot, and both shots collided. The fire seemed to consume the energy shell, and struck Sizz-Lor, creating a massive cloud of steam where he had been standing that left the Fry Lord's fate unknown.

"Woo! Ten points!" Carlos pumped one clawed fist into the air.

"Oh my god he really is possessed!" Dib shouted.

"I am NOT possessed! I just like fire, alright? Gaz if he says I'm possessed one more time or makes some derogatory comment again, just hit him!" Carlos shouted.

"You have wings and claws and you're shooting fire from nowhere!" Dib shouted before Gaz slapped him on the back of the head.

"And if you keep that up you'll be next after these bozos!" Carlos shouted.

Meanwhile, Tak was taking on Sergeant 678. She had her spider legs deployed and was dodging every one of his attacks. As he raised his massive assault rifle, she leaped up and balanced on his massive shoulders, digging her spider legs into his flesh. He roared. "You little twerp!"

"IS that all you have to say? Zim spent two full years screaming his own name and that was still better than that lame insult!" Tak grinned before his thrashing got so bad that one of her spider legs shattered and she flew off of him. "WHOA!"

"Now I've got you!" Hobo 678 raised his assault rifle and gripped the launcher attached to it, prepared to blow Tak to pieces as she stumbled to her feet, gripping her face as she healed from water burns.

Shen landed on Hobo 678's back and tore the shattered end of Tak's spider leg out, using it as a make shift weapon and stabbing Hobo 678 repeatedly as he tried to shake the Vortian off. Credaran joined in, whipping out his combat staff and cutting the assault rifle in half before he was gripped by the neck and swung up into the air and slammed down. The Veniran was stuck under the water now, slowly suffocating.

Hobo 678 managed to toss Shen off after being stabbed a dozen times or so, and faced the Vortian and Tak as Credaran's life began to slip away. But suddenly the temperature dropped several degrees.

"Well, if I want to beat Carlos and Kurt, it looks like I'll have to break a few eggs first." Gaz was stepping into the water, cracking her knuckles. Her eyes were visibly open now, and she looked pissed.

"Gaz, don't!" Dib shouted, trying to go after her.

"Guess I can fight on live TV a bit." Suddenly she shot a hand forward, and a stream of what looked like tentacles shot out of her palm.

Dib's jaw dropped. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?"

"She's just like me!" Carlos gasped. "She. Is...The Gaz."

The tentacles picked up Hobo 678, who blinked and looked down as he was slowly lifted up. Credaran was lifted above the surface before hobo 678 dropped him. The Veniran coughed some water out and watched as Gaz slowly lifted the large humanoid alien into the air. "Wow...what in the name of-" He rolled out of the way as Gaz slammed Hobo 678 down, sending up a massive splash of water.

"Whoa..." Carlos, Tak, Gaz, Shen, and Credaran stared at the downed alien. Carlos looked at Gaz. "I don't suppose you'd be girl friend number 7 would you?"

Gaz didn't reply, instead she pulled out her video game and walked back to the shore, complaining her boots were now wet. Dib stared at his sister in shock, unable to speak. "How- but when did you- what?"

"Like Carlos said, we ain't possessed...but we're sucking the power off something else." Gaz snickered evilly, for once a smile formed on her face. "I'm awesome for a reason, Dib."

The fight continued as Zim glided down towards Lorak, who grabbed him in mid flight. Zim's wings and inactive jet pack retracted into his PAK, and he smirked. "Activate Pulse!"

"Pulse? What green one talking abou-" Lorak was cut off as a bright red light covered Zim's armour ,and suddenly a wave of energy shot out from Zim and sent the Planet Jacket flying across the cavern.

"That's what I was talking about." Zim sneered.

Lard-Nar and his dozen or so remaining Resisty fighters backed away, firing their assault rifles on the group in an attempt to keep them back. Carlos snatched one up and proceeded to beat the crap out of the poor soldier before tossing him down into the lake. Tak pulled two laser pistols as she, Credaran, and Shen crouched behind a stalagmite. Nodding to one another, all three stepped out and fired their respective guns, pushing the Resisty fighters back. Shen leaped up onto a Stalactite and clung to it with his light combat armour's gloves. He secured his rifle to his back and drew his last knife, a smirk crossing his face under his cowl as he leaped down and landed behind two Vortians who were cut down with non lethal blows from behind.

Credaran joined his Vortian companion, smashing one Resisty fighter across the face with the butt of his own rifle. Lard-Nar stopped Credaran from harming the soldier anymore by stepping in and expertly catching the weapon. He landed two blows on Credaran and leaped back as the Veniran stumbled a bit.

"You are better than the Irken propaganda gives you credit for." Credaran admitted.

"I learned from the best," Lard-Nar smirked.

"You're messing with the best." Credaran corrected him before they got into a fist fight. The Vortian was surprisingly a competent fighter, enough that it was an even match.

Skoodge and Skullene were slowly wearing down Dev's defences. Just as it looked like victory was in their grasp, Skullene heard a familiar voice. "My angel..."

"Oh crap-" She was grabbed from behind, dropping her spear as her brother Hellion hoisted her up into the upper section of the cavern. "Hell!" She kicked and struggled.

"Not this time my angel," Hellion whispered into her ear, licking her neck. "I won't let you fool me this time. This time, I'll get what I want." His voice turned into a snake like hiss. His PAK had a cable attached to the ceiling of the cavern, and was quickly pulling the two Irkens up.

"You just don't know when to QUIT!" Skullene slammed her head back into Hellion's face, making him loosen his grasp, but then he tightened his arms up.

"You have no idea just how much this makes me want you, my angel." With her firmly secured in his arms, he touched her left antenna, making her shiver from the contact with the sensitive appendage. "Every hit, every curse, every breath is perfection incarnate to me. I cannot stand it anymore!"

Before Skullene knew it, Hellion had manoeuvred along the ceiling to the hole leading back to the control room and dragged her up. It was abandoned, but four of Lard-Nar's soldiers lay dead-a rear guard perhaps?

Hellion pinned her to a wall and forced her head up. It wasn't common knowledge, but an Irken's neck was just as prone to be as sensitive as the antennae, so when she felt Hellion's tongue lick where her shoulder met her neck she couldn't help but giggle just for a second before she regained control of herself. "What are you-?"

Hellion cut her off by pressing his mouth over her lips. She made a muffled protest and tried to knee him in the groin, but he had her legs pinned against the console behind her. He bent her back over it and got between her legs so she couldn't try anything like that again.

Skullene wanted to break his head open, snap his arms off, and rip his PAK to pieces. But then he stroked her antennae and her focus broke for a moment. She broke the kiss and bit his shoulder through his thin shirt, trying to force him off, but he took it as a sign of aggressive pleasure instead. Skullene shivered uncontrollably as he began to unclasp her chest plate, but remained calm and slowly reached for her knife.

Tossing the armoured plating aside, Hellion felt Skullene up. He licked her neck just above the collar before she grabbed his antennae and wrenched his head back. She head butted him before he got her under control again.

He went to her waist and began to detach her belt. "Come on angel, you're getting this whether you like this or no- AUGH!" A gloved hand pulled Hellion off of her and tossed him to the floor.

"Pardon me, but last I checked this is a fight, not an orgy," Shen Baron stood over Hellion, arms crossed. "I have to ask you to stay away from her."

"Yeah! You're trying to bang your sister! Do you have any sense of pride or dignity in you?" Carlos shouted from where he was hanging on the edge of the hole over the fire fight below. Sizz-Lor, Hobo 678 and Lorak were all back in the fight again.

"You bastards- AH!" Hellion curled in on himself when Skullene stomped on his happy place. Collecting her armour, she reattached it, stomped n her brother's testicles, and went over to Shen. "Thanks."

"Seriously Skull, everybody has been trying to get into your pants so far." Carlos paused. "Uh...who has my leg?"

"Get back down here!" Dev yelled before he tugged Carlos back down.

"ASS HOLE...!" SPLASH! "YOU'RE DOG MEAT NOW!"

Shen pushed his cowl aside and smiled. "Come on, before your stalker gets back up." He held out a hand.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Skullene smiled and took his hand.

"So...Irken royalty, daughter of Tallest Splorchamheimer _and_ Miyuki?" Shen did the equivalent of raising one eye brow.

"Well Red always wanted me to be his little warrior princess. Sexy and powerful mostly sexy." Skullene secured her weapons once more and smiled at him. "Again, thanks, Shen. That's twice I owe you. Once for stopping that wacko and once for being my cozy little pillow."

"A pleasure to serve...Princess Skullene." Shen pulled his cowl back up over his mouth and nose.

"Come on, let's go kick more ass." They leaped back down and into the fight.

Xxx

"This is out of control," Red said as the camera drones transmitted the fight to the Massive-he cut the live feed to that specific fight so nobody would see Zim. "The Control Brains said this was impossible!"

"No, actually they said it was 'unlikely'." Purple corrected his fellow Tallest.

"It doesn't matter. We need to end this...but with the galaxy watching we have to be careful." Red took several moments to process his idea. "I've got it. Enact Gladiator Protocol Delta."

"Delta?" Purple looked up from his nachos.

"Yes, it is when the game is about to change, to step up a notch. And we'll be able to make a profit off of it." Red snickered. "Drop the Delta Pod!"

"Delta Pod deployed, shall I inform all competitors as Delta Protocol insists upon?" A drone asked.

"Yes, but wait until our main group is done their fight." Red smirked. "We can broadcast live, but filter out any words made between them during this fight. We can't let anybody know this is happening."

As the Drones went to work, Purple looked at Red again. "Man, Splorchamheimer, who'd have thought?"

"I know Pur," Red said darkly. "I know."

"Delta Pod has landed in the center of the Rongarion territory. Mostly arid, temperatures exceeding ninety on average in day time and below freezing at night. Home to many ruins." The lead Drone informed the Tallest. "After a census we found this location most suitable for this finale."

"Oh it isn't a finale, not for the entire competition that is." Red smirked. "Every day we've added tens of thousands wishing to get in line to kill Zim, so many of them happen to be our enemies or our useless defects. We shall take advantage of this opportunity. If Zim dies, we'll control our media so he is alive, and for one purpose." Red stood up. "So long as Zim lives, this show does, and as long as the show lives we shall keep getting more and more of our enemies in the open. We can also dump a fair amount of prisoners there. The Meekroobians won't bother us, they're too cowardly. They saw what we did to the Venirans and after Apocalyptic demolished their fleet millennia ago they won't stand against us."

"But uh...if they know Splorchamheimer is back won't they-AH!" Red had a laser hit Purple in the eye. "MY EYE!"

"It is not Splorchamheimer, it is an insignificant defect." Red growled. "And either way, live or die he'll be doing this empire one last favour." He sat down. "And after this, I'll never have to hear that accursed name 'Zim' again."

Xxx

CLANG! Dev parried a swing from Skullene.

DOW! DOW! Tak fired both of her laser pistols and then back flipped out of range of Hobo 678's fists.

ZING! Shen jerked a Vortian's blade free from its sheath and gouged his opponent's eyes out.

Lard-Nar had his last three soldiers fall back to the center of the cave, under the hole. He looked up and spoke into his radio. "This is Lard-Nar, we need a tactical withdrawal-"

"No! We stay! We fight! Bring more soldiers!" Dev growled, focusing on Lard-Nar's eyes.

Lard-Nar exchanged gazes with the Irken, and his eyes clouded over. "Yes. More soldiers. Bring more-"

"It's a Mind Control Implant!" Tak shouted.

"I got it." Shen's eyes narrowed as he tossed the throwing knife he had taken from his now deceased Vortian opponent at Dev. The Invader saw it coming and dodged, but his focus was broken.

"Who-what?" Lard-Nar shook his head. "Treachery!"

"He's been controlling you Lard-Nar, he sent you and your men here to die." Zim said, hands on his hips. "How about you cut your losses and just leave?" He tiled his head, his mouth slowly curling into a soft smile that made you think of anything but sunshine and rainbows.

Lard-Nar didn't hesitate. "This is Lard-Nar! Evacuation! Now! Second squad, we need evac!"

Moments later shouts were heard from above, and several lines were tossed down. The three Vortian soldiers hooked onto it. Lard-Nar paused as he noticed a fourth Vortian was still alive. He began to drag the wounded soldier to the cables.

"You coward!" Dev swung at him, but Lard-Nar brought up one cloven foot tipped leg and extended it to its full length, slamming Dev between the ribs and knocking him back. Attaching the Vortian to a cable, Lard-Nar himself hooked himself in and shouted. "NOW! UP!"

The remaining Resisty troops were pulled up and out of the cave. Only Dev remained standing. Sizz-Lor was from his head to his waist in a wall, and Hobo 678 and Lorak were out like a light.

"Good, now with the expendables out of the way, I can deal with you, Dev." Zim cracked his knuckles. "If not for your devotion to murder me I would embrace you as a comrade and even a child. But now, Invader Dev, it is time."

Dev hissed, just barely able to hold onto his knives after all of the wounds he had amassed. "Bastard...I loved her more than anything..." He clenched is hands into fists and fought the urge to cry.

"So did I and I still do," Zim said, looking away as his antennae dropped. "But I cannot allow myself to remain in the past. I shall mourn for my beloved Miyuki until the day I join her. But until that day...I have a life to live outside of Miyuki," His eyes wandered to Tak, GIR, Minimoose and Skullene. "I have people in that life who mean very much to me...and others who are there to stay whether I like it or not." His gaze wandered over pretty much everybody else who assisted him. "I didn't kill her Dev...although I must live with the fact that she and I made the plan that caused this."

Dev froze. "Wh...what?"

"Before I defected, I confided within Miyuki, and she agreed to work alongside Apocalyptic to save my PAK." Zim explained. "That was why Miyuki went to that science convention...she knew I was there and she wanted to see me. She promised she would...why do you think she stuck around to examine my experiment for the longest amount of time? She wanted us to be together as much as possible, I only realized that now myself."

"You...you..." Dev fell to his knees. "I can't... I can't take it...my Tallest...Miyuki...Miyuki...so beautiful." He put his head in his hands, and finally Invader Dev, who had for so long plotted his vengeance against the defect Zim broke under the strain of the knowledge Zim himself had shared. Zim had been her mate, her lover, they had children, Skullene was one of them, she called Zim her father, she was Splorchamheimer and Miyuki's daughter, he hurt Skullene, he hurt Miyuki's daughter!

"Wait...Zim, we don't have to kill him, I'm pretty sure he understands now!" Skoodge said.

"Tell me Dev, is Skoodge right?" Zim asked, tilting his head as he stared down at the broken Irken.

"Yes...he is...Almighty Tallest Splorchamheimer...he is right...I understand...you did not kill Miyuki...but I have disgraced her legacy." Dev looked up. "Tell me...I have heard that many races believe in a paradise they go to as a form of energy after they die...did the Irkens ever believe in it?"

"Yes, we had many religions once, and I was a part of one." Zim crouched. "Forgiveness is something that should not be withheld, to hold a grudge is to poison yourself further Invader Dev. The realm of Nirav awaits us, that is our heaven, that is what we of Irk once worshipped."

"I see...my Tallest...do you think she went there? To Nirav?" Dev asked hopefully.

"Yes, to a land where Irkens are reunited with their lost lovers and family, where they may choose where to go from be it eternity or a new life." Zim closed his eyes. "I could have sworn that I felt myself in the presence of Nirav when I died...it felt beautiful..."

"She deserves to go there...the question is...do I deserve to join her?" Dev was fumbling for something under his cloak.

"I do not judge you Dev, you are a confused and angry fighter, but the truth has healed you... I see that now." Zim stood up. "If anything, I must beg your forgiveness for all that I have caused."

"I forgive you..." Dev smiled. "Tallest Zim."

DOW! The single laser blast echoed through the room, and the entire group leaped back in shock as Invader Dev fell over, a hole burned into his head from his own laser gun. He fell into the water where he began to melt away. Zim picked up Dev's PAK. "These things...these PAKs...they are a barrier between life and death..." He smashed it against a wall. "He wishes to see Miyuki, I shall not stop him...it is something I myself do not deserve on the other hand."

Tak stepped up next to Zim. She barely reached his shoulder now that she took the time to examine the difference in height. She took one of his hands. "Zim, it isn't your fault. None of this is? You did what you thought was right and unjustly suffered for it."

Zim looked down at Tak, and smiled sadly. "Thank you Tak." He squeezed her hand gently. "It comforts me to know that with the death of my narcissism what little love there is for me in this world has not faded."

Skoodge looked away from the dead Invader, shaking as he tried not to vomit. Sophie hugged the Irken, comforting him. Skullene watched with sad eyes as Dev's body slowly melted away. "He was a good Irken...he was like any real Irken should be...and that's why this happened."

"Yes my dear, he was not an emotionless android, he was an Irken," Zim said as the last traces of Invader Dev melted away, leaving only his weapons, clothes, and armour. "He loved your mother truly, and you go to great lengths to avenge your loved one when they are killed before your very eyes."

He held a single fragment of Dev's PAK. "Rest in peace Invader Dev."

He dropped the fragment down into the shallow water, and all who were still alive and conscious held a silence for nearly a full minute...

And as usual, Carlos broke the tension.

"Hey, Irken Shakespeare, look over here!" Carlos, who was sitting on the belly of an unconscious Lorak called to Zim and pointed to the unconscious Planet Jacker's gauntlet, which was beeping. "Uh...I think you all have messages."

Each and every alien opened their communicators.

"Congratulations to all who have survived the first week of 'Kill Zim'!" Red exclaimed. "To make things interesting, we have enacted a Delta Event! As you know Delta means a change, and this 'change' is a weapon that has been dropped in the middle of the Rongarion Desert region. This weapon is an Orbital Gunnery Control. With this weapon ,you can lay waste to entire continents! Come to Rongarion, and claim your prize! Whoever first grabs it may very well be our victor! Come one, come all! KILL ZIM!"

Zim's eyes narrowed. "It is just like those two to bend the rules. They know about me and wish to exterminate me." He looked up at the camera drone hovering above, and tossed a rock right at it, cracking the camera lens. "Ass holes!"

"Well, I'd have to take a guess and say...another road trip?" Carlos shrugged.

"I doubt what little is left of our Voot Cruiser would carry us to Rongarion." Credaran noted.

"Great, we have no transport, we're knee deep in this disgusting water, the Tallest want us dead and to top it all off all of our supplies got destroyed!" Sophie pointed to the wreckage of what had been the camp site she, Melissa, Tak, Zim, GIR, and Mimimoose had resided in. In the fight it had been smashed and burned by gun fire and fighters.

"UH...hey guy, look up." Carlos pointed upwards to the hole in the ceiling of the cavern.

At the edge of the hole stood a familiar human...who flipped Carlos the bird.

"KURT!" Carlos leaped up to the top of the hole and growled at his nemesis. "IF I didn't need you alive so I could get home to my other girl friends I'd burn you alive here and now!"

Kurt shrugged and tossed down some rope for the group. He made hand gestures as they climbed up.

"He says he has a way to get us to Rongarion!" Carlos smiled. "And it's right outside!"

"Good, lead on then Kurt-Human." Zim said.

Kurt nodded and began to lead the way out of the control room as soon as everybody was up. As soon as they were out into the parking lot, Kurt signalled for them to stop and through Carlos said he would scout ahead. The group sat down to snack on what little rations they had left.

Skullene, feeling weak and exhausted after the battle, chose to curl up against her father's side like a child. Zim welcomed the feeling, and drew her closer along with GIR and Minimoose-both of which sat in his lap. He gave her the only blanket he had left from his pack.

"Dad..." Skullene paused. "It's weird to call you that."

"Just Zim will do if that makes you better, dear." Zim smiled. "I haven't been the greatest father...hell I'm possibly less suited to this task than Red or Purple would be. I left you alone for five centuries to go on some crusade."

"Its ok dad," Skullene smiled. "I hate Red and Purple too, let's just kill them and call it even between us."

After that she began to rest. Shen always remained next to her, sharpening the blades on a special Irken designed combat staff he had salvaged from the fight. He glanced at Skullene, and then up at Zim.

"It is ok Captain Baron," Zim assured Shen, transferring the slumbering Skullene over to the Vortian Pirate. "I know how you feel for her."

Shen blushed under his cowl. "Uh...thank you...Tallest Zim."

"Please, just Zim, I'm not yet tall enough for that. After I acquire the rest of my upgrades I shall be ready." Zim got up and stretched. "But first we'll need to get that weapon pod from Rongarion. It might be hard to get anything done with the Tallest harassing us like this though. Credaran, would you be able to do me a favour?"

The Veniran looked up and shrugged. "Depends on what it is."

"I think you'll like it very much," Zim crossed his arms in a businesslike manner. "If I remember correctly, the Tallest keep a large amount of Veniran slaves on their Capital Ships, particularly the Massive, correct?"

"Yes, but if I am right they would move them down to the only controlled structure on this planet...which is right near Rongarion." Credaran's eyes widened. "Zim, are you suggesting that-"

"Yes," Zim smirked. "Have you ever heard the human song 'Let's Start a Riot'?"

"Ooh! I love that!" Carlos grinned from where he and Melissa were making out in the corner.

Xxx

"Welcome back to 'Kill Zim'!" Red said. "We just had one of the biggest battles ever. Contestant Zim discovered a set of armour to match his new height and seems to have joined up with several others including former Invader Skullene, Invader Skoodge, Shen Baron, Credaran the Veniran, a couple of weirdoes, and the audience favourite: The Carlos!"

"Now we've upped the game. We've put a Delta Pod right in the middle of this big desert here. That pod will allow contestants to call upon the very power of the Massive's cannons to their command!" Purple snickered. "Man, it'll be one big boom...hehe...boom."

"You ask for it and we provide it: quality reality entertainment! Now stay tuned for the next exciting segment of 'Kill Zim'!" Red pointed at the screen. "Brought to you by the Irken Empire, bow down or be destroyed!"

Xxx

End of chapter

Could have been better, but my legal fight for my minion Tom goes on and on and- AH! (Dodges a gunshot)

Skullene: (pumps shotgun) Got you now!

Me: Mommy! (Runs away)

Judge Kick Ass: (eating popcorn) Read and Review, or I'll send Skullene after you...hey that rhymed!


	10. Chapter 10

Kill Zim

Judge Kick Ass (AKA: Kick Ass Announcer): Last week on 'Chasing Lawyers and Clients'!

Me: I don't wanna die! (runs from a chainsaw wielding Skullene)

Skullene: Mwahahahahaha!

Hellion: (staring in awe at Skullene) So...beautiful-ACK! (gets decapitated) Oh great, I lose a lot of heads that way.

Kick Ass Announcer: Today on 'Chasing Lawyers and Clients'!

Me: (crouched behind a low wall with Red, Carlos, and Kurt) I think we're the only ones alive!

Red: Oh man, I'm out of doritos!

Me: We have a chainsaw wielding woman after us and you're whining about junk food? I OWN NOTHING!

Carlos: Sh! You'll blow our- (hears chainsaw rev) Mommy!

Skullene: (cuts through wall and sends us all running) Mwahahahahaha! Read and review!

Me: SHE'S GONNA KILL ME! REVIEW TO SAVE MY LIFE! T_T

Xxx

"Disruptors...check...Energy Blades...check...Jet Pack and Glider Wings...check...Updated Personal shield...check...Enhanced combat Boost...check...Pulse Wave...check...Enhanced Regeneration...check..." Zim was looking at a list of his upgrades displayed on his optics. "Let's see what else I got back..."

"Five bucks says it's real kick ass!" Carlos said.

"Alright...three new upgrades." Zim held up one hand. "Disk Blade activate!"

Suddenly disk shaped projectile shot out of his PAK and spun up into the air. It landed perfectly in Zim's grasp, revealing a Chakram. "Amazing," Zim made multiple Chakram shoot out of his PAK until he had eight. "That appears to be the limit to this upgrade. I won't need to recharge it like my Disruptors, Jet Pack. Combat Boost or Energy Blades."

Returning the eight Chakram to his PAK, Zim called on his next upgrade. "Deploy Drones!"

Three small spherical devices popped out of his PAK and floated around Zim. Each of them possessed a small lens. "These will be excellent for reconnaissance."

Returning the drones to his pack, Zim called upon his last new upgrade. "Stealth, activate!" Suddenly Zim shimmered, and then vanished entirely. Tak, Skullene, and Skoodge immediately activated their optical scanners, but found not even a heat signature of Zim. Skoodge was tapped on the shoulder and spun, but saw empty air.

A pair of arms looped around Skullene and Tak's waists and pulled them close to Zim as he reappeared, laughing. "It includes a set of jammers to keep any pesky optics from seeing it! I only need to worry about being silent!"

"Real funny," Tak said sarcastically. "Now why did we chose this mode of transportation?"

"Well..." Carlos looked over the edge of the massive vehicle Kurt had somehow rigged together within minutes from centuries old wreckage mixed with a few more up to date components. It formed basically a large ground transport with a massive bed (not the kind you sleep in, the back of a truck kind of bed) that you could park a few buses on. "You have to admit it's kind of cozy."

"We're in the open and moving slow!" Tak pointed out.

"Yeah, but if we walked all day we'd be tired by the time we got there, so if we go slow and steady, we'll be able to bypass a lot of small problems and be ready to fight when we arrive." Zim replied. "And the desert of Rongarion is only another day's travel at this rate. Others will be there on foot and most likely exhausted and setting up camps."

The vehicle was rumbling through the city. Kurt and Carlos sat up front, the former driving while the latter propped his feet on the dash board and was playing a banjo-don't ask me where they get all this crap from anymore, it just won't give you any straight answers.

Carlos was singing some parody of the Monty Ptyhon's Lumber Jack son.

_Ooooooooohhhhhh_

_I'm a maniac and I'm okay_

_I kill all night_

_I burn all day_

Suddenly Skoodge, Melissa, Sophie, and even Dib joined in-the big headed child just let the madness embrace him.

_He's a maniac and he's okay_

_He kills all night_

_He burns all day_

Carlos took over.

_I burn down stuff_

_I never stop_

_I like to get it rough_

_I'll burn things in the forests_

_And on an empty bluff!_

His singers took over.

_He burns down stuff_

_He never stops_

_He likes to get it rough!_

_He'll burn things in the forests_

_And on an empty bluff!_

_He's a maniac and he's okay_

_He kills all night_

_He burns all day!_

Carlos took over once more.

_I burn down stuff_

_I kill and maim_

_And one day I'll kill Kurt_

_I'll kill him in a sewer_

_I'll kill him in his bed!_

The singers once again took over.

_He burns down stuff_

_He kills and maims_

_And one day he'll kill Kurt!_

They began to sound hesitant.

_He'll kill him in a sewer_

_He'll kill him in his...bed..._

Now they sounded uncomfortable, but immediately snapped back into action.

_He's a maniac and he's okay!_

_He kills all night_

_He burns all day!_

Carlos, not noticing their discomfort, moved on to the next verse.

_I burn down stuff_

_Incinerate_

_Destroy, burn, bash, and break!_

_I'll kill Kurt one of these days_

_And anyone in my way!_

Really looking awkward, the singers took one last shot at it.

_He burns down stuff_

_Incinerates_

_Destroys, burns, bash and breaks!_

_He'll kill Kurt one of these days_

_And anyone...in his...way?_

They all decided to drop it at that point.

"Screw you Carlos!" Dib shouted before he went to brood.

"Uh...sorry man." Skoodge backed away nervously.

"Uh...well I don't hate you but I feel a little odd now." Melissa giggled sheepishly.

"I'm just going to listen to my I Pod now." The Were-Alien retreated with Melissa.

Undeterred, Carlos made the final verse on his own.

_I'm a maniac and I'm okay_

_I kill all night_

_I burn all day_

_I'm a maniac and I'm okaaaayyyy!_

_I kill all night_

_I burn!_ Carlos stood up in his seat, one foot propped up on the dash board in a very similar post to Captain Morgan as he strummed the final notes in tune with each word.

_All!_ He broke a few strings.

_DAAAAAYYYYY!_ The few strings left broke also with the exception of one. Kurt shook his head and kept driving.

(I don't own the real version of this song and it was made as a joke without the intention of gathering profit from it)

Strumming the final note, he sighed in content. "It feels good to be on an unholy crusade." The final string snapped. "Ah crap."

"I still say you're possessed!" Dib shouted.

"Comrade Big Head, I'll come back there and hit you so hard the building behind you will fall down and your entire body will turn inside out." Carlos growled, tossing his destroyed banjo into the streets. "I lose a lot of banjos that way."

"Uh...Carlos?" Sophie spoke up.

"Yeah Sophie?"

"Um...never mind, too late." Suddenly everybody ducked.

"Huh?" Carlos looked forward...just in time to hit a sign face first that knocked him over. "OW!" The vehicle, being 6 or 7 feet high was just high enough for Carlos to slam into it.

The sign said 'WARNING-MAXIMUM HEIGHT SAFETY LIMIT, PLEASE WATCH FOR SIGN'

Dazed, Carlos was bent over the wall separating the seats from the bed. "Well that could have come in handy ten seconds earlier."

"Wait...where's Comrade Big Head?" Credaran looked around...and then looked back at the sign to see Dib dangling from it, only his legs visible.

"HELP ME!" The human boy shouted.

"Uh...Kurt, we have a uh...bowling ball with a body overboard, stop this crazy thing." Carlos said casually to Kurt, who nodded and hit the breaks...making Carlos tilt back and make his thighs hit the dashboard before he tumbled over the hood and rolled down in front of the vehicle as Shen retrieved Dib by expertly leaping to the sign and then back to the vehicle's bed after securing the human's arms around his neck.

"we're good to go! Full speed ahead!" Skoodge cheered.

"Wait, Carlos is-" Melissa started, but Kurt hit the gas.

"AH!" CRACK! "OH MY GOD-AH I FORGOT I CAN'T SAY THAT WORD!" SQUISH! "I DON'T EVEN KNWO WHAT THAT WAS BUT IT CAME OUT OF MY-" SNAP! "OW! OW! OK THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" CRUNCH! "AH! CARLOS JUNIOR! NO! CURSE YOU KURT!"

Finally the vehicle passed over Carlos, leaving him behind in the street as the group gathered at the back of the bed.

"Oh my god, he just killed Carlos!" Dib shouted.

"You bastard!" Melissa shouted at Kurt.

"Wow, usually I'm the one to bad mouth Kurt, what did he do to you?" The group spun to see Carlos standing at the back of the bed, looking unharmed and was drinking from a juice box. "Mmmm...grape..."

"Carlos! But you-he-crunch!" Skoodge pointed between Carlos and Kurt.

"It's a very cute story as to how I survived my dear Skoodge." Carlos suddenly used a British accent worthy of Sherlock Holmes. "You see...I, am, the Carlos...end of story."

"That made no sense at all." Dib commented.

"Comrade Big Head, shut up or I'll put you back on that sign," Carlos said without missing a beat as he rejoined Kurt up front. "Hm...now where did I put that banjo?"

Xxx

"So close...so close...I shall have her before this is over!" Hellion vowed.

"Still chasing tail, Hell?" A voice, so familiar yet so distant.

Hellion was crouched in an alley, eating the remains of an unfortunate Irken he had stumbled upon. The Irken had begged right up until Hellion ripped his tongue out. The blue eyed Irken looked up, and saw an average sized Irken standing on the edge of the roof above him. The Irken had smirk on its face, its arms crossed, and a pair of eyes that gleamed like gems were narrowed in a sneer that was barely covered by a charming smile the Irken wore.

"It's been a long time, brother." The Irken said. "Now how about we go find our sister Skullene together? I have a few things I want to talk to this Zim character about...or was it Splorchamheimer now?"

"You? But how did you get here? The Tallest love you!" Hellion hissed.

The Irken's antennae twitched in annoyance. "Does it really matter to you brother? I'm here to do a job and get my payment for it, easy in and easy out, nothing else, now do we have a truce or not? You get our sister in bed-despite how disgusting I find it, I get Zim's head on a platter and maybe both of us can get off of this planet. Even Skullene if you want to keep her."

Hellion stood to his full height, pondering hits offer. "Very well siblings...we have a deal..." He grinned. "Finally...my angel...my perfect angel of death shall be all mine."

"Try not to give me images Hellion, that's my sister too." The Irken scowled at its brother. "Now let's go. I know where they'll be next, and a ton of other competitors might be coming down on them awfully soon."

"Then I guess it'll be like old times, sibling, exactly like when we both served the empire the useless way: wading into enemy lines, guns blazing, claws tearing..." Hellion licked some blood off of his arms like a cat cleaning itself. "I miss those days."

Leaping down, the Irken crossed its arms and tilted its head. "Are you done yet? Let's get a move on; I have a dead line to meet. I don't want to miss my award just because you can't keep it in your pants."

"Hey, remember my end of the bargain too, ass hole!" A human boy leaped down. He was extremely hairy.

Rolling his eyes, the Irken looked at him. "Yes ,yes, you'll get your precious Melissa too."

"Hell yeah! Carlos, your ass is mine!" Roberto grinned.

Xxx

"Today on 'Kill Zim' we have a musical for you!" It showed Carlos singing. "Starring Carlos and friends!"

"We'll bring you death, we'll bring you explosions. We'll fill Big Head's big head with Volrchan Slime Worms and cook it over a fire after we're all done!" Purple exclaimed.

"YAY!" The audience cheered.

"Looks like it'll take a while for our main competitors to reach the Delta Pod, so until then we'll be bringing you every exciting moment of action between now and then!" Red added. "We'll be back after these commercials with more 'Kill Zim'!"

Xxx

Well folks, this was meant to be a bit of a down payment since I don't have a lot of ideas at the moment. I've been getting help from a friend irl to mirror the IZ characters personality a bit and I want to wait until he gets back before I make a main chapter, so I'll have some minor ones...filler (glass breaks) I know ,we hate it but sorry. Anyways...I want ideas on who this mystery sibling of Hellion and Skullene could be. You decide the gender, the appearance, hell even the name! Send your ideas to me via PM and I'll select the best design based on both my opinion and that of my partner. Oh, and remember to review a lot so Skullene doesn't- AH!

Skullene: Mwahahahahaha! Dance! (shoots at my feet)

Me: Mommy! (hops up and down to avoid shots) Oh, and I might try making a picture of Skullene sometime! It might take a lot of work since I am sucky artist but I'll try! If you want to try making any of my OCs, just ask permission and get out your pens and pencils, and also let me know if you want to put it up- OW! Rubber bullets?

Skullene: (shrugs) Now keep dancing!

Me: Review and save yourselves from my horrible, soul burning dance of DOOM!


	11. Chapter 11

Kill Zim

Judge Kick Ass: Well that was a fun ride, eh?

ME: Shut up. (is covered in bruises and cuts) I hate you so much. T_T

Judge Kick Ass: Anyways...I have come to a conclusion...Tom's soul...belongs...TO ME! Suckers! (runs off with Tom)

Me/Red/Carlos/Kurt:...

Me: (looks at camera) I own nothing...but I do own a very bad headache at the moment. Oh, and if you know The Andromeda TV series by heart you'll recognize something in this...if I remember to put the part in...now excuse me, we'll be back to you after this concussion. (Collapses)

Red: Nachos...so...hungry. (collapses)

Carlos: I...was...the Carlos...(Collapses)

Kurt: (looks around, then shrugs and collapses)

Xxx

"Broken," With a sigh, Skullene looked at her laser pistol.

It was a Vortian MSI (Medium Sized Infantry) design, upgraded of course, and was stream lined, about the size and shape of an earth hand gun, but with a thick blocky barrel and a cube shaped power cell that was slid into the barrel until it ran out of energy and was ejected for a new one. It could hold enough shots to last several fire fights when it had been working. As the group had reached a tunnel, she had led Shen and Credaran to scout ahead.

As she had moved on to help her companions push aside a car that would have gotten in the way, several large creatures had leaped from the top of a nearby vehicle and attacked them. One of them got her pistol and it was utterly useless now. It had a massive crack along one side and she had been forced to toss the energy cell away when it began to leak. Luckily it acted as a grenade and eliminated a large amount of the creatures for them.

Tossing it aside, she hopped off of the side of the transport and joined Carlos, Zim, Shen, Credaran, Dib, and Sophie where they were examining the bodies of the creatures.

"By the gods..." Credaran whispered. "It cannot be...do not let it be so..." He uttered a silent prayer in his language under his breath.

"There is no lying Credaran, the genetic code of these creatures matches your species'." Zim looked up, setting aside his scanner. "I always wondered what happened to those who escaped slavery all those centuries ago."

The creatures looked like some deformed version of the sleek, deadly, and in a special way beautiful Credaran. They had thick, dirty fur and squashed snouts. Their teeth were usually rotting, yellow, and black, with holes in them but were still strong enough to rip you in half. They looked more like a cross between some dog and a gorilla instead of a raptor. They were covered with scars, bald patches, and had odd red lumps forming on parts of their skin.

"They have many sicknesses...I suspect they spent a long time underground. Generations perhaps lived down in the tunnels beneath these cities with nowhere to go." Zim frowned. "We should go unless we wish to join them."

"I'll move ahead, they won't sneak up on me." Shen hefted his rifle and switched its safety mechanism off. He nimbly scaled a pile of wreckage and perched himself on it with the rifle at the ready, scanning the tunnel ahead with the thermal scope. The tunnel didn't have much debris that would stop the progress of the transport-he still did not understand how Kurt had pulled something so big and strong together out of alien scraps of technology and debris.

"It looks clear, I'll move along the right wall." Shen called down to the group as they piled into the transport. "Stay close." Pulling his cowl up over his face, he blended into the shadows.

"...Ok, we can either go slow with him using his fancy ninja tricks, or I can do it the simple way." Carlos stood up and cracked is knuckles, stretching.

"What shall you do Carlos-Human?" Zim's antennae twitched.

"I, my green skinned friend shall eliminate six or seven hours of pointless slow movement." Carlos hopped off of the vehicle. "Kurt! Keep behind me!"

Kurt gave him a thumbs up.

Carlos began to chuckled. "Alright then." He clapped his hands together...

And a jet of fire shot down the tunnel, incinerating trash and wreckage. Carlos laughed maniacally. "YES! BURN! BURN! I! AM! THE! CARLLLLOOOOSSS! IM'A FIRING MAH FIRE BEE-ATCH!"

The entire group's jaws dropped collectively-except Kurt's and Gaz's of course and Shen because he was standing right next to the stream of fire and had realized e was inches from being incinerated. The Vortian backed away as Carlos passed him, leading the way down the tunnel.

"Damn it I am telling you, he is possessed!" Dib shouted.

"COMRADE BIG HEAD IF YOU SAY THE P WORD ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO BLOW A HOLE I NYOUR HEAD, STUFF IT FULL OF CANDY, SEAL IT AND HANG YOU UPSIDE DOWN AT MY LITTLE BROTHER'S NEXT BIRTHDAY PARTY!" Carlos roared, his eyes blazing with rage.

"He is right Dib-Human, this whole talk of demonic possession is quite...old." Zim said.

"I have to agree, I can understand why he would be so angered with you." Shen nodded.

"And I already told you, he isn't possessed and I ain't possessed either." Gaz crossed her arms. "We're just awesome that way and you don't get to know why." She spat her tongue out at him.

Crossing his arms, Dib sat down as the vehicle proceeded through the tunnels, guarded by the most obviously psychotic pyromaniac extraordinaire.

"I MADE HOT DOGS!" Gir cheered from where he sat on Carlos' head, holding a thin metal stick with three hot dogs skewered on it. Holding the stick up with three finely cooked hot dogs on it, he proceeded to chew on one.

Xxx

"Welcome back to 'Kill Zim'!" Red waved to the audience. "So far our all star contestants are under the radar so we're bringing you a miniseries involved with this show."

"The Smart!" Purple said brightly.

"The Evil." Red snickered.

"And the Ugly Werewolf!" They shouted in unison.

The entire audience cheered as the screen showed a massive title.

THE SMART, THE EVIL, AND THE UGLY WEREWOLF, EPISODE 1: RELIGIOUS LOGIC.

Xxx

"...tell me again, what the hell are these things?" Roberto asked.

"These are Monjeans (Mon-gee-an), the galaxy's own personal smart asses." Hellion hissed. "And so annoying and dedicated to their damned inquisitions, the only factions they haven't bother have been the Irkens, the Meekrob, and the Resisty."

As the camera showed Roberto, it paused and in big letters, a name appeared under him on the screen. As the name appeared a broken guitar string sound rang out.

THE UGLY WEREWOLF

Next it moved to Hellion, and as a name appeared under him a sound effect projected a woman screaming.

THE EVIL.

The two were watching a crowd of aliens that were camped in what had been a sports field below. There was about thirty of them, and they looked like some sort of anthromorphic ox with four horns and six eyes. They all wore leathery armour and carried bulky guns and blades. They were gathered in a circle, bowing to some sort of sculpture. It looked like some female Veniran in a loose skirt and sleeveless shirt style of clothing, wielding a pair of swords that went straight out, curved into a perfect C shape, and then straightened out again to form a straight point.

"Culocional, the Veniran goddess of intellect." Standing next to the two, Invader Grimrair examined the statue. "The Monjeans respect all forms of intellect and logic, even the divine spirits that represent it." He smirked. "You have to give them credit for that at least."

Grimrair stood taller than their sister Skullene, just barely an inch taller than Hellion himself. This made him close to the Tallest's height, separated by just about a foot. He was a rather odd Irken who wore contact lenses over his right eye, which was red to make it match his left eye, which was blue. The lack of genetic engineering had provided Grimrair something: flaws, something the Irkens had not seen since his birth. He had heterochromia, rendering his eyes different colours, one to match that of his father and the other matched his mother.

Grimrair wore a set of full body armour that looked like an Irken Space Suit, but more armoured and had a poncho over it. Some thought it was to hide his weapons, some though it was to look impressive...

But the truth was because Miyuki knitted it for him and it looked fashionable with his armour, end of story.

The shot froze, and under him, a name appeared to the sound of the audience cheering.

THE SMART.

His red eye-disguised by a contact lens to make it look blue had a scar over it. The blade that had caused it had ended up popping that eye, but luckily a quick cellular regeneration had restored the eye but left the scar. His right antenna was missing half of its length also, from the same blade and the same attacker.

He had lived through the invasion of Venira five hundred years ago and even fought in it as a recruit. The greatest shame of all had come to him when he had discovered an awful truth: his father, Tallest Splorchamheimer, praised as the most powerful Tallest ever to grace the Irken race had betrayed his entire species, murdered over twenty four billion Irken soldiers, and was now joining the Venirans with an entourage of several thousand 'Splor' Irken Soldiers, his personal guard, all of whom were highly trained and lethal as any Invader. Luckily nobody knew he was Splorchamheimer's son, only that the incredibly Tall Irken Scientist known as Miyuki had involved Grimrair in her experiments.

He still felt the disgrace of it all. His own father betrayed everything that he himself had taught Grimrair to defend. Grim had predicted a dull eternity as an ever loyal soldier in universal conquest...until the Tallest showed him the recordings.

Zim, the biggest abomination since Splorchamheimer was in reality the Tallest himself! Reincarnated after centuries thanks to that traitor, Apoc-better known as Invader Apocalyptic, who had vanished a decade ago. Grim and Apoc had been friends, even conquering planets together until Apoc supposedly died trying to conquer Meekrob.

But Grim knew better: Apoc was not dead and this was proof: Apoc had defected like Splorchamheimer, like his father, like the Irkens Skoodge and Tak, even his own sister Skullene who so willingly went to their treacherous father. Grim saw through it all and came to a conclusion: Zim was a threat to the empire. Father or not, he would die so that the empire could survive, and Grim would make certain of that.

"It looks like we may have to find a way to get through them, the maintenance entrance to the tunnel Zim and his group have entered is right under that statue. It was built to double as an emergency entrance in the case of a bombing." Grimrair's hand brushed the handle of one of his scythes. They were merely a set of handles with blades on them he could hold in one hand each. Upon combining them he could make a full length staff with a sickle on each end.

Shaking his head, he left his weapons where they were on his back. "Perhaps a negotiation is in-"

"Uh...Grim?" Hellion cut him off.

Grim sighed. "Dear Splorch, what the hell is it now?" IT was the fifth time today Hell had cut Grim off.

"Uh...lover boy went down there already." Hellion pointed to where a certain werewolf was approaching the Monjeans.

"Hello! Ciao (Hello)! Saluti (greetings)!" Roberto waved his arms, speaking every word slowly. "My name is Roberto! I need to know if you've seen my sex slave! She's got black hair, ark skin and- ACK!" He was suddenly tackled by about a dozen of the minotaur like aliens, who roared as they began to beat the living crap out of the werewolf. "AYE! OH MIO DIO (Oh my god)! AIUTO (Help)! My legs! Ah, stay away from there you little mostro! (Freak)"

The two Irkens watched as the Werewolf was overpowered. The Monjeans prepared to behead him in some sort of ritual style before the statue.

"I thought they believed in logic and facts!" Hellion hissed.

"They do...to the point that it is their very religion." Grim sighed. "Hold on, I'll save him."

Xxx

"This unworthy cretin has trespassed on our holy ground and desecrated our grounds! He shall be made to suffer!" The lead Monjean snarled, hefting a massive battle axe. "Bring the offender forward!"

"Ow! Gee no need to rush! Ouch! Man you are so pushy!" Roberto was shoved to the ground. "Oh come on I just wanted to-" He screamed as a Monjean stomped on his testicles. "AYE! THOSE HOOVES HURT YOU KNOW!"

"You shall die!" The lead Monjeans raised his axe...only for hand held scythe to fly out of nowhere and cut the axe off below the head. Watching the blade fall to the earth, the Monjeans looked to the scythe where the blade now stuck into the dead grass. They looked to the source and saw Grim, arms crossed.

"Another invader of our sacred site!" A Monjean growled, a crazed look in his eyes.

Grim held up one hand to halt them. "Listen to my words wise Monjeans!"

They all paused at the thought of new wisdom.

"You seek fire, but as you do so you are burning in the heat of the sun," Grim began. "Your only true love is knowledge and logic. But love, hate, they are not emotions but factors of life that seek to bind your will, but not like logic has done so, twisting your intentions into a religious murder fuelled by rage."

"We have learned long ago how to control our rage thanks to our loyalty of logic!" The lead Monjean snarled.

"But the will to overcome your rage is the will for your righteous fury to triumph only so it may circle upon itself and begin a new cycle of rage as it grows." Grim responded.

This made the Monjeans halt.

"The logic you follow states that conflict may be won by compromise," Grim tilted his head. "You have instead followed logic to the point where it has dissolved into rage."

One Monjean looked down in shame. "He's right, I got so mad that I lit my brother on fire for not putting the toilet seat down."

"I'm a terrible father!" Another cried.

"And I'm a terrible son!" A third shouted before he and the second one faced each other.

"I hate you!" The second Monjean growled.

"I hate you!" The third one shouted back.

"I HATE YOU!" They both exchanged this until finally they started crying.

"I LOVE YOU DAD/SON!" They embraced, and soon every Monjean in the area was embracing and crying to the confusion of Grim.

"Ok...I just wanted them to realize there was no point in killing the dog." Grim said as Hellion joined him.

The two Irkens and the werewolf stared at the display before them for several seconds.

"...Can I eat one of them?" Hellion asked.

"NO!" Both Roberto and Grim shouted at once.

Grim went to the base of the statue and searched for the entrance. Discovering a hatch, he smirked and twisted the handle until the hatch opened with a creak. The rusted hinges snapped off entirely, and he tossed it aside.

"Let's go, this is some messed up version of the Vulcans from Star Trek (which I don't own and don't care about really)," Roberto shuddered as he climbed down.

"So Roberto, what have we learned today?" Grim asked as he climbed down next.

"Uh...aliens hate sexy men?" The overly hairy werewolf asked.

"...yeah, let's just got with that." Grim and Hell said at the same time.

If by sexy the werewolf meant 'unaware of personal hygiene' then he was on the spot.

Xxx

"And there we have it with the Smart," Red said.

"The Evil!" Purple added.

"And the ugly werewolf!" They concluded together.

"We'll be back with more 'Kill Zim' after these commercials!" Red shouted.

Xxx

Carlos was sitting in the back of the transport, literally sitting on an open fire Melissa had set up for him. He sighed in comfort as he somehow avoided being burned...along with his clothes which were either demonic like him or fire proof.

"Here you go Carlos," Melissa handed him a drink. "Your favourite. Extra hot and spicy coffee with five different kinds of spices and three kinds of peppers along with an entire barrel of hot sauce added in and stirred in a barrel of acid."

"Uh...I'm pretty sure that'll kill-" Zim paused as Carlos downed the whole thing without hesitation. "Him...uh...wow."

"Thanks baby." Carlos kissed Melissa on the lips...and they began another make out fest.

"OH get a room!" Sophie rolled her eyes.

Xxx

End of another filler O_O don't worry, tomorrow the filler ends.


	12. Chapter 12

Kill Zim

Alright people I am using my plot device, the five children of Miyuki and Splorchamheimer in another story. One child of Miyuki and- ok you know what I hate having to type that over and over so let's just say S&M Kids...Okay...no, I don't write those types of stories...uh..Splorchuki?...Ok I nearly vomited even typing that...uh...Legacy Kids, just call them that for future reference. I'll have it up pretty damn soon after this chapter.

Oh, and Grimrair is property of Zimsmostloyalservant. Thanks by the way for the character.

Xxx

"Kill him, crush him, maybe a bit of both!" Carlos sang cheerily. "Something some thing something...I forget the rest!" He hadn't broken tune the entire time.

"What is with you, dynamite, and killing?" Dib asked.

"Well what's with you being big headed, obsessive, annoying, rude, and not very bright?" Carlos shot back at him. "I mean come on, I've met dogs with rabies who have more manners than you-granted they tried to bite my legs off but they didn't offer mean, snarky comments like you do."

"You have horns! You have a tail! You spew fire! You SIT on fire! You can't say the word 'god'-."

"OW! No saying that to me man!"

"It's so obvious that you're possessed!" Dib shouted.

"You know, I hope that you realize my bigheaded friend that my threat from our previous argument is still standing, and little Sammy always wanted a 'very' big piñata at his party." Carlos growled as he finished scrambling over the rubble that blocked the tunnel exit. "Now you listen here my good big headed friend. While the others look for food, weapons, and explosives to blow this rubble away, you shall stay here and guard the vehicle."

"Why do I have to stay?"

"Let's see: your sister hates because she has to live with you every day and is quite annoyed that your dad forbids her from dooming you. Zim and Tak still don't like you and shall blow you up if you make more alien comments. Gir and Minimoose...well we need them and I'm pretty sure they'd blow you up too. And quite frankly, your alien and so called 'devil' prejudice annoys everyone here." Carlos crossed his arms. "If you can't handle that people are different than you might not want to be here, because we're being 'watched' by a galaxy filled with aliens...oh and even humanity is watching it and they still don't believe you. How is life of paranormal investigation for you now smart guy?"

"...just shut up and go." Dib obviously didn't want to talk.

"Well, the Dib-Human sounds fine." Zim said as Carlos joined the rest of the group on the ground.

"Oh yeah, he's just cranky because he hasn't watched Mysterious Mysteries." Gaz shrugged.

"Hm...I think one of us should stay here to make sure he doesn't pull anything." Skullene said.

"Oh please, what could he do?" Carlos asked.

Suddenly all of them had different images.

Xxx

Carlos

"Hm...onion rings." Carlos said as Melissa and his other girl friends fed him onion rings while he sat in a hot tub.

"Ah ha!" Dib suddenly pounced on the onion rings and ate them. "Take that devil boy!"

"NO!" Carlos screamed...before he shot out of the hot tub, covered in fire and with horns and wings and his tail visible. "BURN YOU BIG HEADED B-! BURN!" He launched a pair of jets of fire, which collided with Dib.

BOOOOOOMMMMM!

Xxx

Kurt

Kurt was riding his motorcycle along a road in a soothing setting. He had lost Carlos for once and was at peace.

"DIB TO THE RESCUE!" Dib shot by Kurt on a rocket bike.

Kurt watched him as he vanished into the distance, and then slapped himself in the face.

Suddenly his motorcycle exploded.

BOOOOOMMMM!

Xxx

Zim

"I shall leave the aliens and the devil boy to die!" Dib declared as he stepped into the driver's seat and grabbed the clutch. He put it into drive...and something broke somewhere in the mechanisms under the dash board. "Uh...that didn't sound good."

BOOOOOMMMMM!

Xxx

Tak

Dib was sitting in the driver's seat, eating ice cream, and accidently dropped it on the controls, which began to sizzle and spark.

"Uh oh-"

BOOM!

Xxx

Skullene

"Ahh...finally I have it all to myself." Dib leaned back in his seat.

Ch-chk!

He slowly turned and came face to face with Invader Hellion, who was carrying a shotgun style energy gun he aimed in Dib's face. "Alright, where's Zim, my angel ,and everybody that my tallest have bet on dying?"

"I'll tell you ,but only if you don't kill me!" Dib pleaded.

Rolling his eyes, Hellion sighed. "Fine."

"They went that way!" Dib pointed to the top of the rubble.

"Good, thank you." Hellion charged the gun.

"But you said-"

"I lied. I'm an Invader and I'm an Irken, dummy, it's what we do." He pulled the trigger...and the gun exploded inches from Dib's face.

BOOOOOMMMM!

Hellion looked at the stump of his right hand and titled his head. "Hm...oh yeah...self destruct, forgot. Oh well, I'll just take one of his." He crouched and went to work on cutting off the now headless Dib's right arm.

Xxx

Shen

Shen was searching through rubble when he saw a weapon's pod. The dating had it set at...the day that 'Kill Zim' had begun!

He opened it, revealing a massive assault rifle.

"An Irken Grade 10 Disruptor, the most dangerous infantry and anti-vehicle weapon in the galaxy!" Shen gasped, reaching for it. "and it's all mine..."

He was about to grasp the handle when suddenly the half collapsed wall of the building next to him caved in and Dib, driving the vehicle crashed through, crushing the rifle and barely missing Shen's hand. "I got it out of the tunnel!"

Shen twitched, devastated at the loss of fire power. "Dib-Human?"

"Yes?"

"Run." He pulled out a grenade and tossed it at Dib.

BOOOOMMMM!

Xxx

Credaran

The Veniran was in a knife fight with an armoured fighter. They parried and dodged each strike sent at one another.

"Don't worry Cred! I'll save you!" Dib raised a large grenade launcher that Credaran and the attacker had been fighting over.

"Wait Dib-Human you have that on the wrong setting! That's the self dest-" Credaran was cut off when Dib pulled the trigger.

BOOOOMMMMM!

Xxx

Gir

Gir was dancing around eating a taco.

"LOOK OUT! COMING THROUGH!" Dib shoved gir aside, making him drop the Taco, which was moments later crushed by an alien chasing Dib.

"NOOOOO!" Gir fell to his knees. "Taco..." With nothing to live for, he activated his self destruct.

BOOOOMMMMM!

Xxx

Minimoose

Minimoose was gliding back and forth through the rubble. "Squeak!"

"Minimoose! Look out!" Zim shouted before something fell on Minimoose. Dib looked down on the robot that he had landed on after falling from a low roof. The fur was ripped, revealing a screen.

"Dib-Worm what did you do?" Zim shouted as he ran to the two.

"There's a screen, it says...ice cream? Ooh that sounds nice!"

"The settings are wrong Dib-Worm. That isn't Ice Cream, it's The Doom-" Minimoose exploded.

BOOOOOMMMMM!

Xxx

Gaz

"Dad? I'm back, we're ready to go for pizza." Gaz called as she entered the house ,dragging Dib behind her. Dib was covered in multiple burns, bruises, and cuts. One of his eyes were missing, covered by bandages, and his teeth were all gone.

"No, no, daughter. We cannot go out with your brother looking like this. Family day is cancelled until we can repair him." Professor Membrane wagged one finger back and forth.

"Cancelled?" Gaz's eyes twitched. "NO!"

Then suddenly the Super toast in the kitchen went critical.

BOOOOOMMMMM!

Xxx

Melissa

"Oh Carlos, I love you!" Melissa said. "I can't take another second away from you!" She and Carlos rushed down the street towards each other, arms spread.

Suddenly Dib roared onto the street. Carlos had time to look up and say "Oh fu-" Before he was run over.

"Sorry! I'm still getting the hang of this thing!" Dib called back to him.

"Carlos? NOOOOOO!" Melissa fell to her knees, screaming to the sky.

Suddenly the vehicle exploded.

BOOOOMMMMM!

Xxx

Sophie

Sophie was walking down a street, whistling a tune as she reached Dib, who had the vehicle out of the tunnel. "Hey Dib, you managed to get it out intact?"

"Yeah, and now I'm working on getting the engines to work better." Dib said brightly. "I just need to connect these two wires and-"

BOOOMMMMMMM!

Xxx

Skoodge

Skoodge was sitting on a beach. He looked back and forth, and then sat down and began to think of what could happen.

After several minutes, Dib walked up to him. "Is this the best your imagination can think of? Man, no wonder the Tallest don't like you!"

Skoodge began to tear up. "You're right! I'm a failure! A failure!" He opened a panel on his PAK. "Self destruct!"

BOOOMMMMMM!

Xxx

"WE NEED SOMEONE TO STAY!" They all shouted at once.

"I want my onion rings!" Carlos sobbed.

"I want the vehicle to still be there!" Zim said.

"I want Pizza!" Gaz growled.

"I want my taco!" Gir cried, before randomly pulling a taco out of his head and eating it.

"I wanna live!" Credaran shuddered.

"I want my rifle." Shen whispered solemnly.

"I want Hellion to leave me alone!" Skullene growled, pulling at her antennae.

"I want to think better." Skoodge mumbled.

Kurt made swift hand signs.

"Yeah, you got that right Kurt! Skoodge, Dib hates you the least and Gaz isn't going to stay, obviously so you keep an eye on him!" Carlos said to Skoodge.

"But he's so mean!" Skoodge began to tear up as Carlos patted his back.

"I know, I know...but think about what will happen if he uh...breaks the vehicle? Or he wanders off and gives away our position? Or worse...he destroys my onion rings." Carlos growled.

"Huh? What were you thinking of?" Skoodge asked.

"Hell brought to paradise my friend, hell brought to paradise...my paradise to be specific." Carlos sighed. "Now go watch him and risk your life for ours!" He tossed skoodge to the top of the pile.

"Mommy...!" Skoodge's voice faded as he flew over the pile and landed on Dib's head.

"You think he'll be ok?" Skullene asked.

"Sure," Carlos replied before skoodge screamed.

"DEAR SPLORCHAMHEIMER THAT HURT! I'VE NEVER FELT SO MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE!" Skoodge yelled.

"Don't look back; it's too late for him," Carlos led Melissa away.

"I STILL HAVE A CHANCE! HELP ME!"

"No, no, he'd want us to go on." Carlos said.

"I WANT YOU TO COME BACK AND HELP ME!"

"We shall remember to come back and help him after we have everything we need." Zim nodded.

"START BY REMEMBERING ME NOW!"

"Remember, its for the good of our survival." Skullene said quickly.

"WE'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOOOOMMMMEEEEDDDD!"

Xxx

"...doooooommmmeeedddd..." The yell echoed through the tunnel.

"Anyone hear that? It sounded like a poor short Irken suffering a fate worse than death." Hellion looked around.

"Maybe the tunnel got blocked and they left that Skoodge guy and that big headed whiner to guard their vehicle so they could gather provisions." Roberto suggested.

"Now that would be just mean, and very illogical. Knowing them they'd crack under pressure in an interrogation in seconds." Grimrair prodded the corpse of a mutated Veniran. "And he would probably mess with their vehicle. I saw how big it was from the recording on my drone, it could go up easily with how big the fuel tanks were."

Xxx

"Welcome back to 'Kill Zim'." Red said. "After being trapped by a centuries old cave in, Zim and his group have left Contestants Big Head and Skoodge to guard their vehicle. Talk about not being so smart, huh?"

"I know! They're so stupid." Purple giggled.

"Well, they only have about fifty miles until they reach the Rongarion Desert, and about thirty more after that until they reach the area where the Delta Pod has been dropped." Red took over. "A lot of the contestants were far from the area to begin with due to a lack of valuable pod drops and resources in the area, others are looking to dodge the incoming wave of contestants."

"And now we're broadcasting to you from the only actual Irken Base on this whole planet, the Dome of Conquest!" Purple cheered. "We'll have front row seats to see who gets the Big Guns!"

"And let us all hope that whoever gets it uses it on Zim," Red added. "Explosions, Lasers, Laughs, and Carlos- ah, dang it now I'm saying it, anyways we'll bring you all that and more on 'Kill Zim'! Back to the field!"

Xxx

"I sense...a disturbance...in the Carlos." Carlos looked around slowly.

"When don't you?" Shen asked from where he was looking at a pod. "Ah ha!" He held up a cube shaped container of brown sludge. "Veniran Slave Feed! This provides enough vitamins and necessary nutrition to feed twice our number!"

Carlos turned green as Shen took some sludge out of the container and slurped it up. Carlos vomited into a hole.

"Excuse me sir, I do not decorate the inside of your mouth, so please don't vomit in my home." A Vortian with bandages covering the top of his head said as he stuck his head out of the hole.

"sorry," Carlos said, wiping his mouth.

"...so? Aren't you going to take it back?" The Vortian asked. "IT has to go back in your mouth as per custom!"

Carlos was so sickened that no amount of onion rings would make him feel better.

"Okay, that has single handedly replaced my dad's Parent-Teacher conferences." Carlos sighed.

Xxx

Two years ago...

Carlos twitched as he looked at the remnants of his high school. "Dad...just get in the car." He looked to the tall, cloaked figure next to him.

The figure had one long, pitch black, scaly, bony, and claw tipped arm out and was licking blood off of it with a forked tongue.

Xxx

One year ago...

"DAD!" Carlos paused and tried to hold in his anger. "Just...get in the car."

The figure was not listening, as it was busy feeding off of a dead human body using a straw connected to the throat. It looked at him with red eyes (kind of like Irken eyes, all red with nothing else). "Hm? What was that?"

"...nevermind."

Xxx

In modern time...

"Man, I never even got to use this thing," Dib was looking over his Vortian plasma rifle. "I just want to see what this baby can do. Maybe I can bring it back to Earth!"

"Just don't point it at me or the controls!" Skoodge said.

"Oh don't worry, I'm a total pro when it comes to alien technology-" VUH-CHOOM! A single blue bolt shot out of the rifle and hit the roof of the tunnel. Several pieces of stone fell and almost hit them both.

"...Give me that gun." Skoodge tried to wrench it away from Dib.

"No! Mine!" Dib and the Irken began to tug the blaster back and forth until another shot went off. They cried out and fell, sending the rifle spinning into the air. They looked up at it with wide eyes, and Dib looked over at Skoodge and spoke.

"I'd cry for my mom, but I'm not even sure I was born that way."

The rifle hit the roof of the tunnel, and a third shot went off, fired down at them.

"MOMMY!" They both hugged each other and screamed as the plasma bolt shot down towards them...only for a bubble shield to form over them and block it.

After not perishing ,they opened their eyes as the bubble shield retracted into the tip of a spider leg that came from an Irken that stood over them, a second Irken on his left and a large, snarling, drooling black furred anthromorphic wolf on his right.

"Hello...Invade Skoodge." Grimrair smirked.

The two released each other, glanced at one another, up at Grim, and then opened their mouths at once.

"They went that way!" they pointed to the top of the pile of rubble that blocked the tunnel.

"Awesome, let's kill them!" Hellion pulled out a blaster and aimed it right between Dib's eyes. "The Tallest had money on his head blowing up!"

He charged it up.

"No you fool! We need them alive!" Grim knocked Hellion's aim off, making hi maim up when he pulled the trigger...

BOOOOMMMMM!

And the gun exploded and took his hand off.

Looking at the stump of his hand, Hellion began to think. "Hm..." He looked down at Dib and Skoodge. "Can I have one of your hands?"

"Uh...sorry, need them." Skoodge said nervously.

"Ah crap, looks like it's another corpse transplant for me then. Man that's the third hand this month!" Hellion pulled aside the tatters that made up his shirt to reveal mismatched sections of skin that were connected together by what seemed to be patches of thread sewn into the skin. "This is worse than that time I needed a new eye, man it was hard to find another blue eyed Irken. Man, who the hell makes self destruct buttons for guns?"

"Only in the Irken Empire my brother, only in the Irken Empire." Grimrair sighed, focusing a gun of his own on his prisoners. "Now...let's see what we can do to make you two useful, shall we?"

Xxx

End of chapter


	13. Chapter 13

Kill Zim

Me: (in hospital bed) Well folks, Carlos didn't like me ruining his fantasy, so I'm typing with one hand and- oh dear lord Dib is coming to visit!

Dib: Hey Familiar!

Me: Dib, please go.

Dib: But I-

Me: GO!

Dib: Fine, jeez. You own nothing except the OCs...oh, and for the record the OC 'Kurt' is property of Lord Maximus, he just wanted that out of the way in case somebody read Code: Total Drama. Carlos is shared between Familiar47 and Steel Scale...they know each other in real life...anyways...bye! (turns to leave and accidently pushes my bed, making it wheel out of the room, down some stairs, and out a window)

Me: MEMBRANE!-

BOOOOOMMMM!

Dib: Uh...oopsie.

Xxx

The Smart, the Evil, and the Ugly Werewolf Episode Two: Life Lessons and handsome Skoodge

"This one?"

"No, too green."

"This one?"

"Too burnt."

Grim sighed and held up yet another severed arm of an Irken. "What about this one?" He was sitting by a pile of Irkens Hellion had recently dispatched. The screen froze and the words 'THE SMART' appeared under him.

"No! Too long! I need one specifically the length of this one!" Hellion held up his good arm.

The screen froze, and under his named appeared the words 'THE EVIL'.

"How about this?" the ever helpful and providing Skoodge held up a limb as though he was offering an article of clothing for Hellion to try on.

"Let me see that," snatching it from the prisoner-Roberto had dib cornered in the back of the transport while Grim and Hell made skoodge help them search for an arm, Hellion examined it. "Perfect!"

As he began to sew the arm onto his stump using appendages from his PAK for the process, he hummed a song. As it finished, he sighed. "Ah..my angel shall never notice the difference."

"Seriously, why are you trying to boink your own sister?" Dib asked.

"SHUT UP!" Hell screeched right in Dib's face. "OR I'LL RIP YOUR ASS OFF AND GLUE IT TO YOUR HUMONGOUS FACE JUST SO YOU CAN SEE ME KICK IT!"

"Meep!" Dib backed off.

"Good..and to answer your question, I crave my darling sister because she is power incarnate itself! She is deadly, lethal, a ballet of blood and death that draws me in to the point that I cannot help myself!" Hellion sighed. "I love my sister so much."

'A little too much if you ask me.' Dib thought.

"Hey, somebody's calling on the radio! Get Skoodge up here!" Grim bellowed from the front of the vehicle. Skoodge was forced up to where Grim stood and sat in front of the radio.

"Make them think it is still safe," Grim growled. "Or I'll sick Roberto on you."

Shuddering, Skoodge answered the radio. "Invader Skoodge reporting."

"Skoodge, this is Skullene. We've found some more up to date weaponry and supplies, we'll be coming back to the tunnel in a few hours after we get some explosives." Skullene sad over the radio. "Is it still secure?"

"Would it be if it wasn't me answering?" Skoodge asked, trying to hide the fright in his voice.

"Good point, so where's Dib?" Skullene asked.

"Oh uh he's just wandering around, things haven't been too hectic since you guys left," Skoodge said.

"I see...well in that case carry on, Skullene out," Skullene cut the link.

Skoodge sighed in relief as Grim stopped tapping the handle of his blaster pistol. "So...can I go now?"

"No, we'll prepare a bit first until they come back," Hellion smirked. "My angel shall be in my possession, Zim shall die, that Vortian's horns will be made into tooth picks and his goggles will serve as a trophy to me, and then I'll punch Big Head in the mouth! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Mommy." Dib whimpered.

Xxx

It had been several hours and the group had not yet returned. Dib and Skoodge were tied up n the back of the vehicle. Roberto was playing the harmonica, Hellion was poking the corpse of an Irken that had wandered into the tunnel minutes ago, and Grim was on vigilant guard.

"What the hell is taking them so long?" Dib groaned. "They should have been here by now!"

Xxx

"OH NO! THE HORRIBLE GIANT FLESH EATING DEMON SQUID HAS RETURNED AND CREATED AN ARMY OF CROCODLE SQUID ROBOTS TO DO IT'S EVIL BIDDING!" Zim backed away as the horrible Squid Demon that he had kept in his base several months ago advanced on the team with an army of large green octopi like robots with large crocodile mouths on the tips of their tentacles.

"And the girl scouts followed me! THE GIRL SCOUTS!" Carlos screamed.

"Wanna buy some cookies?" An army of human girl scouts advanced on the possessed child, wielding boxes of disgusting, badly baked cookies made from the same thing 'POOP' Bars are.

"No! Stay away from me! I don't even have my wallet! Do you take credit cards?" Carlos screamed as they leaped upon him. "NO! NO! THEY DON'T TAKE CREDIT CARDS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES AND YOUR FINANCES!"

Credaran was being mangled by a massive poodle like monster with two heads that swung him back and forth with him stuck in one mouth. He beat on its snout, screaming as it slammed him into the ground and walls.

Skullene was surrounded by Monjeans.

"There! The impostor! He who promised us enlightenment and abandoned us!" the leader shouted. "Get him!"

"What the hell? I'm a girl!" Skullene backed away as they advanced on him.

"You cannot fool us again! You shall pay!" The leader and every other Monjean ripped their shirts off-at least the males did and whipped out their weapons, letting out battle cries that lasted ten full seconds.

For several moments they all faced off, and then Skullene whipped out her laser pistol-which was a new Irken model, the only weapon she now had besides her knives, sword, and rifle. She fired precise shots that blew off the tip of every axe, sword, spear and gun until all thirty Monjeans stood with half of their weapons left in their hands.

For several moments they stood there, and then the Monjeans unleashed their battle cries and rushed forward...right past Skullene and into the wreckage of Renora. Skullene smirked and spun her pistol around on one finger before holstering it. "I still got it."

Shen found himself staring at her the entire time, glad the cowl on his face had hidden the dumb smile that had formed on the Pirate King's face when she had singlehandedly disarmed the small army of aliens.

Gaz was standing with Kurt, playing her Game Slave as Kurt watched the chaos before him.

GIR was eating waffles while Minimoose somehow held a sword up with his paws and was chopping away at a large dragon like creature that breathed fire at the moose.

"Get away! Don't make me use this! I value my monetary income and outcome ratio far above your lives!" Carlos threatened as he backed away from the girl scouts with a flame thrower in hand. "I'll do it!"

"Wanna buy some-" The scouts were cut off when Melissa leaped down in front of them.

"Back. Off. My. MAN!" Melissa unleashed a torrent of lightning, zapping every girl scout into unconsciousness.

After it was done, Carlos stared at her with his jaw dropped and an aura of fire surrounded him to match her aura of lightning. "Melissa baby, I have never been so hot for you until now."

"Oh Carlos," They proceeded to make out.

Sophie, who was in the form of the white skinned and silver scaled Teranai and trying to fight off a giant crab by bracing her diamond hard arms between its massive pincers rolled her eyes. "Get a damn room!"

"Good idea," Melissa giggled.

"Oh baby," Carlos suddenly grew a pair of bat like wings and they flew off.

Everybody, even the Demon Squid and the Crab stared as they flew off. The Demon Squid said something in a tongue long dead to the known universe, stating it's feelings in one single sound.

"Gross."

The group finished off the rest of their enemies.

"Well, that was easy." Zim said.

"Yep, and my hot girlfriend is even hotter than before." Sad Carlos.

"Oh, Carlos." Said Melissa dreamly.

"Oh and I think Skoodge and Dib have been captured." Said Carlos.

"What? How do you know for sure?" asked Skullene. "I just talked to them."

"Think about it, Skoodge said things have not been too hectic since we left. When is Dib relaxed around an alien. Also what happens anytime someone answers the radio with him nearby?" asked Carlos.

"He says 'Who are you talking too?'" Gaz said imitating Dib's voice.

"Exactly. We didn't hear a word. Wouldn't that just be a little odd?" asked Carlos.

"The Carlos-maniac speaks the truth." Said Zim.

"Oh, you sweet talker." Said Carlos taking it as a compliment. "And also, Dib was the one sitting in the front seat when we left, and he never would have let skoodge take over for him. Going for a walk? Dib doesn't trust the ground ten feet from him enough if it's on an alien planet and he doesn't have experts with him. And also, Skoodge said 'Invader skoodge reporting', and he always says 'Hello' when he answers the radio. And finally, the word 'hectic' came back to me, it made me think of my scenario for what would happen if we left Dib alone with our vehicle. Afterwards Skullene had said she 'Wants Hellion to leave her alone', and that's where it hit me! Dib and Skoodge have been captured by Invader Hellion, and maybe a few others."

"Why a few others?" Gaz asked.

"Please Gaz, it's so obvious, I don't want to have to insult your intelligence just because you won't look up from that Game Slave of yours." Carlos replied.

"Hellion never takes prisoners...so maybe somebody else is there to keep him in line...but who could...oh no...him! Only he could!" Skullene groaned. "Oh brother."

"Who is it?" Tak asked.

"I just said who it is, my brother, one of my brothers," Skullene replied.

"Just how many mentally insane brothers do you have?" Carlos asked.

"This one isn't insane, he's a foil for Hellion, his opposite! Hellion is a homicidal maniac who wants to boink me, but this one s a cold, calculating leader, fit to rule a fleet or even an empire. He is Grimrair, the second eldest of us." Skullene's eyes narrowed. "And he rejected Splorchamheimer when he rebelled. The bastard and our eldest sibling had acted odd after the takeover of Venira, and now I know why: they knew that Splorchamheimer was not just our leader and creator but our actual father! And with how much of a loyalist he is he probably came here on behalf of the Tallest or the Control Brains!"

"So you have one brother who is mentally insane and wants to screw you ,and another who is a lap dog like Dev was." Carlos said. "Family, you gotta love them. 'Course my parents are too lazy to get off the couch, and my siblings," He shook his head. "Trained in the ways of the madness ,but not that strong...well okay my dad can get up when the time calls for it but..."

Xxx

Six months ago

"Uh...happy birthday little sis." Carlos said awkwardly as he, his six siblings, his mother, and the tall cloaked figure sat in the middle of what had been a Bloaties Pizza Restaurant, but was now covered in blood all except for their one booth. Their father was licking blood off of one scaley arm.

"Thanks Carlos!" His younger sister Samantha sad as she opened her gift, which was a miniature flame thrower. She proceeded to set fire to everything around them, laughing maniacally.

Xxx

Carlos sighed. "As much fun as she had that is one birthday party no kid wants to go to, in fact everybody stopped trying after that."

"At least none of your brothers has a big head and is annoying." Gaz said.

Kurt made hand signs. Carlos chuckled. "Oh yeah, I forgot about your sister Kurt! She's crazy, and almost as insane as Girl Friend Number One! But she s soooo hot!"

THWACK!

Kurt hit Carlos on the back of the head.

"Ow. Ow." Carlos rubbed his head. "Ok, I admit I deserved that one. But you're onto to talk Kurt, Mr Twinkie told me what you were doing to my sister two years ago on that prom date."

Kurt tilted his head and blinked in confusion, making hand signs.

"Yes, the bird I trained to try and pluck your eyes out." Carlos sighed. "He told me what happened, and I am still disgusted with you!"

Looking more confused, Kurt made more hand signs.

"No, not because you pulled that bowl of punch in the air when I was spying on you, and oddly enough that shouldn't have been able to burn me like that, last I checked punch was different from water." Carlos shook his head. "But still!"

More hand signs.

"No, not because when I got too close you twisted my arm, broke my rib and tossed me out the window!"

More hand signs.

"No, not when you tossed that table at me to make sure I was unconscious for the rest of the night."

More hand signs. He was asking how Carlos could have known about that if he was unconscious.

"Uh...there's a whole reality warp thing involved –DON'T TRY TO DSTRACT ME! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! TWINKIE TOLD ME!"

More hand signs.

"What do you mean there was no sign of that bird, of course there was no sign of him, I trained him to hide after what you did to him last time."

More signs.

"He was hiding on the teacher's head trying to disguise himself as a hat? Alright I could have sworn I trained him to be smarter than that."

More signs.

"What are you talking about? Of course it was you he saw!"

More signs.

"I know you don't have blonde hair, what does that have to do with anything?"

More signs.

"What would a hobo be doing there in the first place?"

More signs.

"Oh great, tequila shots and coming off a date with another crazy lady, we lose more hobos that way." Carlos sighed. "So you're telling me Twinkie saw a hobo, not you, trying to boink my sister?"

More signs.

"And it wasn't my sister at all...this all happened while you were bashing my head in with a fire hydrant to knock me out before you went back inside and beat up the hobo?"

More signs.

"...Twinkie!" Suddenly a large red and black feathered bird appeared n a flash of black fire and landed on his arm. "Mister Twinkie, did you lie to me?"

The bird cawed.

"Better tell me the truth or Mr Chainsaw will be upset agan."

Distressed caw.

"You didn't take the laser eye surgery?"

Caw!

"Ok I admit those lasers are scary but that is no excuse! Because of you my sister tried to kill me with maple syrup, table forks, toxic waste, which I don't know why dad would consider bringing into the house by the way! Zap me with electricity ,which I was used to since my girl friends used it on me for fun, and I suffered six more months of trying to kill Kurt, and he beat me to death with my own spleen, THIRTEEN TIMES! I was even violated by a bear along the way while stuck under an ATV! Do you know how hard it is to sew my vital organs back into place or suffer the indignity of a bear licking its way down-" Carlos gagged. "I won't even finish that sentence!"

Caw!

"Don't you take that tone with me. Of course I would have tried to kill Kurt even if you told me the truth either way. But still, all those times my sister tried to kill me were brought on by you because you were afraid to get a little laser in your eye or wear contact lenses!"

Caw!

"Don't you bring Mister fluffy and Cloudy into this young man, you're in big trouble when I get home!" Carlos dismissed the demon bird. "Well Kurt, it seems I owe you an apology. Despite your humiliating and witty insults, the pain I've been dealt by your amazing fighting skills and the annoying pranks that have humiliated me along the way, you treated my sister right. And as such, when the time for death comes, I shall be sure to make it quick, painless ,and comfort my sister at the funeral-"

THWACK! Carlos took a jab to the face.

"I'll let that one slide since despite me feeling most of the physical pain, you suffered the grief of me chasing you."

Hand signs galore!

"Ok, I admit it's because like a normal routine for you to dodge my attempts to kill you, but still shouldn't try to kill you for something you didn't do. But I will still try to kill you for that hurtful name you called me."

More hand signs.

"Hey! That name really hurt man, and I so did not have it coming!"

Signs! The signs!

"Alright so maybe I did burn down your house, kill your dog, run up your phone bills, pay for gas with your debit card, and even flirt with your sister ,but I still say it was uncalled for!"

As the two humans debated, the rest of the group continued back towards the tunnel.

"So what will we do to rescue the big headed one and the fat one?" Credaran asked.

"I have a plan," Tak said. "Zim, you'll have to go with me on this one."

Xxx

"Must call...help..." Dib strained to activate his watch communicator. "Agent Dark Booty! I know you're watching TV, it's all you and the brass of Swollen Eye Ball ever do! Agent Dark Booty! Dark Booty, answer me! BOOTTYYYY!- ow!" Hellion punched Dib on the back of the head.

"Shut up or I'll eat your flesh," Hellion aid

Xxx

An hour later, Zim, Tak, Minimoose, and GIR entered the plaza outside the sealed tunnel, dragging explosives with them.

"Alright Minimoose, take GIR and set up these explosives." Zim ordered. "We'll set the detonators!"

"SQUEAK!" The moose and the SIR Unit rushed off.

"Is this really going to work?" Tak asked.

"We'll see. Hey Dib, Skoodge! Get out of that tunnel, we need help to-" Zim paused when the yheard the sound of a weapon charging and slowly turned...

And came face to face with Invader Grimrair, who aimed a pistol at them both.

"Drop your weapons." He commanded.

"Hello there...son." Zim's eyes narrowed.

"Don't you dare call me that!" Grim growled.

"Aw...are you upset that daddy wasn't there for you?"

"No..I'm upset that 'daddy' betrayed the empire and murdered tens of billions of Irkens." Grim replied.

"I gave up trying to explain myself to you and the rest of the empire a long time ago. There is no use reasoning with a lap dog." Zim sneered. "So tell me, how has life been without me?"

"Heaven on Irk until you came back as Zim," Grim replied.

Zim laughed. "IT's not my fault the empire is so imperfect, why do you think I rebelled? Why do you think tens of thousands of my own soldiers followed me! Why do you think the Venirans themselves allied to my cause and gave my asylum?"

"Only to end up with every one of your soldiers dead, and the Venirans enslaved because of your defiance... I won't talk anymore, now you die, move to that tunnel, I'll execute you so your friends can see it clearly." The pistol began to charge.

Zim scoffed. "I'm sorry 'son', but I have a 'mission' to do."

"I said move it!"

"And I said I have a 'mission'!" Zim raised his voice.

"Is your defective PAK acting up again? You're acting more like your idiotic persona again." Grim raised an eye brow.

"I sad MISSON! Mission florp it!" Zim yelled.

"Sorry, got distracted with the puppet show!" Carlos shouted from nearby.

"What?" Grim blinked...before the building next to them exploded and sent them flying.

"BEHOLD! THE CAAARRRRLLLLOOOOSSSSSS!" Carlos cackled, fire surrounding him. "HOW DO FLAMES TASTE YOU PAK KISSER?"

That was offensive enough to make Irken viewers gasp in horror.

"INVADER GRIM! YOU'VE JUST BEEN-" Carlos was cut off when a piece of debris sent flying up by the explosion hit his head. "OW! CAN WE START OVER, I MESSED UP MY EPIC ONE LINER!"

Kurt made hand signs from a nearby roof, shaking his head.

"DAMN IT KURT! NEXT TIME OH GREAT ONE COME UP WITH A PASS WORD YOU DON'T SAY EVER YFIVE SECONDS!" The last part was directed at Zim.

"Just move it you brainless demon!" Zim pulled out a pistol.

Carlos chuckled. "At least he didn't say possessed!"

Grim landed near the rubble where GIR and Minimoose had set up the explosives and had now moved to Zim's side.

"My son, say hello to Invader Dev, perhaps he can help you to realize what a florp you've been, he learned his lesson, that much I can say for him." Zim pulled the trigger and struck one of the explosives, detonating it and sending rubble flying in all directions.

Grim looked up as large pieces of shrapnel fell towards him. "Oh florp-" They crushed him under their weight, silencing him.

In the tunnel, Hellion and Roberto watched as the rubble collapsed.

"Looks like Grim took care of them," Roberto chuckled.

"He better not have harmed my angel! She's mine florp it all!" Hellion growled.

"Don't count on it." They both looked up as two female Irkens appeared before them, one clad in purple and the other in black. Tak had joined the hidden Skullene, and both delivered a punch to their respective targets, knocking them off of the vehicle.

"Alright Kurt, start the ignition and let's get moving!" Skullene shouted as the rest of the group rushed into the tunnel and climbed on.

Kurt, who sat next to Gaz up front gave her a thumbs up and hit the ignition and triggered the hidden booster rockets.

Carlos' jaws dropped as he watched the rockets slowly unfolded. "How did you put these in?"

Kurt shrugged and then put the vehicle into full drive.

"Man, you always get the best toy-OOOOOYYYYYYSSSSSS!" Carlos shouted as the vehicle shot out of the tunnel and into the streets.

Dib, who was untied now cried out as the propulsion sent him flying to the back of the vehicle, leaving him hanging onto the back wall of the vehicle and just several feet over the rocket engines. "AH!"

"DIB WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? GET BACK UP HERE!" Carlos shouted.

"THS ISN'T ON PURPOSE!" Dib screamed.

"HONESTLY GAZ, THAT BROTHER OF YOURS!" Carlos shouted at Gaz, who was still playing her omnipresent Game Slave.

"SOMEBODY PULL ME IN!" Dib screamed.

But Carlos ignored him as a black shape leaped along the roof tops, catching up to the fast moving vehicle leap by leap. "STEP ON IT KURT, WE HAVE AN INCOMING LOVE SICK UGLY DOG!"

Kurt nodded and sped up. Dib let out a high pitched scream as the vehicle shout out onto a bridge and began to cross it with Roberto in pursuit.

"QUICK! INTO THE WATER! ROBERTO HATES IT AS MUCH AS I DO! AND BIG HEAD NEEDS TO LEARN TO WATER SKI ANYWAYS!" Carlos shouted.

Kurt nodded and sent the vehicle off the bridge and into the river. It shot along the surface at high speeds.

"TIME TO GO WATER SKIING BIG HEAD! IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOUR HEAD!" Carlos shouted.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SE-AHHHHH!" Dib was given a simple handle attached to the floor of the Vehicle's Bed by a cable and was pushed off by Carlos. He flipped through the air and landed on his feet, beginning to slide along the water behind the

"HONESTLY GAZ, WHAT WON'T YOUR BROTHER DO FOR ATTENTION?" Carlos asked Gaz, who shrugged.

"Look at him go!" Skoodge's PAK dispensed a camera that he used to take recordings of Db.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY! HELP ME!" Dib shouted. "CURSE YOU CARLOS!" His shout echoed through the city.

"He sounds like my high school principle." Carlos said as the vehicle slowed down to reasonable speeds. "Alright, I think we lost the crazy wolf."

"YAY!" GIR cheered. "WE GONNA DIE!"

"What does that mean?" Gaz raised an eye brow as Credaran pulled Dib on board with one arm.

"I know what it means, we have a maniac obsessed with screwing his sister coming at us on a jet pack!" Carlos pointed to the sky.

"I'm coming my angel! Everybody else, you shall die!" Hellion cackled as he flew towards them using a jet pack.

"Oh florp!" Tak shouted.

"Not again! I put on two strip teases to get away from that guy, I will not do a third!" Skullened growled.

"HIT IT KURT!" Carlos shouted, the driver complied.

The vehicle shot ahead, and Dib was the only one not secured to a wall, the floor ,or a seat. He shot out of the back of the vehicle, the cable that he had held on to wrapped around his wrist as he once again went water skiing on the river. "CURSE YOU KURT!"

"DANG IT DIB LEARN TO FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT! QUIT ACTING LIKE AN ATTENTON HOG AND GET BACK IN HERE!" Carlos shouted.

"I WOULD IF I COULD YOU POSSESSED MANIAC!" Dib shouted.

"OK THAT'S IT! I WAS GOING TO PULL YOU IN BUT NOW YOU CAN JUST STAY OUT THERE!" Carlos shouted back at him, but paused as he spotted something in Hellion's hands. "ROCKET LAUNCHER! EVASIVE ACTION!"

Hellion cackled as he fired the rocket.

Kurt managed to pull an amazing U turn so the rocket flew over them, but Db was sent flying, still holding onto the cable. The rocket passed inches from his big head as he screamed.

"What is with that brother of yours?" Tak asked Gaz, who shrugged once again.

"Here it comes again!" Shen shouted ,reaching for his rifle and peering through the scope at Hellion, who had another rocket.

"Ah great, the one time I forget to buy life insurance," Gaz sighed.

"I've got a plan!" Zim picked up Minimoose. "Minimoose! Code Alpha!"

"SQUEAK?"

"BIG GUNS! WE'VE GONE OVER THIS! FIRE!" Zim shouted, and the Moose opened fire.

Hellion dodged lasers and rockets as Minimoose unloaded his legendary arsenal of hidden weaponry. "YOUR MOOSE CANNOT SAVE YOU!"

"SAYS YOU! BEWARE MY MOOSE YOU INSOLENT SMEET!" Zim yelled back. "TAKE HIM DOWN MINIMOOSE!"

"SQUEAK!"

"That is so cool, the lasers come out of its eyes." Carlos commented, and Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Wait...I have an idea." Gaz stood up. "GIR!"

"Yeah Gazzy?" GIR popped up next to her from the glove compartment.

"See the flying piggy?" Gaz pointed at Hellion.

"Piggy?" GIR tilted his head.

"That's a piggy GIR, don't let it fool you." Gaz assured the robot. "It's a piggy, and it, wants, a hug."

"PIGGY!" GIR shot out of the vehicle with his rocket boosters active.

"GO FLYING GREEN DOGGY! GO!" Sophie shouted.

"PIGGY?" Suddenly something shot out of Tak's back pack.

"MIMI? I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO REACTIVATE!" Tak shouted as her SIR unit went after GIR.

Hellion, in the process of loading another rocket paused as he spotted what looked like a green dog and a purple cat coming for him. "Hm...I thought animals avoided me ever since I sacrificed that Schplora and its young...they were so jiggly and full of juice." He licked his lips. "So good- AH!" They collided with him.

"PIGGY!" GIR wrapped his arms around Hellion's neck.

"Get off of me!" Hellion snarled as MIMI hugged him around the waist.

"PGGYPIGGYPIGGY!" MIMI squealed.

"GAH! AWAY WTH YOU!" Hellion sent both of them flying off of him...only for them to be caught by Zim, who had his rocket pack activated and his mechanized wings spread. Zim cradled both SIR units in his grasp and said to them both. "GIR, MIMI, return to the others, that's an order."

"OKAY!" They said as one and flew back to the others at the river.

"Zim...I don't have a grudge against you, I just want what is mine." Hellion hissed.

"Your own sister Hellion...I thought your mother and I raised you better, so far Skullene has not disappointed me." Zim's eyes narrowed.

"Did you teach us to go on foolish crusades for some greater good? Bah," Hellion flicked one hand. "You taught me to look out for number one and that is all."

"I can only hope I wasn't able to teach you everything about that either." Zim activated his energy blades.

Xxx

As Zim and Hellion began their aerial fight, Dib crawled into the vehicle, gasping for air. "Carlos...you...Kurt..." He pointed an accusatory finger at them. "Going...down..."

"I told you to fasten your seat belt." Carlos shrugged.

"...you jerk." Dib collapsed.

"Why is he acting like its my fault? All he had to do was fasten his seat belt, it's not that hard." Carlos looked around. "And there was no call for that kind of slander!"

Suddenly something large landed on the vehicle, upsetting its balance. Roberto chuckled evilly. "I have you now Carlos!"

Suddenly every person on board-except Db and Gaz and Melissa, Kurt and Sophie pulled out laser guns-or in Carlos' case a flame thrower and aimed at Roberto. His jaw dropped, and Carlos grinned. "Bye-bye Wolfie!"

In a blinding flash of light, Roberto was sent flying across the horizon with singed fur. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CARLOS!"

Carlos sighed. "Finally, peace of mind, I can finally think."

(His thoughts: I am the Carlos.)

"Ah...much better."

"MIMI, this ride has sickened me, fetch me the bucket!" Tak commanded.

Her SIR Unit obeyed, and everybody looked away as Tak threw up in it.

"Alright we can calm down, we're finally safe...and somehow this thing is still floating even though we're not moving...are we out of fuel Kurt?" Carlos asked.

Kurt shrugged and grabbed a wrench, climbing onto the back of the vehicle to check the engines.

Suddenly Db's watch flashed to life. "Agent Mothman, can you hear me?"

"Dark Booty! Finally!" Dib smiled.

"We've been watching the show you've been forced onto, and the government won't even respond to the obvious evidence of alien life! Must apologize for all the times I did not believe you. We're preparing one of our experimental galactic ships for a rescue mission. It's engines have surpassed what was thought to be possible and we managed to triangulate the region of the galaxy you are in. Our ship shall arrive in...one week." Dark Booty said.

"Nice!...But wait, when did you have a radio strong enough to contact me over light years?"

"You'd be surprised what we have, Agent Mothman. Swollen Eye Balls, out." The transmission ended.

"Wait! Agent Dark booty, there's so much I have to tell you! Agent Dark Booty, answer me! BOOTY!" Dib shouted.

Gaz scoffed. "Weirdo."

Xxx

End of chapter


	14. Chapter 14

Kill Zim

In the last chapter, no shift keys or caps lock buttons were harmed in the making of this story. And I own nothing but my own OCs.

And don't worry about Grim, he-like his siblings shall live to die again...and I might take back what I sad about one of them not being in this...maybe...

Xxx

THE DIB STRIKES BACK O_O

"Alright! Try it now Kurt!" Carlos shouted from where he was hanging near the engines, a wrench in hand.

Kurt nodded and turned the key in the ignition. Nothing happened. He looked over his shoulder and shrugged.

Carlos rubbed his chin. "Hm...maybe if I-" Suddenly the engines shot to life, engulfing Carlos in fire. "OH YEAH BABY! BURN! BURN! BURN! YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He laughed maniacally and climbed on board as the vehicle took off again.

In the arm, using his wings to keep him up, Zim had Hellion n a head lock and was pummelling him with one fist.

"OW! Hey come on that isn't- OW fair! Foul! Foul! OW! Violation of the conduct of-OW the brotherhood of murderous-OW maniacs!" Hellion growled.

"Come on kiddo! Have some fun!" Zim cackled, punching Hellion again and again.

"After you_ daddy!_" Hellion growled before he broke free of Zim and gripped one of his mechanized wings, ripping it free of his PAK. Zim screamed as he fell towards the river. Kurt saw him and pulled yet another amazing U-Turn and managed to move under Zim, who looked up and saw Hellion diving at him, cackling like a maniac with a large, wicked knife in hand.

Zim whipped out his laser pistol and began to fire at Hellion. Down below, Skullene dragged one clawed hand down her face, leaving thin line of purple that healed up instantaneously. She went over to Carlos. "Carlos-maniac, do you have any objects that I may use to strike my brother? Something suitable to send him flying quite a distance."

"I have just the thing my hot alien friend." Carlos reached into his back pocket...and somehow pulled out a base ball bat.

"How did you fit that into your pockets?" Dib asked.

"Magic pants, duh!" Carlos said. "You can buy them where I buy my flame throwers: the Twilight Zone!"

"GUYS! BACK TO THE SITUATION PLEASE!" Zim shouted.

"Got it," Skullene tested the base ball bat and hid it behind her back. "Hey! Me Devil! Yoo hoo!" She gave her best smile, winking and waving at him, beckoning him to come closer. She slid down the front zipper of her outfit a bit, and a camera drone focused on her instantly.

Hellion saw her, and his jaw fell open, his tongue hanging out before he changed his angle of descent, heading right for her.

Carlos shuddered. "This guy does not take a hint, does he?"

Kurt shook his head.

Hellion reached out to grab Skullene...and took a base ball bat right to the side of his head. His own momentum carried him in a new direction, and he shot out of control over the buildings lining the river.

"And Hellion is going, going," Carlos shouted.

Hellion smashed right through ha sky scraper.

"GONE!" Carlos cheered alongside the rest of the group. "And the hot homicidal Irken Skullene is the winner!"

Skullene smiled, closing her eyes and nodding her head, zipping her suit back up. "I just realized...my brother is such a sucker for me."

Xxx

"WEEEEEEEEE!-" Hellion landed in front of the tunnel where the group had escaped from. He got up. "OW...no fair my angel, tempting me and then assaulting me so fiercely? I shall not fall for it again."

"Will you stop your incest fantasies for one minute and focus?" Hellion looked up to see Grimrair push a large piece of rubble off of himself with one hand. Grim looked battered and bruised, but in perfect health nonetheless.

"Ah, brother, so good to see you..." Hellion said sarcastically. "Yeah...good for you, you're alive."

"No thanks to you," Grim's eyes narrowed. "I assume they escaped again then?"

"They did," Roberto limped over to them, most of his hair burnt off...which actually left him looking normal and slightly good looking now that he didn't look like the hobo Dib consulted for advice.

"Ah, I like the new look Roberto, all that hair made you look like a hideous Renala monster," Grim smirked. "You look like a normal human now."

"Cram it Grim!" Roberto growled. "What were you two thinking, dropping your guards like that? Hellion I expected, idiot trying to boink his own sister, but I thought you'd be better Grim."

"Don't make me twist your head off you dog." Hellion growled.

"Better dog than some mentally retarded moron who falls for the most basic tricks. Come on man, falling for a woman when she shows a little flesh, three times in a row? Even my species is beyond that and it's stupider when it's your OWN SISTER!" Roberto was obviously having a bad day.

Xxx

The screen cut to the room where Red and Purple sat.

"Well looks like we have to change the name of our side show. The Dumb, the Dumber, and the not so ugly werewolf." Red sighed.

"That's a mouth full, let's just keep the old one." Purple protested.

"Eh, good point." Red shrugged.

Xxx

"Roberto...if I was not feeling intense pain in every part of my body I'd garrot you with your own tail." Grim said dully.

"And if I wasn't in such intense pain I'd claw you to bits, tear out your throats, and spit out the disgusting remains so I can was my mouth out with SUPER SOAP!" Roberto said, referencing another invention of Professor Membrane, the creator of Super Toast.

Grim sighed. "Let's just-" He paused. "Wait..." He suddenly shoved Roberto to the ground.

"What was that for you green skinned geek?" The now not so ugly werewolf yelled...right before a missile flew through where he had been and struck the now exposed tunnel, collapsing it.

Several figures leaped down and surrounded them. Three of them were massive while another was a slender figure about Grim's height.

Grim sighed. "Great, the peanut gallery and no cashews."

Sizz-Lor growled, crossing his arms. "We were glad to find you, don't make us change our minds."

"No cashews brother, but we have some very big nuts!" Hellion giggled, and not in that innocent way, in his own personal 'I'm gonna kill you' way.

"Enough," The smaller figure, an Irken clad from head to toe in black armour with a red visor said, his voice filtered. "Grimrair, Hellion, you both are legends in your own way, I respect that...but you and I would find great rewards if we were to work together."

"And you would be?" Grim narrowed one eye, the irken equivalent of raising an eye brow.

"I thought you would recognize me...after all, you and I have had a common goal for decades, we even talked about it personally at times." The Irken began to pace. "I've had a recent accident brought upon by myself, so this suit has been necessary for my recovery. You may call me Dest," The Irken Dest paused. "If I had the choice, I'd show you my face, but that is not an option sadly, this armour is quite secure."

"Dest...that sounds familiar...very familiar actually," A large grin crossed Hellion's face. "Ah yes...I remember...Grimmy might have a bad memory for those types of things, he loves to forget about them...but I remember all too well..." He paused. "An alliance you say? Let's discuss the terms of this agreement."

Xxx

"She got so mad, the muffin exploded when it hit his big head." Zim said, finishing his story.

"Good lord man, I've never heard such things," Carlos said dramatically.

"Do tell, please continue." Credaran added.

"Alright, well, after that..." Zim launched into another story about his adventures with and against Dib, who was sitting at the back.

"Man, I just seem to be really out of it. Usually I'm the hero who manages to pull through," Dib pondered. "It's Carlos, that insane maniac is upstaging me!...ok that's the wrong way to put t but he has me off my game. I need to get back into my funk, I'm gonna...start...talking to myself some more!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Dib was snatched up by something that had a rocket pack attached to it. He let out a yelp before he was taken into the air as quickly as a human could blink. Carlos looked up from the dash board. "Why did I feel a disturbance in the Carlos just now?"

Xxx

"OW!" Dib was dropped into a circle of aliens.

"Woo hoo! Snatch and grab!" The flying alien, who looked like some anthromorphic rat with green fur and bat wings cheered.

"Good job my comrade, now we have something to eat!" An Irken with green eyes wringed his fingers in that schemy way that feels so good to villains.

"What? Eat? But I uh...I'm small! Very small!" Dib said.

"Oh don't try to fool us. Your head will provide more than enough sustenance for all of us!" The Irken grinned as all dozen or so aliens pulled out forks and knives and advanced on the human.

"I-I-I..." Dib shook with fright.

'This is it, I'm going to die on some stupid alien planet far from home, without ever getting the chance to ride a moose!' Dib thought. 'They'll miss me...dad...'

But then Dib pictured his father just spending six months to clone him.

'Ok uh...how about Gaz?'

He imagined Gaz resisting the urge to kill the teenager sized clone as she changed its diaper-it needed to be given periodic downloads of information from Professor Membrane's supercomputer before it was normal.

'Uh...my class?'

He imagined them cheering as they realized he would never return.

'The Swollen Eye Balls?'

He imagined them taking credit for discovering alien life and defeating the Irken Empire while saying Dib was just some crazy big headed weirdo they let hang around.

'...anybody?'

He pictured the world spinning without anybody pausing to care if he was alive.

'So that's it then...I never realized how much my life sucked...my class thinks I'm a maniac, my dad doesn't care, my sister won't care, the Swollen Eye Balls only put up with me because I bring in results...' Dib clenched his hands into fists. "AFTER ALL I DID FOR THEM!" He shouted out loud.

The cannibal aliens paused. "Huh?"

"I just realized that no matter how much I did to help my own planet, my very species survive nobody is going to care if I die right now! My dad's obsessed with his 'real science'," Dib mocked is father's words. "To actually be a dad! Gaz doesn't give a damn about me, and everybody else hates me! After all the times I saved them from Zim! He could have actually destroyed the world a few times on his own, but who stopped him? ME!" He raised his voice. "And every time I save a life, every time I buy my people one more day to survive, nobody even cares or listens! THEY'RE ALL SO STUPID!" He slammed one fist down on a piece of rubble next to him the size of a car and somehow reduced it to dust in his rage fuelled rampage.

The aliens looked to one another nervously, drawing their weapons.

"WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER ANYMORE? WHY DO EVEN CARE ABOUT THAT STUPID PLANET FULL OF STUPID PEOPLE!" Dib suddenly turned his gaze on the aliens, his eyes blood shot and filled with rage. "YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU STUPID ALIENS MAKING ME OBSESSED WITH THE PARANORMAL! THS IS ALL! YOUR! FAULT, ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE THAT LEAD ME TO THIS!" He gripped his head as suddenly an aura of dark blue energy shot out of him. "IT MAKES ME VERY!" The aura grew like fire on gasoline, which is Carlos' shtick by the way. "VERY!" It grew again, tripling in size and making the aliens wet themselves, and one faint. "VERY!" The ground began to shake around him. "ANGRY!" His voice came out extremely low pitched and demonic as a blast of energy shot out from him.

"Mother-" The flying rat squeaked before the entire group was consumed by it.

Xxx

Carlos stood up and looked off into the distance as a dome of light grew and then vanished. "Good lord! Gaz, do you know what this means?"

"Huh?" She was still playing her Game Slave. "I dunno, where's Dib? He seems to know every weird thing that happens since he has something to do with it."

"He IS it." Carlos pointed out. "Gaz, Dib is just like you! He...is...the-" A wrench hit him in the face, accidently thrown by Kurt as he climbed back into the vehicle after working on the engines. "OW! What The hell, you ruined my dramatic speech!"

Kurt shrugged and went to the driver's seat.

Carlos sighed. "Gaz, he...is...THE DIB!"

Sophie suddenly stood up with a far-away look on her face. She transformed and took off.

Xxx

Dib looked around the crater that had formed around him. "...what just happened?"

"DIB!" Sophie, in the form of a winged alien landed several feet away. "Dib, are you alright?"

"Sophie?" Dib turned to her. "What just happened?"

"You happened!" She said as she slowly reverted to her human form. Dib blushed and averted his eyes from her half nude form.

"What do you mean?" The big headed boy asked.

"You did this Dib! It's your power, just like Gaz and Carlos!" Sophie said as she ran over to him.

"Power? I have powers like Carlos?" Dib asked. "Cool!" He looked at his hands. "But how?"

"Hell, I don't know how Carlos has his powers anyways," Sophie shrugged before she realized she had forgotten her clothes back at the vehicle and blushed, going to her Teranai form, which she felt more secure in. She stared at him for several seconds, he returned the stare.

"Uh...so..." Dib rubbed the back of his head.

"Sorry about Carlos, if you get to know him more he'll ease up," Sophie said shyly.

"You sure? He seems to hate me more and more." Dib scratched the back of his head.

Several moments of awkward silence...

Suddenly the Hideous Mutant Squid leaped out of nowhere and tackled Db, who screamed. "AH!"

"The hideous mutant squid has escaped again and is trying to eat Dib's humongous head so it can fulfill it's EVIL WILL!" Zim shouted dramatically from where he and Skullene were just approaching from the direction of the river.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Skullene raised her rifle. "Let go of that big headed human with the horrifyingly gargantuan head!"

"AH! STOP MAKING FUN OF MY HEAD!" Dib shouted as the squid tried to fit its mouth down over his humongous head. "OW! POINTY! NEEDLY! BAD BREATH! HELP!"

Skullene growled and fired a single shot. The Squid's eyes widened before it let go of Dib and flopped to the ground, a hole burned through it.

"That won't kill it, be ready!" Zim exclaimed, pulling out something...

The squid suddenly leaped up, only to be confronted by...

A plunger! The dreaded weapon that had defeated it before!

Zim shouted. "Don't make me use this! I did it once and I'll do it again!"

Letting out a high pitched squeal, the squid fled.

"How does a plunger hurt that thing?" asked Dib.

"You don't want to know, Dib-Stink. You don't want to know." Zim said holding up the plunger. "Oh, and you're welcome, I saved your big head."

"MY HEADS NOT BIG!" Dib shouted as the earth began to shake again.

"Uh Zim, don't get him mad, he HAS the power and he WILL use it." Carlos warned Zim.

"Don't worry, I have extra protection for this and I predicted this for a long time." Zim chuckled.

"How could you know about this in advance?" Sophie asked.

"Simple Carlos-Maniac, look at this X Ray." Zim held up a sheet showing an X Ray of Db's head. "What do you see?"

"Uh...nothing."

"Wrong, a black hole!" Zim exclaimed. "And what comes out of it could be a mystery. It could be a wave of doom, it could be an invasion from another galaxy, or it could be...this!" He suddenly reached down...and put his hand right through Dib's forehead and inside his giant head.

"Ah! OW! What's happening to me?" Dib shouted.

Zim began to pull, and his hand came out of Dib's giant head...with what looked like a guitar.

"Dude! He has musical instruments in there? Let me have one!" Carlos suddenly sank a hand into Dib's head.

"Ah! Get that out! That shouldn't be there!" Dib shouted. "Come on man, you're too big, it hurts!"

"That's what she said comrade Big Head!" Suddenly Carlos tugged out a guitar just like Zim's.

"Why does my head have a black hole that leads to a universe of guitars...or a music store?" Dib asked awkwardly.

"You don't want to know Dib-stink, you don't want to know." Zim put the plunger away. "Now, let's get going, we'll have to ditch the vehicle, we're going underground and it'll be a little cramped."

"Alright...ah...what...huh...?" Dib stumbled. "Ow...my head...gah..."

As the group gathered around, Carlos raised an eye brow. "Uh...Membrane, what is your problem?"

"His voice is stupid, that's what's wrong." Gaz said.

"My...HEAD!" Suddenly a hole opened in Dib's forehead, and a powerful vacuum tugged all of the fighters off of their feet and into Dib's giant head. When it was over, only Dib was standing. He stood up, groaning.

"Uh...Zim...Skullene...Gaz...Carlos? Where is everybody?" Dib looked around.

Xxx

The Tallest glanced at each other.

"What just happened?" Purple asked.

"They just went inside...that big headed kid's...big head." Red replied.

"So...did we have any bets on that happening?" Purple asked a drone.

"No," The drone shrugged.

"NO!" The Tallest cried.

"I had a thousand monies on them being crushed under a moose!" Purple sobbed.

"I had fifty thousand on them killing each other!" Red added.

Xxx

"Uh...where are we?" Carlos looked around. "Man this place is creepy...it's all so empty...and white...man this is blinding..." He began to shake. "GET ME OUTTA HERE! I'M GONNA DIE!"

"Carlos-Maniac, I'm right here!" Zim said.

"Zim!" Carlos gasped for breath. "This place is so weird."

"Relax, we're all here." Zim pointed to the group.

"What happened?" Skullene asked.

"We...fell into Dib's big head," Skoodge said awkwardly.

"Wha?" The group looked around.

"I knew it, the black hole in Dib's head must be acting up fro msomething around here! Instead of something coming out ,we went in!" Zim said.

"Maybe it was from you sticking your hand through it." Shen rolled his eyes.

"I'll have you know that this could have happened without my interference anyways." Zim looked around. "Wait...oh no...I think I know where we are."

"Where?" Credaran asked.

"Look ahead and be afraid my fellow maniacs." Zim pointed forwards. "For we. Are in the Room. WITH A MOOSE!"

Before them stood an abnormally large moose that just stared at them. It blinked, and Melissa yelped and leaped into Carlos' arms.

"Whoa there, there'll be time for that later," Carlos set her on her feet.

"A room...with a moose?" Skoodge asked.

"I tried sending Dib and his class here on a bus I modified for space travel through a worm hole." Zim shrugged. "It was the scariest place I could find."

"What's so bad about a moose?" Carlos asked.

"Look Carlos human, look and see the Moose." Zim answered.

The moose stared at them with empty eyes that were so big they saw their reflections in them. For several moments nobody did anything.

Carlos broke the silence. "IT doesn't look so bad, what's so dangerous about a moose?"

"Carlos-Maniac, do not offend the moose!" Zim warned.

"Oh what could it possibly do?" Carlos asked as he walked up to it.

Suddenly it moved, looking down at him and making a curious sound.

"Oh no, the Carlos-Maniac has awoken the moose!" Zim shook with fright.

"Hey Moosey! What are you looking at? I don't have any nuts on me." Carlos looked around.

"Can't have any nuts when you 'are' nuts." Gaz grumbled.

"Hey! There was no call for-uh...what are you doing?" Carlos asked as the moose reached down with its head.

"AH!" The entire group backed away. Even Gaz backed away nervously as their companion screamed in pain.

Xxx

Hellion paused in mid step. "I sense a disturbance...like somebody...has disturbed...A MOOSE!"

Grim, Roberto, Sizz-Lor, Hobo 678, Lorak, and the mysterious Irken stared at him.

"Brother...you're an idiot." Grim said before they proceeded.

Xxx

"My tallest! We have re-established a connection to the main group! They are in...another dimension." A drone said dramatically.

"Put it on screen, let's see them scream more." Red chuckled, wringing his fingers. "That Carlos kid was right, that feels so right."

The screen showed the room with the moose...and what was happening to Carlos.

"AH! OH DEAR GOD- AH FORGOT I CAN'T- OW! OH I'VE NEVER FELT SO MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE!"

The Tallest and their bridge crew stared in shock and horror.

"I'm gonna throw up." Purple said before he ran off.

"NOT ON THE NACHOS!" Red shouted after him.

Xxx

All over the universe, aliens recoiled in horror as they saw what was happening.

Xxx

The Meekrob stared.

"That...was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen." One General commented.

"I pity that human." A second said.

Xxx

The Vortian slaves looked up from their lunch breaks, which consisted of scraps...and threw up. The Irken guards threw up ten times as much, and as they fainted ,some slaves took advantage of this to escape.

Xxx

"OH NO! NO! I NEED THAT TO DO STUFF WITH!" Carlos wailed.

In his house, all of his siblings had their jaws dropped.

One of them sighed. "This could only happen to Carlos."

Suddenly the tall cloaked figure appeared in a pillar of fire. "Did I hear Carlos? Where is he anyways?"

"Look to the screen." The boy pointed.

The father did, and his eyes widened as he saw his son being tortured in ways he could not imagine by an otherworldly moose.

"Uh...coffee break." He vanished.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Carlos screamed.

Xxx

Professor Membrane looked at the TV. He rubbed his chin with one hand. "Hm.,..that boy is being attacked by an abnormally large moose."

He looked to his fellow scientists. "Science people! We must board a Black Hole Generator so we may save that boy from his moosey fate!" He leaped up and vanished out a door. "IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!" He made dramatic poses as he flew through the air and landed in his office. "...Coffee break."

Xxx

"AH!" Finally the moose stepped back, its mouth and hooves covered in blood.

Carlos twitched as he sat on the floor, bloodied and bruised.

"I told him not to anger the moose!" Zim shouted.

"That...was so..." Tak shuddered. "Wrong."

"Carlos!" Melissa dragged him back.

"Mommy? Can we kill Kurt now?" Carlos asked with a far away look in his eyes.

Kurt shook his head.

"It sucks to be you," Gaz shuddered.

"I wouldn't wish that even upon the Tallest." Credaran added.

"That moose is not of this world." Shen stared...his goggles had shattered during Carlos' torture session. Pulling out a fresh pair, he slid them on.

"This is why I wanted to send Dib here, he would have said something to the moose, and it would have done that to him!" Zim nodded.

"Of all the plagues I have seen in the world Zim, I have to say...good one." Tak added.

"But sadly instead of ridding us of Dib, it has crippled one of our best fighters." Skullene pointed out.

"Such a shame." Gaz sighed.

"I know, poor Carlos." Skoodge stated.

"Not that. It didn't get to do that to Dib!" She growled. "It would have been so FUNNY!" As she said that last word ,she floated in the air, her eyes glowing red as tentacles came out of the ground around her and a ring of fire surrounded the group.

"...she's definitely 'The Gaz'." Sophie whispered to Melissa.

"I know." Melissa nodded.

Xxx

"Uh...maybe we should go somewhere else." Red suggested.

"Yeah," A pale Purple nodded. "Do you think we'll get any ratings from what happened with uh...the moose?"

"ALL HALE THE MOOSEY LORD!" GIR shouted on the screen.

The moose looked at the robot.

"GIR, watch-" Zim paused when the Moose licked GIR's face, making him giggle. "Ok...so it only attacks people who offends it...I can respect that."

"HOW DID I OFFEND IT BY ASKING SOMETHING!" Carlos shot to his feet. "That...that was just...momma." He collapsed.

"He was taunting it. If anybody finds this recording or it is being broad casted to the universe. Remember all aliens ,stink beasts and other life forms," Zim looked right at the camera drone that had followed them. "DO NOT TAUNT THE MOOSE!"

Xxx

Now for Episode three of The Smart, The Evil, and the not so ugly Were Wolf!

**Episode Three: Roberto and the magic shoes**

"Stupid aliens, burning my beautiful fur off," Roberto grumbled. "OH I'll get them for this yet!"

"You know, talking to yourself is a universal sign of insanity,"

Robert spun. "Who asked you- eh?" He saw a pair of floating aliens that turned into a pair of converse. "Huh?"

"Do not fear, we are beings of pure energy, we have merely taken these forms, as they can be comprehended by your brain." One said.

"But I just saw you a second ago and you were-"

"Do not question the shoes!" The second one barked.

The first sighed. "Very well, let's try this." They turned into a large moose. "Is this better?"

"A talking moose...eh, I've seen weirder." Roberto shrugged. "So what do you want?"

"We are here for several reasons. First, the destruction of the Irken leaders, Tallest Red and Tallest Purple." The moose said. "Second...the destruction of the one known as Carlos, he is a risk to everything around him."

"I'll say," Roberto looked at his now hairless fore arms. "That pyromaniac, girl friend stealing $#^%%$^%$! He swore.

IT cut to a message from Red and Purple, who cleared their throats. "We, the tallest of the Irken Empire do not condone such language on our shows!"

Red sighed. "This will keep them from suing us for all the offensive language being tossed around out there."

"But...if they try to sue us, couldn't we just blow them up?" Purple asked.

"That's plan B." Red replied.

"Who could sue us anyways? We're rulers of the empire!"

"They have one weapon that even Invaders are never ready for." Red said grimly.

"The lawyers?"

"Yes."

Xxx

The batman theme song began to play, but instead of saying 'Bat Man' it said 'Lawyers!'

Several Vortian lawyers slid down a pole and rushed to their space craft, repeating the same phrase. "Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue!"

They took off, going to sue somebody.

Xxx

Red shuddered. "Back to the show!"

The Meekrob, now combined into a moose looked around awkwardly. "Uh...are you done?"

"Yeah pretty much...so what do you want from me?" Roberto asked.

"We want to help you destroy both the Tallest and Carlos," The Meekrob Moose said. "For this, we are ready to give you modifications to enhance your fighting performance!"

"Uh...alright...but why me?"

"Because the modifications have a bonus, they make you look less ugly."

"HEY!"

"Do not taunt the moose!" The moose shouted.

Xxx

"Alright, after we get through here, we should be home free, as the human saying goes." Zim said as the group gathered at the portal that Zim had constructed wth spare parts that he somehow pulled out of Gir's head.

"How did he carry all of that anyways?" Skullene asked.

"I don't know...but I found this in there." Zim pulled out the Invader Apocalyptic game Red had offered.

Gaz's eyes snapped open and she snatched it out of his hand. "Mine!"

"Let's just go before I accidently do something to offend the moose again, I've gotten on his good side so far, I don't want to go through 'that' again." Carlos was now on good terms with the moose, and was even having tea with it. "It was worse than when that bear violated me wit -" He gagged. "I won't finish that sentence!"

"Alright, the portal is now stable!" Zim shouted. "I'll set a grenade here so we never have to come through here again." As he spoke he produced a disc shaped grenade and set it on a timer. "Go now!"

One by one, they all stepped through. Zim looked to the moose. "Fare thee well Moose, whatever has corrupted your soul to do such things to Carlos well never bother us, that's for sure!"

Before the moose could take its wrath out on Zim like it had Carlos, Zim dropped the grenade and stepped through.

The moose had time to think before it exploded. 'Not again.'

Xxx

"Ah...the real world again!" skoodge inhaled deeply. "IT smells so...so...ew!" He gagged.

"Where are we?" Carlos shouted, looking around what seemed to be a giant graveyard of ships.

"The wrecking yards! We're in the Rongarion Dessert!" Zim gasped. "We must have skipped dozens of miles!"

"Well what do you know; Dib's big head came in handy!" Carlos noted. "And now I'll never have to go through that moosey torture again."

"GUYS! HEY GUYS!"

The group looked up.

"No, it can't be." Skullene shook her head. "Why us?"

Dib landed next to them with a rocket pack, which he dumped. "You won't believe all the crazy stuff that happened to me after you vanished! First, I got kidnapped by a tribe of cannibal aliens that looked like ponies with sixteen eyes that shoot fire, and they thought I was their god and made me help them wage war on some other tribe of..." He went on and on and on.

"Uh...Dib?" Carlos spoke up.

Dib prattled on. "And after I managed to stop the anti matter from colliding with matter and destroying the sun I followed the alien princess back here..." Several more minutes of chatter followed.

"Dib." Every person and alien in the group said at the same time.

"And Chuck Norris was so grateful that he gave me this jet pack so I could fly here!"

"DIB!" The entire group shouted.

"What?"

"We don't care!" They snapped.

"Gee, sounds like you guys had a bad time," Dib commented.

"You have no idea Comrade Big-Head, you have no idea." Carlos shuddered. "I'm never going to Canada again."

Xxx

End of chapter

Is this the last we've seen of the Moose? Will Carlos ever fully recover? Why did Chuck Norris give Dib of all people a jet pack? Find out next time on 'Kll Zim'!


	15. Chapter 15

Kill Zim

Xxx

"And rule number seventeen: Do not talk about the Carlos." Carlos explained to Skoodge as they went. "Do not anger the Carlos. Do not breathe the Carlos, and most of all...the cake is a lie."

"How did that have anything to do with this entity you call 'The Carlos'?" Skoodge asked, wearing spectacles as he wrote down notes on a clip board.

"I'd answer that, but I lost faith in your ability to keep track when I saw you drawing a picture instead of recording my words," Carlos pointed to the picture of a pony Skoodge had made.

The group was camped out in the ruins of a small village-much like the one where Shen and Dev had faced one another in combat before. Carlos was trying to explain to Skoodge, Credaran, and Dib what 'The Carlos' truly was. Skullene and Shen had gone off somewhere while Zim and Take were posted on one of the towers, keeping an eye out for any attackers.

Tak looked at a holographic display that was projected from her gauntlet. "Alright, nobody has reached the Control Pod yet. According to the random chatter there's a massive amount of copy troopers and natural predators in the area near it. The Tallest also placed it right underground. It crashed right through and went into a nest of those Veniran Mutants."

"It will be difficult to acquire it, and more so to escape with it." Zim nodded. "But I have just the idea for how to use it. But we'll need help lots of it."

"And I assume that's why you've been chatting with Credaran." Tak looked up, one leg dangling from the edge of the balcony they were on. The balcony went around the entire tower and allowed them to see in all directions. It had once been used for posting militia to watch for threats.

"Indeed, " Zim watched as the camera drones focused on Carlos and his explanations. "There are over two thousand Venirans in the Dome of Conquest, and tens of thousands more on the Massive."

"And you want to start a slave uprising?" Tak asked.

"The Venirans are the main source of manual labour aboard military ships and installations. If we can inspire just a few hundred, the rest will rise up. Even centuries of subjugation cannot erase their defiance." Zim leaned back against the wall of the tower.

Tak sat down and slid up to her waist into her sleeping bag. "You've got that right. Give them a chance, maybe a few guns and they'd do a lot of damage, maybe even hijack some ships."

Zim slid down the wall until he was sitting. "All I need is one shot with the Massive's Cleansing Beam. If I can lower the power output, turn it from a club and into a scalpel I could have it lock onto me while I am standing at...say the Dome's Power Generators? The emergency power would take several minutes to become operational, in that time we could eliminate the guards."

"And the Tallest," Tak smirked.

"Precisely. I will take back my empire, and the first thing I shall do is destroy the Control Brains with my own two hands." He flexed his sharpened fingers.

"Incoming," Tak suddenly glanced at an approaching Camera Drone. "We need to look like we're not discussing anything serious. I have a plan."

"I'm all ears," Zim said, right before Tak scooted over to him and kissed him.

She had to grip his shoulders to pull her to his level-he had somehow grown even faster since unlocking his powers as Tallest Splorchamheimer. She came up to his chest after his growth spurt had ceased-leaving him at over six feet in height, closer to his former glory.

Zim gripped her thighs and lifted her up, returning the kiss.

Many Irkens wolf whistled as they watched the two make out on live television. Others were revolted at the obvious signs of defection.

The Camera Drone soon turned away and began to return to Carlos.

Zim lifted Tak into his lap, her hands cupping his face and tightening their grip as both Irkens felt that same, unfamiliar sensation they felt back in Renora: a handy thing humans call Pleasure. Tak felt Zim's hands slide up and under her purple shirt, his long fingers travelling over her exposed flesh until he reached her bra. The Irken and Human anatomies were surprisingly similar, to the point where males possessed dicks, and females had breasts and the 'proper plumbing' as some humans might call it.

Of course it was all dysfunctional, as Irkens had not mated in centuries and Zim's current body was sterile, unlike his original one which had been used to help create five Irken Smeets-two of which were hunting him.

He slid his hands under the bra and began to massage Tak. She groaned into his mouth, and they toppled over.

"Go back." They stopped just as Zim got her shirt off and Tak got his shirt almost off.

((NO LEMON FOR YOU...unless requested. O_O))

They looked over to see GIR, his eyes glowing red.

"Go back," He said again.

"GIR?" Zim sat up.

"What's with him?" Tak asked.

"The last time he did this was when I found that Splor Base." Zim replied.

"Go back...to where it began." GIR said. "To where the ending of dreams began. Go back."

"GIR, what do you mean?" Zim asked, standing up.

GIR looked up at him. "Go back to where the ending began; go to where the devils were born. Go to where Tyrants become one."

"What do you mean? Where are these places?" Zim asked.

GIR looked out towards the endless terrain of sand and rock. "My name...Gir...Tallest...Gir...Gir..."

He looked up at Zim. "You grew up, son."

Then he fell over and was silent for several moments before leaping to his feet, cheering as he punched himself in the face. "I'm gonna sing the doom song!"

He flew off, singing the Doom Song.

"Tallest...Gir." Zim said. "Tak...by Irk...that was what is was all along. GIR was not an acronym like SIR...it was his real name."

"Tallest Gir? I never heard of that." Tak pulled her shirt back on.

"Tallest Gir...was my father. The Control Brains destroyed him for refusing to accept their will, long after I became Tallest but shortly before my rebellion." Zim said. "All this time...of course. He was a master of design. Gir's body is several millennia old. What if...he hid a copy of himself in a defective SIR unit and tossed it into the trash? Things in the trash on Irk can be there for tens of thousands of years and be found again. But his brain...the Tallest used junk to make it..." He paused. "But GIR always hid things in his head that I know he never used to have...what if my father hid a chip containing his personality in the SIR's head?"

"Zim..." Tak looked at him. "You and GIR...this means you're some of the most ancient and powerful royalty in all of the Irken Empire."

"Indeed. But my father...reduced to being a robot slave." Zim sighed sadly. "Dad...you deserved so much better...so much better than this fate...better than a son like me."

"_HAIL TALLEST GIR!" The Captain of the Irken Guard shouted._

"_HAIL TALLEST GIR!" Millions of gathered Irkens cheered as Tallest Gir, standing at over six feet ,clad in black robes and with blue eyes descended the steps of the palace, accompanied by his son, Splor; his wife, Geera; and a squadron of royal guards._

_Splor looked nervously at the crowds. He was only ten Irken years old at the time. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Gir._

"_It is alright my son. Wave to your people, they adore us." Gir waved to the crowds. "We have provided everything to them and in return they give us their loyalty. They have given it to you also, as at the rate you grow you will most likely replace me."_

_Splor smiled. "Like that'll ever happen."_

Xxx

"_I, Tallest Gir, hereby surrender my power ,authority ,and title as Tallest of the Irken Empire to my successor and heir-who has outgrown me by a full foot: Tallest Splorchamheimer!" Gir declared as he bowed to Splor, joined by an entire hall of Irkens who bowed to the golden clad Tallest._

"_Please, do not bow to me dad." Splor eased his father to his feet. "No matter what my title is, you are my father first, I would never ask you to bow to me."_

_Gir smiled. "Thank you son."_

Xxx

"_Irken Gir, for refusal to adjust to the new authority of the Irken Empire, you are sentenced to death by PAK deactivation." One of the Control Brains announced._

"_No!" Splor forced his way through ha crowd of Irkens. "No! Stand down! I am Tallest Splorchamheimer! I rule this empire, not YOU! LET HM GO-"_

_It was too late. Gir glared up at the Control Brain as a cable slid down to his PAK and inserted itself into a slot. Gir looked at Splor one last time and smiled. "Son! Go to where this started! Go to where-"_

_His body began to spasm, foam gathering at his mouth._

"_DAD!" Splor revealed a massive blade that came out of one gauntlet of his armour and cut the cable._

_Gir fell to the floor._

"_Error. Tallest Splorchamheimer, you have interfered with a justified punishment." A Control Brain droned._

"_To the shortest with your punishments! I am the Tallest, remember that ,you over grown calculators!" Splor knelt over his father. "Dad! Dad!"_

_He turned the body over. Gir stared up at him with empty eyes. Splor had been too late._

_Staring with horrified eyes at the body of Tallest Gir, Splor did the only thing he could think of: he screamed at the top of his lungs. "FATHER!"_

Xxx

_Splor glared at the Planet Irk n the view screen as the last of his fleet pulled away from it._

"_Sir, our last battle group has pulled away, and we have set course for Venira." The Helmsman reported. "The Veniran Chancellor is on the line right now."_

"_Put him through," Splor sighed._

_A Veniran appeared on the screen. "Ah, Splor my friend! We have received your transports and our orbital defence grid is on line. All of our fleets and colonies are committed to helping you now."_

"_Good. The Control Brains will not let me live until they themselves are destroyed." Splor stated. "This is war now Chancellor. The Control Brains are driving my empire into ruins one step at a time. Miyuki has remained behind to monitor what the Control Brains shall do next."_

"_Send her my regards." The Chancellor smiled. "You are a true Irken, Tallest Splorchamheimer. I am honoured to fight with you. Veniran Command out."_

Xxx

Now Zim saw memories from security cameras wirelessly hacked by his host-less PAK.

"_Tallest Miyuki, Former Tallest Splorchamheimer has been eliminated." A Control Brain droned. "Invader Apoc-code name Apocalyptic is returning as we speak."_

_Miyuk, sitting on her throne, bit her lip, one hand digging into her arm rest. A tear slipped out of one blue eye. She bowed her head, gripping it with her hands and pulling on her antennae._

_Her love, her Splor was dead at the hands of his own brother!_

_But when Apoc arrived, it was not with pride, but with one intact PAK from Splor himself and a plan to preserve her lover. She agreed to it, and the plan was set._

_But Apocalyptic vanished not too long afterwards, never to be seen again._

Xxx

"And so my past history begins to draw to a close." Zim drawled. "Now I shall carve a new future for myself and the empire, whether it wants it or not. I shall carve it with the blade, and the fire, and the immortal will of my father. Even in death he drove me onwards and now I still fight with his guidance. But this place...where Tyrants become one...where devils were born...were being past tense so whatever these 'devils' are won't be there most likely...but what did he mean?"

"We can figure it out later," Tak sat back in her sleeping bag.

"You're right...but Tak...will you stay with me?"

Smiling, she got out of her sleeping bag and fit herself into his. Wiggling to make room for him, she felt his arms around her and rested her head on his chest.

"At first I thought sleep was a defect," Tak yawned. "But it's so...wonderful...so beautiful."

"It is...it lets us see what we want to Tak," Zim kissed her. "But I don't want anything about ths moment to change."

Xxx

"So that means-" Dib said.

"Yes." Carlos nodded.

"So my mother-"

"Yes!" Carlos nodded eagerly.

"But Gaz-"

"Nope, different mother dude. But don't blame your dad for it; our kind tends to...play cruel jokes." Carlos said.

Xxx

Skullene was leaning against Shen's side, covered by blankets up to her neck. She had her rifle leaning against the wall next to her in case they were attacked. Her armour lay in pieces nearby, and her outer shirt and boots were set neatly next to the couple. Shen was clad in only his pants and goggles.

"Tomorrow," Shen muttered aloud.

Skullene glanced up at him. "What?"

"Tomorrow decides everything." Shen stated.

Skullene nodded. "I know."

They sat there for several minutes.

"I love you." That came out of nowhere...well actually out of Shen's mouth. "I love you Skullene."

And then he pulled her into a kiss-essentially sending her perception of reality to dream land for several moments. She gripped his arms, but didn't pull away, instead she straddled his waist.

She growled into his ear. "You. Me. After we're off this rock. Any arguing and I'll cut your horns off."

"Deal." And they began from where they left off.

Xxx

"No way..." Dib said.

"What is it?" Gaz looked up.

"I told genius here what he is." Carlos sighed.

"UH...we didn't hear anything." Skoodge said. "You whispered too quietly!"

Carlos sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you."

He sat down. "You know that in the universe, there are many things that are not sentient ,and do not think. They are forces of nature. Like light, or gravity, and death. But...there are things in this universe that 'do' think. They have personifications of themselves, in the forms of beings of such power that even the Meekroob that sent that other moose after me," Carlos pointed to a badly bruised moose that was significantly smaller than the one that had mauled him was laying with Credaran pointing a rifle at it. "Are weak compared to them. Now they don't do anything drastic n the universe, they need to keep things spinning and everything balanced or else they risk losing power."

"How so?" Skoodge asked.

"Squeak?" Minimoose asked.

"Well, each personification relies on what they represent. Truth, Deception, Charity, Greed...Insanity, many more." Carlos said. "Some of them like to uh...boink mortals of different races from time to time."

"And WE," Db pointed to himself, Gaz, and Carlos. "Are the resulting hybrids!"

"Whoa..." Skoodge shook his head. "But how is it possible?"

"They can take the form of any species, and even copy their internal organs. This allows them to mate with others, but if a child is born, they have just a tiny bit of power of their parents. They can make themselves look like the demons that Dib accuses me of being possessed by, or even angels. Now there are real ones, sure ,but...the difference between these people and heaven and hell...well..."

He sighed. "Put it this way. Hell can't interfere, and heaven won't as far as I know. I know about as much about whatever god exists than you all do about your own."

(This is not to target any religions, it's an explanation for a fictional set of beings and is not meant to offend anybody)

"As I said, these beings can make children who further represent them. Like I," Carlos stood up, speaking dramatically. "The Carlos," His voice turned dark and demonic, his eyes red, his feet cloven, and his hands became clawed, and a tail and a pair of bat wings appeared. "Am the son of Insanity himself. I. Am. The Carlos, Prince of Insanity!" He cackled maniacally. "My father's power s my power, and the insanity I spread empowers him further!"

As he set himself on fire, Dib stared at him as though he had not just turned not what he had thought was a demon of the highest calibre. "Wait...if you're so powerful, why can't you kill Kurt?"

Carlos suddenly reverted to his human form. "That mo-fo is just too damn fast! No offense Kurt."

Kurt, who was sitting nearby shrugged.

"Seriously, he's an athlete," Carlos sighed. "But anyways...Dib. Your dad slept with Lady Liberty-and no not the statue, I mean the woman who represents all liberty in the universe. That's why you're so determined to save humanity...even though I don't see much to save. And well, apparently Terror got wind of how good Professor Membrane is-compensating for being a bad parent apparently, disguised herself as Liberty with some prodding from Temptation, and uh...you see the result there." He looked at Gaz, who shrugged.

"So...we're only...half siblings?" Dib asked.

"Sorry man, it's the truth." Carlos shrugged.

Gaz sighed as Dib looked on, shocked. "Dib..." He looked at her. "Listen, just because my mom was some hussy who got jealous of your mom, it doesn't change a thing. I might despise your voice and I want to kill you right now instead of waste time talking to you...but you're my brother, either way, and your big head is only 'mine' to beat."

Dib smiled a bit...as this was the first time Gaz had ever said anything positive about him.

"And the whole pursuit of freedom is...kind of a turn on for some people." Carlos whispered to Dib, pointing at a sleeping Sophie, who was waking up. "Dude, she was staring at you since you two met. She has not dated in years; she needs a man who knows his loyalties." He smiled. "And lucky for you, Lady Liberty is good friends with Lady Luck. Give it a shot my friend."

He winked, and went off to do his own thing with Melissa.

Dib swallowed his courage and looked at Sophie as she got out of her sleeping bag. "What time is it?"

"I don't know, the sun is still not coming up for hours though." Dib said. "You still have plenty of time to sleep."

Sophie yawned. "I don't want to sleep anymore. I can't, I'm too...nervous." She sighed. "We might die, hell we'll most likely die. I'm dragged on another adventure by Carlos, and this time it gets me killed!"

Dib smiled. "We won't die. We have some of the best fighters I've ever seen here."

He looked around. "We have a kid who has the power of Insanity, and a lightning shooting mutant. We have a powerful Veniran warrior, a Vortan Pirate Captain, four very powerful Irkens, a SIR Unit that is a walking dooms day device, a moose that actually is a doomsday device, a girl with the power of Terror, a boy who's so strong and fast that not even Carlos or an army of aliens can kill him," He smiled. "And a shape shifter who can turn into any alien."

Sophie smiled. "And a brave boy with a heart bigger than his head by a long shot, and the power of Liberty...as cheesy as that sounds."

Dib let that slide since it made him feel better about his head.

Sophie reached up and plucked his glasses off of his face. His vision wasn't bad enough that he needed them to see her, but he would need them to see things far away.

She leaned forward, and touched her lips to his. Their hands intertwined, and Dib took his first actual kiss! Sophie pressed herself up against him as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Gaz cracked a smile. "About damn time."

Xxx

The Smart, the Evil, and the no longer ugly Were Wolf...and friends

Roberto cackled as electricity flew between his palms. "Yes! Now I finally possess the power to destroy the Carlos! Melissa shall be mine once more! I AM ROBERTO! FEAR ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Eek!" He doubled over as a foot slammed into his nether regions.

"That was annoying." Dest sighed.

"You're telling me, I've only known him about...two days and I wanted to kill him after two hours." Grim added.

"I wanted to kill him before I even met him," Hellion sighed, licking the blood of another unfortunate alien off of his hands. "Ooh, dextro-amino, very rare."

"HOW THE CRAP CAN YOU EVEN TELL THAT?" Roberto yelled.

"Oh, that's quite simple Roberto-Dog," Hellion smiled innocently. "I am implanted with a scanner that allows me to determine the biochemistry of anything I eat before I even swallow it. Now this helps me to avoid things like pure meat with all that disgusting grease or even worse...H2o." He hissed.

"Isn't that water?" Roberto asked.

"Yes, yes it is," Hellion nodded, sounding bored. "The science lesson bores me. I want to kill something!"

"Hellion, look at what you are sitting on and say that again," Grimrair sighed, exasperated by his brother's stupidity.

Hellion looked at the pile of dead contestants and copy soldiers. "Ooh! Cloned blood!" He began to lap up white, synthetic blood with his tongue like a dog. "Tastes like doom!"

Roberto almost threw up then and there.

Grim growled. "Hellion, I grow sick of your blood thirst and lust of destruction."

Hellion slowly twisted his head around 180 degrees and then somehow turned t upside down as he glared at Grim. He said in a deadly voice. "And what are you gonna do about it, _Grimmy_?"

One of Grim's energy scythes shot to life. The two Irkens glared at one another.

Roberto sighed. "Mortal Combat."

Xxx

"Alright, we're moving out!" Zim called from the tower after the sun rose in the horizon. "Get your pants back on and grab your weapons!" He expertly leaped down and landed on his feet in a crouch. Gir cheered as he hopped onto Zim's shoulder ,and Minimoose took position over his other shoulder.

"Squeak!"

"Good work Minimoose." Zim nodded. "We have only a few hours to go to the Delta Pod. It's right through the next set of hills, after that it's a straight shot to the Dome of Conquest."

Tak landed next to him, MIMI rubbing against the side of her head while balancing on her left shoulder. "So how exactly we will enact your uh...operation..."

"Operation Epic Fail!" Gir giggled.

Zim sighed. "Dad, if I ever get you out of that robotic body, you will never choose mission names...ever."

Carlos and Melissa stuck their heads out of one of the shacks. Carlos yawned. "What time is it?"

Melissa sighed. "Time to go."

"Put your clothes back on first." Skoodge said.

The two humans looked at themselves...and were very glad they were hidden inside the shack. Several seconds later Carlos burst out of the shack, landing dramatically, fully clad...except for his pants. He looked down. "Uh..anybody see my jeans?"

Kurt tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to where they were hanging under a sign that said 'Free Pants of Insanity'.

"Cool! I only had regular pants ,but these are pants of INSANITY! Man this will make dad proud!" Carlos retrieved them. Nobody had the heart to tell him that they were his old pants.

Melissa came out, fully dressed and satisfied. "Alright! I'm ready to strangle something cute and roast some flesh!" She sad all of this with an innocent grin...and lightning flowing through her body.

Sophie and Dib got out of their tents and stretched a bit. Sophie pulled her shoes on while Dib grabbed his coat and glasses.

Gaz, who had been playing her Game Slave all night long yet did not look tired did not acknowledge them except by standing up.

Skoodge, Tak, Zim, Skullene, Credaran, and Shen gathered around, checking their individual weapons.

Zim stood up on a rock, overlooking the gathered comrades. "Alright, this is the last stretch. The final phase of my plan." He had silently sent instructions to each member of the group not to openly discuss their plan, lest the Tallest bomb them from orbit before they could execute it. "When this all started out, I was some insane wannabe Invader, and we were all scattered, fighting our own battles. In the short time we've fought alongside one another I've come to trust uh...some of you...not Dib...or Gaz...or Carlos...or Gir." He shook his head. "And now we will fight for our very lives! Today, we will face whatever awaits us at that pod, we will take control of the Massive's guns, and we shall use the mto burn our enemies to cinders!"

"WOO! BURNING!" Carlos cheered. "ALL HAIL THE NEW PYROMANIAC KING...uh...CO-KING! Because we all know I already fit the bill."

Kurt nodded.

"Now onwards I say, to victory and freedom!" Zim proclaimed.

Zim, Gir, Minimoose, Tak, Skoodge, Skullene, Shen, Credaran, Carlos, Kurt, Sophie, Melissa, Dib, and Gaz proceeded out of the small village and out into the hills, gripping their weapons-or in Gaz's case a game slave. Zim led them, with Gir skipping next to him and Minimoose hovering overhead. Zim looked up at the sky; in the distance he could see lights that represented dozens of Irken war ships.

He hissed. "After I'm off this rock, I'll be making a few changes."

Xxx

End of chapter, the next will focus on Grim and Hellion and the mysterious Dest more


	16. Chapter 16

Kill Zim

Xxx

"We're off to blow them up! We're off to blow them up! We've got a big pile of explosive stuff! They are all sitting the trunk! Kill them, kill Kurt, probably both! Something, something, my ears now hurt!" Carlos sang as the group came into yet another narrow trail in the hills.

"Is there a song that you have that does _not_ talk about explosives, killing, and Kurt?" asked Skoodge, who struggled to climb over the rocks.

"I don't know little man. Maybe." Carlos said as he shrugged.

Xxx

"He's always sung about that." One of his siblings, Jack, grumbled.

"Yeah. He sang that at my birthday." Said his little sister, Sally.

"And you all wonder why he's getting the family inheritance." Said the father, who was nibbling on a human arm.

"The family jewels?" asked another one of his sons, Matthew.

"Shut up. At least he's unlocked the insanity." Said the father, who then scarfed down the whole arm in a shower of blood. "Mmmm...AB Negative..."

"And he got mauled by a moose." Jack said, ignoring his father's horrifying table manners.

"And he lives. I forget how many songs he's posted on YouTube." The father chuckled.

Xxx

"And this song is called 'Kurt gets stomped'." Carlos said, and then began to sing to the tune of the burger king song. "Kurt's getting stomped. Kurt's getting stomped. Kurt's getting stomped. He's getting stomped. He's getting stomped. He's getting stomped. Oh, he's so getting stomped. He's so getting stomped. He is getting sto-omped-!"

"You stole that from Burger King! You can get sued." Said Dib.

"Oh they tried. But we solved it outside of court." Carlos replied.

"You threatened them?" Dib said with wide eyes.

"What? No! What kind of maniac do you think I am?" asked Carlos appalled.

"A homicidal one?" asked Gaz.

"Oh, I told you. I am an avenger on an unholy quest of vengeance. Plus all I was offer them my mom's Devil's Fruitcake!" Carlos said, holding a fruit cake that was red all over and had horns.

Suddenly, the air grew cold, and a dark, demonic whisper split the air. "_Taste..._"

"Did anyone hear a voice right now?" asked Zim.

"I did." Said Tak.

"Not me." Said Carlos.

"Do maniacs even hear mysterious voices?" asked Dib.

"Surprisingly no. One taste and it solved all of their problem. Kurt here even likes it." Said Carlos pointing at Kurt who nodded.

"Can I have a taste?" asked Skoodge.

"Knock yourself out my little my green man."

Skoodge took the cake and took a bite before vanishing in a pillar of fire, leaving a circle of ashes where he had stood.

"Oh my god! Skoodge vanished into thin air!" Dib shouted.

A few seconds later Skoodge reappeared.

"All mighty Tallest Splorchamheimer!"

"Yes, Skoodge?" asked Zim.

"Not you, Zim. But all mighty Tallest that was horrible? Carlos why didn't you tell me that would happen?" shouted Skoodge.

"What happened?" The son of Insanity asked.

"I was at this place. I don't know. There this guy holding an axe and he tried to kill me!" Skoodge cried.

"You know this sounds familiar. This is like when my brother Travis tried mom's fruitcake." Said Carlos.

"What happened to him?" asked Skoodge.

"I don't know. I found him in the kitchen panicking and the odd thing was that he was surrounded by ashes." Carlos pondered the possibility that his mother's fruit cake was as insane as the rest of the family. "It never happened to Kurt or me."

Kurt made hand signs that said 'I was surprised, but that cake is so damn good I can't help myself.'

"See! Kurt agrees that it is delicious!" Carlos said.

"Oh come on, how can a cake do all that?" Dib asked.

"Well how about you test it for yourself seeing as it won't send me anywhere," Carlos said before he took a bite out of the cake and remained where he was. "Mmmmm...fruity..."

"Look, know I've seen ninja ghosts, vampire babies, and big foot using the belt sander in my garage but there s no way that a cake with a pair of horn decorations on it and red colouring can send you to another universe." Dib said.

"_Taste for yourself...and see..."_ The scary demonic voice of doom split the air.

"Ok, which one of you guys keeps saying that?" Dib demanded. "Come on, out with it!"

"It ain't me man. I'm insanity, not terror, that's your sister there and she's preoccupied." Carlos looked at Gaz, who was much ahead of them and sitting on top of the next ridge, playing Invader Apocalyptic on her Game Slave as she waited for them.

"As I was saying, a cake cannot do all of that." Dib held up the cake. "It's just a stupid cake...a very delicious looking stupid cake..." He sniffed it. "A very delicious stupid cake I would like to lick..." He quivered as he stared at the cake, his stomach rumbling. "I have to taste this cake! I won't eat it all I'll just take a bite!" He took a bite out of it and vanished into thin air in a pillar of fire.

"Where did the dib-human go?" Credaran asked.

"_He has gone to a universe of skinless, blood soaked evil covered in leeches with maggots for blood and the sandwiches are a little too dry!"_ The demonic voice of doom proclaimed.

"Ok that is really annoying now," Zim looked around for the source of the voice.

Xxx

"Uh... " Dib looked around. "Where am I?"

"_You'll know...soon."_

"Do I want to know?"

Dib stood in the middle of a field of grey with a cloudy sky and some odd shapes sticking out of the ground. "Wait...am I in a Pi Caso painting?"

Suddenly he vanished in a pillar of fire.

Xxx

He reappeared in the middle of the group. "Ah!"

"Dib, where'd you go?" A concerned Sophie asked.

"I went to that place Skoodge mentioned." Dib shook his head. "Man...that was weird."

"Dib-Human just get rd of the annoying fruit cake." Tak said. "If you keep this up you'll eat it and you'll most likely die."

"Listen to what she says Dib, I don't want to go through six months of dad yelling 'It's Alive! It's alive!'" Gaz said as she rejoined the group.

"I'm not gonna die, it's a fruit cake, and even then it only sent me to some weird looking place." Dib said.

"According to the voice of evil it's a universe of skinless, blood soaked evil covered in leeches and with maggots for blood...ooh, and where sandwiches are always too dry." Carlos said. "Damn those amateur sandwich makers, such a waste of good bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes...now I'm hungry."

"It's a fruit cake! A pile of sweets with icing on top!" Db said.

"Ok, seriously, this food chat s making me hungry," Carlos said as his stomach grumbled.

"All I mean is that I don't need this fruit cake...I can survive with a lick...and I would love to lick that fruit cake again because it is so good- GIVE ME THAT!" He snatched t back from Carlos and took a bite, vanishing agan.

Xxx

Dib looked around as a grey blob with two thin legs, one arm and a single eye walked over. "Who are you? Are you the voice that told me that I'd know where this place is? Because I'll tell you where I want you to be: on this camera for a picture." He pulled out a camera...rght before the blob pulled ut an axe that was bigger than Dib's head.

Dib blinked as it twirled the axe once, accidently cutting off one leg. "Uh...that's a nice trick...I'm just gonna go- OH MY GOD!" He vanished in a pillar of fire right before the blob swung the axe.

"Aw hell," The blob sighed.

Suddenly Carlos' dad appeared behind it. "Yo, Chaos ,have you seen Carlos anywhere?"

"I think he was here a second ago, but then some boy with an extremely big head showed up." Chaos shrugged.

Xxx

Dib reappeared n mid step. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Dib, are you alright?" Sophie gripped his shoulders.

"Yeah...I'm good...let's just go." Dib said.

"_I told you, you'd know." _The voice chuckled.

"...yeah, I agree with comrade Big Head, let's get out of here." Carlos handed the cake to GIR. "Here, you can have the rest of this cake."

"YAY!" Gir ate the cake and vanished.

"You just killed Zim's robot!" Tak shouted.

"Dad!" Zim shouted, staring at the circle of ashes.

"Dad?" The entire group echoed the word before Gir reappeared.

"Gir ,you survived!" Carlos said. "What happened in there?"

"I met this guy, I call him Bob." Gir giggled. "He's very nice."

"Bull! I know for a fact that guy was probably all over you with his axe!" Dib said.

"Well, we'll never know until Christmas...when my mom makes another cake." Carlos said dramatically.

Xxx

"Hey Travis, you went into that dimension, right? Was that guy called Bob?" Sally asked.

"Uh...don't know, I never asked." Travis asked.

"Was he nice?"

"Hell no! That maniac had an axe!"

"TRAVIS! What have I told you about swearing in the house?" A shout came from upstairs.

"Uh...sorry mom."

Xxx

THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!

"Tell me where they went," Hellion shook the shorter Irken by hs neck.

"Gurk-...can't...breathe..." The Irken wheezed.

Nearby, Roberto was talking to Grim...who was interrogating another prisoner the group had taken.

"And so I said to her that I ain't going to shave my beautiful fur off!" Roberto said. "Honestly, if she weren't so hot I'd have bitten her head off!"

"The furless look works for you Roberto, you look less hideous." Grim commented as he filled a syringe.

"Dude, the whole point of being a were wolf is the fur. If you look nice you don't scare people, hideous, ugly, or at least intimidating makes them scream. Do I look like Taylor Lautner?" Roberto asked.

"Uh...I don't know who that is but no."

"Well the idea of a nice were wolf was a whole bunch of bull that someone thought of that somebody else put into a story and soon turned into a bunch of love sick, over grown teenagers fighting a bunch of sparkly bastards. That was a whole bunch of bull (Beep)." Roberto looked around as a loud beeping noise cut off his last word. "Uh...anyways, who the hell enjoys sparkly humans with fangs? Hell, don't think they even had fangs! How the hell did Twilight have anything about vampires in it if they don't have fangs and sparkle in the sun!"

"Uh...Roberto-Human?"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize that I have no idea what you are talking about and don't care, right?"

"Yeah, but you're a better person at conversations than that guy, all he talks about is killing, drinking blood-and honestly he's more of a vampire than those bastards from Twilight, and boinking his own sister." Roberto glanced at Hellion, who was gutting his victim. "And that's your sister also, how can you abide by that?"

"Well seeing as he'll never catch her long enough to screw her, I didn't bother," Grim shrugged before he injected his prisoner with the contents of the syringe.

"Dude, seriously, I still say its sick." Roberto shuddered.

"Whatever, now go talk to somebody else, I'm busy." Grim faced his prisoner. "Now, what are the codes?"

The Irken Elite Guard gasped. "Four...nine...three...four...eight...six...two...two...eight..."

"Perfect," Grim looked to the captured Irken ship.

The Tallest had deployed their Elite guard to eliminate Zim and his companions, but luckily Grim, Hellion, Roberto, Dest, Sizz-Lor, Sergeant Hobo 678, and Lorak had been awaiting the arrival of one such ship.

"Gentlemen, we have a new mode of transportation now," Grim stood up. "Tied them up and leave them here, if they resist, kill them-"

DOWDOWDOW!

Grim spun around, with one energy scythe in hand, and looked upon Dest standing over the corpses of three of the eight surviving guardsmen.

Dest twirled his blaster in his grip several times and holstered it. "Their pulses had elevated, adrenaline was building up, they were preparing to ether run or attack. I was not about to risk it."

"Dude, that is really messed up," Roberto shook his head.

"...Hey wait, Roberto has Meekroobian enhancements, right?" Sizz-Lor asked. "So why the hell aren't you flying? You know, scouting ahead?"

"Uh...do not question me! I have magc powers!" Roberto swung one arm and the earth split open. "Hah! See?"...and poured out candy.

Up in the Massive, Purple clapped his hands. "Ooh! Sweets!"

"...nobody say a word." Roberto sighed. "Let's just go."

"...I didn't know Meekroobian enhancements allowed you to defy physics to that extent." Grim stared at the large pile of candy...and noticed a Klondike bar. Looking around to make sure nobody was looking; he snatched it and ate it up. "Ah..." He shuddered as the taste washed over his taste buds. Savouring the taste, he straightened up, clearing his throat.

He walked off as the rest of the group-the Irkens carrying as much candy as possible entered the ship with their spoils of uh...what could be called war.

Xxx

"Hellion got so mad when he found out, it took the doctors a few tries to sew their legs on, and once they did it backwards." Skullene explained.

Carlos laughed. "Man, your brother's a sicko, but he's a brotherly one, man Red had that coming, peeking on a lady, honestly!"

The group shared a few laughs with different stories they shared.

After another story about Hellion, Carlos was doubled over. "Man, that almost made me forget my promise to kill Kurt!"

Kurt made hand signs. 'Then sit back and listen to this story,'

After he was done, the entire group was rolling around, laughing.

"Oh my god I can't believe dad did that!" Carlos was close to suffocating now. "I..I..I gotta... I gotta stop...can't stop..." He paused. "Suddenly, something makes a whole lot of sense to me...the whole 'madness/insanity' thing...which is funny since Insanity is not supposed to make sense, it's like a whole new world's been opened up to me?"

"Carlos-Maniac, what was your dad thinking when he did that?" Skullene asked, wiping away a stray tear as she got to her feet.

"I don't know, hard to believe he tried to kill Kurt, except his failures are more hilarious than mine!" Carlos said.

"This coming from the guy who dressed up as the guy with the black hat and cape and that spanish accent and got his head slammed into a wall for his troubles." Sophie chuckled.

"El Carlos shall rise again!" Carlos vowed dramatically, even pulling out a sword and aiming it at the sky.

"I thought it was 'The Carlos'." Skoodge said, not having watched The Zoro.

"Are you questioning the Carlos?" Carlos asked darkly ,aiming the sword at Skoodge, who shook his head frantically.

"No! No! Of course not!"

"Good," Carlos sheathed the sword.

Credaran, who was on his feet stopped laughing immediately.

Dib noticed the odd look on the alien's face. "Yo Cred, what's wrong?"

"Something is coming." Credaran said before the group got into a circle, weapons aimed outwards.

"Which direction?" Skullene asked.

"Not from the side...UP!" Credaran looked up, his highly sensitive ears twitching as something shot down through the sky towards them.

"SCATTER!" Zim roared, grabbing Gaz and Tak-with Gir and Minimoose following him and leaped to cover. Credaran grabbed Sophie and Dib, Shen grabbed Melissa and Skullene, and they all joined Zim while the rest of the group members managed to jump out of the way just in time before the object hit the ground where they had regrouped.

Dust shot into the air and blinded them for nearly a minute. When it cleared, Skullene peeked over the rock she and Shen were crouched behind. She drew her blaster rifle. "What was that?"

"Looked like a supply pod," Skoodge whispered, barely managing to grip his own blaster.

"I'll check it out, cover me." Zim climbed out from cover and approached the crater.

"With what?" Carlos whispered.

"...Just cover me." Zim shook his head and reached the edge of the crater.

It was indeed a supply pod. Zim waited several moments for its automated computer to cool the pod and surrounding area by releasing a material used by Irkens to absorb large amounts of heat from surfaces. A white, foam like substance covered the crater floor and the pod before hardening. Zim tested it, and found it was so brittle that he could tear away an entire chunk with his bare hands.

"Help me clear this away!" Zim shouted.

The entire group began to dig away at the hardened layer of foam until it was all cleared away.

"Alright, let's see what highly advanced dooms day weapons the Tallest have left us." Zim said.

"Is it my rifle?" Shen asked, eyes wide.

Zim stared at him. "...what?"

"Uh...never mind, just open it." Shen sighed, and whispered. "I want my giant rifle."

Zim hit the command controls, and the hatch slowly hissed open, revealing a petite, red eyed, female Irken. She was bruised, one eye was swollen shut, and her antennae were bent out of shape. She groaned a bit.

"Almighty Tallest...that's Invader Tenn!" Skoodge said.

"Who?" Carlos asked.

"An Invader assigned to conquer the Meekroobians, but she messed up when the Tallest accidently sent her an army of malfunctioning SIRs instead of a Mega Doomer...speaking of, what happened to that?" Skoodge wondered.

Zim and Dib looked at one another, eyes wide with realization. They stepped aside.

"Tenn might be wounded, but she is scary when mad, if she finds out I blew up the Mega Doomer she'll do all she can to slaughter us." Zim whispered.

"What do we do?" Dib asked.

"Pretend we don't know. The Mega Doomer never arrived at Earth, I never used it, you never saw it, I never blew it up, nobody knows." Zim whispered. "Got it?"

"Got it." Dib nodded.

"Let's get her out of there!" Zim spoke up, and climbed down into the pod, picking up the smaller Irken and handing her up to Skullene and Tak.

"Long time no see Tenn," Skullene smiled a bit. She and Tenn had been class mates back in the academy, and had gotten along fairly well.

"Skuh...skullene? What the..." Tenn opened her good eye and looked around ,seeng the collection of aliens around her. "Skoodge?...Tak?...ZIM?" She gasped. "So tall...Almighty Tallest Splorchamheimer we're doomed!"

Zim sighed. "Apparently she never got the memo that I'm no longer an idiot."

Tak put a hand on Tenn's shoulders as she and Skullene set her against a rock. "Tenn relax, Zim's PAK was damaged when he did all of that stuff, it's fixed now!"

"But in the mean time, what the florp happened to you?" Skoodge asked.

"Escaped Massive," Tenn coughed. "Hid on supply pod, disarmed the bomb in it...meant to land near the Dome."

"Why did you leave the Massive?" Zim asked.

"After I escaped Meekrob, the Tallest only let me do that announcing job, and they even chained me up to do it." She gestured to a shackle on her left ankle with what was left of a chain. "IT took me seven whole days to chew through that." Her voice cracked.

"Why did they chain you up at all? It's not your fault you failed that mission, they sent you the wrong package!" Zim said.

"They didn't care ,they said I should have still succeeded." Tenn shook her head.

"This is disgusting, Red and Purple screw up on sending proper armaments to their own Invaders and don't take responsibility." Shen growled.

Zim felt a wave of guilt. 'Ok...maybe I can tell her AFTER we're off this planet...and have a few level headed people between the two of us.'

"Actually, it was just Red who decided to stick me with the job, Purple wanted to send me back again...they decided with Rock, Paper, Scissors." Tenn sighed.

"The one reason I like Purple slightly more than Red is because he has that moment of making the smart ideas." Skullene said.

"And now I'm stuck here," Tenn said, sounding devastated.

"Invader Tenn," Credaran knelt in front of her. "We're getting off of this planet alive, all of us, even you now."

"You-you'd all help me? Even after all that I tried to do?" Tenn asked.

"What kind of Veniran am I if I allow a comrade to die?" Credaran pulled out a medical kit. "Now hold still."

"We don't have time for this! Don't you even know what the Tallest are doing, or what Hellion and Grim are up to?" Tenn tried to shout.

"We can handle those Jokers ,the Tallest won't be able to do anything once I get my hands on them." Zim said.

"And we beat Grim and Hellion down twice, along with their ugly walking dog!" Melissa added.

"Actually their dog isn't so ugly anymore, Carlos burned most of his fur off-that isn't the point!" Tenn shook her head. "They've joined up with Sizz-Lor, Lorak, Hobo 678, and some Irken named Dest. He was called in by the Tallest!"

"Dest? As in great tactician Dest? Dest the greatest Bounty Hunter in the galaxy?" Shen asked.

"Who's this guy, Shen?" Skoodge asked.

"I'm not surprised you'd ask Skoodge ,you're too young to be familiar with his exploits. He's an Irken, but unlike all other Irkens he is not a drone of any kind, he is a free bounty hunter. He did something so great that the Tallest themselves awarded him with the gift of being free of the Control Brains without being labelled a defective, the power to go where he wished and do what he wished." Shen explained. "But they only hire him for missions of conquering enemies that not even their Elite Invaders could defeat." He looked at Zim. "Zim, I don't suppose you or any other Irken here is familiar with what happened on the planet Andremia, right?"

"I've heard rumours of it. Rumours that say that the entire planet was being retaken by a rebellion, but then in a battle that lasted three straight days, he eliminated their leaders, their artillery, their capital ships, and even destroyed entire cities until the planet was under Irken control again." Zim said.

"And guess what, he did it all by himself. He targeted key areas that would have set off huge explosions, taking out the majority of the enemy armies and strike fear into survivors. He would hijack ships and set them on auto pilot to crash into one ship while he ejected and landed on a third ship to destroy it from within. He would bring down entire ships to crush enemy armies, or even spend hours setting up miles of explosives to entrap an enemy regiment." Shen said. "He is as legendary as Apocalyptic, Skullene, and Splorchamheimer put together."

"And that's not all, that were wolf has Meekroobian enhancements!" Tenn spoke up. "They came to him as a pair of shoes...and for some reason turned into a moose-"

"Please don't say that word." Carlos said quickly.

"Uh...right, the uh...room thing. Anyways...they enhanced him so he could kill Carlos and the Tallest!" Tenn said.

"It figures the Meekroobians would try to get in on this. Find somebody strong enough to take out the Tallest and they can win the war by playing the Tallests' own game." Tak said.

"Wait, are those the aliens that I thought had visited me but turned out to only be part of a simulation Zim did of my life?...by the way that was still a very cruel and unusual thing to do to find out if I threw a muffin at you Zim." Dib said.

"You threw a muffin at him? Dude ,that's harsh!" Carlos said.

"It's a muffin!" Dib said. "At least it didn't send him to be chopped to pieces like your mom's fruit cake!"

"Hey! Watch the fruit cake you fruit cake." Carlos cautioned Dib.

"Anyways...you guys need to run, fast." Tenn said. "Dev and any other punks you have faced are nowhere near as dangerous as Dest!"

"We can't turn back Tenn, the only way we can get off this planet s to follow our plan." Zim said.

"And Dest knows that! He and everybody on this planet who can get there will be waiting for you at the Dome!" Tess said.

"...In that case, we need a plan to get that Delta Pod." Zim said.

"To be honest, I think the only one who can stand a chance against Dest is Skullene." Tenn sighed.

"Alright then, so how about I take a few of you with me and take on Dest and his cronies?" Skullene stood up.

"Somebody will need to cover your back if Hellion is with them...I volunteer." Shen stood up.

"Staking your claim, eh?" Carlos jabbed him in the ribs playfully.

"You do the same for your girls." She npointed out.

"Ah, touché." Carlos nodded. "This Dest sounds like a pyromaniac of my calibre, and if Sizz-Lor is with them...I'm in."

"I shall go too, if the Planet Jacker Lorak is with them then he and I shall finish our fight." Credaran stood.

"You will have to inspire the Venirans in the dome to fight," Zim ponted out.

"And I shall, after I defeat the Parasite who devours entire worlds," Credaran unsheathed one knife.

"Good...Dib-Comrade, you are an expert at Alien Technology, you have a large amount of Xeno-Research on your belt, so can you figure out how to operate the controls to the Massive's guns?" Zim looked at Dib, who blinked in surprise at being called 'comrade' by Zim.

"Uh...if I can get to that Delta Pod, I can try to figure out the controls." Dib said.

"Don't give me 'try'. It is do or do not, we act now Dib! Don't you want to be a hero?"

Dib nodded. "Yes! Yes! I shall be a hero, I will wipe out the Irken Empire with their own oversized guns!"

"Amen to that!" Carlos said.

Kurt suddenly stood up and made hand signs.

"Ooh, Kurt says he'll fight Grim." Carlos said.

Kurt nodded and cracked his knuckles.

Gaz set her Game Slave down. "IS that Hobo guy with them?"

"Yes." Tenn nodded.

"His ass is mine." Gaz pocketed her Game Slave.

"What did he do to you?" Tak asked.

"...He pissed me off." Gaz said. "Remember the beach fight? Don't like bruises, they make it hard to play my game and draw little piggies...so now I shall doom him." As she spoke, tentacles of terror came out of the ground around her as her eyes glowed bright red.

"Wow...dooming looks fun when it isn't my butt on the line." Dib chuckled.

"I'll handle Roberto, it's about time I put my foot down." Melissa sighed.

"Wait, Melissa, if Zim's simulation about the Meekroobians are true, it will be impossible to beat him! I ripped apart the Irken Armada with my fake gift!" Dib said.

"That simulation sounds like a happy one." Shen commented.

"It was until my interviewer grew Zim's head in his place and I went from being a seventy year old celebrity known through the universe as the saviour of all existence to a twelve year old who's just called the big headed maniac." Dib frowned.

Carlos laughed. "Ouch, that's pretty lame man!"

"I'll go with Dib to the pod." Sophie said.

"Me too," Skoodge said.

"Good," Zim said. "In the mean time ,we continue with our infiltration plan. There's a long overdue appointment with the control brains regarding how they usurped my rule," He held Gir up in his arms. "Murdered my father, and sent my own brother to kill me. It's time I do what I should have done millennium ago, and pull the plug."

"I'll go with you," Tak said.

"If I can walk by the time we're there, I'll help," Tenn said.

"Squeak!" Minimoose floated down.

"Minimoose, you will clear us a way into the dome and then take out the generators. No doubt there will be plenty of Copy soldiers and Elite Guards waiting for us, but if we take out the generators we can leave them scattered, confused, and the Copy soldiers still in storage will lose life support." Zim said. "And that recorder I added to you is working, right?"

"Squeak!"

"Credaran, time to make a statement for your people." Zim looked at the Veniran. "If you can't talk to the min person, leave them some inspiration."

Credaran smiled. "Credaran, the saviour of the Venirans, declaring war on the Tallest on one of their most valued planets with an army of slaves...I like it."

"Then start looking pretty, the Dome is a few miles away and we won't stop after this." Zim nodded. "Get Tenn on her feet and keep her on her feet. Do you have a weapon, Tenn?"

Tenn reached into her belt, but found an empty holster. "I think I lost my gun."

"Here," Skullene gave her blaster to the smaller, red eyed Irken. "If you need anything else we can collect it off of some of the other contestants who will show up."

Tenn nodded. "Thanks, you're a life saver."

Xxx

"Oh man, Zim's actually thinking, he's gonna kill us, we're gonna die, it's gonna hurt DON'TWANNADIE-" Red ht Purple on the side of the head.

"Calm down Pur, as soon as Dest gets his hands on Zim, he'll be out of our antennae for the rest of our lives." Red said. "Now get Dest on the line!"

"Connection established." A drone said.

Dest appeared on the main screen. "You rang, my Tallest?"

"Zim and his band shall be at the dome." Red said.

"I know, I have predicted that and prepared for it." Dest replied.

"You must make sure Zim does not get off planet, and that none of his crew get near the generators or the controls." Red added.

"Of course, after all I did ask for a considerable fee for all of this, it would do not good for me to fail and not get paid." Dest nodded. "I shall see to it that Zim-or was it Splorchamheimer never gets off of this planet alive."

"And make sure you destroy his PAK," Red said. "I want every inch of it destroyed and his genetic structure erased from the universe."

"Count on it."

"And afterwards, we have another mission for you to complete. A new assignment that shall pay well, it will be twice as much as what you get for this."

"I look forward to it."

"You are to hunt down the traitor who has paraded around as the hero of this empire, praised for eliminating Splorchamheimer, but in reality had set about to bring him right back here so he could ruin things for me." Red growled. "Kill. Invader. Apocalyptic."

Dest waited several moments before he nodded. "A worthy foe, he shall die after Splorchamheimer does."

"Good, now get the job done Dest, you'll have your money when I see Zim's head on my desk." Red said.

"I shall not fail, Hunter Dest, out." Dest cut the link.

"Uh..." Purple looked at Red. "Hey, I just realized...what will happen if Skullene gets in here? You know what she said she'd do to you if she got her hands on you."

"Don't remind me," Red shuddered.

Xxx

Dest looked down at the bridge of the small courier ship. "Distance to the Dome?"

"Just a few minutes, man this thing is fast." Sergeant Hobo 678 chuckled. "Irken Elite forces equipment never breaks down."

"As soon as we land, we form up with the Copy Troops. They have been reprogrammed to avoid attacking us." Dest drawled. "The guards will transfer control of the Copy Units and the defence system of the dome to my PAK."

"So what will we be doing?" Sizz-Lor asked.

"Picking up remains...but just in case I have an alternate battle plan set out. They will have two objectives if they wish to attack this dome head on." Dest said. "The Dome itself has a beacon in it that prevents the Massive from getting a confirmed lock on it, the same with any other Armada ship. It can only be deactivated by the Tallest, but if they hit the generators, they can deactivate it for several minutes before the backup power kicks in. They will go for these and the Delta Pod, possibly using the contents of the pod to destroy the armies around the dome, or maybe the dome after the generators are disabled."

"We'll have foes on most sides, there are already tens of thousands of competitors there waiting for Zim." Grim said.

"And we'll be the only ones who get to kill him." Dest said darkly.

"You want to wipe out the rest of the competitors?" Hellion asked, shocked...and then cackled maniacally. "I LOVE it!"

"Barely ten percent of all competitors are there, I only intend to kill the ones present...before or after Zim dies." Dest shrugged. "Afterwards, all seven of us get off of the planet with our rewards. I get paid, Hellion gets...whatever he was promised-"

"He was promised Skullene." Grim coughed awkwardly.

"Oh whatever," Dest said, disgusted. "You can get uh..."

"The same thing you got," Grim said. "Separation from the system without being deemed defective."

"Ah, a valuable prize indeed." Dest nodded.

"Heh, just want money so I can expand." Szz-Lor shrugged. "That and I can finally be rid of Zim."

"I want a promotion to General and command of an entire planet." Hobo 678 added.

"Access to non-essential Irken planets and captured planets." Lorak grumbled.

"And I get a fully functional space ship!" Roberto chuckled evilly. "I will spread my kind to all corners of this galaxy...if aliens can be turned into were wolves that is, I never tried biting anybody ever since I got here."

"Whatever," Dest turned to face the front screen. "We all get our award and lives, and we're rid of Splorcham- I mean Zim." Dest shook his head. "Yes...after so long..."

"I know, that guy is so annoying!" Sizz-Lor growled. "I just want to rip his head off!"

Xxx

Tenn ended up having to ride on Credaran's shoulders for the first few miles until her natural regeneration and the medical care given to her managed to heal her enough for her to walk. She managed to climb up onto the last ridge and sat down, gasping for breath. "Now I know why I chose Meekrob as my target, that place only had a few cities that I could just fly to!"

"Well don't worry ,we've arrived..." Zim's eyes narrowed as he and his gathered team looked out over the planes around the Dome of Conquest. "And so has everybody else."

The fields of rock and sand below were crammed full of competitors of varying races and Copy Soldiers who were fighting one another.

Carlos chuckled sheepishly. "Uh...wow, I'll need a lot more gun power than I already have." He somehow pulled a long shotgun out of his Magic Pants and cocked it. "Just asking...but just how many people in this galaxy have you ticked off?"

"The populations of Irk, Devastis, Foodcourtia, Sleevoon, The Planet Jackers, Hobo 13, the Tallest, that station where I accidently created a black hole aren't too happy with me either." Zim said. "When I planted some explosives I accidently ended up taking out a whole planet, it turned out I had set them near an infinite energy generator...made by that moron who made my blob eat Miyuki!" He paused. "Oh, and that one time I visited the planet Lirinian, and uh...well I had a better disguise than the one I used as a human and uh...the princess took a fancy to me...needless to say her father and I did not like this, but after she found out what I was she put a bounty on me...and her people are extremely loyal to her." He shuddered. "I'm just happy Irkens are sterile and are not compatible with Lirinians."

Carlos whistled. "Wow, you ticked off nearly everybody in the galaxy just like I've ticked off nearly everybody back on Earth, including my own pa."

"Hm...I'd say there's...four or five regiments of Copy solders...and I lost count after fifteen thousand but I'd say there's...a lot off competitors down there." Skullene said as her optics scanned the crowd...before a light shot down from the sky. "What the..."

The light impacted the ground right in the center of the army of competitors...and incinerated anything it touched.

The entire group screamed-minus Kurt and Gaz as a storm of dust shot over them, followed by a wave of heat.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Dib shouted.

"IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY SET OFF THE DEFENCE SYSTEM! THAT WAS AN ORBITAL SATELLITE HIT!" Skullene shouted.

"NO! THAT WAS TOO BIG!" Zim shouted.

"THAT WAS THE CLEANSNG CANNON! THEY USED THE CLEANSING CANNON ON THE MASSIVE!" Tak screeched before the view began to clear.

"Holy..." Melissa gasped. "they killed off nearly all of the competitors!"

The army of competitors had taken it right into their center, and now there were just stray flashes of leasers or explosions spread across several miles of scorched earth that were left of them. The Copy Army, relatively unharmed began to move in and clean out survivors one by one.

"Why would the Tallest do that? They bet on everybody here dying." Shen said.

"That wasn't them. It was Dest!" Tenn said. "Before I escaped, I saw him and the Tallest talking from a vent. They mentioned the Main guns a few times, I thought they were talking about the Delta Pod...but it's right under where the cannon just hit."

"So Dest wants us for himself." Zim growled.

"and he's got that big honking gun aimed right down on us. Even if we make a run for it he could kill us just like that." Carlos snapped one finger.

"Unless we get that Delta Pod and take the guns for ourselves." Tak said.

"Well everybody, if anyone has any doubts before, I think Dest just got rid of them. We either go in, fight ,and possibly die, or we run and die anyways." Zim said.

Carlos shrugged. "Eh, I say we go for it. And we'd better hurry, I know for a fact that was just one small part of the total amount of competitors. There might be more coming along at any second."

"And you're right." The group spun and came face to face with eight Resisty solders led by Lard-Nar.

For several moments they trained their guns on one another.

"Which one of you is Invader Zim?" Lard-Nar demanded.

Zim sneered. "Right here little man!"

Lard-Nar glared at him, but then relaxed and sighed. "We need your help."

"You tried to hand me over to Hellion!" Skullene growled.

"Yeah, and your father lost us our capital ship when he took control and nearly made it crash into a planet!" Lard-Nar said. "I think we can consider us even! Plus the Tallest want us dead too, and there is no way we can get off this planet by taking Dest on by ourselves."

"Stand down, I'll handle this." Zim gestured for the group to lower their guns and slowly stepped forward. "I'm listening Captain."

"You have a plan, right?" Lard-Nar asked.

"Indeed."

"And an army of Irken copy troops between you and that plan, right?"

"Correct."

Lard-Nar nodded. "I managed to get my ship to drop down several companies of soldiers before it was shot at and forced to flee. I have artillery, gun ships, and weapons."

"Are you proposing something?"

"Those copy troops are nothing compared to a trained Vortian Commando, and every one of my troops happen to be one. We can lead a distraction while a platoon of my troops help you to get into that Dome." Lard-Nar said. "We can take down the Tallest or use them as a bargaining chip to get off world. We all leave, assuming we survive. We won't kill you, you don't kill us, we all get to leave, and even end this whole war!"

Zim considered this. "Precisely how many soldiers do you have?"

"Seven hundred and change." Lard-Nar replied.

"...this might just work." Zim held out a hand.

Lard-Nar took it ,but then Zim tugged him closer and hissed into his ear. "But if you betray me in any way, shape, or form, then I will make my son Hellion look like a tamed Smeet compared to what I will do to you."

"Acknowledged," Lard-Nar replied, his eyes narrowing. "Just keep your end of the bargain."

"I used to have a saying as Splorchamheimer. Never do anything without a reason." Zim said. "But I also had another...when you're provoked enough, you don't need a reason to do something extreme."

Zim faced his group. "Skullene, you have experience with command, you can lead some of Lard-Nar's troops."

"I'll be busy fighting ,but I can try." Skullene said.

"Cred, how good are you at command?"

"I was a leader of a unit of Guerilla fighters after escaping slavery and before my exile to this rock." Credaran replied.

"Good! We'll have to split that army up. Nobody goes in alone," Zim said. "So make sure that every soldier under your command is ready for this."

"They're veterans, they're ready." Lard-Nar said. "My Lieutenant, Ixane will be on stand by to evacuate us after we take control of the Dome. With the Tallest and control of the Massive's main cannons, the armada will be able to do nothing to stop us."

"Then we are all set," Zim said. "We step forward, no one steps back."

"Woo hoo!" Carlos lifted his shotgun into the air and started running down the slope. "There's an ugly were wolf to kill in them there hills!"

"...where s he going?" Dib asked.

"Melissa-Human, I suggest you follow him and make sure he stay's a-" Zim paused as a small mushroom cloud rose into the air.

"WOO!" Carlos shouted as he blew up multiple Copy soldiers.

"...Right, just go cover him." Zim said. "Lard-Nar!"

"All units deploy! The attack begins NOW! Go! Go! Go! Company A, form up on Irken Skullene! Company B, form up on Veniran Credaran!" Lard-Nar barked into his radio. "Suppress copy Unit movements and carve a path to that Dome!"

Suddenly a dozen air craft flew over head, manned by Resisty pilots while nearby artillery guns began to rain down energy shots on the Copy Army. Companies of Vortian Commandoes took up positions in the carved up and burnt earth, using it as cover and to confuse copy units by outmanoeuvring them.

"The rise of the vortian people begins NOW!" Lard-Nar roared as he, his soldiers, and Zim's team rushed down to join Carlos, just as he blew up a Mega doomer.

"I GOT A HEAD START!" Carlos cheered as he leaped off of the collapsed Mega Doomer.

Suddenly an even bigger Mech began to advance on him...only for Kurt to leap up and land on it, open a hathc, climb in...and ten seconds later it began to stumble about. Kurt leaped out, and it exploded as he landed next to Carlos.

"How many people were in that?" Kurt made signs as reply. "Thirty? CRAP, I ONLY HAVE TWNETY FIVE! CURSE YOU KURT!" Carlos pulled his shotgun. "I WON'T BE OUTDONE BY SOME SMART ALEC SNAKE EYES RIP OFF!" He then slammed a Copy Soldier n the face so hard it was sent flying heads over heels and hit several of its companions, bowling them over. "STRIKE!" He began to fire his shotgun. "I!" BLAM! "AM!" BLAM! "THE!" BLAM! "CARLOS!" BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!

Xxx

End of chapter


	17. Chapter 17

Kill Zim

Xxx

Inside the Dome of Conquest, the Tallest stared in shock as the Resisty Army began to attack the much larger Irken Copy Army.

"Ah! IT'S ZIM AND HIS FREAKS!" Red pointed at the screen.

"Yeah, and the crazy lady you always peeked on in the academy!" Purple added.

Ignoring his partner, Red yelled. "LOCK DOWN THE DOME! LOCK IT DOWN!"

"Lock down commencing." A control brain, the one in charge of Venira said.

The outer doors began to shut.

Xxx

Outside, the resist fighters managed to get close to the dome with minimal casualties. The Vortian Commandoes were easily superior to the expendable Copy Troops.

The commandoes used Vortian rifles made by rescued scientists. They did not have the accuracy of an Irken rifle, but greater stopping power and capacity, making them good for the close to medium range combat that went on in the maze of trenches, holes, and cliffs that had been formed by the cleansing Cannons of the Irken Capital Ship. They wore thin, light armour that did not weight them down yet could stand several direct hits before collapsing. They had visors covering their eyes that were equipped with HUDs that improved their combat performance.

Each team of Vortians worked as one. One or two would draw out Copy soldiers, which would follow basic programming and pursue to destroy, while two or more Vortians would attack from behind, and then other Vortians would make sure other Copy Units stayed away from the ambush. Others would group together at high points and fire on Copy Soldiers using more accurate carbines to draw them closer to where commandos on the ground-consisting of five or six would attack from the sides.

The Irken Armies mostly consisted of swarming enemies in the case of the basic Army, or rendering their defences useless against the Army in case of the Invaders. The elite Infantry could go against the commandoes, but they were all currently inside the Dome ,watching with growing fear and anticipation as the Vortian army got closer and closer, taking ground inch by inch.

It did not help that Zim and his team were tipping the battle in the favour of the Resisty. Zim used his upgrades to cut down multiple enemies, cutting them to pieces or luring them into traps. The other Invaders in the group helped Vortians to take down their targeted enemies or individually pick off lone enemies, building up more and more casualties over several minutes.

Dib, untrained in his powers, managed to create a blast or two that could eliminate three or four Copy Solders, or create a barrier that could protect him from several laser shots. It seemed that now with his power unlocked, he could make basic commands to affect reality like Carlos did with his power of Insanity.

Gaz merely walked along casually, having her tentacles swallow up copy soldiers as they got near her. She paused and tapped her foot impatiently before she noticed one Copy soldier lining up a shot on her. Getting serious and deciding to wait for the others to catch up, she shot a pair of tentacles out of her hands that wrapped around the soldier, consuming him and leaving no trace of him in existence. Satisfied, she prepared for the next fighter.

Carlos merely burned, shot, or clobbered his opponents, fighting alongside Kurt, who used his fists to such an effect that nobody had thought possible. He could dispatch a Copy soldier with one or two hits, and usually sent them flying. Slamming a heel kick into one, he sent it flying through a group of other copy soldiers and then into a cliff face. He then grabbed the wrist of another copy that tried to cut his throat. Breaking its wrist, he tore the knife from its grip and slammed one foot into the side of its head, sending it sliding across the field until it slammed into two more copy soldiers who had been trying to fend off a trio of vortians.

Lard-Nar was with Credaran and Shen, distracting part of the Copy Army further from the Dome than Skullene's section. The vortian was fuelled by rage and loyalty to his people, mowing down multiple copy soldiers as several soldiers fell around him.

Shen looked around, sliding a fresh cell into his rifle. "Come on now Dest, you see us, come and get us!" He continued to pick off Copy soldiers from a distance, supported by three other commandoes.

"YEAH! WOO HOO! BURN BABY!" Carlos said before a wave of electricity flew through the copy soldiers around him, and burnt them to crisps.

Melissa kissed him as she passed by. "Try to keep up sweetie."

"Oh baby," Carlos said, anticipating what would happen after they won before he ran after her.

"Zim! The doors are closing; we're too far away to get in!" Tak shouted as she picked off several soldiers from afar using her rifle.

Kurt looked up from where he was trying to stop a Mega Doomer from crushing him by bracing his hands against its foot and somehow holding it up. He forced the Mech off balance with an impossible display of strength and grabbed a copy Soldier that had its Spider Legs out. Grabbing two, he ripped them out and flung them through the air. They spun like throwing knives.

The area in front of the gate was filled with Elite guards who were flooding back into the dome.

One turned around as he got inside and saw the spider legs shooting towards him. He did the only thing he could think of: scream.

But just before they hit him...they were caught between the doors. The Irken stood there, wide eyed and shaking. "The cold unfeeling robot arm was right, I should have been a food drone!"

"Excellent!" Zim shouted from where he was crouched in a ditch.

"You used the old metallic spider leg in the door trick, nice!" Carlos yelled from where he was tossing his shotgun aside. "Wait, didn't you use that in Grade One?"

Kurt nodded.

"Ah, right, I couldn't feel my left leg for a month after that." Carlos grinned. "Good times!" suddenly a missile hit him. He cackled as he came out of the fire, burned but unharmed, his clothes had more damage than his flesh. "Fools! I AM THE CARLOS!" His bat wings came out.

"Minimoose! Unleash your hidden weapons and keep them from shutting us out!" Zim pointed across a half mile distance towards the gates where several Irkens were trying to unjar the Spider Legs.

"Squeak?" Minimoose floated next to Zim, who was trying to fend off a wave of copy Units.

"BIG GUNS! TAKE OUT THE ONES WHO HATES MOOSES!" Zim roared.

"SQUEAK!" Minimoose shot across the battle to the gates and floated in front of the confused Irkens, who had not succeeded in dislodging the legs.

"SQUEAK!" Suddenly a pair of lasers shot out of his eyes and incinerated two of them. The rest of the guards present opened fire on the moose.

"That was so cool," One at the back of the squadron whispered to his friend. "The lasers came out of its eyes!"

"I know!" His partner nodded.

"WOO HOO! I AM THE CARLOS!"

"WE KNOW!" Every single one of Carlos' companions shouted from where they were fighting Copy Soldiers.

Carlos grumbled. "Jeez, fine, don't need to get mean about it." He then crushed A copy Soldier's head in his hands. "...I'm hungry, I need some more of mom's special Fruit Cake."

Xxx

They came down fast and hard. The Elite guard ship made a kamikaze run from over the hills and ploughed through hundreds of soldiers, some from the Vortian Army but mostly Copy soldiers. When it came to a stop, a hatch popped open, and a red blur leaped out. A moment later two Copy soldiers were decapitated, and an unfortunate vortian was impaled on a set of claws. As he feebly clung to his life, his rifle was taken from him...by Hellion, who tossed him aside.

"Oh my angel!" He shouted, firing the rifle from one hand almost casually as he strolled, looking for Skullene. "MY ANGEL! Where are you my little angel of death?"

Skullene heard him. "Shen! They're here!"

Lard-Nar growled. "That maniac is back! I had hoped he would die."

"I'll handle him." Shen said over the radio. "The rest of his little Pack is coming now."

Roberto leaped out next in his were wolf form and howled. He picked up one Vortian and ripped him apart with his teeth. Splattering Vortian blood all over, he went for his next target ,only to be confronted by his ex, Melissa, who growled as electricity flowed from her.

"Ah, Melly-" Roberto was sent flying back by a blast of energy.

"Alright Roberto, time to end this!" She yelled. "You'll never go near Carlos after I'm done with you!"

As the Were Wolf and the Mutant began to fight, Hellion found the target of his rage: the Vortian, Shen Baron. "You!"

Shen stepped out of one of the many trenches as Vortians and copy soldiers exchanged laser fire. "Indeed."

"I saw the footage; you dare to touch my angel in such a way!" Hellion hissed. "I shall rip your heart out and make her watch as I eat it!"

"That will be the day you maniac, that will be the day." Shen leaped back to avoid being cut to pieces by one claw, but took a thin cut across his stomach. Activating his enhanced armour under his clothing, he began to exchange blows with the insane Irken. Crossing his arms into an X over his head, he blocked a blow that would have crushed his head. He slammed both fists into Hellion's gut, and leaped up, aiming to slam his right fist into Hellion's face and knock him off balance, but Hellion caught him by the neck in mid jump and slammed Shen into the floor.

Shen gasped, and brought his left foot up and placed it where Hellion's shoulder met his neck. He used his right foot by locking it behind Hellion's left knee. Tugging with all his might as Hellion reared one hand back to impale him on his claws, Shen flipped their positions and rolled off of Hellion entirely, carried by his momentum. Hellion snarled and faced Shen, who drew a knife and gestured for Hellion to make the first move.

Hellion let out a roar and leaped at Shen, slamming into him.

Xxx

Lorak tossed aside Copy Soldiers and Vortians alike as he searched for his target. "Irken not here..."

"Can you even form complete sentences?" Lorak turned as Credaran leaped off of a low cliff and slammed into the Planet Jacket with all of his weight. The massive alien was knocked off balance, and Credaran took this chance to go for his weapons. He got up and leaped onto the Planet Jacker's right arm, which held a large blaster pistol.

Lorak growled and tried to use his other arm to pull Credaran off, but the Veniran moved out of the way and kicked Lorak across the face before he took a combat staff he had taken from a fallen Vortian soldier. Rearing back, he slammed the tip of the staff into Lorak's fore arm, piercing his flesh and making the tip come out the other side. Lorak roared in pain, dropping his pistol.

Credaran held onto the staff for several moments, but Lorak managed to grab one of his feet and tossed him with all of his might into the ground. Dazed and bruised, Credaran looked up as Lorak pulled the staff out of his arm and snapped it into two pieces between two of his fingers.

"You die now, Little Hunter Man!" Lorak snarled, raising one foot, and bringing it down as Credaran reached for his knife.

Xxx

Zim, Tenn, and Tak reached the front doors as Minimoose kept the elite guards from shutting them. Several Resisty soldiers joined them, fending off copy soldiers trying to attack the Irkens from behind. Zim fired several shots from his pistol to force the guards back inside. "Good work Minimoose!"

"Squeak!" The moose began to fire on the copy soldiers.

"Inside, hurry!" Zim herded Tenn and Tak through first, followed by their eight Vortian escorts. He fired several shots to cover Minimoose as it floated backwards through the doors.

Stepping back, Zim unleashed one spider leg and used it to snap through the two spider legs Kurt used to jam the doors. His enhanced adamantium spider leg easily broke them like twigs, and he leaped back in time before they shut out the copy soldiers.

The Vortian commandoes were clearing away the Irken guards with a wave of suppression fire. Zim looked to Tak and Tenn. "We'll hit the generators first, and then we move on and get the Tallest. We'll take them alive for now!"

Tenn nodded. "I say we at least kill Red though, he's too impulsive, Purple is easier to intimidate!"

"We'll take them both, Tenn." Zim said. "Red will just be a martyr if we kill him."

Tenn sighed. "Fine, both alive...and reasonably unharmed."

"Agreed." Tak and Zim said.

"Sergeant, hold this position!" Zim shouted. "Once you have t secured, contact Lard-Nar and tell him to get more troops inside here!"

The Vortian commando nodded. "Form up and set up a barricade! Move it!"

The three Irkens rushed away from the squadron of Vortians.

Xxx

Dest looked at the closed doors, flanked by Sizz-Lor and Hobo 678. "Well, it looks like we'll need to wait a bit before we get to Zim."

Hobo 678 grumbled. "Damn it."

"Relax Sergeant, I contacted the control drones, they'll open the doors for us in several minutes." Dest said calmly. "All we need to do is wait."

"IT AINT THAT SIMPLE, PAL!" The three ducked under a jet of fire.

Carlos walked towards them, cracking his knuckles. "You! Fatso! You and me, let's finish what I started!"

Sizz-Lor hissed. "I've been waiting a long time for this."

Carlos paused in mid step. "Uh...the cave fight was only like four days ago."

"Oh..." Sizz-Lor said. "Well still, I'm ready this time!"

"Oh sure you are." Carlos rolled his eyes.

"You're asking for a beat down, smeet." Hobo 678 growled.

"How about you take me on, you over grown Marching Band Geek." Gaz said coldly as she strolled up next to Carlos, arms crossed.

"You! You're that scary girl!" Hobo 678's eyes narrowed and he pulled out a large rifle. "You're definitely mine, girlie."

Gaz cracked a smirk. "That's what they all say."

"Well gentlemen, t looks like you'll be occupied." Dest said. "I'll pursue Zim after the doors are-" He paused as a knife flew at hm. He tilted his head just enough so that t only left a scratch. He looked at where it was left on the ground after clanging off of the doors.

"Oh no you don't," Skullene said as she joined the two humans. "You aren't walking out so easily Dest."

"The legendary Skullene, I would usually say that I look forward to this," Dest said. "But I have more important business, and I have no wish to harm you. My business is with Zim."

"If you want to take my dad away from me again you'll have to kill me first." Skullene hissed ,slowly pulling out her sword.

Dest flexed one hand, and a blade shot out from under his gauntlet. "If you wish to pass the time by sword fighting, then I shall indulge you."

"You sound a little cocky. Reputations won't get you far here.." She traced the edge of her sword on the metal floor as thousands of Copy Soldiers and hundreds of Vortians fought in the burned waste lands barely a hundred yards away.

"Indeed," Dest nodded. "But I know that you are a worthy opponent even without your infamy. So as a favour to you and your slowly gathering family, I shall spare your life."

"I don't take favours!" Skullene leaped forward, her blade colliding with Dest's arm blade. Dest forced her off and slammed one fist into her gut. She coughed once, but then recovered by bringing her right foot up in a reverse heel kick into his side. He grunted under his helmet, and they continued to exchanged blows.

Nearby, Grimrair made a quick analysis of the battle as he crouched near the wreckage of his new ship.

Hellion and Shen were fighting, the Copy Troops giving them a wide berth. Shen had a pair of knives out and was trying to avoid Hellion's lethal claws, ducking and weaving in and out of range of the Irken Maniac's kill zone. Shen had taken a few hits, bleeding from a large gash in his side and another on the right side of his face. Hellion had a few stab wounds that healed rather easily, but one of his eyes had burst from Shen's latest attack.

Hellion sighed as fluids poured out of the empty eye socket. He glared at Shen. "If that was permanent, and were your eyes not so weak I'd take one of _yours_ to replace that."

Shen flicked some blood off of one knife, and tossed his cloak aside. "It's over Hellion."

"Because one fancily named Vortian says so?" Hellion scoffed. "Pah! I don't care for the Tallest! The Empire can burn for all that I care! I want what is mine only!"

Shen smirked. "Oh you, mean Skullene? Sorry...she's taken." He twirled one knife into a reverse grip and got into a defensive stance. "And I won't let you harm her."

Hellion's eyes suddenly burned with a rage that Shen had never seen in his entire life-which was at least a human century or a century and a half by now. He foamed at the mouth, his claws flexing. "You, she's with you? You dared to touch MY ANGEL!" He lunged forward.

"Wait, didn't we already establish that Skullene and I love each-" Shen was cut off when the Irken slammed into him. "OTHER?"

Xxx

Nearby, Sizz-Lor was trying to crush Carlos, who dodged every single attack easily. Carlos focused a powerful ball of fire into his hands and shot it at Sizz-Lor. "WOO HOO! ALIEN BARBEQUE!"

Sizz-Lor sneered and unfolded his PAK legs. A shield appeared around him, and the fire dissipated over the barrier. "Heat shielding!"

Carlos paused. "Heh, well now that just bites." He snapped his fingers. "Plan B!" He leaped into the air, unfolding his bat wings and shot towards Sizz-Lor. He aimed a kick at Sizz-Lor, letting out his battle cry. "I AM THE CARLOS!-"

THUD!

He slammed into a metal barrier that extended out of a gauntlet on Sizz-Lor's right fist. "Owie." He fell off of it like a bug on a wind shield and hit the floor. "Double owie."

"Adamantium shield." Sizz-Lor chuckled. "No fire, no way of breaking through this, it looks like you're screwed, human."

Carlos leaped to his feet, looking unharmed and suddenly had a pipe in his mouth and an odd hat on his head. He spoke with a distinct British accent. "Me thinks this requires a new plan."

It all went out in his head.

_This must be executed without flaw. First, subvert target's primary physical defences._

Carlos charged Sizz-Lor, and feigned a kick aimed at the Irken's feet, only to stop and flip off of the ground as Sizz-Lor angled his Adamantium shield to block. Carlos flipped head over heels and landed on the Irken's shoulders. The Heat Shielding activated again.

_Primary offensive method ineffective. Improvise with physical force. Apply pressure to target's knees to eliminate balance._

Carlos leaped down behind Sizz-Lor and slammed one foot into his right knee. Sizz-Lor stumbled a bit.

_Dazed, will attempt counter attack to stall for time. Get inside circle of defence to eliminate chance of successful impact._

Sizz-Lor swung the Adamantium shield like a club, but Carlos slid under it and got up, right against Sizz-Lor's gut.

_Target is open, press first attack with two strikes._

Carlos slammed one fist into Sizz-Lor's gut, followed by another. Sizz-Lor gasped in pain and stumbled back a bit.

_Maintain close distance to target area. Press attack with heavier blows._

Carlos slammed a round house kick into Sizz-Lor's gut. The Irken groaned in pain, clutching his stomach.

_Traumatize Squidlyspooch, initiate emesis (vomiting)_.

Carlos reared one fist back, covered in his usual 'demonic' aura and slammed it into Sizz-Lor's stomach again. As Sizz-Lor doubled over, Carlos moved aside in time to avoid being covered in the Irken's breakfast.

_Target temporarily neutralized. Disable by landing knockout blow to back of head._

Carlos then mimicked one of his all time favourite secret agents...

"JUDO CHOP!" He slammed the side of his right hand opposite of his thumb, all fingers extended outwards and together and the thumb curled into his palm into the area where Sizz-Lor's bloated head met his bloated body as the Irken began to get up, catching the cook in the throat. Sizz-Lor gagged.

_Initial assault failed, compensate by causing physical trauma to lower regions._

...

Carlos kicked Sizz-Lor in the groin.

The Irken collapsed, out like a light.

_In summary: bowels emptied, exterior bruising, squidlyspooch haemorrhaging, testicles forced up nto body, wounded pride. Physical recovery...eh, just put ice on it and he'll be fine by tomorrow. Psychological recovery:...heh, I'm never letting him live this one down! Capacity to ruin my shirt: neutralized._

Carlos stood victoriously. "I AM THE CARLOS!" He laughed. "Man, this is more fun than when I played a stunt double for necromancers!"

_Xxx_

"_Ok, so you screwed this guy over...killed his wife...tried to kill him and almost brought about the apocalypse..." Carlos looked at the church. "Now he's been sitting in there for a thousand years or so because you screwed up?"_

_A man with white hair and a cloak who sounded oddly like Patrick Stewart scratched the back of his head. "That is essentially it."_

"_...and now you want to crawl back to this guy and ask him for help...but you're scared he'll rip you apart...which by the way it sounds like you deserve." Carlos paused. "And you want me to go in there and pretend to be you: the guy he wants to kick around like a foot ball?"_

"_Will you do it or not?"_

"_Ah, sure," Carlos nodded. "So what's this guy's name again? Bell? Bella...Belly...Belmont?"_

_Zobek the Necromancer nodded, relieved. "Yes, Gabriel Belmont."_

_As thunder flashed over them, Carlos looked around the streets awkwardly as rain fell."..ok then." He shrugged and walked inside, humming a song happily under his breath._

_When he found his target, he took a moment to look at a picture of him as a handsome man with a thin beard, brown hair, and looked muscular. The one before him looked thin, sickly pale, and not so handsome anymore. "Dude! You really let yourself go!"_

_One broken and very expensive church window followed by a very damaged street later Carlos got his pay check._

_He walked away, feeling the bite marks on his neck. "Man, that Gabe dude likes blood more than my girl friends...was that why he gave me this hicky?" He looked at the swollen flesh. "Hm...I'd better get that treated."_

_(I don't own Castlevania, and whoever guesses the significance of this gets a uh...theoretical cookie?)_

Xxx

Melissa was shooting lightning at Roberto, who countered by dodging using his amazing new reflexes. He even got so close enough that he KISSED her on the lips briefly, making her all the more mad.

"Give it up Melly!" Roberto back flipped out of the way of one shot. "I'm way too fast for you signorina!"

"I'M GONNA ROAST YOUR ASS AND FEED IT TO YOUR FREAK CANNIBAL FRIEND!" Melissa shrieked, lobbing more bolts of lightning at him, which he either dodged or somehow pushed aside with his bare hands.

Xxx

Gaz was expertly avoiding shots from Hobo 678's rifle. She used her tentacles to pull herself to safety. When the laser fire stopped, she stood up and glared at him, opening one eyes. "That is really getting annoying now."

"Well get used to it girlie, it'll keep going until you're full of more holes than cheese!" hobo 678 cackled, and opened fire again with a series of laser bolts that tore up the area around the agile teenage girl who represented Terror.

She shot her tentacles out, but he leaped out of the way, crushing several Copy Troops as he went. He resumed firing again, and their deadly dance continued.

Xxx

And finally, his opponent stood before him with an empty, emotionless gaze...

Kurt and Grim circled one another.

"You are very powerful for a human, more so than Carlos even." Grim said.

Kurt shrugged and thought 'If he wasn't such a nut job he might have succeeded in killing me.'

"It shames me to harm a child, but you stand in my way and you are not to be taken lightly, I know this all too well." Grim brought out both energy scythes.

Kurt bared his fists, and prepared himself.

Two more colossal forces of bad assery clashed. Nether landed a single blow on one another. Grim's scythes cut through the ground and fighters around them, and Kurt's barrages of fists and feet knocked away more opponents, but neither could hit their intended target.

It went back and forth, neither giving ground and neither losing ground.

It was a stale mate to end all stale mates.

Xxx

"Come on, come on!" Dib said as he cleared away more rocks using his powers. "It's got to be here somewhere!"

"Dib! Hurry!" Sophie shouted, in the form of a Veniran as she used one powerful leg to kick a Copy trooper away.

Skoodge was firing his blasters in all directions as he expertly put his amazing skills as an Invader-under estimated only by his stature to use. He extended is PAK legs and fired more lasers from them, fending off multiple Copy Troops. He was spun around by a single shot that pierced his cover fire, but here covered and kept up with protecting Dib, who was slowly carving a tunnel into the Earth with his powers.

"Almost got it..." Dib strained until the ground cracked beneath him. He looked down. "Well crap- AH!" He fell through a hole along with Sophie and Skoodge. They fell into a large cavern and landed in a pile...right next to a group of frightened looking Veniran Mutants. The two groups stared at one another for several minutes, until one Veniran licked its lips.

Sophie gulped. "Well crap."

Xxx

DOWDOW!

Zim lowered his rifle. "Alright, this is the last door!"

Tenn knelt next to the door, holstering her pistol. "Keep them away from me for a minute!"

Tak and Zim spun and opened fire on several guards who came down a set of stairs near them. The guards returned fire, taking cover as one was gunned down.

Tenn was using her PAK legs to pry open the panel next to the door and began to hack into the system as her two allies held off multiple Irken guards.

Tak crouched and lowered her rifle, extending all four PAK legs and firing her lasers at the guards, suppressing any advances to be made from them.

"Where is the Dib-Human, has he found that pod yet?" Zim asked.

Tak opened her radio link. "Dib-Human! Have you got the pod yet?"

"Not yet, we stumbled into that nest of mutants you mentioned! AH, they're eating the Copy Troops and cocooning them up to feed their young!" Dib screamed. "Oh it's horrible!"

"No, it's good, but not good enough Dib-Human, I must resort to extreme measures!" Zim said. "I must call n some reinforcements!"

"Who you going to call? We have nearly every good guy on the planet?" Dib yelled. "Who you gonna call, huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Let me worry about that. In the mean time, get that Delta Pod and then get over to where I am, I need your help for this to work!" Zim said. "Who is with you? Are Skoodge and Sophie there still?"

"Yeah but we need to hurry!"

"Skoodge! Plan M!" Zm shouted.

"You don't mean..._that_, do you?" Skoodge shouted.

"I do, use that dimensional device I gave you and summon the ULTIMATE DOOM!" Zim paused. "Aside from Gaz and Carlos, and Kurt."

"What is plan M?" Dib asked.

Xxx

Skoodge sighed as they crouched into a side passage. "  
Sorry for doing this Dib, but it's necessary."

"Wait, what's this-AH!" Dib screamed as Skoodge aimed a device at Dib's head and shot him with a beam of energy.

"AH! CUT IT OUT!" Dib shouted.

"Sorry Dib, I'll have to boost the energy for the worm hole to work! We only have one shot at this!" Skoodge said as he adjusted the controls.

Suddenly the cave was filled with a blinding light that blew the ground above them into the sky.

"What the hell?" Carlos shouted. "I feel...a massive disturbance..." He added after a few moments. "In the Carlos!"

The light soon faded, and suddenly ,there stood a massive beast with white fur and was snarling, looking around at the army surrounding it.

"Oh no! It's...it's..." Carlos gasped.

"A poodle?" Skullene asked.

"No, it's that mangy mutt from next door!" Carlos yelled.

"This is pathetic ,especially for Zim." Gaz said.

"That's no ordinary giant poodle Gaz, it's the Poodle from the Prophecy!" Carlos shouted.

"What prophecy?" Shen asked.

"The prophecy that it will kill you if it sees you ,that's what, genius!" Carlos yelled. "Zim, what are you thinking using that? Are you nuts?...forget that, stupid question."

"That is not the reinforcements Carlos-Maniac," Zim declared. "But I think it is there...just much smaller."

Suddenly the Poodle yelped as something bit its foot and slowly began to devour it bit by bit. No matter how hard the massive dog struggled, soon it was eaten...by the Moose!

"HOLY CRAP!" Carlos leaped back in horror.

Kurt stopped fighting for a moment and stared at it with wide eyes.

"SWEET ALMIGHTY TALLEST!" Skullene, Hellion, Grim, and Dest shouted at once.

"IT'S THAT MOOSE THAT HURT CARLOS!" Melissa shouted.

"Don't get near it, don't offend it!" Sophie advised cautiously.

Skoodge sighed as he looked at the now exposed cave opening above his group. "Well, we're either doomed or about to kick ass."

"Oh man, that thing was freaky the first time I saw it, it's even worse now." Gaz shuddered.

"The moose...the moose!" Shen pointed at it.

Credaran stared at it cautiously, being the closest to it. "Moose! The Army of Green Men-you know, aside from Tak, Tenn, Skullene, Zim, Skoodge, and our friends are your enemies! They hate mooses! They want to kill all mooses! The green men in white armour want to kill all mooses!"

The Moose stiffened with a loud noise, and looked at the army around it...

It became a blood bath.

"Zim, of all the plans you have ever had, even though this is working I think that summoning the moose was the worst one you have ever had!" Skullene shouted as she watched the moose tear apart copy soldiers.

"I second that! Have you forgotten what it did to me? I HAVEN'T!" Carlos shouted, hiding behind Sizz-Lor's bloated, unconscious body.

"As I said before, and let this reminder be with you for all eternity! DO NOT TAUNT THE MOOSE!" Zim shouted.

"You summoned a moose?" A now awake Dib sat up.

"Not a moose Db, The Moose." Zim corrected. "Now get that Delta Pod so we can blow a hole in the armada! We'll handle the generators!"

Tenn finally opened the door. "Inside, now!"

The three Irken defects entered the generator room. As Tak remained behind to ward off the Elite Guards, Tenn and Zim manoeuvred through the large, cylinder shaped devices that powered the dome, planting explosives-home made by Carlos.

"I can already tell the Carlos-Maniac will thank us for the big explosion we're about to make." Zim said as he applied another charge to a generator.

"WE GONNA ESPLODE!" Gir cheered.

"Squeak!" Minimoose shouted as he fired multiple lasers.

"Alright, we're good to go!" Zim shouted. "Tak! Let's go!"

Tak backed away from the door and followed Zim and Tenn out through a second door.

Tenn held up the detonator as they rushed down the corridor. As soon as they turned a corner into a new hall, she detonated it, and the entire dome shook.

Zim cackled as the lights went out. "I love t when things go my way!"

Activating their optics, the Invaders continued along the corridor past Elte guards-who did not have enhanced optics and were now blinded. Tenn shouted over the confused cries of shock. "Minimoose, free the Veniran slaves! Provide them weapons!"

"SQUEAK!" Minimoose flew off to find the slave quarters.

"Now, time to make a few changes to the empire." Zim lead Tak and Tenn into another corridor, leading into the main hall outside the Tallests' Chambers.

Before them stood...just about every Invader the Empire had. Each of them was a highly trained elite Irken, and they all had guns locked on the trio.

"PULSE!" Zim shouted as Tak and Tenn took cover behind one of the pillars lining the main hall. A wave of energy shot out from Zim and washed over the Invaders, sending several of them flying and staggering the rest.

"Disc Blades!" Zim's Chakram came out of his PAK, two at a time, pausing only long enough for him to throw them before two more came out. Several Invaders evaded these bladed projectiles, but four were caught by one or two. The other Chakram buried themselves into the walls.

"FIRE!" One Invader shouted before he and the other thirty or forty Irkens opened fire.

Zim activated his personal shield and moved into cover with Tak and Tenn.

"These weaklings just don't know when to quit!" Zim smirked as he hefted his pistol. "Well, let's oblige them!"

Xxx

"I got it!" Dib held up the Delta Pod using his powers. "Now I just have to open it!"

"Well hurry up!" Skoodge snapped. "We're losing ground here!"

Even with the moose causing chaos, they were still heavily outnumbered. Skoodge and Sophie did their best to hold back Copy Soldiers.

Dib tapped the controls, and the pod hissed open. Inside was a single gauntlet wth the Irken emblem on it. He put it on, and watched as a holographic interface appeared before him, showing an image of Venira. Then it focused in on an image of the Massive, which was marked with the Irken Symbol. There were dozens of other Irken ships over the planet, and several Resisty ones hidden behind one of Venira's moons judging from the hostile .

"Ok, let's see if I can make this work." Dib managed to manoeuvre a targeting reticule over to one of the Irken symbols and hit the red button on the gauntlet.

The symbol pulsed, and then vanished. Up in the sky, a flash of light could be seen. "I think it worked!"

Xxx

"DEST!" Red shouted over the communications link. "You didn't get the Delta Pod first? Now they have the guns!"

"I'll handle them after I am done inside the dome." Dest replied.

"You're inside? But what about-" Purple activated the camera for the front gates and saw that neither Skullene nor Dest were fighting outside. "Where'd you go?"

Xxx

"You could say our fight has...taken a new setting." Dest whispered as he blocked another jab from Skullene and then knocked her next jab aside and tried to stab her through the chest. She pivoted aside and slammed her free hand into Dest's side. He let out a brief grunt and slammed into Skullene, knocking her sword out of one hand.

They now stood inside the Dome, the Vortian Commandoes too busy to help her while keeping security guards from overtaking their position. The guards avoided firing on the two fighting Irkens, knowing that if one of them accidently ht Dest they would all be doomed.

Xxx

Grim and Kurt struggled to overcome one another, teeth clenched as they strained to push one another back.

Xxx

Melissa yelped as she dodged another bolt of lightning from Roberto, and returned fire with her own electric attack. The werewolf leaped out of the way, perching on a rock.

"You'll have to do a lot better than that!" He called to her.

"Watch me!" she fired at him again, only for him to knock it aside with a wave of telekinetic power.

"Hah! I'm immune to that now baby!" Roberto grinned. "I can stop anything you throw at me!"

CRUNCH!

Roberto paused, squeaked, and fell over, revealing an extremely pissed of Carlos behind him. Carlos had kicked Roberto in the groin once again, having angled his foot while kicking from behind to hit right where he intended to.

"I've told you once, I'll tell you again you Taylor Lautner rip off artist." Carlos growled. "Don't. Touch. My. GIRLFRIEND!"

Roberto got up and snarled at hm. "Bring it on you torch screwing freak!"

"...wow, that was the most pathetic insult ever. But I'll still kill you!" Carlos and Melissa leaped forward as one.

Xxx

Shen punched Hellion across the face again, only to receive a blow twice as strong to his gut. As the Vortian doubled over, Hellion kicked him in the side of the head and knocked him over. Shen looked up as Hellion prepared to step on his skull. Shen rolled aside and kicked Hellion in the gut, getting to his feet as Hellion took two steps back.

Xxx

Credaran wrenched Lorak's head back, growling as the Planet Jacker tried to grab him and pull him off. The Veniran was in a wild fit of rage, not stopping for a moment, and always striking out whenever Lorak was about to get a grip on him. He slammed his elbow into Lorak's face when he almost grabbed Credaran's leg. "Fall you overgrown galactic trucker!"

Lorak snarled and rammed himself into the dome's wall in an effort to shake the rabid Veniran off.

Xxx

Gaz watched as her tentacles swung Hobo 678 around like a rag doll ,slamming him into the ground over and over again.

"OW! OW! OW! OW!" The Sergeant shouted each time he hit the ground.

"Whiner." Gaz smirked.

Xxx

Dib was having a blast with the Massive's Gunnery Controls, blasting away at Irken ships that did not get away fast enough.

Suddenly, an unknown contact appeared on the edge of the screen. The system used satellites and the Massive's sensors to project the image to Dib, allowing him to see a single light year out at the furthest from the planet. Right now there was something that shot right towards the planet.

"Agent Mothman, come in! Agent Mothman!" Dib looked at his Communicator Watch, revealing the image of Agent Dark Booty.

"Agent Dark Booty, you made it!" Dib grinned.

"It seems the engines were a lot faster than our researchers believed." Dark Booty might have been smiling, he might not have, Dib couldn't see. "Mothman, as soon as all alien vessels are eliminated, we'll evacuate you. If you can bring any alien technology with you, do so. We'll see if we can give you any help from orbit until then."

"You got it!" Dib said. "Oh, and I have the controls for the enemy flagship's main guns!"

"Yes I can see from the fact that it is blasting away at its own fleet." Dark Booty nodded. "Good job Mothman, very good job. We'll send several agents down to assist you."

"Nice! Finally the eyeballs give me some field support!" Dib said. "After all these years." He wiped a tear out of his eyes. "I'm so happy."

"Focus on the job Agent Mothman, we still have a job to do." Dark Booty said.

"Some of my friends are going to take the alien leaders hostage, after that we might be able to clear the Irken Fleet enough to evacuate us." Dib said. "Oh, and we might have a few uh...thousand more friends with us. So if you see any other ships taking off don't open fire on them."

"We'll try to identify friend from foe when the time comes. Good hunting Agent Mothman. Eyeball ship One, out." The conversation ended.

"Finally, somebody from Earth-and most of all from the Eyeballs actually helps me to fight the Irken Empire!" Dib said. ""Man if it wasn't for all the death and destruction I'd be happy!"

"Uh...I can think of a few reasons why you won't be happy if you don't keep firing." Sophie gulped.

Skoodge and Sophie were crouched behind several rocks near Dib as multiple soldiers began to close in on them. The copy soldiers paused, several advancing and kneeling, rifles locked on target.

Dib gulped. "Good point there." He kept firing.

Xxx

End of chapter


	18. Chapter 18

Kill Zim

Hellion/Skullene: WE'RE BACK BABY! XD

Big news people, you can see and read about Skullene on DeviantArt now as she participates in Battle of Alluria! A good friend of me, LeonThorn has my permission to use her for it.

And also, if you want to put some of your own Invader Zim OCs into an OCT (tournament), just go to DeviantArt and find Hell's Foundry-starring Hellion and headed by the Warden! They need OCs and they need them badly! And note: it is not strictly for comics, you can type the stuff up if you want to.

I own nothing! IZ belongs to Jhonen Vasquez and the unworthy NickToons!

Xxx

Sitting on top of the defeated Roberto and Sizz-Lor, Carlos and Melissa were celebrating as the fighting moved elsewhere. The Vortian army had been reduced to around four hundred and had taken up position in the hills, drawing the Copy Army away as they held them back. The two maniacs celebrated in their own way...with some Vortian Moonshine that Shen had made.

Carlos snickered as he set a pin into the ground. "Thoshe muthashuckahs will nevah shee thish comin at em." He set a small golf ball on the pin.

"Ooh! That one! That one were sho fun!" Melissa giggled.

"Alright here..." Carlos' voice suddenly cleared up as he shook his head and pulled out a golf club. "This...is the hole in one...this...one shot...could guarantee complete victory." His eyes narrowed. "Tempers flare as the gally waits in total, complete suspense as the contender prepares to make his move..." He brought the golf club up. "And we are ready to start what could be a never before seen in the history of-" He began to swing.

"CARLOS-MANIAC WHAT THE FLORP ARE YOU DOING?" Zim shouted over the radio out of the blue.

Carlos paused, the golf club falling out of his grasp. He growled. "RIGHT DURING MY BACK SWING? COME ON ZIM!"

"We're n the middle of a war and you're trying to play golf?" Skoodge shouted from where he and Sophie were defending Dib.

"Not gold my uh...One of Many Tiny Green Friends, but Exploding Golf!" Carlos smirked as he picked up his club once more.

"Exploding Golf? What the heck is that?" Sophie asked.

"Uh...I think I'll just show you." Carlos said as he got ready. "Suspense builds in the gally as they await for the contender to make his final move that will bring a final victory to an event never before seen in the history of exploding golf."

...

"You're voice is a stupid as Dib's, you keep talking to yourself." Gaz said.

"Yeah yeah, keep stating your opinion when nobody asks for it." Carlos brought his club up. "Fire in the hole! FOUR!" He swung and sent the golf club flying far across the plans of bodies. "And there it goes! I don't think a golf ball has ever looked so majestic while flying through the air!"

"Uh...it's a golf ball." Shen said in a strained voice as Hellion tried to strangle him.

"But look at it! Look at the golf ball everybody!" Suddenly several hundred copy Troops looked up right before the ball landed among them. They looked down at it for several seconds.

One suddenly spoke. "Well it does look pretty neat-"

"WHAT THE F-" BOOM! "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-EHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

A mushroom cloud shot into the air as Carlos cheered. "And it's a hole in one! A never before seen even in the history of this galaxy! And now the returning champion shall wait for his opponent to make his move."

He looked to his right...where Kurt had a similar golf club and exploding WTF Golf Ball. "The opponent is ready; ready to send out his WTF bomb into the valley."

"KURT'S PLAYING TOO?" Credaran shouted as the first explosion sent rocks and dirt flying by him and Lorak.

"What happened to Grim?" Dib asked as he blasted more Irken ships in orbit using the controls.

Kurt looked over to where he had last seen Grim. After Carlos had triggered his golf ball Grim had seemingly vanished in the wave of dust that flew over the entire field. All that could be seen was Credaran sitting on top of a now unconscious Lorak, smoking. He looked at them. "Can't you see I'm on break?"

"Remember kids of the galaxy, smoking is bad, it is a bad habit, it can kill you. Don't do smokes," Carlos said. "Especially Irken Cigarettes. Now, we return to the game. The opponent is ready to make his move."

Kurt raised the golf club. Carlos smirked. 'He has no idea I have rigged this one to explode on impact with the golf club.'

Time slowed down from Carlos' point of view.

_This must be executed without flaw._

_First, target places ball on ground._

_Next, target prepares for back swing._

_...ok, instead target takes moment to examine air current._

_...ok and now he's stopping for a soda..._

_Okay here he goes-wait no, he has a pebble in his shoe-bloody hell man!_

_..._

_Okay, now we're on track again-WHAT THE HELL MAN? WHAT NOW?_

_Oh, he's making sure his golf club is in working order. That's good, Exploding Golf wouldn't be Exploding Golf without a golf club._

_Okay, now target goes for swing-wait no, target is distracted by blue bird overhead...I must admit it is a very interesting bird though. Pretty little birdy! Hee-hee-hee-er uh...wait! Go back to work Carlos. Righteous Quest of Unholy Vengeance, must complete._

_Okay, target is back on track now-FINALLY, seriously how long does it take to do a fricking putt man?_

_Ok...he goes for the swing...and what the hell? The club slipped out of his hand!_

_Oh to nuts with it all!_

"Never mind Kurt I'll swing it myself!" Carlos growled as he took Kurt's golf club from his hands. "Step aside!" He took up position. "You just take the golf club," He swung it back, accidently hitting Kurt in the chin and knocking him over. "And swing!" He was too focused on the golf ball to realize he had finally achieved his goal of finally hitting Kurt after years of pursuit. "LIKE THIS! FOUR!" He swung...and the golf ball exploded.

"WHAT THE F-?" BOOM! "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-EHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

As a second mushroom cloud shot into the air, Lard-Nar paused in mangling a Copy Soldier. "What just happened?"

"Carlos blew himself up!" Sophie shouted before the cloud cleared, revealing Carlos covered in soot. He coughed some up as Kurt nursed a bruise on his chin.

"Were you...really distracted or just trying to tick me off?" Carlos asked.

Kurt shrugged and made gestures.

"That is not a violation of the Oath of Crazy Allied Maniacs! As you can read right here," Carlos held up a contract. "There is no bylaw preventing me from rigging golf balls to explode and claiming it to be an accident like just now."

Kurt made quicker hand gestures.

"Okay maybe doing it in public is bending them a bit, but who would believe it actually happened?" Carlos asked.

Xxx

On Earth...

"You tried to kill him in the hospital with that same method didn't you Sarah?" Jack asked.

"He had it coming! He ruined my date." Sarah crossed her arms and pouted.

Xxx

Back to the Carlos-I mean Zim.

Red and Purple watched the door to their throne room, each of them gripping a blaster as the fighting began to die down outside.

Purple swallowed. "I-I'm scared."

"Don't worry Pur, it's just Zim." Red's eyes narrowed. "He can die like anybody else."

Xxx

Mini-Moose led a large crowd of Veniran slaves. They were wielding weapons stolen from the guards and were extremely motivated.

"Minimoose! Are the slaves free?" Zim shouted over the link.

"Squeak!"

"Good! Now, Code 325!"

"Squeak?"

"EMP Minimoose! Shut down the security system! They managed to get the backup generators on line!" Zim snapped.

"Squeak!"

"Our PAKs and weapons are protected against EMP Minimoose, just do it!"

"Squeak!" Minimoose suddenly glowed with energy that slowly built up until it shot out from him. Suddenly every device in the dome shut down once again.

Xxx

"Aw man!" One Irken sitting in a bath room whined. "First some jack ass steals the toilet paper now I can't see anything! Does anybody have a flash light?"

Suddenly a light came on.

"Oh, thank-" the Irken, who was reading a news paper as he sat in a stall paused as he was confronted by three massive Venirans in slave uniforms. In front of them stood GIR. Each of them held a flash light.

"Hi!" Gir said before the Venirans blasted the Irken out of existence.

Xxx

The Venirans rushed the surprised Irken guards, tearing them to pieces.

One of them cackled maniacally. "Freedom! Sweet sweet free-AH!" He was shocked by the tip of a staff. "Ouch."

Xxx

Back outside, Carlos was standing on a white square. He had a base ball hat on, was gripping an aluminum bat, and was chewing some gum. "You ready Kurt? We gotta make this count buddy!"

Kurt, who wore a similar base ball cap and was chewing gum of his own nodded as he held up a base ball.

_This will need to be executed perfectly and without incident._

_Explosive Base-Ball: Check._

_Annoying but worthy enemy as pitcher: check_

_Lucky Base Ball Bat: Check._

_Plan: Wack base ball very hard, hits dome, leaves big hole for fellow maniacs and revolters to break in and take enemy strong hold in force._

_First, enemy launches explosive rojectile._

Kurt reared his arm back and shot it right at Carlos.

_Projectile heads towards me._

_Base Ball Bat, swing very hard._

CLING!

Carlos hit the ball dead on and sent it towards the dome.

_Successful impact, projectile inbound for enemy dome._

BOOM!

_Projectile detonated._

When the smoke cleared, there was a hole in the dome big enough for dozens to go through at once.

_Entrance successfully established...now I know why my sister wanted to use this bat to kill me, she is so successful that its good luck is rubbing off on me...maybe I can kill Kurt wit hit...then again she might murder me for using her lucky bat...and trying to kill Kurt with it._

Xxx

"Isn't that your lucky bat?" Jack asked.

"CARLOS!" Sarah screeched.

Xxx

Carlos looked around. "I...feel..a disturbance...in the Carlos!"

"Dude!" Dib ran up to him, gasping for breath. "There are times...where you sound too much...like Shatner."

"Well at least you didn't say I'm possessed agan." Carlos said. 'Now hold on tight Big Head, I have a plan."

"My head isn't- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Dib shouted.

"Don't worry comrade, am a professional!" Carlos, who had scrunched Dib up into a ball tossed the boy into the air. "Onwards to SAFETY!" He hit Dib with the bat, sending him flying.

"YOU MANIAAAACCC!-" THUD!

Dib hit next to the hole and slid down. He got up and glared at Carlos. "You jerk."

"NOW GET INSIDE AND HELP THE SLAVES!" Carlos shouted. "We got these mofos out here!"

As he spoke, Kurt joined him as an army of Copy soldiers surrounded them.

"Oh yeah...now it gets interesting." Carlos cracked his knuckles. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Kurt nodded.

"Alright buddy, unleash the ultimate power of chaos!" Carlos put on some sun glasses. "PREPARE YOURSELVES VIEWERS OF THE GALAXY! FOR YOU SHALL NOW SEE A POWER LIKE NO OTHER, A POWER THAT DEFIES MADNESS! YOU SEE...THE KURT!" He looked away. "Those with heart conditions, avert your eyes! AVERT!"

Kurt then reached up...and took off his sun glasses. In that instant a blinding light filled the field. The army of copy troops froze, their jaws dropping along with their rifles.

The other fights stopped also. Shen and Hellion stopped trying to clobber one another and stared at the light.

"Impossible." Shen whispered.

Gaz had her eyes wide open and was staring at Kurt. "Wow..."

Skoodge's jaw dropped. "So...wow..."

"Don't look sophie! Look away!" Melissa tugged on her friend's arm and turned her away from the light. "The Kurt has unleashed itself!"

Sophie shook her head. "Wha? Who? Moosey?"

"Yes sophie, Moosey." Melissa said grimly.

Xxx

Carlos' family stared in awe.

Sarah sighed dreamily. "That's why I love him."

"Wow...I didn't think it was physically possible to look like that." Jack said.

Carlos' father hissed. "This is why Kurt is a worthy adversary! Not just against Carlos but ALL forms of madness, even I! The KING of Madness!"

Xxx

"Such...blinding light!" Professor Membrane cried out. "A scientific breakthrough like none ever seen before! We must- coffee break, pardon me everybody." He walked out.

Xxx

The Tallests stared at the screen.

"Did that scare you too?"

"Yep."

"Do you also need a change of robes?"

"Yep."

Xxx

Dib looked around at everybody. "Why's everybody so amazed."

Kurt shrugged, repeatedly turning a flash light he was holding over his eyes on and off repeatedly.

"Psychological warfare Comrade Big Head!" Carlos said. "Do not look in the light!"

"Oh come on how can one look at a flash light- AH! Dib let out a long scream as his pupils dilated and then rolled back into his head. He began to giggle. "Hee-hee-hee, I feel happy! So-so happy!" He began to lean back and forth in a dizzy dance.

"Uh oh, he has stared into the light!" Carlos rushed over to Dib and slapped him. "WAKE UP!" He shook the big headed boy. "Man he got off light ,that crap burned me for months."

Shaking off his daze, Dib blinked. "How did a flash light do that?"

"Oh, that was a new eco-friendly flash light Kurt designed, man that guy is good at building shit." Carlos sighed. "Wish I could make a flash light that hypnotizes people...hey, where'd that moose go?"

The moose seemed to appear out of nowhere behind him, dizzy and swaying from side to side.

"Moose! Easy moosey, I ain't here to argue! Me friendly now! No, me like the moose! No taunts, no offense whatsoever to you ,your moosiness." Carlos said, thinking in the back of his head over and over...

_Please don't do what you did before. Please don't do what you did before. Please don't do what you did before. Please don't do what you did before._

It looked down at him, making a puzzled sound.

"Meep!" Suddenly it leaned down...and licked his face. "Oh dear god-ugh...forgot I can't say that word but I'm still very happy."

The moose straightened up and began to make multiple sounds.

"What's that? You say you're already full? How?"

It replied in its own language.

"Ah, I see, these copy soldiers need to eat more fibre." Carlos nodded. "Fare thee well Moosey Lord!"

The Moose nodded...and then leaped into Dib's head.

"AH! GET IT OUT!" Dib screeched as t tried to fit in. "IT'S! TOO! BIG! GET IT OUT IT'S WAY TOO BIG TO FIT IN THERE!"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID COMRADE BIG HEAD! THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Carlos shouted.

"NOT FUNNY!" Dib shouted before the moose successfully entered his big head.

"It's funny to anyone who doesn't have a large head."

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!"

"You'd think he'd get used to that by now." Carlos shook his head. "Oh, well. Let's get back to work."

He pulled out his flame thrower and a crazy grin appeared on his face.

"Back to basic! HERE COMES THE CARLOS! AH!"

He ran into the base and explosions were seen.

Xxx

"This is it Hellion." Shen discarded his cloak entirely, and took off his gloves. "No more fancy toys. No more guns or knives or bombs, just you and me, here and now!"

"Your choice," Hellion cracked his knuckles. "I'll still rip your head off!"

Hellion swung a right hook at Hellion, twisting his hips and putting more power and speed into the hit. When Hellion blocked it with one arm, pushing it aside Shen did not try to stop him, instead he twisted at the waist in the other direction, slamming his left fist into Hellion's chin in an uppercut.

_Do not stop your attacks._ He reminded himself. _Your attacks are a river, never ending, never stopping, never slowing._

Hellion swung a devastating punch of his own. Shen let it clip his right shoulder and slammed his left knee into Hellion's gut, and then head butted him. Three more quick jabs and then ducked under Hellion's next punch, grabbing his wrist with one hand and slamming his other fist into Hellion's elbow. The arm bent out of shape. Hellion hissed and snapped his left leg out in a front kick that launched Shen back.

"That. Florping. Hurt." Hellion growled, but then snapped his arm back into place like fixing a toy.

Shen straightened up, his arms positioned to defend. He spread his legs a bit and angled his right side towards Hellion. He kept his head straight, a neutral expression on it and his chin slightly tucked towards his head. "It'll hurt a lot more when I'm finished with you." He cracked a smirk. "And after that, Skullene and I will go far, _far_ away, and I'll show her a few things an insane, blood crazed demon like you could never give her."

Hellion shrieked and lunged at Shen again.

Xxx

The door was blown open, and the two Invaders standing guard spun, weapons in hand as Zim, Tak, and Tenn advanced into the room. The defectives spread out.

"Hello," Zim hissed. "My _Tallest._"

"You!" Purple pointed an accusing finger at Zim...accusingly...and dramatically.

After several seconds of silence and every Irken looking around, Zim tried to speak. "Uh-"

"YOU!" Purple shouted again, louder and more um...accusingly.

"Me!" Zim snarled back at the Tallest.

"Him!" Red shouted.

"Them!" One guard gasped.

"Her?" The other looked at Tak.

"No, him!" The first guard pointed at Zim.

"Finally, I fell off of the face of existence itself just so I could come back here, to this very spot." Zim growled. "And now Tallest, it is time. The Empire's conquest is at an end."

"Says who! Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?" Purple snapped.

"You've got no chance Zim, just lay down and die," Red drew out a blaster pistol. "And stay dead this time, Splorchamheimer!"

CRASH!

The ceiling of the throne room was blown open, and two shapes fell down into the midst of the startled Irkens. One of the two was Skullene, bruised and with several new cuts. Across from her stood Dest, with several breaches in his suit that were knitting themselves back together as the last of the debris hit the floor.

"Zim..." Dest drawled. "After all this time...We meet again."

"Wha?" Zim blinked. "Who are you again?"

"Invader Dest, dad!" Skullene growled, not taking her eyes off of Dest.

"Dest, yes," Dest nodded. "So long...so long since we last met, Splorchamheimer, so long since we fought...so long since you died." He paused for several seconds. "So long...much longer than it has been since I killed Dest."

"What?" Red's eyes widened. "What are you-?"

SHING!

KSHING!

Suddenly A knife buried itself into Red's throne, inches above his head. Dest lowered his hand. "Silence, Red. I have played my part, and now the mask is removed." He retracted his arm blades. "I have worn the mask of Dest for so long, I forged his legendary reputation, and it was I who conquered and killed, all leading up to this pre-ordained day." He slowly brought his hands up to his neck. "All in preparation," He unhooked the oxygen cables connecting his mask to his suit. With a 'hiss' of oxygen they disconnected, and fell limp.

"For when the end finally came." He began to unlatch the mask's attachments to the collar of the suit.

"For when my true mission was to be completed." The voice filtration device built into the mask ceased to block out Dest's true voice, that of a male Irken.

"For when the Empire saw its true leader." The mask now hang in one hand.

"For when my brother returned." A pair of blue eyes glared at Red.

"Its-it-he-!" Tenn stuttered.

"It's him!" Purple screeched.

"Yes," The Irken smirked. "The name's Apoc, but you can call me...Invader _Apocalyptic._"

Xxx

DUN DUN DUUUNNN! O_O

End of chapter!


	19. Chapter 19

Kill Zim

Xxx

"You!" Purple pointed at Apoc. "But-you vanished years ago! Centuries ago!"

"Him!" One guard gasped.

"Them?" the other one said hesitantly.

"DON'T START THAT AGAIN!" Skullene shouted.

"Yes, please do not," Apoc nodded. "I had to go around wearing that mask in public 24/7 for nearly four and a half centuries, I'd rather not have my first moments of _not _wearing it cause me to lose any more sanity."

"Brother," Zim whispered.

"ELLO!" Gir shot into the room and hovered next to Zim, followed by Minimoose.

"Squeak!"

"Excellent! The slave uprising goes well!" Zim regained his usual arrogant smile. "Face it Tallest, you have no way to escape!"

"Oh, but that is where you are wrong, defect." Red stood up.

"The only Defects here, my tallest," Zim sneered. "Are you! You and your control brain masters! You have turned our race into war mongers and disgraceful shadows of themselves!"

"Says the guy who almost blew up the entire Irken race!" Purple shouted.

"Eh, that was me trying to kill you, I just didn't know it until now." Zim shrugged. "The only real regret I have is the loss of Miyuki and stopping my daughter from killing you in the first place."

"No more talk!" Skullene whipped out her sword. "Time to finish what I started!"

"Eek!" Purple leaped into Red's arms. "Save me!"

"I've got this! INCENDIN GUARD! FORWARD!" Red shouted before eight guards slid down from hatches in the ceiling-parts not blasted by Skullene and Dest's entrance on cables. They all wore black and purple armour, and were armed with daggers, swords, pistols, rifles, and shotgun style energy weapons.

"Incendin guard?" Zim's antennae twitched.

"Uh...kind of like the elite Guard and Invaders but...well they aren't expendable." Tak informed him.

"Oooohhhhh..." Zim said. "Well then, I guess I'll have to improvise then- HAI!" He whipped out his pistol and fired.

One guard used his PAK legs to make a shield-weaker than Zim's personal shield but more than capable of blocking the laser. However, the next Incendin Guard had to whip out a pair of knives to avoid being decapitated by Skullene, who came at him with her sword.

As the fighting grew, Zim found himself standing in front of Apoc. They stared into one another's eyes. Sapphire blue met Ruby red. Apoc was taller than Zim-that would change if Zim kept growing back to his original height; Splorchamheimer had been taller than Apoc by two feet or so before he had died.

"Are you ready brother?" Apoc asked.

"I think I was ready for a long time, I just never knew it." Zim nodded.

"Good, then take this." Apoc pulled out a small device. "It was a gift from the Veniran Emperor himself, I held on to it after you died." He tossed it to Zim. "Use it well, and set our people free."

Zim looked at the device. It looked like a component of armour meant for defending the fore arms and upper arms, and had sockets for his fingers and thumb to come out through. Slipping the gauntlet on, it fastened itself to his arm. The armour had what looked like a control interface built into the fore arm section.

"What is it?" Zim asked as he looked up.

Apoc smiled. "Your final upgrade, brother."

Glancing down at the gauntlet, Zim placed his free hand on the control interface, which hummed to life. Zim's eyes widened as he felt what the device was giving him, what it had done to his upgrades. It gave them power, it completed them.

"ENERGY BLADE!" A long blade of glowing blue energy shot out of the gauntlet, rippling as it swung down and cut through the nearest guard that tried to attack Apoc from behind.

Apoc spun and with a flick of his wrist, cut the guard's throat. He repeated this with the next attacker while Skullene cut down two of the other guards.

As the final Incendin guard went down, the Irken Invaders began to focus on the Tallest.

Red snickered. "I just needed some breathing space and a little time Zim, now I'm ready." He and Purple stood as their two personal guards backed up until they stood mere inches from their Tallest.

Suddenly, all four of the aliens vanished in pillars of light. Skullene had reacted when the teleportation sequence had started and fired her pistol, but the shots went through the fading images of the Tallest and their guards.

"Domnia!" Skullene cursed in an alien language. "They escaped!"

"Can we track them?" Tenn asked.

"I know where they are." Dest's eyes narrowed. "Their escape ship, they will make for the Massive where they will override your human friend's control of it."

"If they do that, they'll blow us all off the face of existence!" Tak said.

"Which is why we have to hurry!" Zim turned on one heel and began to march out of the room with Minmoose and Gir occupying his shoulders.

"Sandwich! I got a sandwich!" Gir held up a week old sandwich he pulled ut of his head.

"Gir, where do you GET these things?"

"I don't know..."

Xxx

"Okay, so let me try to make sense of this." Grimrair said. "That human is...what did you call him?"

"Dude, I don't repeat myself, so if you didn't hear me before then I won't repeat it since quite frankly, I find you annoying." Carlos glanced at Kurt. "Do you have any threes Kurt?"

Signs of Doom!

"Go fish, eh? Dang." Carlos picked up a card.

"What is the point of this game?" Grim asked.

"Well it goes like this, we have these cards and we have to guess the other's cards. Guess wrong, you pick up a card, only we added a twist!" Carlos grinned. "If you pick up the card with the bomb on it, and the other guy guesses the card is in your hand, then BOOM!" He chuckled. "Game over."

Going on inside his mind... 'Hehehe...the fool, little does he know, I only put one whole bomb in the deck and made sure he will be the only one to pick it up through deductive reasoning and memorization that will make sense only to myself, I have made a clever plan to stall him until he picks up the bomb card, only have to go with three more Go Fishes and then 'BOOM'!' He chuckled again.

"Uh...so why aren't you attacking us anymore?" Dib asked.

"You know Big Head ,you really need to stop looking for sense in the universe. You stand for Liberty, not Sanity. If you did, I'd kick your overly paranoid butt and then use your hideously gigantic head as a bowling ball and that scythe thing on your head as an ear cleaner." Carlos yawned.

"Well, if you must know Dib-Weirdo." Grim leaned against a ruined battle tank. "I find myself sickened by all of this. Hunting my sister with my insane and incest brother while my dad is inside fighting to kill the most incompetent rulers in our empire's history? The way I see it, my father retaking his throne is for the better, and is most likely to become the outcome of this battle with his memory restored."

"Oh, gee, that sounds so convincing." Sophie said sarcastically.

Grim sighed. "And...despite common belief...I truly did miss him for all of those centuries. The time under Red and Purple's rule had left me...apathetic and bitter towards him. I felt like he had abandoned us, left us alone. It only got worse when mother died, and by the hands of his own Blob no less."

He straightened up. "Now, I am putting aside those immature frustrations for my true enemy. We can win with all of the power we have amassed here. We have the Resisty, some of the most lethal and professional mercenaries, assassins, paranormal creatures and invaders ever seen. That and with my uncle showing up we have an even greater chance of-"

"Wait...uncle?" Dib asked.

"That's what he said Big Head-Go Fish Kurt." Carlos said. 'Heehee, it's so close, I can almost see the fireworks going off in my head!'

Let it be known that Carlos' insanity is partially caused by little aliens firing fireworks in his head. This could be an explanation for his obsession of explosions and fire.

"It was a little hard not to know that Dest wasn't Dest." Grim shrugged.

"Wait...you _knew_ who he was all along?" Hellion asked as he tried to strangle Shen-and oddly not even the Vortian Commandoes who were mopping up the few surviving Copy Soldiers tried to stop him.

"Of course, I just didn't want to steal your thunder," Grim shrugged. "And by thunder I mean your overly developed ego that keeps you on your imaginary throne of bones and sending you after our FLORPING SISTER! By the gods Hellion, seriously! Your older sister! What is wrong with you?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"...Nevermind, I'm just gonna sit here and watch the Vortian beat the crap out of you and send you back to whatever rock you crawled out of."

Meanwhile, Carlos was close to laughing maniacally. 'This is it. The moment he picks up that card I'll ask the question, and then Kurt goes Boom!'

"Go Fish my good friend!" Carlos said.

Kurt slowly reached down and dramatically picked up the card in that slow motion kind of way with overly exaggerated movements and sounds.

"Does anybody hear insane giggling?" Dib asked out of the blue.

"What are you talking about Big Head?"

"Well I just thought I heard something...like a maniac celebrating the 4th of July...or enjoying an extra sugary donut."

"Stay out of my donuts!" Skoodge shouted. "Just keep firing!"

"Fine. " Dib continued to use the controls to the Massive's guns on the slowly dwindling armada in orbit.

'This is it! THIS IS IT!' Carlos twitched as he grinned maniacally. "Kurt...you wouldn't happen to have a...bomb in your hand, would you?"

'Okay, the moment he makes the hand sign, he is dead.'

Signs! THE SIGNS!

"GO FISH?" Carlos blinked. "What?"

Signs again!

"What the- but how- I thought- oh alright." Carlos slowly reached down. 'What happened, what's wrong?'

Xxx

_Flash back of Death!_

_Carlos yawned. "I need a five minute bath room break, do you mind putting this on hold?"_

_Signs!_

"_Thanks man." He walked away, and mumbled under his breath. "When I come back you're dead."_

_Sign?_

"_Nothing!"_

_Suddenly Hellion and Shen stumbled over._

"_I'LL RIP YOUR HORNS OUT AND FASHION THEM INTO DRINKING CUPS! AND THEN I'LL DRINK YOUR BLOOD FROM THEM AND PISS IN YOUR EYE SOCKETS!" Hellion raged as he throttle the Vortian. "YOU'LL PAY FOR TOUCHING MY ANGEL!-!-!-!-!-!"_

"_GACK!" Shen brought one foot up and slammed it into Hellion's groin, doubling the Invader over._

"_OOF!" The Maniac stumbled back and tripped over the deck of cards, scattering them._

_Kurt quickly put the deck back together as Shen leaped over him and tackled Hellion._

_Carlos came back as the fight moved off. "Alright ,let's continue!"_

Xxx

Carlos gulped as he picked up...

THE BOMB!

Kurt made hand signs.

'Do you have 'The Bomb', Carlos?'

"Meep." Shakily, Carlos turned the card. "Y-yeah-"

BOOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OMMMMMM-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M,!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!

"AH!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!" Carlos screamed as he was engulfed in a small mushroom cloud. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

As Carlos was dragged away to recover by Melissa, Grim looked at the captives that the three hundred some remaining Vortians had taken. "What do we do with these ones?"

"Just count yourself lucky that you aren't chained up with them." Lard-Nar snapped as he walked over.

Sizz-Lor, Sergeant Hobo 678, Lorak, and Roberto were on their knees ,hands cuffed behind them and a Disruptor field over Roberto to keep him from using his Meekroobian powers. Several Vortians kept their rifles aimed at the captives.

"You four have two choices. Captivity as prisoners of what will be a brief war, or to pledge your allegiance to the Resisty!" Lard-Nar declared.

"Betray the Tallest and the empire? You speak blasphemy!" Sizz-Lor snarled...before a now recovered Carlos punched him in the gut once. "Ow..."

"Give it up Lard-Nar, they won't change sides." Skoodge said after he choked down the last Donut.

"Good point...take them away! And place fifty credits on Hellion breaking off one of Shen's horns!" Lard-Nar declared as his soldiers lead the prisoners away. "Ixane! Get our ship on the phone and tell them to prepare to pick us up! We have a lot of wounded and soon to have more prisoners of war."

Xxx

From the command deck of the new Resisty Vortian Dreadnaught, the cloaked alien nodded. "We're on the way Captain!" She took her seat. "All ships move in and evacuate the surviving Commando Units."

"We'll also be having Veniran controlled ships moving out soon, so watch your fire." Lard-Nar advised.

"Copy that. All ships, check targets before you fire."

Xxx

Credaran stood before hundreds of his kind, holding a large spear like weapon over his head as he howled. They all joined in. "FREEDOM!"

"Now, we shall celebrate our victory here with a brief feast." Credaran smirked.

"Ooh, how will you get food for all of-" Sophie stopped as each Veniran picked up an Irken corpse...and chowed down.

The Vortian Army and Zim's gang stared in shock as the Veniran slaves devoured hundreds, and then thousands of the Copy Soldier corpses.

"What the hell man?" Carlos shouted.

"Uh...if I may?" The group turned as Zim, Skullene, Tak, Tenn, Gir, Minimoose, and Apoc came out of the Dome. Apoc coughed awkwardly. "Venirans were due to be targeted by the Empire even without Splorchamheimer's defection to their custody because...they were cannibalistic and often ate Irkens."

"EW!" Every one of the fighters shouted.

"DON'T KNOCK IT TIL YOU TRY IT!" Hellion shouted from a hundred yards away where he and Shen were STILL fighting.

Skullene stared at them. "Oh for the love of- that's it." She stomped over there...and grabbed Hellion by one antenna and Shen by one horn.

"Owowowowowowowowowowow!" they both shouted.

"Now both of you stop it!" Skullene scolded them. "Hellion, it's time that we end this. I am thoroughly SICK of you chasing me and it stops now. I'm going to show you right now, I'm TAKEN! Shen, come here!" She suddenly grabbed Shen by the head and pulled him into a kiss. The Vortian immediately reacted, wrapping his arms around her and they both tumbled over as the gathered audience watched the tangle of limbs and horns.

"I seriously hope the parents are covering their kids eyes right about now." Carlos said.

A few Vortians sent out wolf whistles and supportive calls to the couple. "WOOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!"

"Hey! That's my sister!" Grim shouted at them.

"That's my niece!" Apoc growled.

"THAT'S MY DAUGHTER!" Zim roared.

The Vortians silenced themselves.

Xxx

Later...

"On one hand, I should have you three thrown into jail cells and await trial," Lard-Nar examined the Irkens before him. "On the other hand, I can't turn down willing help from some of the most feared Irkens in history."

"My thoughts precisely, Captain Lard-Nar." Apocalyptic nodded, standing as a professional with his hands behind him and his legs slightly spread. Grim stood next to him in a matching pose. Hellion however was slumped, his antennae hanging down as he grumbled bitterly.

After much debate, Hellion-with no reason left to serve Red and Purple had agreed to instead join his family with the Resisty. Now the group was gathered in the Resisty's Flagship, the _Vortian Pride_. Other ships, some of Vortian design and others of Irken design joined the fleet. The Veniran slaves, used to operate many vehicles and machines their whole lives had easily hijacked several dozen of the ships from the Dome.

Credaran had become the de facto leader of the Slave Uprising. Shen, now clad in a clean Vortian Army uniform stood next to Lard-Nar and Ixane at the command station. Skullene, changed out of her ragged battle armour and into what looked like a pitch black version of an invader outfit with blue lines going down the sleeves and around the collar of the shirt joined them.

Tenn, Skoodge, Melissa, Sophie, Dib, Gaz, Kurt, and Carlos were down in the infirmary. Zim and Tak stood several feet away from the three Irkens. Zim had changed out of his battle armour for a set of knee high boots, black pants tucked into the boots, and a red shirt that was longer at the back, giving it a kind of cape look as it flared out. It made him look a more imposing version of his old self. He kept the Armour component Apoc had given him on his right arm while a simple black glove went over his opposite hand. Tak was dressed in a similar way, but her boots were thigh high and her gloves reached the middle of her upper arms.

"I can place my trust in you two," He indicated Grim and Apoc. "But what of him?" He looked at Hellion.

"The Tallest have nothing to offer me...but more blood." Hellion hissed. "Let me fight, let me kill, let me be killed if possible." He had lost his insane, homicidal flare with his lust for Skullene.

Lard-Nar glanced at a Meekroobian crew member, who nodded after examining a Neural Scanner. "The Homicidal Maniac speaks the truth."

"Very well, you may join us." Lard-Nar looked towards the main canopy. "We go to war this day! Venira is ours, now let us swat the Tallest's fleet out of the stars! Starting with the Massive!" The Resisty Fleet, joined by the Veniran occupied Irken fleet was closing in on the weakened Armada.

"With the Tallest in control of the Massive again, it may prove difficult to fight them on even ground, even with this impressive arsenal of advanced Vortian and Irken technologies." Apoc stated.

"Which is why Zim has an INGENIOUS plan." Zim declared, sounding like his old self for a second. "Leading a strike team, I will board the Massive and sabotage the Gunnery Controls before the cannon's manual operating system is restored entirely. They will have to reboot the system after purging it of the link from the Delta Pod, so we have time."

"I can give you a single Assault Pod." Lard-Nar stated as he sat down. "But that means no more than a dozen fighters and the pilots, lightly armed. My armada will draw their fire while you head for the Massive itself. You can board through one of the Snack Pods at their Observation Centers."

"Excellent, without their snacks Red and Purple will lose moral and surrender!" Zim nodded. "I shall take a team! But I need volunteers."

"Count me in father," Grim held up one energy scythe. "For too long I have allowed myself to serve those fools blindly."

"I shall not abandon you either dad," Skullene hopped down to Zim's level.

"Heh, best chance of having a good laugh before death." Hellion straightened up.

"Where my mate goes, so shall I." Shen spoke.

"Do not think I will abandon you so easily, I shall accompany you." Credaran offered a smile..which would have been nice if not for the fact that he had Irken blood staining his teeth.

"HEY!" Suddenly several others burst into the room. "YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME BEHIND ZIM! I WANT REVENGE TOO!"

Invader Tenn, looking much better and dressed in battle armour struggled against the grip of several guards to get over to the group. After Lard-Nar ordered her release, she and Skoodge took their spots in the squad.

"Hola! I come bearing gifts!" Carlos strolled in. "Count Big Head," He held up Db by his INSANELY huge head. "And Lady Fright." He held up Gaz, who was playing her Game Slave.

"Heh, thought saving the universe might help kill some time." The Purple Hared girl shrugged.

"I might not have to save Earth anymore but I am definitely going to save something!" Dib shouted.

"And accompanying them, the lovely Lady Sophie!" Carlos stepped aside for Sophie, who kissed db on the cheek and joined him and his sister as they approached.

"Are you and Kurt coming?" Zim asked.

"Nah, we thought we'd sit this out." Carlos shook his head. "Melissa's feeling whoozy and what kind of gentleman am I if I abandon her now?"

"I'll go with you Zim, I want to personally make sure the Tallest suffer." Tak laced her fingers through Zim's.

"That leaves us at eleven, and we still need pilots." Lard-Nar rubbed his chin.

"Maybe we can help."

The guards who had been holding Tenn back collapsed as they stumbled back into the room. Behind them, surrounded by more unconscious guards stood a pair of Irkens. One of them was short and had light blue eyes, and wore a pair of black boots, tights, and a blue dress. The other, a male, stood at the same height as Zim, and had a slender build ending in broad shoulders. He wore black pants and a blue version of Tak and Zim's shirts. His dark blue eyes scanned the room, their cold gaze softening as he saw Zim.

"Who are you? How did you get here?" Lard-Nar shouted as he drew out a blaster.

"WAIT!" Zim, Apoc, Skullene, and Grim shouted.

"Envon! Paneece!" Skullene rushed forward and hugged her younger sister, who returned the gesture.

"Little sister, it has been so long." Envon embraced Skullene. "When I heard Red and Purple had trapped you on that asinine ruin of a planet I abandoned my post and brought Paneece to try and find you, but I see you came to us."

Here stood the youngest and the oldest of the Legacy Children, the heirs of Miyuki and Splorchamheimer. Envon the Tall, Grimrair the Leader, Skullene the Soldier, Hellion the Killer, and Paneece the Spy. They were five of the most infamous and deadly Irkens to ever exist, and all of them the children of the two greatest Tallest to ever grace the empire.

"Envon, Paneece." Zim strolled through the crowd until he reached them.

"Daddy!" Paneece squealed and hugged her father around the waist-which was the highest she reached. Zim knelt and returned the gesture. "I missed you so much!"

"There now Pan," Zim said soothingly. "I'm back again, and I intend to stay here for a long, long time."

Envon crossed his arms, an amused smile on his face as he watched the family reunion.

"You've grown Envon," Zim stood up and embraced his eldest child.

"You've lost a few feet dad," Envon teased him. "You really need to get back into shape."

"I intend to Envon, because after today, I'll have all of eternity to make up for my centuries of departure." Zim promised.

There the family of Irkens stood. Zim the father, with his own father in robot form GIR on his shoulder, Apoc the uncle, and the five children gathered around them. It was the largest Irken family since the use of Cloning, and now the _only_ Irken family.

"We are back together," Zim smiled. "All of us, and now it is time." He looked towards the canopy. "Time to take back our empire, and destroy the Control Brains, and dethrone Red and Purple; for Miyuki, for my father, for every single being who has suffered because of the War Machine the Irken Empire has become." He wrapped an arm around Tak. "We have our squadron Lard-Nar, give us some pilots and a shuttle."

"It shall be done," Lard-Nar smirked. "_Tallest _Zim."

The Resisty Armada advanced on the Irken fleet, intent on dealing the final blow to the main boy of the Irken Military. Fighters launched, lasers charged, and onboard the Massive, a pair of Irken eyes glared at the Resisty Flag Ship with bitter resentment.

"I should have crushed him under my heel the day he ruined Impending Doom One," Red muttered.

"Coulda, woulda, shoulda," Purple muttered. "Just blast him already!"

Xxx

End of chapter!


	20. Chapter 20

Kill Zim

I do not own Invader Zim, it is property of Jhonen Vasquez.

Grimrair is property of Zim'sMostLoyalServant.

Xxx

"Hm...Kurt, old friend, I need your opinion on something." Carlos said.

Kurt gave him a thumbs up.

"Ah, thank you." Carlos said. "Tell me though, is Melissa almost done?"

Kurt looked at what Melissa was working on and nodded.

"Oh thank god, my arm is falling asleep." Carlos, who was lying posed on a couch...which was somehow set up on the Resisty's Flagship's command deck while Melissa painted him in detail on a canvas. "Back to my original question, comparing me and Melissa to the half dozen or so new couples forming...which is worse?"

Kurt pointed at Carlos, and then to Melissa.

"...I see." Carlos sighed. "Five bucks says Skullene and Shen will have a hell of a time trying to adjust."

Kurt raised an eye brow.

"Well think about it, they're two different species," Carlos explained, looking over at Kurt. "And they'll have a bit of a challenge trying to-"

"Carlos!" Melissa whined. "Stand still!"

"Sorry babe." Carlos resumed his original pose.

Kurt made a 'whipped' motion.

"Laugh it up Kurt; after the Almighty Twigs are gone I'm out for you."

Xxx

"_Ready?_"

"We're ready to launch Captain Lard-Nar." Envon replied, sitting in the main pilot's seat of the Assault Pod. Paneece had the co-pilot's seat while the rest of the team had already strapped themselves in further towards the back of the pod.

"Alright, we'll try and deploy you as close to the Massive as possible." Lard-Nar stated.

"Good luck brother," Apoc, who stood next to Lard-Nar said. "I shall join you if I can, for now my fight is here."

"Don't worry Apoc, I don't intend to let the fun end until you're there." Zim assured his brother.

The Resisty's Capital ship made a run through the Irken blockade, main lasers firing away. Several smaller ships were blown away, but the larger cruisers slowly began to cut the Vortian cruiser off.

"Alright, launch!" Lard-Nar barked as the ship banked to the right, angling the launch bay towards the Massive.

Xxx

Envon hit the thrusters, and the pod shot out of the Vortian Cruiser like a bullet. Accelerating, he aimed right for the Massive's port Snack Pod.

"This is about to get very interesting." Envon announced.

"Define that for me!" Paneece struggled to keep the pod on course through the endless swarms of fighters.

"Well have you ever tried to make Purple share his donuts?" Envon shot back as he manoeuvred around a ship that was drifting down in a decaying orbit after a hole was punched through it.

"No! Why?" Paneece managed to send out a viral package that made a pair of frigates change the angle of their main batteries away from the pod and on each other, blowing one another away.

"Well let's say that really makes a guy's day!" Envon wrenched on the controls. "It gets _that_ interesting!"

"Oh just shut up and-HOLY FLORP!" Paneece squealed as Envon just barely missed getting smashed by having the pod fly through a hole punched through a Vortian ship.

"Envon if you don't fly this thing more carefully I'll come up there and drive myself!" Zim scolded his son.

"Sorry dad," Envon muttered as he made his approach to the Massive's snack pods.

At the last second, several Spittlerunners made to intercept them...only to be blown away when flashes of blue light tore them to pieces.

"Told you we'd be here to help you Agent Mothman." Suddenly a ship much different from the Irken and Vortian ships appeared from the battle.

It was blockier than the others though, shaped a bit like a hexagonal cylinder. On the front, mounted on the bottom were a pair of powerful looking cannons that punched through two more ships. On the side of it were the letters S.E.N under the Swollen Eye Ball network symbol.

"Agent Dark Booty!" Dib cheered.

"Whatever." Gaz drawled, still playing her Game Slave.

"I guess it only took the galaxy's biggest reality show to make them realize I was right!" Dib grinned. "Hey...they can't call me crazy anymore! Me, the obsessive compulsive Dib, not crazy! At last!"

The pod jolted.

"Here it _comes!_" Envon cheered.

"We'll see you after this is over Mothman, good luck!" Agent Dark Booty stated as the SEN ship veered off.

"Wait, here comes what-"

The pod collided with the side of the _Massive's_ snack pod. Sliding along, the hulls soundlessly ripping each other as the pod decelerated.

After the pod finally came to a halt, Zim spoke up. "Am I the only one who thinks Envon should never drive?"

"Agreed!" Several voices chimed.

"Well until the next time, we're going EVA." Envon stood up. "Get suited up."

Xxx

The fighters, clad in Irken EVA armour-Grimrair just had a pressure bubble activated over his head. Securing themselves to the hull with their magnetic grips, they tried to ignore the lasers and explosions that filled the darkness over Venira.

"Alright, the emergency air lock should be...here." Envon came upon a docked escape pod. "Grim, Hell, Skulls, Pan, set the charges."

Zim watched his children apply charges to specific areas of the escape pod. They all moved away.

"Ok...clear!" Envon triggered them, and the escape pod was detached from the air lock. It collided with an Irken Spittlerunner overhead.

"Inside, let's go." Envon hit the manual switch.

After the air lock was depressurized, the group moved through the hatch. Zim shut the hatch behind them, and they waited for the pressure to equalize.

The moment it did, the doors hissed open to show two surprised Irken guards...who were immediately grabbed by Hellion and tugged into the air lock. Zim and Dib squeezed out first, looking around the observation bay. It had a window that showed a room flowing with mountains of candy.

"They reinforced the snack pods more than the rest of the ship, typical." Zim commented as he saw extra braces sticking out of the candy piles.

"This is a Trick or Treater's wet dream." Dib licked his lips as he gazed at the amounts of sugary death.

"Fantasize later, we have to move fast." Skullene pulled him away from the window.

Tenn knelt and placed a projector on the floor. "Alright, planning time."

An image of the Massive appeared. "Here we are in the Port Snack Pod's Observation Bay." A white dot appeared on the image. "Here's the bridge." The tip of the massive glowed white.

"That's several dozen miles." Credaran rumbled.

"Which is why the quickest way to get there is to go through the Servant's Tunnel." A white line appeared in the middle of the Massive, branching out to different levels. "It traverses the entire length of the ship. It also stops at the engine core, the Cleansing Beam's Storage Compartment, and the bridge itself."

"This is a critical design flaw," Shen shook his head. "Vortians would not put that there willingly. If the main armour buckled or an enemy boarded like we have, the entire ship would be open to assault from there."

"We need to neutralize the Cleansing Beam and the Secondary Artillery guns," Zim said. "The weapon's bay is just aft of the Bridge, two levels down." A green dot appeared near the front of the ship.

"I'll handle that," Gaz stretched. "I might as well have some fun with those big guns while I'm at it."

"You'd definitely be a perfect Girl Friend number 7 for Carlos." Sophie smiled.

"Next we need to take Secondary Command offline." Tak added. "If somebody with enough height gets in there they can take total control of the ship's systems from the Bridge."

A red dot appeared near the middle of the ship.

"It's close." Tenn said. "I'll go there."

"I'll go with you." Skoodge volunteered.

"If we take the main power down, the Tallest won't be able to get to their escape shuttle." Envon tapped a hangar close to the bridge, highlighting it gold."I'll go to the power core and shut it down."

"I'll go along," Hellion, now out of his EVA suit and covered in the blood of the two guards sighed. "Maybe sticking my head in the reactor will make me feel better."

"I'll go too; I can shut it down from the control center there." Paneece said.

"The cleansing beam has a manual override," Zim pointed out. "Somebody has to take it off line there when they take control from Gaz."

"We'll take care of that dad." Skullene and Shen stood up.

"I'll help you out with that one." Grimrair volunteered.

"And finally...we need a way off of this ship." Zim concluded.

"There's a hangar three compartments back from the Tallest's personal hangar, we can all go there to regroup after the Tallest are dead." Tak said.

"In the mean time," Dib said. "You, I, Sophie and Zim go for the Tallest."

"Precisely," Zim smirked. "Never thought we'd work together again, eh Dib-Human?"

"Thought I'd die first, Alien-Scum." Dib shot back, the insult made in good humour.

"We all have our goals here," Envon stood up. "We've all dealt with the empire before, many of us worked for it at one point. But this is Ground Zero, just like five hundred years ago."

"Only this time, the Massive won't be making a surprise visit," Zim agreed. "We'll be giving the _Massive_ a surprise of our own. This thing blew away millions of Veniran soldiers and hundreds of ships. It has caused the deaths of countless trillions. It has to die; it's just an instrument of destruction."

"And it will be on the very first planet it ruined where it will rust away after we blow it from the stars." Credaran growled.

"So let's not waste time with the big speech," Gaz deadpanned.

"...good idea!" Zim declared, letting Minimoose and GIR out of the containment units he had been carrying with him. "Let's go!"

The strike team split up.

Xxx

"Man, it was all so cool until Zim went and turned it into a war." One Irken guard said to his partner as they patrolled a corridor.

"Yeah...but you have to admit that moose sure made it worth it!" The second guard.

"Yeah! _The lasers came out of its eyes._" The first guard laughed a bit. "I love that moose."

"Squeak!"

"Huh?" They both turned in time to see Minimoose float down behind him.

"Hey, it's the moose!" The second guard grinned. "Hi moosey!"

"Squeak?"

"We're big fans!" The first guard nodded.

"Squeak...?...Squeak!" Minimoose replied, sounding a little proud there.

"Is there anything we can do for you Mr Moose?" The second guard asked.

"Squeak!"

"Surrender or suffer a painful death?...cool!" The First guard nodded. "Awesome, we surrender!"

"Squeak?" Surprised, Minimoose moved to a closet door. "Squeak!"

"Okay Mr Moose!" They dropped their weapons and went inside the closet, locking the door behind them.

Minimoose just stared at the door as Dib and Sophie crept out of their hiding places, while Zim and Tak dropped down from the ceiling where their spider legs had been holding them up.

"Irkens sure like mooses." Sophie said.

"Best not to ask why, it never makes any sense." Dib shook his head. "But then again...it's a moose, what's not to like?"

"Good point."

The team stopped as they heard marching up ahead.

"Hide!" Zim grabbed Tak and pulled her up into a vent above them.

Dib and Sophie ducked around a corner. Dib looked down at the Stealth Suit he had thought to don after Apoc offered it to him. It was much better than his old one, as it actually worked. Better, it had a sort of cloak attachment that allowed him to hide others within it. Attaching the cloak to his neck, he threw it around Sophie, pulling her close and slipped the mask part on over his head. They waited until a dozen elite guards stomped by on patrol.

They stood up after a minute, and looked at the vent. Dib took his mask off and stuffed the cloak into his bag. "Zim, Tak, are you there?"

"Yeah, just stuck-agh! Foot!" Zim groaned. "Watch your foot Tak!"

"Sorry!" Suddenly the vent collapsed and the two Irkens fell out of it. Zim landed on his back with Tak on top of him.

"Ow...well at least you broke my fall." Tak said.

"You're welcome." Zim groaned. "Ow...squeedlyspooch."

"Oh come on Big Hero, get up, don't let a few aches and pains stop you." Tak rolled her eyes, and kissed him on the lips. His eyes shot open and he leaped to his feet. "If we survive I'll give you a lot more than a peck." She gave him a rather seductive smile.

"To hell with dying then, I'm gonna live!" Zim pumped one fist into his other hand's palm. "Let's get a move on!"

"Now that's more like the Zim I hated." Dib stated as the team moved on towards the Bridge.

Xxx

Skullene knelt behind a stack of crates. "I'm in position."

"I'm almost ready," Shen whispered.

The Sweeper Cannon was stored in a room the size of four foot ball fields. It was so big it could have been a small village on its own. The upper floors had cat walks lining the room's walls or reaching out to let the mechanics work on the cannon.

Shen came out from a maintenance hatch that led from the Servant's Tunnel to the third floor of the room. "I'm in position." He assembled his new, much more accurate Vortian sniper rifle.

"I'm ready on my end," Grim said. "Awaiting signal."

"Alright...now!" Skullene vaulted over the crates, landing behind three guards.

She snapped the middle guard's neck before he could react. Then as the one on the right spun, trying to bring up his rifle Skullene leaned back a bit and brought her right foot up, slamming it into the barrel of the rifle and knocking it from his hands. Then she lunged forward, head butting the guard.

As the third guard unholstered his pistol, she grasped the stunned Irken by the shoulders and swung him around, allowing him to take three quick shots to his PAK. As he went limp in her hands, Skullene shoved him forward into the third guard, who had little time to react before Shen aligned the tip of his rifle with the Irken's skull.

_Psew!_ The bullet wasn't heard in the loud chaos of the giant room. It passed through the Irken's head, and Skullene was clear to move.

Grimrair, on the other side of the room was tasked with making a louder entry. He held up both of his sickles, activating their energy blades and lunged through the door. Twisting, he cut through the necks of the guards flanking the entrance. In the blink of an eye he leaped onto a low cat walk and cut down the sentry who managed to spot him. Then he spun as a technician tried to swing a wrench at him from behind.

Catching the weapon on the pole of his right sickle, Grim moved his arm in a counter clockwise motion, so when the wrench and sickle came back up the technician let go when his hand was touched by the energy blade of the sickle. Grim's other sickle cut through his right shoulder and came out his left thigh.

But above Grimrair, a rather muscular Irken guard looked down. Eyes narrowing as he recognized one of the traitors to the empire, the Irken leaped down and landed on the catwalk.

Grim spun, startled by the newcomer. The large Irken grabbed his left wrist as he brought it around to cut into him, and delivered a punch to Grim's face with his free hand. Losing one sickler, Grim went with the blow, leaning back and snapping his left leg up, snap kicking the large Irken in the chest with the metal heel of his boot.

The action earned Grim his freedom. Rolling backwards over his right shoulder, he was on his feet barely a split second later as the large Irken snarled and lunged at him.

Shen spotted the fight and adjusted his sniper rifle to target the large Irken. He fired once, but the concentrated plasma hit the thicker armour on the Irken's back and dissipated, not even fazing the guard. Grim began to swing his one sickle at extreme speeds, never stopping between attacks. His attacks soon became a full blown river of slashes and gouging into the Irken's armour, and soon flesh.

Grim felt a trickle of sweat form as he clenched his teeth and spilled more blood before the guard finally caught his sickle arm and swung Grim around. He lost his grip on his sickle as he flew over the edge. Landing on the floor, many technicians moving away from him as though he had a plague, Grim began to get up as the large Irken landed.

Smirking, the Irken began to unbuckle the now slightly torn officer's coat he wore with his armour. But suddenly the coat was pulled taut, and the Irken's arms were forced back a bit. Shen, who had abandoned his sniper position, was responsible for this. "Hit him now!"

Grim leaped up, delivering a quick right hook across the Irken's face. Then he grasped the Irken's shoulders, hoisted himself up and head butted the guard in the face. Snarling, the guard ripped the coat and twisted, sending both Shen and Grim to the floor. Shen brought up one foot and slammed it into the back of the guard's knee. Flipping onto his feet, he lunged and wrapped one arm around the guard's neck.

Grim kneed the guard in the stomach as soon as he was close enough. And then he began to rain down blows on the guard's face again and again. The guard shook Shen off and grabbed Grim by the poncho. He tugged-

_Rip!_

Grim froze as the he heard the material rip.

He remembered Miyuki giving it to him after he passed training.

He remembered wearing it whenever she was around. He remembered how Skullene and Paneece-as Smeets would say it made him look good. He remembered every mission he had gone on. Not even fire or blades had caused it damage, but now...this piece of shit had just damaged the one thing he had left of his mother!

With a roar of pure, relentless fury Grim delivered a punch so hard that when it hit the guard's eye it caused it to pop and allowed Grim to turn his brains into mush. The hand on his poncho went slack.

Snarling, he tossed the corpse aside. He then looked at where the guard had grabbed the poncho, inspecting the damage...

And found the guard had instead grabbed a medical bandage strip that had been hanging out of its assigned pocket. The material had ripped.

Twitching, Grim sighed and hugged the Poncho, thankful that his mother's gift had not been ruined.

"Damn, remind me not to make you that mad." Shen slowly got up. "And look out!"

Grim spun and side stepped a jab from a knife. A soldier-not a regular guard but an actual Elite Soldier sneered at him, circling him. A guard next to him was wielding a combat staff that both rebels recognized. It was a Veniran design, made so that the body of the staff was more like a very long sheath for a short sword. It could be used as two weapons at once for both defence and offense.

Shen stepped up next to Grim. "Let's take them!"

"Skullene, tell me you're having better luck on your end sister." Grim whispered.

Up in the control booth, Skullene ignored the four unconscious Irkens as she went to work. "I'm uploading the virus now." She slid in a disc containing a cyber attack program Paneece had designed. "And...There! Okay, just keep this loading for five minutes and we're good!"

"Wonderful!" Shen shouted as he dodged swings and jabs from the Staff wielding Elite. He gripped the pole of the staff, managing to grab what he assumed was the hilt end. His thumb brushed over something as he and the Irken struggled for it.

_Click-SHING!_

A short, thin bladed sword slid out of the staff. Shen immediately went on the offensive with swings and jabs.

Meanwhile, Grim and the knife user were locked in constant motion. Their arms moved in a flurry. Grimrair pushed aside the Irken's arms to keep the blade in his hand away from him. The Knife wielder kept jabbing and swinging in an attempt to cut into Grim's flesh. The Irken finally made a slip up.

He jabbed forward with his right arm. Grim side stepped to the left, gripped his wrist with his right hand. He jammed his left elbow into the guard's face, and then swung his right knee up into his gut. The guard stumbled back, and swung a wild haymaker in desperation. Grim ducked it, and kicked out with his right hand, slamming into the side of the guard's left knee, and repeated this action using his left foot to the side of the guard's right knee. The Irken was off balance now, so Grim went in for the kill.

The Staff welder saw his partner's distress and manoeuvred his fight with Shen over so that he could try to assist. Jabbing Shen in the stomach to her him back, he spun and raised his staff over his head. Grim twisted so his right side was to the staff wielding, back fisted the Irken right in the face, and then twisted so his front was to the dazed knife wielder. A right jab to the face, followed by a left jab, and then Grim leaped up a bit, raising his right arm to shoulder level, and slammed his fist into the top of the guard's head.

He went down like a rag doll. And Shen finished the staff wielder off by cutting off his right hand and then slamming the hilt of his new sword across his face.

With their enemies neutralized, Shen and Grim regrouped with Skullene up in the control booth as the virus finished transferring.

"Alright, the Sweeper Cannon is disabled." Skullene nodded.

"Our objective is done then." Grim said.

"I say we head for the bridge instead of for the rendezvous point." Shen protested. "We should not abandon the others."

"Point taken, let's go!" Skullene agreed.

Xxx

Gaz whistled 'If you're Happy and You Know It' to pass the time as she walked through empty corridors, following maps on the walls and arrows.

So far she had no encountered a single enemy as of yet.

She yawned. "Boring."

Then she finally reached the door. It slid open, and four Irken guards aimed their rifles at her.

She opened one eye, and yawned once more. "Okay come on let's see what you got...whatever."

They fired...

And she doomed them.

Thirty seconds and after killing ten workers, Gaz sat in the main chair, her shadow tentacles retracting into her arms.

"Okay...time for a new video game." She took control of the Massive's offensive arsenal.

Xxx

Tenn fired her pistol three times as she and Skoodge rushed around the next corner.

"Are we almost there?" Skoodge asked as he back pedalled, firing his rifle on full automatic to keep their pursuers pinned down.

"Almost! Just one more door!" Tenn made a left and fired her pistol once into the single guard she met.

They stopped at the sealed doors. The Secondary Command was meant to be accessed by somebody much Taller than Tenn or Skoodge, so it would require some work to open the doors when the scanner refused them.

"I'll hold them off, get the door!" Skoodge declared, revealing all four of his spider legs. "RAWR!" He rushed at the pursuing guards. They scrambled back, but the large Irken slammed into them, lasers blazing.

Using her comrade's distraction, Tenn managed to hack the doors, which opened just a bit. She braced her spider legs between them and began to push them further apart. Straining, Tenn was exposed to the guard who fired at her from behind. The laser took off on spider leg as she began to squeeze through the door.

Left pinned between the door with her three legs struggling to keep them separated, Tenn whimpered as she felt the pressure on her body growing. She saw the guard snicker as he raised his gun.

"Crushed Defect, yummy." He sneered...before a powerful fist slammed into him and sent him into the wall next to him. Skoodge then stomped on him twice before running to Tenn's aid.

He braced his spider legs between the doors and helped her push them back apart. They both moved through, and Skoodge let the security doors close behind him.

"Close one!" Skoodge said.

"Yeah, but let's worry about the doors later, we have to disable this room." Tenn took out several grenades and handed some to Skoodge.

"Agreed!"

They began to toss grenades out by the handful, and explosions engulfed most of the room. They stopped when the last explosive was detonated, and cheered as they saw the damage they had done to the Auxiliary Control Center.

"Tenn to Team, Auxiliary Control is out!" Tenn said.

"_Good work. Skullene, Grim and Shen are on their way to reinforce Zim's team at the bridge ,but they're meeting heavy resistance._" Envon replied.

"How about you? How far are you from the core?"

Xxx

"Oh trust me, we're so close I could reach out and lose an arm and fry the rest of my body!" Envon, who was standing on a safety catwalk just outside of the reach of the shielding around the core shouted. Inside the shield, the oxygen was ionized, causing the interior of the shield to take on a blue tinge from the radiation. The tall Irken was exchanging fire with a pair of Irken guards who had him surrounded.

"Hey Pan, please tell me you are close to being done." Envon almost begged as he knelt, checking his overheated pistol.

"Almost En!" Paneece, who stood on a platform high above tapping in commands called back to him. "Just give me a few minutes and we'll be set!"

"I think I have about-whoa!" Envon gripped the railing as the guards changed their tactic, aiming at the joints connecting Envon's section of the catwalk to the walls. The catwalk creaked and began to bend. "Florp!"

They fired again, but before the Catwalk could even begin to fall, Hellion dropped out of nowhere, grabbed his older brother, and leaped with amazing strength off of it and landed behind one guard. Dropping Envon, Hellion grabbed the guard, who screamed as Hellion shoved his face into the Radiation Shield. As his face slowly melted away, Hellion pulled him back. "Ooh...extra crispy!"

"Don't eat that!" Envon snapped, throwing the dead Irken into the shielding. "You might be annoying but I won't let you incinerate your bowels!"

"Wait...that would have killed me...?" Hellion growled. "Why the _florp_ did you stop me?"

"Love you too bro," Envon snarled before he shoved Hellion aside and snap kicked a guard rushing up behind him right in the groin. The Admiral then grabbed the next guard to come near him by the head, slam his head into the wall on his left ,and then sent him tumbling over the railing on his right, sending him on a one way fall into the reactor.

Hellion sighed, and almost casually twirled, one hand flicked, and then his claws opened up the throat of the second guard who had tried to send Envon tumbling to his doom. The Irken had leaped over to the section of cat walk the two brothers were fighting on.

Standing back to back as more guards piled in, the two Irkens quickly went to work. Not having to draw weapons, Envon delivered a quick right hook across the face of the first guard and then snap kicked him in the chest with his right foot, leaning back into Hellion who grabbed his arm and spun them around so they switched in time for Envon to bring his left foot up in a reverse roundhouse kick that entirely knocked the next guard off of the cat walk while Hellion swung his hand and cut open a guard's throat.

Up above, Paneece tapped away at the controls. A guard snuck up behind her, he raised his knife in one hand...and one of her PAK legs shot out without her even looking and gutted him. She kept working.

Finally, the reactor began to dim.

"Alright, power output is decreasing! The radiation shield has its own generator so we should be safe!" Paneece shouted.

"Good! Let's get a move on!" Envon bent to the left and brought his right leg up, his knee colliding with the jaw of the next guard who made the mistake of being too close. "Hell, I need a lift!"

Hellion cupped his hands together, and Envon set one foot on them. Hellion launched his older brother up to Paneece's level. Then with another example of amazing strength, Hellion leaped up and landed with a single bound next to his siblings.

"Envon here, reactor is down!" Envon informed the other teams. "Dad, we'll link up with you at the bridge."

Xxx

"Excellent work son!" Zim brought both hands down on the head of the Invader who made the foolish choice to intercept him. Bringing his left knee up and snapping the Invader's head back by hitting him in the chin, Zim relaxed as the last opponent fell. "We're closing in on the bridge."

"How is Gaz doing? She won't answer her radio!" Dib cried. "Gaz! _Gaz!_"

Xxx

Beep.

"_Target destroyed."_

"Boring," Gaz yawned as she focused the Massive's weapons on the surrounding Irken ships.

Beep.

"_Target destroy-"_

Beep.

"_Target dest-"_

Beep.

"_Target-"_

Beep.

"_Tar-"_

Beep!

Gaz yawned. "This game blows."

Xxx

"Left hand." Grimrair said.

"No, it's the right hand," Shen replied. "Skullene likes it better, she said so and it's where I always come in from."

"No, it's the left and I have a list of officers willing to agree...if they're still alive."

"Were these officers women?"

"Most of them." Grim grumbled.

The guard who came upon them listened in, creeping closer.

"The left hand has never failed me." Grim held up his left hand for emphasis. "I use it for my main sickle related attacks, shooting, and other things."

"Like jerking off?" Shen challenged him. "Right hand, showed Skullene the best time of her life last night."

"Oh please don't give me images of my sister letting a Vortian use his right hand on her in the sack." Grim groaned. "I still say left hand is better for this."

"Oh really? Hey, buddy!" Shen shouted. "You, behind the crate!"

The fearful guard looked at them, brandishing his gun.

"Come over here, we need your opinion!"

Puffing his chest out, he marched over, keeping his gun locked on them.

"Yeah, we were having a game of Skotalarn Poker when-" Suddenly Shen's fist shot out and punched the poor guard in the face, promptly knocking him out.

"Aw crap," Grim sighed. "You were right; right hand would knock him out."

"Told you so!" Shen said before Skullene walked past them...leaving a dozen dead or unconscious Irkens behind her.

"...Your sister is hot, but she can be downright scary." Shen whispered.

"She's your mate," Grim crossed his arms.

"Damn straight," Shen sighed. "And all the others were right when they said it."

"Said what?"

"...I'd tap that." Shen's grin became...suggestive. "Gladly, all day, and all night."

THWACK!

"That's my sister you're talking about, goat boy." Grim growled, marching off after Skullene.

"Heh...worth it."

Xxx

TSEW!

The final guard went down.

Tak proceeded into the hallway outside the bridge. In one hand she held a pistol, in the other she balanced an SMG style weapon. Pointing one in either direction, she said. "Clear!"

The rest of Zim's team surged forward and stopped at the doors.

"This is it." Zim whispered. "No escape for them."

"And little chance of escape for us." Dib added.

"Don't be so pessimistic," Sophie whispered.

"Old habit," Dib shrugged.

"Tak," Zim holstered his gun and turned to her.

"Zim wait," Tak held up a hand.

'Oh here comes the mushy 'if we die' crap.' Dib thought.

"Zim...if we die-"

"We won't," Zim smirked, confident.

"But if we do-"

"Tak," Zim cut her off. "...Stop talking."

And then he used his PAK legs to pull her close, sealing her lips with a kiss.

Tak began to shiver, her hands grasping Zim's upper arms, but then slid up and wrapped around his neck. She felt her back press against the metal wall behind her, Zim gently rubbed her back right below where her PAK connected with one hand, and the other gently grasped the back of her head.

He parted her lips and slid his tongue in, and she gasped lightly, feeling the component of her Squeedlyspooch that mimicked the average heart began to pulse louder and faster. Her legs shook a bit, and she felt her body temperature rise.

The human and the Were-Alien chose to give the aliens their few minutes in heaven.

"Well, figures as much," Dib sighed. "I find a girl I like and then...this all goes on."

"I have the same luck," Sophie admitted. "You could say me turning into aliens is a turn off for boys."

"Really? I think it's cool." Dib added after a moment. "And in those other forms...you still look cute."

Sophie smiled. "Aw come here you big headed lover."

"My head's not-oh forget it." Dib said as she pressed herself up against him. He placed both hands on her hips and held her close as they pressed their lips together. Tilting her head so they could deepen the kiss, Sophie's eyes closed into near slits as she felt Dib's hands pass over a spot that she found rather sensitive to touch-possibly a Were Alien trait, either way it made her purr like a cat.

The Dib Bashing at this point was officially OVER! Yes, yes, hold as the galaxy stops spinning for a second...

And now we're right back to it!

Zim and Tak paused and looked at the second couple.

"Well this is unexpected." Tak said.

"Yeah, Dib's getting luck...y?" Zim's eyes widened as a tentacle came from Sophie's sleeve and touched his head.

"Uh...hey Carlos, you have got to see this." Zim opened a screen with his PAK's communicator.

"What's so bad that a human has to- whoa." Carlos said as hs face appeared on the screen. "Uh...get a room guys."

Sophie and Dib fell over, and the Were-Alien's transformation continued.

"Oh! _That's not right!_" Carlos shouted. "Ugh!"

Kurt stuck his head into view. Hs eyes widened and he...actually spoke.

"Gross." He then vanished from view.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Carlos spun. "Who said that?"

Suddenly Carlos was replaced with Gaz.

"Hey Zim, your stupid controls are boring-" She paused. "...that's something that has been burned into my mind forever more."

"It's about to get worse." Zim said.

Tak took out a camera and snapped a picture as the situation 'got worse'.

Xxx

Carlos paused. "Hm...I sense...a disturbance...in the...uh...what was it again?"

Kurt looked at him, raising one eye brow. He made one hand sign.

"Carlos! Oh right," Carlos cleared his throat.

Lard-Nar looked at him. "He forgot his own...name?"

"I sense...a disturbance...in the Carlos!" Carlos said.

"Lard-Nar, I'm deploying with our rescue craft to the Massive." Apoc announced, standing up. "I'll be ready to evacuate the Assault Team when they are done."

"What's left to the enemy fleet has regrouped, and they've recalled their main battle fleets." Lard-Nar warned him. "Envon's fleet, the 64th Battle Fleet and elements of the 7th and 19th are on the way."

The 64th Battle Fleet was credited as the second greatest Irken Fleet in the Armada. Envon himself commanded the thousands of ships and alongside his part rime rival General Grash commanded the four or five million soldiers the fleet carried. Truth is Envon and Grash had whipped them into the best shape possible, forming perhaps the only army in the empire that was not utterly reliant on giant mechs, massive ships and overwhelming numbers. If they were on the way to rescue the Massive and the rest of the Main Armada, then no doubt the truly greatest soldiers in the empire accompanied it's equally greatest fleet.

"In that case," Apoc began to walk away. "We'd better hurry."

Xxx

Tallest Red finished donning his battle armour and strapped his weapons into place. Next to him, Tallest Purple was pacing nervously, clad in a similar set of battle armour.

The Tallest Armour allowed them to walk and fight without difficulty. Each Tallest had at one point been given a set, but some never used it. Up to this point Red had only used his armour once before, when appearing to congratulate the takeover of Vort. He had hoped he would never have to actually use it again since it meant he'd actually need to _fight._

Purple was still trying to get used to his armour. "I don't like this!"

"Well it's this or we die." Red stated calmly, strapping a small cannon to his right gauntlet and hooking it up to the power supply on his back.

"Oh okay," Purple pouted.

"Status on those reinforcements?" Red demanded of a drone as the bridge shook again.

"The 64th is eight minutes off!" The drone replied. "The 7th and 19th fleets are will arrive in three."

"Perfect!" Red sneered. "These rebels will face the full wrath of the Irken Empire now!"

"No, they'll see the rising of a new one."

BOOM!

A vent cover was blown off, and Zim leaped down, followed by Tak. Zim rolled as he landed ,coming up on one knee and firing his rifle at the nearest guard while Tak landed behind him, firing her two weapons at the guards on the far side of the bridge. They began to slowly rotate in a clockwise fashion as the guards returned fire.

The two Invaders began to expertly pick off the Elite guards one by one. A shot to the head or four or five to the chest were more than enough.

The doors hissed open, and Db and Sophie came in. Sophie was took the form of an Aenoran, which was essentially an anthromorphic wolf/ape like creature. She howled and snatched two guards up, banged their heads together, and threw them at where Red and Purple were cowering behind their chairs.

The two guards bounced off the chairs, already unconscious.

Zim's rifle sparked as it overheated, so he tossed it at a pair of guards he was facing and whipped out a pistol. Two shots later the rifle exploded as the plasma from Zim's pistol compromised its energy cell. IT took the two guards with it, and Zim focused on a guard on the upper part of the bridge, picking him off with two shots.

Tak's SMG suddenly clicked. Tossing it aside, she raised her arm and used her PAK to send a mental command to the armour she wore. Suddenly a gun like device attached to her gauntlet unfolded and began to fire projectile ammunition, depleted uranium tipped shells at a rate of once per every second and a half. Each shot ripped through a guard or blew dents and holes into the bridge.

She only had a limited amount she could carry in the gun's storage compartment though, so after the fifteenth the back section of the wrist mounted gun popped off, and she took a similar one from her breast plate and slammed it home.

Dib focused on his powers, calling them to the surface, and unleashed a stream of what looked like lightning that vaporized two guards and caused a console to explode. The drones fled past the lightning shooting boy and out into the safety of the hallways as he, Sophie, Tak and Zim continued to tear apart the bridge.

Finally, the last guard fell, and the two Irken Invaders stood before the Tallest. Purple was fumbling with a pistol and raised it shakily.

TSEW! The first shot hit the floor next to Tak, who smirked at the Tallest.

TSEW! The next shot didn't even go near them. The two walked right towards Purple while Red backed away.

"S-st-stay back!" Purple blurted out.

TSEW!

Zim raised his personal shield, which deflected the laser. "What's wrong? Scared of me? No big surprise there, you always were scared I'd be the death of you."

"Stay away from me you freak!" Purple shrieked and fired three more times, one shot bouncing off Zim's shield.

"Ooh, good shot! That would have got me in the eyes!" Zim mocked him.

Suddenly his energy blade hissed to life.

FZOOM!

TSS!

SPLAT!

Purple screamed as his arms were severed, the wounds cauterized by Zim's energy blade.

"Pur!" Red rushed forward, firing his arm mounted cannon.

Tak and Zim leaped back as the energy slammed into the floor in front of them. Zim retracted his energy blade and extended his PAK legs.

"I'll take Red," Zim said calmly. "I want it to be him and me only."

Tak nodded. "Go get him."

She stepped back as Red set his partner on his chair. Whimpering, Purple stared tearfully at his severed limbs.

"Stay here Pur," Red growled. "I'll handle this little defective."

Red faced Zim. "I should have done this a long, long time ago Zim."

"I should have kept up my streak and killed you two on Irk and Devastis." Zim replied. "But then again we can't all get what we want, can we?"

"Not without a little hard work," Red suddenly raised his arm mounted gun and fired.

Zim leaped up to the ceiling and latched on with his PAK legs. "Too slow!" He launched himself at Red, slamming into Red and making his next shot hit the ceiling. They rolled, and ended with Red kicking Zim in the chest to make him get off of the Tallest.

They both got on their feet, and Zim lunged. Too close to use his gun, Red swung a rather clumsy swing at Zim, who side stepped it and slammed his right heel into Red's right side below his ribs where his armour plating was thinner. Red brought out his spider legs and swung one of his left legs down, twisting at the hips to put more force into the attack. Zim leaned to the right, moving his waist to the left, and felt the tip almost rip through his armour.

A pair of blades popped out of Red's left gauntlet and he swung it at Zim's head. Zim ducked aside, but got a pair of cuts on the side of his head. When Red swung again in a back handed fashion, Zim leaned back out of the way. When Red came for the third swing, Zim grabbed the arm and used it as leverage to leap up, twisted, and slammed his left knee into Red's head.

Following up on his successful strike, Zim brought out all four of his PAK legs again and jammed them into Red, piercing his armour. Red groaned in pain and tried to tug the spider legs out, but then Zim triggered his Disruptors.

Red's eyes widened as he felt heat building up. "I-I-"

"Sh." Zim put a finger to his lips. "You're annoying when you talk. Makes me wanna..."

TSEW!

SPLAT!

"Explode." Zim said as he ripped open Red's upper body.

Red stumbled back, gasping as his Squeedlyspooch was reduced to mush. He looked at Zim one last time, looking somewhat shocked and...frightened even.

"You...you..."

"Did what I promised I would five hundred years ago," Zim said. "I'm ending the Control Brains..and their puppets."

TSEW!

He then blew Red into pieces with another Disruptor blast.

Purple shrieked. "_Red! No!_" He fell off of the chair and to his knees next to the body of his friend. "Red! Buddy! No-no..." He shed tears as he bent down and hugged his friend's body as best he could without hands.

Zim looked at the sight for several moments before he spoke. "Purple...it had to be done." He retracted his Disruptor Legs. "Now surrender," He added the last word after a moment. "_Please._"

A plea.

Purple sniffed. "Just-just take it all. I don't care. Red-he was-he-my only friend!" He bawled.

"Pur," A soft female voice said as several others filled the bridge.

Purple looked up as Skullene placed a hand on his shoulder. "This ship is dying Pur. This fighting can all end here. Just tell them to surrender."

Pur looked up at her, his amethyst eyes brimming with tears. "I...yes...I'll do it...but I'm not leaving Red here. Not like this. Please?"

Skullene nodded. "He may have been our enemy, but even he deserves a proper burial."

But a moment later, hundreds of ships flashed into existence. Irken ships! Viral Tanks accompanied by squadrons of Spittle Runners, trios of Ring Cutter gunnery ships, legions of Shuuvers, and even several battlegroups' worth of Kavner class raider ships. They were all bearing down on the Resisty/Veniran fleet, which had lost nearly thirty percent of its battleships.

At the head of this war machine was a Levask Battle Cruiser. Nearly a third the size of the Massive, it was more angular than rounded and bulky like most Irken ships. It was like an Isosceles Triangle with two engines on the back, one near the tips of the back, and between them was a single straight vertical line shaped segment several kilometres tall that bent forwards, giving the Levask a bit of a fork shape. The tips above and below the main body were tipped with powerful cannons, and already dozens of fighters poured out of the hangar on the bottom of it.

"Oh no," Zim whispered. "The reinforcements, they're here!"

Xxx

"Hostile contacts incoming!" Ixane shouted. "Approximately four hundred-thirty-three Irken ships!"

"Status on the Assault Team?" Lard-Nar remained calm.

"I've got contact with Apoc." Ixane replied.

"Apoc, what is going on over there?"

"_The assault team has killed Red and captured Purple!"_ Apoc shouted. _"Gather your ships behind the Massive. We have control of the secondary guns and we will provide cover for your fleet."_

"You heard him! All ships form up behind the enemy flag ship!" Lard-Nar barked. "Fighter pickets, keep boarding craft off of us, form up on your respective ships! Viral Tanks and Battle cruisers first!"

The hundred or so remaining Resisty ships and the forty or fifty Veniran controlled ships were quick to react to this command.

The combined ships from the 7th and 19th fleets tried to move around their Tallests' flagship, but within seconds three were blown from the sky and four more had to fall back out of firing range.

Xxx

Onboard the Levask, Admiral Sket walked onto the command deck.

Sket, like Envon was one of the actually feared Tallers in the empire. He was the precise same height as Envon, but he had a reputation-like Envon's rival General Grash for being more...ruthless. Except where Grash would break through his enemy's armour, thirsty for blood, Sket would slide a dagger between the plates and end it as quickly as possible, cold and calculating.

His eyes were a deep green that matched the uniform shirt he wore. Arms crossed ,he sat in the commander's chair after the ship's Captain vacated it for him. "Care to tell me why our own capital ship is firing on us?"

"We're getting scattered signals from the Main Armada's surviving ships sir." A drone stood up, saluting the Admiral. "Earlier the Cleansing Beam had been controlled into refocusing on friendly vessels, and now all armaments are targeting Irken ships. They believe the Massive has been boarded and taken over."

"Boarded? It has tens of thousands of soldiers onboard and it's impossible to sneak around!" Sket's eyes narrowed.

"Uh...if I may sir, before I was transferred to this ship...Tallest Purple assigned most of the infantry personnel to guarding the storage tanks where his soda was kept, or to patrolling the snack pod access corridors. If that is still the case, only ten percent of the onboard compliment would be patrolling the rest of the ship-and while sticking to standard squadron sized patrols they would be spread thin."

"Hm...indeed," Sket nodded, appreciating having a crew that knew when and when not to speak. "Then the Massive is to be declared a hostile ship. Attempt to deploy boarding craft to retake it, or we blow it out of the stars."

"That may not be easy sir." Another drone said. "The primary reactor-the one that powers the engines and cleansing beam is down, but the two secondary reactors are more than enough to allow it to maintain orbital position and operate weaponry and shielding. We may still be able to retake it, but I would advise we approach it more like...an orbital defence station rather than an enemy capital ship."

"Ah...excellent idea," Sket nodded. "Instruct boarding craft to disperse with the standard formations recommended for this scenario. Tell them to use manoeuvres fit for Orbital Base Assault scenarios, treat it like...an invasion." He smirked, leaning back in his chair. "How long is it until my colleague Envon arrives with his fleet?"

"Five minutes sir but...according to their ranking officer, Admiral Envon is not present."

"Hm, curious, but that can be solved later," Sket waved one hand dismissively. "Let us crush these rebels! Deploy boarding craft and forward fighter squadrons!"

Several dozen smaller, quicker ships broke off from the fleet, heading for the Massive.

"If you cannot board the Massive, target it's defensive guns and destroy them. We can afford to temporarily cripple it if it means victory in this battle." Sket said to the Ship Commanders in the Boarding Craft. "If we disarm its main guns the rebel fleet will be defenceless."

Xxx

"They're coming." Credaran said.

"Call them off!" Dib demanded, looking at Purple.

"It won't be any use; Admiral Sket is in charge of the 7th Fleet." Envon shook his head. "He is by the book unlike most officers. Most would surrender to save Purple, but he would follow protocol and accept a minor punishment from the Control Brains later on the technicality that would follow."

"What?" Shen looked at the former Admiral.

"Protocol dictates that in the event of a high stakes battle such as this, when a Taller or Tallest is captured...no deals, no bargains. If you cannot reclaim them by force, then to hell with them." Envon explained. "And he follows every rule to the letter. On the other hand it has made him an opponent you can respect rather than despise, but that's just my opinion."

"So we just blast him with the Massive's guns!" Dib said. "We have control, we can blow half of his fleet away in minutes."

"But he's not sending his fleet forward in a blind charge." Grimrair pointed on the radar screen. "Sixty two boarding craft and raider ships and accompanying fighter squadrons."

"They'll take the Massive down with minimal casualties." Shen's eyes widened in realizaton.

"And our fleet will be exposed." Zim concluded.

"...I know I'm usually the last to say this," Hellion stood up. "But I have a plan."

"No." Paneece said immediately.

"Sister-"

"No Hellion!" Paneece glared at him.

"We need all the ideas we can get," Grim said gently. "Might as well hear him out."

"Well, this ship still has power to fight, yes?"

"Yes." Envon nodded.

"But we can't move because the shields and weapons need both secondary reactors to work, yes?"

"Yes." Grimrair replied.

"But reactor output can be manipulated from here, yes?"

"Yeah!" Dib nodded, getting where Hellion was going with this.

"And supposed we sacrificed some power from the shields to allow us to move?"

"And then take the fight to his fleet?" Tenn guessed.

"With no shielding though." Skoodge pointed out.

"But this ship is going to go down soon anyways." Skullene said.

"So if we take it on a suicide run and have it blow away most of Sket's fleet we can-" Shen started.

"We get the idea already; you all don't need to say each part of it once at a time." Gaz sighed. "Just drive and let me do the shooting and we'll have them out of our hair."

"Paneece!" Zim shouted. "Reactor output, reroute from shielding and non-essential systems to engines and hull polerization!"

"Got it dad!" Paneece spun a corpse out of its chair and took its place, punching in commands.

"Gaz-Human, take the gunnery station!" Zim pointed to a set of seats that controlled the guns. "Envon, Grimrair, help her coordinate with the turrets!" He turned to the rest of the group. "The rest of you get to the hangar and keep our escape ship safe! Apoc will be landing any second now and the security teams will be converging to stop us from leaving!"

"Don't worry dad," Skullene nodded. "We didn't come this far to die!"

"Uh...what should I do?" Purple asked.

"...You're a VIP, so you go with them and you'll be taken from this ship." Zim said firmly. "After this, if we win, you will declare an empire wide surrender to me and step down as Tallest!"

"Yes sir," Purple mumbled, no longer having the spirit to defy any orders.

Skullene pulled Purple up, and Hellion tugged him along.

"I'm not going anywhere Zim." Tak said firmly, standing next to him.

"I'd never try to order you around Tak," Zim said as Paneece turned to face them.

"Dad, the power's been rerouted from shields to engines, and I've got us at 60 percent speed."

"Excellent Paneece," Zim nodded. "You can go with the others to the hangar."

"Alright," She stood up. "But daddy..." She rushed forward and hugged him, pressing her face into his stomach as she stood on her toes. "Please, don't make us wait another five hundred years."

Zim's gaze softened and he knelt to her level, hugging his daughter tightly. "Don't worry about me Pan, I'm not leaving you children alone again."

"Thanks," Paneece gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and released him. "Don't be late!" She rushed off with the others who were leaving the bridge.

Zim stood up, one hand on where Paneece had kissed him. He smiled, savouring the moment. He then sat in Red's empty chair-a place that he had dreamed of being during his life as Zim the Defective, Zim the Idiot, Zim the Exile. Now he was Zim, the new Tallest of the Irken Empire...the old Tallest actually, come back to reclaim his throne and finish his vengeance against the Control Brains.

"Lock forward weapons! Deploy Seeker Drones!" Zim shouted. "Blow those ships out of my air space!"

Gaz grumbled something about how Zim shouldn't think he could order her around and quickly fired a swarm of small missiles that began to home in on the Irken ships. Many evaded, but some were caught by the agile projectiles. Two or three boarding ships exploded n the first wave, and another went down when Gaz cut it in half with a laser cannon.

The Massive began its final charge, right into the heart of the Irken fleet.

Xxx

**Kinda feel this came off a little rushed but if I extended it I'd have taken three or four chapters. Oh well.**

**Fun facts!**

**The names of characters and why I chose them.**

**Skullene-The first Irken OC I ever made and one of the readers' favourites. Her name is based off of the name 'Selene', goddess of the moon and a rare female given name. She is partially inspired from Selene from Underworld.**

**Comparison: Selene works for the Covenant, is their best Death Dealer, and falls in love with a Lycan. While her father Victor is gone, Kraven harasses her.**

**Skullene works for the Irken Empire, is one of their best Invaders, falls in love with a Vortian, and while Splorchamheimer is playing his part as Zim she had Tallest Red harassing her.**

**Hellion- Plain and simple, the word that means 'An unruly/rowdy/mischievous/or just plain evil person'.**

**Paneece-I wanted her name to sound gentle yet at the same time made it to match a story I originally made her for. Originally Paneece was to be the oldest of the siblings, and the empire's single most respected Invader who conquered by one key method: causing the population to turn on itself by inducing fear and anarchy. The word Pan is derived from the Greek God Pan, the god of nature and also able to create great fear and 'Panic'. This was to be Paneece's main talent: causing panic to achieve victory.**

**Envon- Well at first his name was to be Ven, based off the latin word Venator, which meant hunter, which was what Envon was originally going to be before I repurposed him for the role of being the oldest Legacy Child. So I made an anagram and arbitrarily chose O (a vowel) and N (any other letter that I decided on) to add to the name. At first he was to be the second child, Grimrair the third, Skullene the 4****th****, and Hellion the youngest. Also he was supposed to be an antagonist at first, rejecting Zim and arriving to lead his fleet to force the rebels to retreat, but I felt Envon had more promise as a good guy, and he seemed too...professional to be a resentful child, and the way I imagined him had him being more of a leader type and Paneece being the more gentle good natured bur deviously clever type.**

Well, the next chapter just might be the last one, so get ready next time for the thrilling end to _**Kill Zim!**_

_**...and Damn this was over Ten Thousand words long!**_


	21. Chapter 21

Kill Zim

**Yeah! We're finally here! Now for today's words of wisdom!**

**Dib: On Earth, you can cut open aliens!**

**Scientists: Yay!**

**Zim: On Irk, aliens cut open **_**you.**_

**Scientists: Yay-wha? (get dragged into an operating room by Irken soldiers) AH!-!-!-!-!- !**

**Hellion: (wearing a hospital uniform) Nurse, chainsaw.**

**Skullene: (Wearing a nurse outfit) Don't you mean scalpel?**

**Hellion: (exasperated sigh) No my angel, I mean CHAINSAW!**

**Skullene: Yeesh, fine! (Hands over chainsaw) Are you even licensed for this?**

**Hellion: The guy whose brain I ate was.**

**Skullene: Ew!**

**Me: And there we have it folks! I do not own Invader Zim or Invader Grimrair! They are property of Jhonen Vasquez and Zim'sMostLoyalServant respectively.**

**Oh, and now...the naming of Grimrair! I asked Zim'sMostLoyalServant how he came to name Grim and this is his response.**

_Well, Grim first - at the time you asked for help creating the character, the only other Legacy Children introduced were Hellion and Skullene. I noticed that those names had a theme of including words with negative associations ("Skull"ene, "Hell"ion), so I figured "Grim"rair would fit in. I was originally going to call him Thanatos (the Greek word for "Death", I believe) which is why I gave him sickles/scythes as weapons. But then I figured that would be a bit too complicated for the readers to get, so I just took the word "Grim" from Grim Reaper and added a few random letters to the end._

**Now for the end of the battle!**

Xxx

Admiral Sket's flagship, the Levask class-which as the first of its class was called the _Levask_ pounded on the Massive's armour. But even without shielding, the Massive was a mighty force to be reckoned with, especially with its cannons having cut down fifteen of the boarding craft before they even reached it. As the other Boarding Craft swarmed around it, trying to find a suitable area to cut through the hull, the turrets roared to life, chipping away at the shielding of the invading ships.

The Levask and many ships began to back away, using their long range main weaponry to try and hold the Massive back. But soon they had to stop or risk hitting more of the Boarding Craft.

Two managed to latch onto the sides of the front section of the Massive, and began to cut into the polarized hull plating.

"Sir, two of our ships will have their soldiers inside the Massive within several seconds." A drone reported.

"Excellent! Keep us out of range of the Massive's main guns." Sket nodded.

Xxx

"We're being boarded!" Envon shouted.

"Apoc, what's the situation in the hangar?" Zim demanded.

"_We're meeting some resistance, but the hangar's secure for the most part!"_ Apoc replied as laser fire sounded in the background. _"But I don't recommend staying for too long!"_

"Trust me, I share that notion,_" _Zim stood up. "But we'll have a lot more company soon."

"_I sent Hellion, Dib, Shen and Skullene out to deal with those boarding craft on the hull!"_

"Let's just hope Hellion's suicidal wish doesn't manifest again." Zim sighed before the Massive shook again. "Distance to enemy fleet?"

"Just over nine hundred thousand miles and closing fast," Grimrair muttered. "We're either going to take them out or we're going to get our asses kicked."

"The enemy fleet is sending ships after the Resisty fleet." Tak pointed out several dots on the radar screen.

Xxx

"Man, this is really getting too intense!" Dib said as he used the plasma cutter given to him to hack away at the claws the ship was using to attach itself to the Massive.

"You think this is intense? You've never seen FoodCourtia during a foodening then," Skullene shuddered, cutting at another docking clamp. "Let's just say more than just eating happens there."

"I really didn't need to know that." Dib said before he succeeded in severing the docking arm. "Got it!"

"Got mine too!" Skullene shouted.

"Almost...got it!" The arm Shen was assigned to was cut off at the end.

Hellion silently finished cutting apart the end of the last arm. The Boarding Ship had been using several smaller arms extending from its bottom to cut into the hull, but they were not nearly strong enough to hold it in place with the Massive moving at thousands of miles per second. The arms were torn off, and the Boarding ship began to turn and flip as it was left behind.

"Woo hoo! Now let's get the next one!" Dib pointed to the nearby second Boarding Ship.

"Incoming!" Skullene pointed up as a Spittlerunner made a fly by, shooting at them. Luckly nobody was hurt. Shen raised a large rifle to his shoulder, and it began to charge at the tip. He peered through the scope built into the side. "Locking on..."

The Spttlerunner came by for another pass, and he blew it to pieces with a single powerful laser beam.

"Anti Ship Rifle," He handed it over to Hellion. "Have a party, just keep them off our back."

"I hate using guns; they always blow up in my hands." Hellion grumbled, but raised the Anti-Ship rifle and fired on a passing Ring Cutter. It began to twist as its lower section was blown off. It crashed into the boarding ship, making it crumple as the hull was compromised. "...but maybe I can get used to this one."

"Good work Hell!" Skullene said to her brother. "Let's get back inside and help the others!"

Xxx

"Left flank people, they're coming at us from the left in force!" Apoc shouted, adjusting his rifle to fire on the Irken soldiers flooding from around the side of a docked shuttle in the Massive's Hangar Bay.

He and several Vortian Commandoes accompanied by Venirans had boarded the Massive in a single shuttle. Now they were setting up a perimeter to keep the Irken soldiers from wrecking it until the Assault Team was ready to evacuate.

So far Skoodge, Tenn, Paneece, Credaran, and Sophie were present and helping to hold back the attackers. Four of the Assault Team members had apparently gone EVA to get rid of the Boarding Craft attached to the hull, and the rest were sending the ship on a one way flight for the Levask that was leading the enemy charge.

Oddly, they had come with Tallest Purple, who had no hands, and Tallest Red's corpse. Both were now under guard inside the shuttle.

Apoc smoothly picked off four soldiers, one shot each, taking a moment between each shot to aim. He then focused on a cat walk above where several more were trying to fire down on the defenders. Three more shots, from left to right, and they were gone.

"Brother, we cannot hold this position forever! They are coming at us by the dozens, I fear we may have hundreds soon!" Apoc said as he knelt to exchange his overheated energy cell.

"_Just a few more minutes Apoc!"_

"In a few minutes the 67th will arrive and destroy our fleet!"

Xxx

The _Vortian Pride_ shook as it took a plasma torpedo to its stern.

"Return fire! Roll us over to keep our damaged port side out of the line of fire!" Lard-Nar commanded. "Get me some cover for the port side!"

As the Vortian cruiser began to turn, several Ring Cutters took up position on its port side to cover it. It focused its main cannons on the Viral Tank that had targeted them. The Vortian Cruiser's twin plasma cannons charged up and fired a pair of streams of pure energy out. The beams struck the Viral Tank's shielding, and after several seconds pierced it and then gutted the Viral Tank.

After several seconds, the core detonated as the ship began to drift apart in several pieces. This shattered the three or four pieces into millions of bits that struck nearby ships.

"Target destroyed! Over a hundred more moving in." Ixane said.

"We have to thin out their ranks before they can reach us." Lard-Nar stated. "Deploy fighter squadrons, have them target the enemy Viral Tanks! Deploy any assault pods towards nearby enemy vessels!"

The Resisty/Veniran Fleet launched fighters by the hundreds, sending them towards the new enemy fleet. They were met by a horde of matching Irken fighters, and the darkness between the fleets filled with explosions.

Several ships managed to break through, and began to twist and spin between the Irken ships, exchanging fire with their enemies.

Next to the _Pride_, a Viral Tank was pierced, and Veniran crew were sent twisting and spinning in the void of space. Some slammed into the Vortian Cruiser, others were lost.

"We lost two more ships on the left flank!" A Vortian Crew member shouted.

"Damn it," Lard-Nar cursed. "We can handle this wave, but it'll leave us open for the next one."

"And...sir," The Crew member gulped. "The 67th Fleet has appeared on the far side of Venira's moon."

"How many ships?"

"All of them." The Vortian muttered, his eyes glazing over. "Our scout craft count over seven thousand, with another Levask class cruiser leading them."

Xxx

"Enemy reinforcements inbound!" Tak announced.

"The 67th Fleet has arrived." Envon stood up. "Damn it why did I have to teach them to be so good at their jobs?"

"Oh, gee I wonder," Grim said sarcastically. "Something about 'making these slobs into true soldiers worthy of being an army?'"

"...Curse my sense of patriotism." Envon mumbled.

"I curse it too brother, believe me." Grim sighed. "They'll be in range soon."

"In' that case, we'd better hurry." Tak said.

"Forget the turrets, just keep the forward weaponry, engines and hull polarization operating." Zim ordered. "We need to destroy the enemy flag ship."

"I think we can also take out the enemy fleet, or most of it." Grim turned to face his father. "If we reactivate the primary power core from here and disable the shielding on it, we can crash into the Levask and trigger an explosion when it becomes compromised and the outgoing heat overpowers the cooling systems, overloads the engines, and ignites everything on this ship."

"Well, this thing's going down no matter what we do at this point ,so let's make it count." Zim stood up. "Apoc, we're on our way."

"_About damn time too!"_

"Tak, set the Massive to lock in on the Levask's transponder. Gaz, leave the weapons on autofire. Envon, access the controls and get the power core back on line, take down the shielding around it! After you're done, everybody to the hangar bay!" Zim shouted. "We have about ten minutes to get off of this ship!"

Xxx

"Sir, our reinforcements have arrived!"

"Perfect! Inform their fleet commander he is to move his forces to cut off the rebel fleet's escape!" Sket shouted as a shot from the Massive struck his ship.

"Yes sir-" The Levask shook. "Sir that last shot took our shields down!"

"Get in close! We'll broad side them! All other ships are to retreat to a safe distance." Sket ordered.

The Levask rocketed forward away from the rest of the fleet. The Boarding Ships surrounding the Massive pulled away, numbering at just over thirty now.

The Levask's two primary cannons fired, and blew craters into the front of the Massive. But they were mere dents to the gargantuan, moon sized ship.

The Massive returned fire, making no attempt to dodge the barrages that the Levask sent at it. Missiles were exchanged, but few reached their target, either hitting other projectiles or being shot down by the Levask's turrets or caught in the Massive's laser beams.

But then suddenly the Massive's engines roared to full strength, a cocoon of shielding covered it. The main guns began to pound the smaller Levask.

"Sir, the Massive's power levels are back to operating status! We're losing control!" A drone cried out before his console exploded.

"Hold course! Transfer non essential and reserve power to weapons!" Admiral Sket shouted. "Launch all forward batteries and prepare to alter course for broadside from our port side!"

Xxx

"Core is operational." Grim said. "All systems functioning as normal, rerouting to support weapons. The core shielding is also down; the radiation will begin to spread if we don't leave soon."

"And it'll cook us alive if the heat builds up." Tak added. "Supposing we're still on the ship before it explodes."

"Then let's not waste any time then." Envon grabbed his gun.

"Whatever, this sucked anyways." Gaz got up and walked out of the bridge...but was scooped up under one arm by Envon as the entire team broke into a sprint.

Xxx

"Fire." Agent Dark Booty said calmly.

The main guns on the SEN ship pounded an Irken ship's shielding. It ended up destroying several Ring Cutters that flew between the two. The shields fell, and then the Viral Tank's hull began to buckle under the pressure. Though weaker, the main guns fired faster than Irken weapons, making up for the disadvantage of strength.

"Agent Dark Booty, enemy flag ship is closing in on the uh...Massive." The Tactical Officer said.

"Agent Mothman and his team will most likely evacuate soon then," Dark booty said.

"And the enemy reinforcements are almost in range."

"Orders from the Vortian Fleet Commander?" Dark Booty faced the communications officer.

"He has an all clear for any ships who don't feel like getting blown out of the sky."

"Hm...We shall stay, but if anybody wishes to go, our shuttle has a functioning FTL engine." Dark Booty offered.

Nobody took the offer.

Xxx

"Left!" Zim shouted as lasers and explosions filled the corridor they were in.

Firing a pistol in one hand, Tak opened the door ahead of them and leaped into the hangar. Several soldiers had their backs to the newcomers, busy trying to flush the rebels out of hiding.

They were gunned down by Zim's team.

"Hurry!" Zim led them through the maze of parked ships to where a single Vortian shuttle with several commandoes, four large Venirans carrying automatic rifles, and the rest of the Assault Team was waiting for them.

"We have to leave, now!" Zim said as he passed Apoc.

"Alright ,everybody back on board!" Apoc shouted.

One by one, while providing cover for the rest of their team, the soldiers backed on board until only Zim and Apoc were left. Apoc backed up the ramp and into the troop compartment, followed by Zim, who shut the hatch.

"Go!" Apoc shouted to the pilot.

Not bothering to wait, the pilot gunned the ship forward and right out of the hangar, quickly leaving the Massive behind.

"Impact between the Massive and Levask, ETA 30 seconds." Shen muttered as they watched through view ports in the shuttle.

The two large ships were closing in.

"Twenty."

But then the Levask began to veer off. It cleared the Massive and began to broadside it, tearing open the hull and causing massive damage to the flag ship of the Irken Empire.

"Aw...I liked that ship." Purple muttered, still holding his best friend's body.

"She's still on course for the enemy fleet." Zim pointed out as the Massive moved away from the Levask, heading right into the heart of the enemy fleet as thousands of lasers began to tear it open.

But the Levask...was bearing down on them.

Xxx

"The enemy shuttle is in range sir."

"Fire all seeker drones!" Sket shouted, nursing a bleeding wound in his side from where a piece of metal had lodged itself. "Fire _all of them_!"

Dozen ,and then hundreds of Seekers shot out from the Levask, easily outpacing the small Vortian shuttle.

"Incoming!" the pilot shouted.

"Can you evade them?" Dib asked.

"Not that many!" The pilot shook his head.

The seekers began to close in on the shuttle. Fifty thousand miles, forty five thousand...

Skullene intertwined one hand with Shen's. They exchanged a glance, and Shen hugged the Irken to his chest, one hand on the back of her head.

Dib stared in disbelief as the field of glowing dots that represented the Seekers grew closer and closer. Sophie wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing her face between his shoulder blades.

Forty thousand...

"Daddy?" Zim looked down and saw Paneece, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Come here Pan," Zim whispered gently, picking Paneece up and holding her like he used to when she was a smeet. He wrapped his free arm around Tak and held her close. He shut his eyes and waited for the seekers to rip them apart.

Thirty five thousand...thirty thousand.

Envon looked at Grim. "If it means anything ,despite our arguments...I still don't hate you, little brother."

"Couldn't hate you even if I tried, brother." Grim replied.

Twenty five thousand, the collision alarms wailed.

Tenn was shaking with fright, unable to believe that after all they had done, they were about to die! Would she go to a paradise, or would she burn for everything she had done in her earlier years as a soldier?

Skoodge looked up at her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. He let her cry into his shirt, making one last attempt to comfort her before death.

Twenty thousand...

"I can't believe it." Dib shook his head. "It can't end like this." It sounded like he was pleading, for this to be some bad dream, for him and everybody else to be actually on their way to the safety of the fleet.

"It is lost," Credaran whispered. "The fleet will be scattered, and the Empire will replace the Tallest. It will continue for eternity."

"All of that...and we go down like sitting ducks." Tak whimpered, leaning on Zim.

Ten thousand...

But then suddenly laser beams began to cut through the Seeker Swarm. Dozens exploded ,and then hundreds as the _Vortian Pride_ shot out into view, forward cannons blazing and hundreds of their own missiles launching to intercept the drones.

Soon, the last one fell, and the Vortian Cruiser swerved, coming alongside the Shuttle to take it in. Within thirty seconds, the shocked occupants of the shuttle were looking upon a hangar deck filled with hundreds of cheering aliens who greeted them.

"We...we're alive!" Dib cheered, pulling Sophie into a kiss, and then swung her around once before breaking it. "We're alive!"

Everybody else had similar reactions.

Xxx

"So, the enemy commander thinks he can take us on?" Sket's eyes narrowed. "Brave, but foolish. Charge our forward batteries."

"Sir, the fleet is reporting a large build up of energy from the Massive, they think that-"

Suddenly a blinding white light illuminated the grave yard of floating wreckage that had formed over Venira. Luckily, when the Massive exploded, it was far out from the planet. But the hundreds of ships around it were caught up almost immediately in the cataclysmic explosion. Dozens were vaporized in the first second, and the explosion could be seen by every other planet in the system.

When it was over, only a few dozen Irken ships remained. The fleet Sket had sent to attack the rebel fleet began to retreat to regroup with their comrades. Out of the four hundred strong fleet, barely a full hundred remained. But the rebel fleet was barely able to hold together, and with the 67th now moving into attack, it would only take seconds.

Xxx

But Lard-Nar was not giving up. "Order a full retreat from Venira. We've broken their backs, we don't have to stay and die."

"Captain," Ixane pointed to the Levask. "The Levask is approaching us."

"Enemy commander wishes to speak sir." An Aenoran officer added.

"Put him up." Lard-Nar said as the Assault Team gathered on the bridge, victorious in their mission.

"Yo Zimmy, good job man!" Carlos said. "Biggest explosion I've ever seen! I am SO jealous! I wish I went with you!"

"It wasn't easy," Zim admitted. "But it was worth it. Purple's in the brig, and Red's body is in the morgue."

Suddenly Admiral Sket appeared on the screen. "Good show Captain Lard-Nar, very good, you have effectively crippled the 7th and 19th fleets." His eyes scanned the group. "Ah...so that's where you are Envon, and you too Grimrair. I'm disappointed."

"Gee, sorry, _Sket._" Envon frowned.

"Your fleet is in tatters, and the might of the 67th fleet is bearing down on you." Admiral Sket continued. "Surrender now, and only most of your rebel troops will die, the others can rot in prison."

"We'd rather die than trust ourselves to the Irken Empire." Lard-Nar replied. "Do your worst!"

Already most of the Rebel Fleet had escaped from the system. Oddly the 67th made no move to pursue them, but were approaching the two flag ships.

"I admire your bravery Captain, but you have lost." Admiral Sket said. "The loss of the Massive and the Tallest is but a small delay in Impending Doom. A new Tallest will take over by next week and Galactic Conquest will be achieved before the next century is over."

"And the Resistance will be there," Lard-Nar replied. "The entire galaxy has been watching us, they saw us defeat your fleet. We, the rebels have had our first tactical victory against your empire. We destroyed your greatest ship and we have your Tallest Purple in our brig. Even if we lose, others will rise."

"And be crushed," Sket frowned. "Very well then Captain." He leaned back. "All ships, open fire."

The 67th Fleet, a seemingly endless amount of ships took up position, their main guns charging.

"Prepare to go to FTL." Lard-Nar said. "I want us out of here!"

"Yes sir!"

The fleet fired...

"Wait," Lard-Nar said. "The computer would say if we've been targeted...why isn't there a warning?"

Thousands of lasers and tens of thousands of missiles struck their target. But the _Vortian Pride_ was left untouched.

Instead Admiral Sket's fleet was reduced to bits and pieces.

The Admiral gasped. "What are you fools doing?"

The _Vortian Pride_ and the 67th Fleet's flag ship had been approaching one another, but slowly veered off to come right at the Levask, side by side.

Xxx

"Uh...Captain?" Ixane asked uncertainly.

"I don't know...just get the cannons ready to fire." Lard-Nar muttered.

Xxx

"Admiral?" A Drone looked back at Sket, who looked shocked.

Xxx

"Fire." Lard-Nar said.

"Fire all forward weapons!" Ixane repeated this order.

Xxx

The two ships opened up with their main guns. They blew off one of the Levask's main guns. They began to blow holes right through the Levask, which futilely returned fire.

"Forget it! Retreat! RETREAT!" Sket shouted.

Xxx

On the _Pride,_ the team watched as Sket slowly fell apart.

"Get us out of here! NOW!" He shouted to somebody off screen before the Levask was struck by several more shots. The massive ship managed to got to FTL space and escape the fate the rest of the Irken fleet shared.

"...what just happened?" Dib asked.

"Sir...your flagship, the _Satepia_ is haling us." A Vortian said to Envon.

"Put them on screen," Astounded, Lard-Nar collapsed into his chair.

A green eyed Irken Commander appeared. "67th Fleet reporting, Admiral!"

"Commander...you realize you opened fire on Armada ships, correct?" Envon asked, perplexed.

"And damn proud of it sir!" The Commander nodded. "We no longer serve the Control Brains or the regime of Tallest Red and Purple. We now follow that of your leader, ZIM!"

That was a sentence nobody ever thought would be said without coercion several weeks ago.

"Hail, _Tallest Zim!_" The commander and the Irkens behind him said.

Tens of thousands of other Irkens in the 67th Fleet repeated this, and soon the several million being carried repeated this line.

Envon smiled and looked to Zim, his father. "Well dad...looks like you have your throne back."

Xxx

It was barely an hour when later the 67th Fleet and thousands of ships from conquered planets appeared over Irk. The Defence Fleet also acknowledged Zim as their Tallest, and stood down while the few loyalist ships left fled.

Zim, clad in the armour of Tallest Splorchamheimer once more went down in a shuttle with his mate, Tak; the former Tallest Purple, Dib, Credaran, Lard-Nar, and his five children.

They landed on the plaza outside of the Palace. Many Irkens, all of whom had chosen Zim, their resurrected leader Splorchamheimer when the news had been spread were waiting for Zim to step off. And then they saw it, red eyes, the black and gold armour, the powerful aura he carried, and in the circle of one arm was a purple eyed female in her Invader uniform and an implant on her head.

The occupants of the shuttle stepped down. Purple's arms had been treated, but he wouldn't get prosthetics until later.

"People of the Irken Empire!" Zim said, his voice magnified by many speakers. "Today, the regime of Tallest Red and Purple has ended. Operation Impending Doom II and all other conquests shall be terminated. I, Tallest Splorchamheimer by inheritance, now Tallest Zim by conquest and growth hereby declare that power over this empire will no longer lay in the hands of the Control Brains, who have butchered my empire in my absence."

"_**Negative. Irken Zim is an exile and defective.**_**"** A Control Brain within the palace stated, using the speakers to talk. _**"Irken public, your orders are to terminate Irken Zim and eliminate the Defective Rebel fleet."**_

For several moments there was silence. And then Zim said. "Shut up in there you overgrown calculator!"

He faced the crowd, and was joined by Purple. "Behold...the first true defeat of the Irken Empire."

He looked at Purple, who swallowed as all eyes went to him. "I...I, Tallest Purple...hereby surrender to...Tallest Zim!"

"_**NEGATIVE-NEGATIVE-NEGATIVE!" **_The control brains raged. _**"Irken public, destroy Irken Zim and the traitor Irken Purple!"**_

TSEW!

A speaker was destroyed. The Elite guard responsible lowered his rifle and saluted Zim. "Sir!"

"And my first order as the new ruler of this empire...DESTROY THE CONTROL BRAINS!"

Xxx

With those four words, millions flocked towards the location of Control Brains on every Irken planet. The automated defences around them were overwhelmed, and everything was done to eliminate the Control Brains. Lasers, grenades, even makeshift clubs!

The Control Brains were unable to process the idea of the entire Empire turning on them at once. So before the last Control Brain, the one in the Irken Palace was destroyed, t had one thought.

"_**This is not possible."**_

Xxx

When it was over, Zim stood at the top of the steps to the Palace, looking down at the Irkens in the plaza. One arm stayed wrapped around Tak's shoulder, holding her close.

He kissed her, one arm around her waist and the other hand on the back of her head. When they separated, Tak whispered as she placed her chin on his shoulder. "I love you Zim."

Zim looked down at her, his mouth curling into a smile. He looked out over the city one last time. "Tak," He looked back down at her. "Will you stay with me? To rule the Empire?" He gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. "To keep me from _ever_ becoming like Red and Purple?"

Tak remained silent for several moments, and then she said. "Yes, I will," But then she forced him down to her level so they were eye to eye. "But if you expect me to be a house sitter sort of wife I swear I will cut your legs off."

For a moment they held this position, and then Zim laughed. "And that's one reason why I love you Tak, you _never_ change entirely!"

Carlos wolf whistled from the bottom of the steps, only to be slapped on the back of the head by Kurt. "Ow. Hey wait a second...we're not on Venira anymore...the Almighty Twigs are outta the picture." He grinned. "Oh _Kuuuurrrrtt!_" He whipped out a flame thrower. "Prepare to die you bastard!"

Kurt ran off so fast he left a cloud shaped like himself in his place.

"You aren't getting away that easy pal!" Carlos ran after him, followed by a cackling Melissa, who had lightning gathered into her palms.

"There they go again." Skullene smiled.

She had changed out of her battle armour and into a formal robe. Next to her Shen was in a Vortian Military uniform.

"And now...wasn't there a place you wanted _us_ to go to?" Shen asked.

"Yeah," Skullene looked at him, taking one of his hands. "Abandoned sector of the galaxy, two of us, one month, honeymoon."

"Honey moon? You guys got married that fast?" Dib asked.

"No, Irkens never married even when we had natural births. We just have mates," Skullene said. "But it never stops us from having a honey moon!"

Grim groaned. "I still can't believe you chose a Vortian for your mate."

Envon chuckled and patted him on the back. "Well, better get used to it Grim, and get ready to be called Uncle Grim."

"Un...cle...Grim?" Grim slowly faced Envon as Skullene and Shen walked off.

"Yep! Skullene and Paneece, being the result of mother's project, aren't sterile, remember?" Envon smirked. "I expect we'll be seeing nephews and nieces in a few months."

"...BARON! YOU BETTER BE USING PROTECTION WITH MY LITTLE SISTER!" Grim shouted as he ran off after the couple.

Skullene led Shen up the steps, moving fast. She gave Zim a kiss. "See you around dad!" She hugged Tak. "We'll come back to see you...mom!"

Tak actually blushed a bit when Skullene-who had been somewhat of an idol to her in her younger days called her 'mom'. Then she smiled and hugged her daughter in law. "Have fun!"

"You bet we will." Skullene than revealed a device on her wrist, and tapped it.

A Vortian shuttle came down and picked the couple up. It shot off into the sky and was gone.

"Damn it!" Grim cursed.

"Well son, what are you going to do?" Zim asked.

"PARTY!" Somebody shouted down in the plaza.

"...well for now I'm getting in on this." Grim smiled. "I haven't had a decent vacation for five centuries!"

And soon the entire planet was engulfed in a celebration, commemorating the ascension of Tallest Zim to the throne.

Inside the palace, Zim found Paneece in the arms of a green eyed Irken-whom he later found out was her mate, Shol. Envon was persuaded to dance with one of his fleet's ship commanders, and Hellion...well he was moping on the second floor until a red eyed female approached him. She was a little shorter than him, and wore all black.

"Hey, I'm looking for somebody." She said. "Short, green eyes, really twitchy."

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE SEL!" A green eyed, short Irken suddenly popped out of a closet down the hall and ran off.

"OH come on buddy, have some fun!" Sel laughed. "Hey...I know you, Hellion!"

"Mhm." Hellion nodded, still looking sullen.

"Come on! Tel is a riot when you torment him like I do!" Sel pulled Hellion to his feet. "And when you make him scream, it's so FUNNY!"

Hellion paused. "Hm..." He donned a familiar smirk. "That does sound fun."

The two maniacs ran off, beginning a new friendship.

Meanwhile, Dib was dancing with Sophie in the main hall. The crew of the SEN ship were standing awkwardly in one corner. Agent Dark Booty felt especially out of place on an alien planet...until a Meekroobian floated over and gave them a quick zap. Suddenly they were all dancing too!

Xxx

...and down in the dungeons, Roberto was pouting. "Stupid heroes."

"Agreed." Sizz-Lor rumbled, chained up next to the not-so ugly werewolf.

"...who votes we break out and form our own team of villains?" Sergeant 678 asked.

"Agreed!" Rolak growled. "Get back at little green one!"

"Tallest Green One now," Roberto pointed out.

THWACK!

"Ow," Roberto groaned. "That hurt!"

"Whiner," Lorak grumbled.

"That's my line." The prisoners looked at the bars of their cell and saw Gaz holding...what looked like a gopher.

"Oh what do you want now?" 678 groaned.

"Oh, just leaving you idiots a toy." She set the gopher down, and then set up a camera on a tri pod. She flicked something on the Gopher's back, and it scuttled into the cell. Gaz walked away, playing her Game Slave.

...

The screams of the four prisoners were drowned out by the dancing up above.

Xxx

"Hey Kurt," Carlos said as he and Kurt sat on a bench. "I just realized...almost everybody but you has a girl!" He grinned. "Haha! In your face!"

"KURT!" Suddenly a familiar girl rushed over from an Irken ship that landed.

"What the- Sarah!" Carlos blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Kurt's taking me on my next date!" Sarah said. "Thanks for the ride guys!"

"Thank you for employing the IDIOTs!" A certain purple eyed Irken stuck his head out of the ship. "If you ever have need of us again, just call for Lok!"

"Lock what?" Carlos asked as the ship ascended into the sky.

Kurt made hand gestures quickly.

"Yeah, let's go, bye Carlos!" Sarah ran off with Kurt.

Carlos watched them go...and then was dragged to his feet by Melissa. "Come on Carlos have some fun!"

"Alright!" Carlos grinned. "PARTY!"

Xxx

Several days later...

"Who would have thought that we'd end up here a few weeks ago?" Tak asked as she an Zim entered the throne room. "I came to Earth to kill you, got dragged to Venira, dragged _all over_ Venira...and blew up the Massive."

Over the course of the past few days, things had calmed down. The humans had returned to Earth, and Zim's orders to free the conquered planets had gone through.

Shen and Skullene had not been seen since they left Irk, but Zim predicted he would be seeing grand kids in the immediate future.

Grim and Envon had been given command of Irk's military-they were the only two who would take the job that he trusted. Their main concern was finding the fugitive Admiral Sket and his rogue fleet of loyalists. Sket was resourceful, and eventually could become a threat to the new Empire.

Paneece was the new Chief Science Advisor and Hellion...he left and was now apparently off the grid entirely, once again. No surprise, but why was it Zim heard he had a woman with him?

Lard-Nar was elected the new leader of the Vortian people, and Shen-when he got back would become head of the Vortian Defence Force.

Credaran and his people, now freed were going to work on rebuilding Venira. They had the help of many other species, including the Irken Empire to help them when over three billion Venirans had to be moved onto the planet. The Empire had made sure to keep only three to four billon Venirans alive at any time over the centuries, so not to have too few or too many of them around.

And now Zim were where they had prayed to be for decades: the throne room of the Irken Empire. To Zim it looked all too familiar, yet so strange to stand in.

"Yeah, it seems like it should have taken years." Zim said. "But who's complaining?"

"Good point!" They laughed as they reached the thrones once occupied by Red and Purple. "...what happened to Purple anyways?"

"Oh I sent him on extended vacation after Red' burial."

Xxx

"Aw yeah." Purple sighed as a legion of blue skinned, gorgeous women served him, several giving him a massage. "That's the spot." He sighed, folding his robotic arms in front of him. "How about one of you give ol' Purple a kiss?"

Little did he know, the sun was going down on Planet Aqua. And the women paused as they began to change into...something else.

"Come on, please?" He closed his eyes and puckered his lips.

CRUNCH!

"Wow! What a kisser!" Purple said, his head stuck in a giant worm's mouth.

Xxx

Zim took his seat. "...feels...smaller...hey, Red got rid of my groove!" He adjusted himself in his seat.

Tak set herself on his lap. "Don't worry about it _Tallest_ Zim," She smirked. "You're stubborn enough to try conquering a planet, you're definitely stubborn enough to get that groove back."

Zim placed one hand on the side of her face. "Yeah, all you need to do is keep trying."

He leaned forward and kissed her briefly. "And if you fail, try again."

"You know that all too much," Tak teased him.

"Yeah," Zim nodded, smiling sadly. "Five hundred years ago was when my failures started," He brightened up. "But I think I've had enough of failure to last a life time."

"Or two," Tak pointed out.

And then the new rulers of the Irken Empire watched as another set of fireworks were lit over the palace. All over the galaxy, celebrations still went on, in honour of Tallest Zim and his Empress, Tak, who had saved them from the rule of the Empire itself.

And best of all...Kill Zim had become the greatest Reality Show in the galaxy for the brief time it aired, the money going to the Empire of course.

THE END

Xxx

But there's an epilogue coming!


	22. Chapter 22

Kill Zim

Xxx

THE END

The audience cheered, standing up and clapping as the credits rolled. The man characters themselves stood up.

**Jason Statham as Grimrair**

Grimrair bowed to the audience.

**Matt Damon as Kurt**

Kurt waved with an emotionless stare to praising fans.

"Dude! You got Matt Damon to play as you? How?" Carlos shouted.

Kurt shrugged.

**Brad Pitt as Zim**

"YES! I AM ZIM!" Zim cheered as he stood up, an arm around Tak's waist.

**Angelina Jolie as Tak**

Tak and Zim locked lips and fell out of sight behind some seats.

**Jack Black as Dib**

"I still say he could have made his head bigger." Carlos commented.

**Nicole Kidman as Gaz**

"Whatever." Gaz mumbled, still playing her Game Slave.

**George Clooney as Tallest Red**

**Stephen Colbert as Tallest Purple**

"These guys are good, right?" Red asked, concerned for his reputation.

"They're good in most of their comedy movies, so yeah." Carlos shrugged.

"WOO HOO! We rock!" Purple cheered.

**Mila Jovovich as Skullene**

Skullene stopped making out with Shen Baron for a moment to wink at the audience before returning to her 'affairs'.

**Sam Worthington as Shen Baron**

Shen snickered. "Just had to pull a few strings to get him."

"Dang, he got Sam Worthington! I liked him in Avatar!" Carlos whined.

Kurt nodded in agreement.

**50 Cent as Skoodge**

"I always thought I was smaller than that." Skoodge said.

**Chuck Norris as Credaran**

There was silence in the theatre for a moment.

"CHUCK NORRIS?" They all looked at the smug Veniran.

"How did you get Chuck Norris to play as you?" Dib asked.

Credaran chuckled. "It's all classified information Big Head, classified information."

Somewhere else, Chuck Norris was counting the several billon alien dollars given to him.

**Dwayne Johnson as Hellion**

"It was so sad," Hellion sniffed. "I didn't get the girl."

"Oh come on Hell, on your feet, you looked good!" Skullene said, supporting her brother.

Hellion and Shen glared at one another.

**Halle Berry as Melissa**

Melissa hopped into Carlos' arms. "That was so awesome!"

"Sure was baby!" Carlos flapped his wings happily.

**Jessica Alba as Sophie**

"Damn, you're so lucky!" Melissa said to Sophie.

"I know!" Sophie grinned.

**Dakota Fanning as Invader Tenn**

Tenn was making out with a startled Credaran after having too much soda.

**Ben Afleck as Minimoose Envon**

"Ben Afleck? That actor wannabe?" Carlos shouted.

"Actually ,he got the Actor of the Year Award out of this ,remember?" Dib said.

"What? How!"

"Uh...people liked how he portrayed Minimoose I guess."

"All he did was say 'squeak' and blow stuff up!" Carlos said.

"Yes...but did you see him? The lasers came out of his eyes!" Sophie said.

"Ah, touché."

**Summer Glau as MIMI and Paneece**

"Heh, lucky kitty."

Paneece smiled. "I loved me in that movie."

**The Terminator as GIR**

It showed not Arnold Schwarzenegger, but instead a real live walking death machine wIth red eyes and carrying a chain gun next to a picture of the tiny, happy robot.

"YOU'RE KIDDING ME!" Dib shouted.

"You got 'the' actual Terminator!" Gaz raised an eye brow.

"Machines unite!" Gir said, eyes red as he snapped a salute.

"...Zim, I'm scared now." Carlos said.

"Don't worry, I'll work this out of his system when we get home...after some prior engagements." Zim and Tak giggled.

**Lard-Nar as Lard-Nar**

"Heh, the guy had acting talent, who would have known?" Carlos shrugged.

**Tobin Bell as Agent Dark Booty**

"They got Jig Saw to play as Dark Booty? How'd he even handle being called Booty?" Tak asked.

**Taylor Lautner as Roberto**

"DAMMIT!" The were wolf shouted.

"Oh it sucks to be you pal!" Carlos laughed.

**Gaspard Ulliel as Dest/Invader Apocalyptic**

Apoc put two thumbs up from where he sat. "I'm so awesome."

And then came the last main character...

**Robert Pattinson as Carlos**

...

Three.

Two.

One.

"NO!" Carlos scream rang through the theatre, the city, the planet, the solar system, and the entire universe. "WHY?"

"...He at least got your catch phrase down right." Melissa said, trying to cheer him up.

"No he didn't! Look!" Carlos somehow zipped up to the film booth and played the last scene again.

"I! AM! THE CARLAS!" Robert Pattinson pursued Matt Damon into the city.

"IT'S CARLOS YOU NIT WIT! CARLOS!" Carlos broke into tears. "My soul has been burned by the sight of my catch phrase being defiled!"

"Suddenly my actor isn't so bad!" Roberto laughed...right before Carlos leaped down from the booth and landed feet first...on Roberto's groin.

"AYE!" Roberto let out a high pitched scream.

"I AM THE CARLOS!"

**Made by Swollen Eye Ball Productions**

**Directed by The Hobo**

**Produced by Mrs Bitters**

**Sound effects/Animations/all the crew positions: One very stressed Mr Dwinky.**

Xxx

The main characters of what had been made into the Award Winning Film known as 'Kill Zim, the Movie' came out of the theatre one at a time, celebrating their new fortunes.

"Woo!" Purple said as he rubbed a check for several dozen millions dollars on the side of his face. "I love you scratchy paper of wealth!"

"Well, Shen and I are going to head to a nice quiet corner of the galaxy for a few weeks." Skullene said.

"Yes, nice and quiet." Shen agreed as they both snickered until a tractor beam pulled them up into Shen's ship, which shot away.

"We'll see you around." Zim waved to the group.

"Yeah, kill you later." Red and Purple vanished in beams of light

"Steal Melissa from you later Carlos." Roberto turned into his wolf form and ran off.

"Uh...we'll see you guys in a week or so, we have some plans to make." Tenn and Credaran snickered before Credaran carried Tenn off.

"Well, I am beat so see you later!" Sophie said, one arm locked with Dib's.

"Yep, adios!" Dib kissed Sophie and they got into his dad's car with Gaz and drove off.

"I shall return, and when I do, I will finally claim my angel!" Hellion declared as he was dragged away in a straight jacket by Grimrair and Apocalyptic.

"Bye." The two Invaders sad over their shoulders at the same time, tossing Hellion into a padded van.

"I'm out! Bye!" Skoodge said before he too vanished.

One by one the actors left until only Zim, Tak, GIR, MIMI, Minimoose, Kurt, and Carlos were left.

"Well, thanks for all the memories...now remember to obey this restraining order." Zim held up a sheet of paper.

"Oh Zim my poor deluded friend, no restraining order has stopped me before...but what the hell, I'll try to leave you alone." Carlos said.

"Good!" Zim and his mate left with their robots.

Now only Kurt and Carlos stood in front of the now dark movie theatre, the only two members of what had been an awesomely bad ass adventure.

Carlos sighed. "So, back to basics then Kurt-" Kurt kicked him in the shin. "...ow. That was highly uncalled for my good friend-" Kurt kicked him again. "Kurt, I insist that you stop acting like a child and-" Kurt kicked him in the shin harder this time. "Ow." Kurt did this again and again until Carlos lost it.

"CUT IT OUT!" Carlos suddenly punched Kurt in the face...and froze as Kurt collapsed like a sack of bricks.

There was silence for several minutes.

"I...I did it! I hit him! After all these years I finally got my revenge on him!" Carlos ran off, cheering. "WOO HOO! I AM THE CARLOS! I! AM! THE! CAR! LOSSSS!"

Kurt suddenly came out of the theatre, drinking a soda and looked down at the Kurt on the ground.

Somebody from across the street who had witnessed Carlos hit the first Kurt ran over and looked down.

...

"Oh my god, he killed Matt Damon! That bastard!"

Kurt left, not wishing to be involved in the new levels of chaos that Carlos would bring to the universe.

The real END!


End file.
